In the middle of the night, Lily awoke to hear a loud scream. She ran downstairs to see what was wrong.
The Professor was sitting in the rec room with his hands to his head, screaming.
"You scream like a girl," Lily pointed out.
"Must...talk...slowly...it...conserves...energy..."
"What's the problem?"
"Please...Lily..."
"That's not my name!"
"Please...get...the...X...Men..."
"Why?"
"Please...Lily..."
"That is not my name!!!"
"Please..."
Lily threw her hands up into the air. "Oh well, I wouldn't give my real name to you people anyways, you're all crazy!"
Cyclops came bounding into the room, screaming, "JEAAAAANNNNNNNN!"
He stopped dead in front of the Professor. "Oh, Professor, it's you. I thought you were Jean. You scream like a girl."
"I...know..." the Professor whispered. Then he went into a dead faint.
The rest of the X-Men filed into the room.
"Did he faint again? Honest ta God, he's such a wuss, " Rogue remarked.
A monkey darted into the room, climbed atop the Professor, and took his pulse.
"Monkey!" screamed Lily.
"Oh, that's Eugene. He's the medical expert here," Jubilee explained.
Eugene the monkey waved.
Beast looked at the Professor for a long time. Finally, he said slowly, "He obviously felt some sort of psychic disturbance..."
"Oh shut up Beast, everyone's figured that out by now!" Storm snapped.
"Well what do we do? You're the leader!" Wolverine shouted at Cyclops.
"We...we...go to the war room and figure it out from there!" Cyclops announced triumphantly.
"Oh, you're so smart honey!" Jean gushed.
They all marched to the war room and sat down. "Well? Now what?" Lily asked.
Eugene the monkey suddenly ran into the room, jumped onto Cyclops' shoulder, and whispered something in his ear. "We hack into the Professor's e-mail!" Cyclops declared, after listening to Eugene for a moment.
"What good will that do?" Lily asked.
"Silence!" Cyclops thundered. He turned to Eugene. "Good job, Eugene."
Eugene the monkey gave Cyclops a thumbs-up sign and scampered off.
"Hey, where's Gambit?" asked Jubilee.
Gambit strolled in with a redhead on his arm. "Everyone, dis be Kelly. Say hi to Kelly."
"Hi Kelly," the X-Men echoed.
"Gambit!" yelled Rogue in frustration. She punched him in the ribs. Gambit went flying backwards into the wall. Kelly looked at Rogue, then at Gambit. She shrugged and walked off.
"Aha! I have hacked into Professor Xavier's e-mail!" Beast announced.
Everyone gathered around at the computer.
"You've got mail," the computer stated.
Beast quickly scrolled through the Professor's e-mail. "Hmm...a chain letter from Magneto, some forwards from Moira Mactaggert...MY GOD!"
"What is it Beast?!" Jubilee screamed.
"If I send this magic frog to 200 people in the next 20 minutes my crush will like me!!!" Beast exclaimed. He turned slowly to look at Cyclops. "Oh Scotty...." he said slyly.
Cyclops backed away slowly.
"Moving on..." Lily said, exasperated. She grabbed the mouse from Beast and clicked on an e-mail entitled, "Please Read. Planning to Take Over World."
Dear Professor Charles Xavier:
I am a new mutant super villian bent on taking over the world. I have been informed that you are the person to contact with this information. I look forward to our fight over the fate of the world.
From, Unknown Supervillian : )
"Fascinating," Beast exclaimed. "I have seen other e-mails that end in that sideways smiley face! Why don't we have a sideways smiley face key?" He examined the keyboard in detail.
Lily smacked her forehead in frustration. "I thought you were some kinda genius?!"
"Nope, that's Eugene," replied Beast.
"Well, I think we all know what we have to do. We must stop this evildoer! Or my name isn't Peter Parker!" Cyclops yelled.
"It's not," Storm pointed out.
"Yeah, well, we'll stop him anyway. To the Blackbird!"
"Um...Scott? We're all in our 'jammies and it's 2 a.m." Jean whispered to Cyclops.
"To the Blackbird...tomorrow!" Cyclops yelled.
Everyone filed upstairs and went back to bed.
Meanwhile, in an "abandoned" warehouse...
"Where the hell are the X-Men?" a voice thundered.
"I'm getting lonely..."
The Professor was sitting in the rec room with his hands to his head, screaming.
"You scream like a girl," Lily pointed out.
"Must...talk...slowly...it...conserves...energy..."
"What's the problem?"
"Please...Lily..."
"That's not my name!"
"Please...get...the...X...Men..."
"Why?"
"Please...Lily..."
"That is not my name!!!"
"Please..."
Lily threw her hands up into the air. "Oh well, I wouldn't give my real name to you people anyways, you're all crazy!"
Cyclops came bounding into the room, screaming, "JEAAAAANNNNNNNN!"
He stopped dead in front of the Professor. "Oh, Professor, it's you. I thought you were Jean. You scream like a girl."
"I...know..." the Professor whispered. Then he went into a dead faint.
The rest of the X-Men filed into the room.
"Did he faint again? Honest ta God, he's such a wuss, " Rogue remarked.
A monkey darted into the room, climbed atop the Professor, and took his pulse.
"Monkey!" screamed Lily.
"Oh, that's Eugene. He's the medical expert here," Jubilee explained.
Eugene the monkey waved.
Beast looked at the Professor for a long time. Finally, he said slowly, "He obviously felt some sort of psychic disturbance..."
"Oh shut up Beast, everyone's figured that out by now!" Storm snapped.
"Well what do we do? You're the leader!" Wolverine shouted at Cyclops.
"We...we...go to the war room and figure it out from there!" Cyclops announced triumphantly.
"Oh, you're so smart honey!" Jean gushed.
They all marched to the war room and sat down. "Well? Now what?" Lily asked.
Eugene the monkey suddenly ran into the room, jumped onto Cyclops' shoulder, and whispered something in his ear. "We hack into the Professor's e-mail!" Cyclops declared, after listening to Eugene for a moment.
"What good will that do?" Lily asked.
"Silence!" Cyclops thundered. He turned to Eugene. "Good job, Eugene."
Eugene the monkey gave Cyclops a thumbs-up sign and scampered off.
"Hey, where's Gambit?" asked Jubilee.
Gambit strolled in with a redhead on his arm. "Everyone, dis be Kelly. Say hi to Kelly."
"Hi Kelly," the X-Men echoed.
"Gambit!" yelled Rogue in frustration. She punched him in the ribs. Gambit went flying backwards into the wall. Kelly looked at Rogue, then at Gambit. She shrugged and walked off.
"Aha! I have hacked into Professor Xavier's e-mail!" Beast announced.
Everyone gathered around at the computer.
"You've got mail," the computer stated.
Beast quickly scrolled through the Professor's e-mail. "Hmm...a chain letter from Magneto, some forwards from Moira Mactaggert...MY GOD!"
"What is it Beast?!" Jubilee screamed.
"If I send this magic frog to 200 people in the next 20 minutes my crush will like me!!!" Beast exclaimed. He turned slowly to look at Cyclops. "Oh Scotty...." he said slyly.
Cyclops backed away slowly.
"Moving on..." Lily said, exasperated. She grabbed the mouse from Beast and clicked on an e-mail entitled, "Please Read. Planning to Take Over World."
Dear Professor Charles Xavier:
I am a new mutant super villian bent on taking over the world. I have been informed that you are the person to contact with this information. I look forward to our fight over the fate of the world.
From, Unknown Supervillian : )
"Fascinating," Beast exclaimed. "I have seen other e-mails that end in that sideways smiley face! Why don't we have a sideways smiley face key?" He examined the keyboard in detail.
Lily smacked her forehead in frustration. "I thought you were some kinda genius?!"
"Nope, that's Eugene," replied Beast.
"Well, I think we all know what we have to do. We must stop this evildoer! Or my name isn't Peter Parker!" Cyclops yelled.
"It's not," Storm pointed out.
"Yeah, well, we'll stop him anyway. To the Blackbird!"
"Um...Scott? We're all in our 'jammies and it's 2 a.m." Jean whispered to Cyclops.
"To the Blackbird...tomorrow!" Cyclops yelled.
Everyone filed upstairs and went back to bed.
Meanwhile, in an "abandoned" warehouse...
"Where the hell are the X-Men?" a voice thundered.
"I'm getting lonely..."