In Senor Corrupt's "underground" lair...

"Wolverine! Give me those pizzas you pig!" Lily yelled as Wolverine tried to wrestle the pizzas from her grasp.

"Cyyyyyyyyyyyclops! Lily won't give me the piiiiiiiiiizzas!" he complained in a whiny voice.

"There, there, " Cyclops said comfortingly, patting Wolverine on the back. The X-Men stared at him, eyebrows raised.

"What? Haven't you ever seen a guy pat another guy comfortingly on the back before?"

Signor Corrupt suddenly entered the room with his two goons, Moose and Rocco. He smiled when he saw the X-Men sitting dejected in his jail cells.

"Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! ...Ha....ha ha ha ha ha ha...ha...ha ha ha ha ha...ha ha...ha.....ha............ha......" Senor Corrupt abruptly stopped laughing. "Oh come on people, it's funny! X-Men, in the cells, dejected, can't get out...no? Fine, ruin the fun!"

The X-Men stared blankly at him.


Elsewhere...


Eugene the monkey was tending to the fainted Professor Xavier in the med bay. Jean was in the kitchen, busy trying to figure out how to work the toaster. Suddenly the Professor bolted upright, yelled, "The X-Men are in trouble!" and promptly fainted.

Jean walked into the room to find Eugene running around yelping things in monkey. Jean started clapping in amusement. She suddenly stopped.

"What's that Eugene?"

"Ooo ooo ee!"

"Trouble?! Where?!?"

"Eee ee ah oo oo!"

"Well I'LL just have to save them!" Jean yelled. "Quickly! To the Batmobile!"

"Ee."

"What did you say?! I am not a fainting, useless idiot that serves no purpose in the team except to look pretty and be a love interest for Cyclops!"

"Ooo ah eee oo!"

"Look who's talking! You're a monkey!"

At that Eugene let out a war cry and sprang forward, knocking Jean over.


Meanwhile...


"Ha ha, X-Men! Now that I have placed you in an easily escapable situation, me and my accomplices are going to go gloat in the gloating room! Mwa ha ha!" Senor Corrupt boomed.

The X-Men and Lily were tied loosely in easily breakable rope. They all sat in an open cage, and were being lowered painstakingly towards a vat of lava.

"You have a gloating room?" Lily asked skeptically.

"Doesn't everyone? Come Moose, come Rocco. To the gloating room, where we shall gloat!" Senor Corrupt exclaimed happily.

Moose and Rocco stared forward.

"I'll bring Pictionary..." Senor Corrupt said temptingly.

Moose and Rocco snapped out of their stupor. They all skipped merrily to the gloating room.

"They are gone! How do we get out of this?" Storm asked.

All heads swiveled to look at Cyclops.

"I want my teddy..." Cyclops whimpered.

Lily groaned. "He's not going to help us. Don't you people have special powers and stuff? Someone do something, that lava's getting closer!"

Wolverine sniffed lightly. "That ain't lava...IT'S PIZZA SAUCE!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed everyone in horror.

Suddenly a man wearing a suit and mask swung in. He landed atop the cage.

"Spiderman!" everyone but Lily exclaimed joyfully.

"Yo." Spiderman replied.

"Save us!" Rogue screamed.

"Sorry, I'm not even supposed to be here. That fat criminal mastermind guy's chasing me again, but I think I lost him at Dairy Queen. See ya!" Spiderman replied, swinging out a window.

"Great! Now what?" Lily asked.

"Ah know! Ah can absorb this cage's memories, thoughts, an powers!" Rogue exclaimed.

"Rogue...I t'ink that only works wit people..." Gambit said gently.

"Oh." Rogue said sadly.