Her Smile
Summary: Lucy's crisis turns into the most traumatic thing in her life (before Valentine's day)
A/N: I found that Kellie Martin's sister, died of Lupus about a year ago. This is dedicated to her and the Martin family. The poem, also mine, was written for Kellie and Heather Martin.
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She dried your tears
With gentle care
Whenever you needed her
She was always there
Through the laughter
Through the tears
Together you made it through
Those awful years
And the thing
You remember most
Was her gentle smile
But even that memory's a ghost
When she left
So did a part of you
'She was rock of the family'
But she still lives inside of you
And the thing you remember
All the while
Was her laughter
And her sweet smile
And she'd want you to remember
Her for who she was
She loves you still
And you love her always
So the thing you will always remember
Is the way she made you smile
With her laughter, with her kindness
And with her loving smile.
"My sister, Heather, and I have always been best friends. I saw her take her first step, and she watched me ride a bike for the first time. We waited together on the corner after school for the ice cream man. I never missed her basketball games, and she always watched the shows I worked on. We went through our parents' divorce, and after that we thought we could get through anything, as long as we were together. For 19 years, I watched my little sister, Heather, grow into a beautiful woman. I was there when she was born, and I was there when she died." ~ Kellie Martin.
"Look, Carter! Frankly, I don't give a damn about- hold on!" Lucy sighed and reluctantly answered her phone, "Lucy Knight," from there on, everything seemed to go in slow motion. Carter watched, curiously as Lucy's blue, frustrated eyes grew to at least twice their normal size and filled with horror. The phone seemed to fall slowly from her fingers to the floor as she gasped. Everything sped up as Lucy dived for her phone again.
"Yes, yes, I'm here, Mom. I- I'll be right there," she whispered, still sitting on the floor, her long blond hair all over her face. She blew a strand away from her eyes and stood up to face Carter again, "There's... A family emergency. I... I have to go," she said, very quietly. She seemed to have forgotten the fight she and Carter had just been having. And without waiting for an answer, she walked swiftly past him, her eyes glazed over as if she were in a trance. She kept shaking her head and soon, she broke into a run and disappeared out the ambulance bay doors.
"Where's she going?" Dave asked as he watched her leave.
"Dunno. Said it was a family emergency."
"Eh, that's what they all say. I surprised you let her go," Dave shrugged.
"I didn't," Carter whispered, still watching after her, "She wouldn't let me reply."
"Look, that's no flue, doctor," Lucy shook her head at the man.
"Heather will be fine, Lucy! I've prescribed her some Compazine. She will recover in a few days."
"Can't you see what's happening?" Lucy demanded, "My sister has abdominal pain, fever, insomnia *and* nausea! No anti-nausea medication will make all that go away!"
"Lucy you are overreacting! You are just a young med. student! I am an actual doctor!" he told her.
"Are you discriminating against me because of my rank, Dr. Carlyle? Because I know just as much about medicine as you do," Lucy was mad.
"Yelling at me won't help to get your sister better! Now, I don't know why your mother called you, but you can go back to work."
"She called *me* because she doesn't trust *you!* She wants me to look at Heather-"
"And I find that unnecessary. If her condition worsens, then maybe you should look at her."
"I am going in to see my sister now!" Lucy told him and walked past him into the exam room.
"Hey," her sister smiled weakly. Lucy loved it when she smiled. It always cheered her up.
"Hi, Heather."
"They say it's just the flue," she was being strong, though Lucy could tell it was an act. Heather didn't believe the doctor either.
"Yeah," Lucy smiled back at her sister, "Just the flue."
Lucy was up with Heather all night in Heather's room laughing and exchanging stories.
"I miss this," Heather told Lucy, honestly.
"So do I," Lucy replied, "We used to do this all the time. I remember, whenever I had a nightmare, it was your bed I climbed into, not Mom's. Because, although you are younger than me, you were never afraid of anything. Ever. And you always seemed like you were older than me."
"And when you couldn't get back to sleep, I'd stay up with you and we'd tell jokes and things all night long. Like we're doing now," Heather sighed. Her voice was sad and weak, the usual joyful, fun tone almost out of it completely.
"I'm really sorry you can't get to sleep, Heather," Lucy sighed, "You need your rest. We shouldn't be up this late with you sick and all. The... Flue can be pretty bad," Lucy called it the flue. She knew it wasn't the flue, but she couldn't run any tests to find out what it really was and she knew Dr. Carlyle wouldn't listen to her. Carlyle disliked Lucy as much as Lucy disliked him.
"I know, I just can't, Lucy. You don't understand," Heather's voice was painful, "I always have this pain, whether it be my stomach or my head. And I'm always so hot and sticky. And when I do get to sleep, it's not usually very restful. And I'll just get up an hour later to puke!" tears began to stream down Heather's face.
"I know, honey, I know," Lucy said, taking her sister in her arms, "Everything will be OK, Heather, I promise. We'll get through this, just like we got through everything else."
Hand on her head, Lucy entered the ER again. She pushed back her hair, wearily. She let out a little moan as she crossed her arms on the admit desk and laid her head on them.
"Hey, I think Lucy's dead," Jerry whispered.
"Lucy, get up. You don't want Carter to find you like that, do you?" Chuny shook her.
"No, Mom, I don't wanna go to school today..."
"She's out," Chuny told Jerry.
"Wonder why she's so tired. It's not like she was on yesterday," Jerry lifted Lucy's wrist, then let it drop to the desk again.
"Yeah, she took some time off. Family thing, I think she said," Dave said as he passed.
"What family thing?" Randi's interest got the better of her, "Did someone die or something?"
"Hey, how should I know?" Dave asked, "I don't keep track of Lucy 24/7!"
"Maybe you should! What's she doing sleeping?"
"Uh oh," Chuny muttered as Carter saw Lucy asleep, "OK, rise and shine!" he clapped his hands but she did nothing. He looked at her, puzzled.
"She's dead!" Jerry said again, "I said that the first time she collapsed."
"OK, Luce, you have a job to do, remember? Hm..." Carter thought, "Maybe she should take the day off today. She could be sick."
"But she took yesterday off! And the day before that!" Chuny told him, "Remember?"
"Yeah, but whatever she did yesterday, it doesn't look like she recovered." Carter answered.
"It's nothing a little coffee can't cure!" Jerry said.
"No... No more coffee..." Lucy muttered.
"OK, girl, it's about time!" Carter sighed as Lucy began to stir and open her eyes slightly. She blinked a couple times then sat straight up, eyes wide open.
"Carter!" she declared, shocked, "I- I'm sorry, I didn't get a whole lot of sleep for the past few days. I was just a little tired, that's all!"
"Whoa, Lucy, calm down!" Carter grabbed her shoulders, "It's OK! We all fall asleep sometimes during our shifts! Relax!"
"I can't!" Lucy moaned. She blinked, "I mean, sure, I can relax!"
"Luce, is something wrong?" Carter asked, noticing something in Lucy's voice.
"You know me too well," she muttered.
"What?"
"Nothing."
"Hey Lucy!" Randi called. Lucy spun around.
"What?"
"What were you doing the past few days?"
"I went to see my sister," Lucy shouted, "Is that a problem?" Elizabeth stopped, while passing and hearing Lucy's screams. Lucy let out a frustrated sigh, picked up a chart without seeing it, and walked away.
"Gee, I was just curious. A simple 'nothing,' would have suffice."
"Hm..." Elizabeth said, puzzled.
"Nausea and abdominal,"-yawn-"pain, huh?"
"And she won't sleep," the woman added. Lucy looked past her to the girl on the bed and nodded.
"We can run some tests. Does she have a fever?"
"Sometimes," Lucy's phone was ringing again. Elizabeth looked in as she passed and saw Lucy answer the phone.
"Lucy," Lucy said. There was someone speaking on the other end. Lucy nodded, "I'll be right there," she hung up, "Mrs. Bartlet, I'm afraid I have to go. Dr. Carter will take it from here," Lucy left the room. As she did, she passed Elizabeth and muttered a quick hi.
"Lucy, is there something wrong?" Elizabeth asked, but Lucy shook her head.
"But tell Carter that I'll be out for an hour or two. I'd forgotten my aunt's funeral was today," Lucy told her and left.
"Didn't know you had an aunt, Lucy," Elizabeth sighed.
Lucy held her sister's hand, sitting beside her bed in Mercy. Soon, Dr. Carlyle entered.
"What did you give her?" she demanded.
"I told you, we only put her on some anti-nausea medication. She had a violent allergic reaction to it."
"Sure," Lucy muttered with bitterness.
"Lucy, your sister began to convulse and her eyes rolled back into her sockets. She was not well, but it was just allergies, she will be fine!"
"How do you know?"
"It's just the flue!"
"You keep saying that!" Lucy yelled, standing up angrily.
"Calm down, Miss. Knight!" Carlyle tried to tell her.
"No, I will not calm down! Any one can see that my sister is severely ill! And if you don't run any tests on her, I'll do it myself!"
"Maybe in the future if she shows further signs of illness, but I don't think that's necessary right now. It's a waste of time and money, Miss. Knight, and I will not have that!" Just then, her mother entered. Lucy sat back down in her chair.
"Lucy..." She sighed, tears in her eyes. Dr. Carlyle checked on Heather and left.
"Hi mom," Lucy smiled weakly.
"Lucy, honey... I want to move her to County," Barbara Knight told her first born. Lucy's mouth dropped.
"County? As in Cook County General Hospital? The one I work at?" she asked. Barbara nodded. Lucy looked at her sister and squeezed her hand tighter.
"Why, Mom?"
"Then you could treat her and I wouldn't have to pull you away from work because you'd be working. I'd pay you."
"But she's going home, isn't she?" Barbara shook her head.
"Well, they're discharging her, but I want her to be in a hospital, incase something else happens."
"Mom, nothing else will happen!" Lucy stood up, "Heather will be perfectly fine! I promise!" but even Lucy herself wasn't sure she could keep that promise. Why was she telling her mother this when she had just fought with Heather's doctor telling him that Heather was not fine? She didn't know right then. When brought to the hospital that night, Heather had only been treated for the convulsions and nothing else. Barbara sighed.
"Fine, I will take her home."
"If anything else does happen, call me," Lucy told her, and left.
Heather didn't get better after that. She just got worse. Soon, Heather stopped eating. She had stiff joints, fatigue, and intense muscle pain as well. She was so weak, she couldn't hold a spoon. Later, she couldn't eat because she had sores in her mouth, and it hurt her too much. Two nights later, she was rushed back to the emergency room of Mercy with intense abdominal pains and severe cramping in her legs. Again, Lucy spoke to Carlyle insisting they run tests.
"Mike Carlyle, I cannot believe what you're doing! You're killing my sister!"
"Lucy, Heather is just having a few problems, I have given her some pain killers and I am going to send her home! I don't think she wants to be cooped up in this hospital, do you?" and he said nothing more.
"Much patients?" Lucy asked, eyeing the board.
"Not many," Haleh replied.
"Good," Lucy sighed.
"You aren't running off again, are you?" Carol asked, "Why do you take so much time off?"
"That is none of your business," Lucy said, "And I'm actually staying in the hospital this time." And with that, she turned around, walked into an empty exam room and locked the door.
"There's something wrong with that," Elizabeth said when she heard the door slam.
"Yeah, she didn't drag Carter in there with her," Chuny grinned.
Lucy curled up in the corner of the room and hugged her knees to her chest, trying to make herself as small as possible; trying to make herself as small as she felt. She felt helpless. Her mother was right, it would be better to get another doctor, but for some reason, no one was taking action. Maybe it was a good idea to move Heather to County. Lucy could keep a closer eye on things. But what would people say? Why was she so worried about what people thought? She knew that probably at this very moment, they were already starting rumors about why she had missed so much work. But Heather was her sister, and though Heather tried to be strong, Lucy knew that the disease was stronger. And Lucy didn't want her friends to watch Heather die.
"WHAT?" She screamed aloud. Her breath picked up speed as she realized what she had just thought in her head. She shook her head, "No, no, Heather's not going to die. Heather will be happy again and finish college and be my sister again. We will stay up all night talking like we used to. We will talk about guys and gossip and all that stuff. She'll be my best friend again, she will! Heather will be well again..." there were tears in her eyes and soon, she let them flow. She cried a river and she felt as though she stayed there for hours. And maybe she had. She was falling. Falling deeper than she had ever fallen. But this time, her sister wasn't there to catch her or help her up. Her best friend, her sister, was sick, and she couldn't do anything. Could she? Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and it brought Lucy back to reality.
"Lucy?" Kerry called.
"What?" Lucy tried to keep her voice steady.
"Are you alright?"
"I'm fine!" she called.
"Open the door, Lucy," Kerry told her, gently. Lucy stood up on shaking legs and for a minute, she doubted that they would support her, but she walked steadily to the door, unlocked it, and opened it a crack so she could look out with one red, puffy eye. She saw a small crowd outside the door; Mark, Peter, Kerry, and Carter were there. Lucy shut the door again. Kerry just knocked once more.
"Lucy, come out, you've been in there a while and we would like to use that exam room."
"No," Lucy said simply.
"Lucy, come out, please," Carter urged.
"No. I want to stay here. I want to die here."
"Are you sure you want to lock yourself in an exam room and die?" Mark asked.
"A cave would have been nicer," Lucy mumbled.
"Lucy, I want to talk to you. Will you talk to me, Lucy?" Kerry tried again. There was a pause and then Lucy opened the door a bit again.
"OK," she whispered.
"Come out, Lucy, I'll talk to you."
"With them?"
"Alone, if that's more comfortable," Kerry told her. Lucy opened the door more. Her hair was a mess and her face was red and tearstained. Kerry reached out her hand and took Lucy's.
"Come on," she urged and drew Lucy out of the exam room, leading her to the lounge. It was empty and Kerry closed the door. She sat Lucy on the couch.
"Lucy, I know what's going on in your family right now. I know about your sister."
"You do?"
"Yes. Why don't you bring her here, to County?" everyone was saying that. Lucy knew why. Everyone was saying that because it was a good idea, the right thing to do. Then why was Lucy the only one who didn't want to do it? Lucy, the one who wanted Heather back the most?
"I- I don't think-"
"It's up to you, Lucy, but from what I hear, you aren't too satisfied with the way they are treating her illness over at Mercy?"
"I can just get another doctor. It's no trouble."
"I know this must be hard, Lucy, but if you could please refrain from locking yourself in exam rooms, I would be very much appreciative," Kerry gave her a warm smile which brought a small smile to Lucy's poor red face.
"I won't," Lucy promised.
"It can't be that bad, Lucy. I called Mercy, they thought she was doing fine," Lucy's eyes flared with anger and Kerry knew she had said something wrong. But before Lucy could say anything, her phone rang.
"Lucy," she identified herself. There was a moment of silence as Lucy let out a worried sigh, "OK, Mom, I'm coming."
TBC ASAP!
Summary: Lucy's crisis turns into the most traumatic thing in her life (before Valentine's day)
A/N: I found that Kellie Martin's sister, died of Lupus about a year ago. This is dedicated to her and the Martin family. The poem, also mine, was written for Kellie and Heather Martin.
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She dried your tears
With gentle care
Whenever you needed her
She was always there
Through the laughter
Through the tears
Together you made it through
Those awful years
And the thing
You remember most
Was her gentle smile
But even that memory's a ghost
When she left
So did a part of you
'She was rock of the family'
But she still lives inside of you
And the thing you remember
All the while
Was her laughter
And her sweet smile
And she'd want you to remember
Her for who she was
She loves you still
And you love her always
So the thing you will always remember
Is the way she made you smile
With her laughter, with her kindness
And with her loving smile.
"My sister, Heather, and I have always been best friends. I saw her take her first step, and she watched me ride a bike for the first time. We waited together on the corner after school for the ice cream man. I never missed her basketball games, and she always watched the shows I worked on. We went through our parents' divorce, and after that we thought we could get through anything, as long as we were together. For 19 years, I watched my little sister, Heather, grow into a beautiful woman. I was there when she was born, and I was there when she died." ~ Kellie Martin.
"Look, Carter! Frankly, I don't give a damn about- hold on!" Lucy sighed and reluctantly answered her phone, "Lucy Knight," from there on, everything seemed to go in slow motion. Carter watched, curiously as Lucy's blue, frustrated eyes grew to at least twice their normal size and filled with horror. The phone seemed to fall slowly from her fingers to the floor as she gasped. Everything sped up as Lucy dived for her phone again.
"Yes, yes, I'm here, Mom. I- I'll be right there," she whispered, still sitting on the floor, her long blond hair all over her face. She blew a strand away from her eyes and stood up to face Carter again, "There's... A family emergency. I... I have to go," she said, very quietly. She seemed to have forgotten the fight she and Carter had just been having. And without waiting for an answer, she walked swiftly past him, her eyes glazed over as if she were in a trance. She kept shaking her head and soon, she broke into a run and disappeared out the ambulance bay doors.
"Where's she going?" Dave asked as he watched her leave.
"Dunno. Said it was a family emergency."
"Eh, that's what they all say. I surprised you let her go," Dave shrugged.
"I didn't," Carter whispered, still watching after her, "She wouldn't let me reply."
"Look, that's no flue, doctor," Lucy shook her head at the man.
"Heather will be fine, Lucy! I've prescribed her some Compazine. She will recover in a few days."
"Can't you see what's happening?" Lucy demanded, "My sister has abdominal pain, fever, insomnia *and* nausea! No anti-nausea medication will make all that go away!"
"Lucy you are overreacting! You are just a young med. student! I am an actual doctor!" he told her.
"Are you discriminating against me because of my rank, Dr. Carlyle? Because I know just as much about medicine as you do," Lucy was mad.
"Yelling at me won't help to get your sister better! Now, I don't know why your mother called you, but you can go back to work."
"She called *me* because she doesn't trust *you!* She wants me to look at Heather-"
"And I find that unnecessary. If her condition worsens, then maybe you should look at her."
"I am going in to see my sister now!" Lucy told him and walked past him into the exam room.
"Hey," her sister smiled weakly. Lucy loved it when she smiled. It always cheered her up.
"Hi, Heather."
"They say it's just the flue," she was being strong, though Lucy could tell it was an act. Heather didn't believe the doctor either.
"Yeah," Lucy smiled back at her sister, "Just the flue."
Lucy was up with Heather all night in Heather's room laughing and exchanging stories.
"I miss this," Heather told Lucy, honestly.
"So do I," Lucy replied, "We used to do this all the time. I remember, whenever I had a nightmare, it was your bed I climbed into, not Mom's. Because, although you are younger than me, you were never afraid of anything. Ever. And you always seemed like you were older than me."
"And when you couldn't get back to sleep, I'd stay up with you and we'd tell jokes and things all night long. Like we're doing now," Heather sighed. Her voice was sad and weak, the usual joyful, fun tone almost out of it completely.
"I'm really sorry you can't get to sleep, Heather," Lucy sighed, "You need your rest. We shouldn't be up this late with you sick and all. The... Flue can be pretty bad," Lucy called it the flue. She knew it wasn't the flue, but she couldn't run any tests to find out what it really was and she knew Dr. Carlyle wouldn't listen to her. Carlyle disliked Lucy as much as Lucy disliked him.
"I know, I just can't, Lucy. You don't understand," Heather's voice was painful, "I always have this pain, whether it be my stomach or my head. And I'm always so hot and sticky. And when I do get to sleep, it's not usually very restful. And I'll just get up an hour later to puke!" tears began to stream down Heather's face.
"I know, honey, I know," Lucy said, taking her sister in her arms, "Everything will be OK, Heather, I promise. We'll get through this, just like we got through everything else."
Hand on her head, Lucy entered the ER again. She pushed back her hair, wearily. She let out a little moan as she crossed her arms on the admit desk and laid her head on them.
"Hey, I think Lucy's dead," Jerry whispered.
"Lucy, get up. You don't want Carter to find you like that, do you?" Chuny shook her.
"No, Mom, I don't wanna go to school today..."
"She's out," Chuny told Jerry.
"Wonder why she's so tired. It's not like she was on yesterday," Jerry lifted Lucy's wrist, then let it drop to the desk again.
"Yeah, she took some time off. Family thing, I think she said," Dave said as he passed.
"What family thing?" Randi's interest got the better of her, "Did someone die or something?"
"Hey, how should I know?" Dave asked, "I don't keep track of Lucy 24/7!"
"Maybe you should! What's she doing sleeping?"
"Uh oh," Chuny muttered as Carter saw Lucy asleep, "OK, rise and shine!" he clapped his hands but she did nothing. He looked at her, puzzled.
"She's dead!" Jerry said again, "I said that the first time she collapsed."
"OK, Luce, you have a job to do, remember? Hm..." Carter thought, "Maybe she should take the day off today. She could be sick."
"But she took yesterday off! And the day before that!" Chuny told him, "Remember?"
"Yeah, but whatever she did yesterday, it doesn't look like she recovered." Carter answered.
"It's nothing a little coffee can't cure!" Jerry said.
"No... No more coffee..." Lucy muttered.
"OK, girl, it's about time!" Carter sighed as Lucy began to stir and open her eyes slightly. She blinked a couple times then sat straight up, eyes wide open.
"Carter!" she declared, shocked, "I- I'm sorry, I didn't get a whole lot of sleep for the past few days. I was just a little tired, that's all!"
"Whoa, Lucy, calm down!" Carter grabbed her shoulders, "It's OK! We all fall asleep sometimes during our shifts! Relax!"
"I can't!" Lucy moaned. She blinked, "I mean, sure, I can relax!"
"Luce, is something wrong?" Carter asked, noticing something in Lucy's voice.
"You know me too well," she muttered.
"What?"
"Nothing."
"Hey Lucy!" Randi called. Lucy spun around.
"What?"
"What were you doing the past few days?"
"I went to see my sister," Lucy shouted, "Is that a problem?" Elizabeth stopped, while passing and hearing Lucy's screams. Lucy let out a frustrated sigh, picked up a chart without seeing it, and walked away.
"Gee, I was just curious. A simple 'nothing,' would have suffice."
"Hm..." Elizabeth said, puzzled.
"Nausea and abdominal,"-yawn-"pain, huh?"
"And she won't sleep," the woman added. Lucy looked past her to the girl on the bed and nodded.
"We can run some tests. Does she have a fever?"
"Sometimes," Lucy's phone was ringing again. Elizabeth looked in as she passed and saw Lucy answer the phone.
"Lucy," Lucy said. There was someone speaking on the other end. Lucy nodded, "I'll be right there," she hung up, "Mrs. Bartlet, I'm afraid I have to go. Dr. Carter will take it from here," Lucy left the room. As she did, she passed Elizabeth and muttered a quick hi.
"Lucy, is there something wrong?" Elizabeth asked, but Lucy shook her head.
"But tell Carter that I'll be out for an hour or two. I'd forgotten my aunt's funeral was today," Lucy told her and left.
"Didn't know you had an aunt, Lucy," Elizabeth sighed.
Lucy held her sister's hand, sitting beside her bed in Mercy. Soon, Dr. Carlyle entered.
"What did you give her?" she demanded.
"I told you, we only put her on some anti-nausea medication. She had a violent allergic reaction to it."
"Sure," Lucy muttered with bitterness.
"Lucy, your sister began to convulse and her eyes rolled back into her sockets. She was not well, but it was just allergies, she will be fine!"
"How do you know?"
"It's just the flue!"
"You keep saying that!" Lucy yelled, standing up angrily.
"Calm down, Miss. Knight!" Carlyle tried to tell her.
"No, I will not calm down! Any one can see that my sister is severely ill! And if you don't run any tests on her, I'll do it myself!"
"Maybe in the future if she shows further signs of illness, but I don't think that's necessary right now. It's a waste of time and money, Miss. Knight, and I will not have that!" Just then, her mother entered. Lucy sat back down in her chair.
"Lucy..." She sighed, tears in her eyes. Dr. Carlyle checked on Heather and left.
"Hi mom," Lucy smiled weakly.
"Lucy, honey... I want to move her to County," Barbara Knight told her first born. Lucy's mouth dropped.
"County? As in Cook County General Hospital? The one I work at?" she asked. Barbara nodded. Lucy looked at her sister and squeezed her hand tighter.
"Why, Mom?"
"Then you could treat her and I wouldn't have to pull you away from work because you'd be working. I'd pay you."
"But she's going home, isn't she?" Barbara shook her head.
"Well, they're discharging her, but I want her to be in a hospital, incase something else happens."
"Mom, nothing else will happen!" Lucy stood up, "Heather will be perfectly fine! I promise!" but even Lucy herself wasn't sure she could keep that promise. Why was she telling her mother this when she had just fought with Heather's doctor telling him that Heather was not fine? She didn't know right then. When brought to the hospital that night, Heather had only been treated for the convulsions and nothing else. Barbara sighed.
"Fine, I will take her home."
"If anything else does happen, call me," Lucy told her, and left.
Heather didn't get better after that. She just got worse. Soon, Heather stopped eating. She had stiff joints, fatigue, and intense muscle pain as well. She was so weak, she couldn't hold a spoon. Later, she couldn't eat because she had sores in her mouth, and it hurt her too much. Two nights later, she was rushed back to the emergency room of Mercy with intense abdominal pains and severe cramping in her legs. Again, Lucy spoke to Carlyle insisting they run tests.
"Mike Carlyle, I cannot believe what you're doing! You're killing my sister!"
"Lucy, Heather is just having a few problems, I have given her some pain killers and I am going to send her home! I don't think she wants to be cooped up in this hospital, do you?" and he said nothing more.
"Much patients?" Lucy asked, eyeing the board.
"Not many," Haleh replied.
"Good," Lucy sighed.
"You aren't running off again, are you?" Carol asked, "Why do you take so much time off?"
"That is none of your business," Lucy said, "And I'm actually staying in the hospital this time." And with that, she turned around, walked into an empty exam room and locked the door.
"There's something wrong with that," Elizabeth said when she heard the door slam.
"Yeah, she didn't drag Carter in there with her," Chuny grinned.
Lucy curled up in the corner of the room and hugged her knees to her chest, trying to make herself as small as possible; trying to make herself as small as she felt. She felt helpless. Her mother was right, it would be better to get another doctor, but for some reason, no one was taking action. Maybe it was a good idea to move Heather to County. Lucy could keep a closer eye on things. But what would people say? Why was she so worried about what people thought? She knew that probably at this very moment, they were already starting rumors about why she had missed so much work. But Heather was her sister, and though Heather tried to be strong, Lucy knew that the disease was stronger. And Lucy didn't want her friends to watch Heather die.
"WHAT?" She screamed aloud. Her breath picked up speed as she realized what she had just thought in her head. She shook her head, "No, no, Heather's not going to die. Heather will be happy again and finish college and be my sister again. We will stay up all night talking like we used to. We will talk about guys and gossip and all that stuff. She'll be my best friend again, she will! Heather will be well again..." there were tears in her eyes and soon, she let them flow. She cried a river and she felt as though she stayed there for hours. And maybe she had. She was falling. Falling deeper than she had ever fallen. But this time, her sister wasn't there to catch her or help her up. Her best friend, her sister, was sick, and she couldn't do anything. Could she? Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and it brought Lucy back to reality.
"Lucy?" Kerry called.
"What?" Lucy tried to keep her voice steady.
"Are you alright?"
"I'm fine!" she called.
"Open the door, Lucy," Kerry told her, gently. Lucy stood up on shaking legs and for a minute, she doubted that they would support her, but she walked steadily to the door, unlocked it, and opened it a crack so she could look out with one red, puffy eye. She saw a small crowd outside the door; Mark, Peter, Kerry, and Carter were there. Lucy shut the door again. Kerry just knocked once more.
"Lucy, come out, you've been in there a while and we would like to use that exam room."
"No," Lucy said simply.
"Lucy, come out, please," Carter urged.
"No. I want to stay here. I want to die here."
"Are you sure you want to lock yourself in an exam room and die?" Mark asked.
"A cave would have been nicer," Lucy mumbled.
"Lucy, I want to talk to you. Will you talk to me, Lucy?" Kerry tried again. There was a pause and then Lucy opened the door a bit again.
"OK," she whispered.
"Come out, Lucy, I'll talk to you."
"With them?"
"Alone, if that's more comfortable," Kerry told her. Lucy opened the door more. Her hair was a mess and her face was red and tearstained. Kerry reached out her hand and took Lucy's.
"Come on," she urged and drew Lucy out of the exam room, leading her to the lounge. It was empty and Kerry closed the door. She sat Lucy on the couch.
"Lucy, I know what's going on in your family right now. I know about your sister."
"You do?"
"Yes. Why don't you bring her here, to County?" everyone was saying that. Lucy knew why. Everyone was saying that because it was a good idea, the right thing to do. Then why was Lucy the only one who didn't want to do it? Lucy, the one who wanted Heather back the most?
"I- I don't think-"
"It's up to you, Lucy, but from what I hear, you aren't too satisfied with the way they are treating her illness over at Mercy?"
"I can just get another doctor. It's no trouble."
"I know this must be hard, Lucy, but if you could please refrain from locking yourself in exam rooms, I would be very much appreciative," Kerry gave her a warm smile which brought a small smile to Lucy's poor red face.
"I won't," Lucy promised.
"It can't be that bad, Lucy. I called Mercy, they thought she was doing fine," Lucy's eyes flared with anger and Kerry knew she had said something wrong. But before Lucy could say anything, her phone rang.
"Lucy," she identified herself. There was a moment of silence as Lucy let out a worried sigh, "OK, Mom, I'm coming."
TBC ASAP!