Hehehe…I'm so evil…okay, here's Chapter Three! This is SOOO sad!!! I can't believe I just wrote this! That I would do this! NOOOOOOO!
Chapter Three
Alone. Alone, and afraid, and…alone.
This was what I felt. Every day of my life. Parents who ignored me. Kids who rejected me. Teachers who refused to acknowledge me.
Not a friend in the world. Love was a fairy tale I'd grown out of long ago. Sometimes you just have to accept that life can't always be full of fantasies and dreams. Soon enough, you have to wake up.
I was Helga Pataki. The shy, quiet, mysterious, lonely girl, just crying out for a little affection, for a little attention. But did I ever find it? No.
I was the girl that geeks felt sorry for. The girl popular kids looked down on and looked through, and normal kids made fun of.
That was me. Helga G. Pataki. Doomed to be forever alone.
A shadow fell upon me. I didn't even look up. I knew who it was.
In a quiet, emotionless tone, I spoke. The words came out in a stutter, because I'm not used to speaking. When you don't talk much, the times you do speak are awkward. Which makes it that much harder to say anything at all in the first place.
"Hey, Brainy," I said softly.
Brainy was…my friend. I suppose. My admirer, yes, but I had no one else in the world, so I might as well consider him my friend. At least I wasn't so alone when he was around.
Brainy likes me likes me, but I just don't feel that way about him. I've apologized to him countless times, but my feelings aren't something I can really control. I can't force myself to love him. I'd be living a lie.
So, he's just my friend. He can be kind of creepy sometimes, but I live with it. Brainy has a hard time talking, too--he wheezes a lot, so he tends to keep to himself a lot. When he does talk, he doesn't say much. I can understand how he feels, because I can relate more to how he feels. Probably why we make such good friends.
There's this kid in my class named Arnold. He never talks to me, and barely even notices I exist. I know nothing about him, except I guess he's a dreamer. And he has a football head.
He seems nice enough. That is, to the other kids. He helps a lot of people out. He seems intent on "doing the right thing".
And yet, has he ever once helped me? No. Has he ever gone out of his way to say hi? No. I don't really know why, either. It's like there's a wall between us, like he never even sees me when I'm right there in front of him.
If I weren't so shy, I could probably talk to him. I could probably be his friend. But I'm just too quiet, and he's too ignorant, and that's how it is.
There's this girl named Phoebe. She's really smart, almost a know-it-all, but she's really shy and modest about it most of the time. Her intelligence intimidates me. If she weren't so smart, maybe I wouldn't feel so inferior to her. I could see a friendship between us, I guess--but it would just be too weird.
Anyway, I don't need friends. I don't need anyone. I'm doing fine alone. As long as everyone thinks I'm invisible, I'll be saved of heartache.
Except for one slight fallback. Now my heart aches all the time.
I remember my first day of preschool. It had been raining, and my parents were ignoring me and giving Olga all of their love and attention. I had to walk to school, by myself, and in the process I lost my lunch box to a dog and got splashed by mud.
I remember meeting Arnold for the first time. Or, well, almost meeting him. He had an umbrella with him, and was getting out of his car and being escorted by his grandpa to the preschool. And he looked at me. There was a weird feeling I got at that moment, I don't know how to describe it.
Like the entire universe was being turned upside down. Like life seized to exist. Like time was being toyed with, and there was nothing I could do to prevent this catastrophe.
I had shivered, and shrugged the feeling off, dragging myself into the school.
Alone.
Chapter Three
Alone. Alone, and afraid, and…alone.
This was what I felt. Every day of my life. Parents who ignored me. Kids who rejected me. Teachers who refused to acknowledge me.
Not a friend in the world. Love was a fairy tale I'd grown out of long ago. Sometimes you just have to accept that life can't always be full of fantasies and dreams. Soon enough, you have to wake up.
I was Helga Pataki. The shy, quiet, mysterious, lonely girl, just crying out for a little affection, for a little attention. But did I ever find it? No.
I was the girl that geeks felt sorry for. The girl popular kids looked down on and looked through, and normal kids made fun of.
That was me. Helga G. Pataki. Doomed to be forever alone.
A shadow fell upon me. I didn't even look up. I knew who it was.
In a quiet, emotionless tone, I spoke. The words came out in a stutter, because I'm not used to speaking. When you don't talk much, the times you do speak are awkward. Which makes it that much harder to say anything at all in the first place.
"Hey, Brainy," I said softly.
Brainy was…my friend. I suppose. My admirer, yes, but I had no one else in the world, so I might as well consider him my friend. At least I wasn't so alone when he was around.
Brainy likes me likes me, but I just don't feel that way about him. I've apologized to him countless times, but my feelings aren't something I can really control. I can't force myself to love him. I'd be living a lie.
So, he's just my friend. He can be kind of creepy sometimes, but I live with it. Brainy has a hard time talking, too--he wheezes a lot, so he tends to keep to himself a lot. When he does talk, he doesn't say much. I can understand how he feels, because I can relate more to how he feels. Probably why we make such good friends.
There's this kid in my class named Arnold. He never talks to me, and barely even notices I exist. I know nothing about him, except I guess he's a dreamer. And he has a football head.
He seems nice enough. That is, to the other kids. He helps a lot of people out. He seems intent on "doing the right thing".
And yet, has he ever once helped me? No. Has he ever gone out of his way to say hi? No. I don't really know why, either. It's like there's a wall between us, like he never even sees me when I'm right there in front of him.
If I weren't so shy, I could probably talk to him. I could probably be his friend. But I'm just too quiet, and he's too ignorant, and that's how it is.
There's this girl named Phoebe. She's really smart, almost a know-it-all, but she's really shy and modest about it most of the time. Her intelligence intimidates me. If she weren't so smart, maybe I wouldn't feel so inferior to her. I could see a friendship between us, I guess--but it would just be too weird.
Anyway, I don't need friends. I don't need anyone. I'm doing fine alone. As long as everyone thinks I'm invisible, I'll be saved of heartache.
Except for one slight fallback. Now my heart aches all the time.
I remember my first day of preschool. It had been raining, and my parents were ignoring me and giving Olga all of their love and attention. I had to walk to school, by myself, and in the process I lost my lunch box to a dog and got splashed by mud.
I remember meeting Arnold for the first time. Or, well, almost meeting him. He had an umbrella with him, and was getting out of his car and being escorted by his grandpa to the preschool. And he looked at me. There was a weird feeling I got at that moment, I don't know how to describe it.
Like the entire universe was being turned upside down. Like life seized to exist. Like time was being toyed with, and there was nothing I could do to prevent this catastrophe.
I had shivered, and shrugged the feeling off, dragging myself into the school.
Alone.