Space War Part Two
Fry blinked and tried to focus on the galaxy that
lay before him. He was the captain of the Planet Express ship, the most
prestigious vessel in the universe. His girlfriend had complete trust in his
capability for his newfound responsibility, and his friends were honored to
accompany him and eager to service him.
Right. Whatever. Fry didn't even know what half
those words meant; they just ran through his foggy mind. He looked at the
clock: 2 AM. He looked at Amy: asleep. He didn't even bother with Bender,
because he knew what he was doing. This time of day was usually reserved for
Bender's porno reading, and Fry knew better than to bother him. Instead, he put
the wheel on auto-steer and groggily sat back in the chair. Leela's wrist thingy
was there, just in case. Fry grinned to himself. In case he killed anybody and
needed help. Leela knew him well… Fry sighed and tapped his fingers on the
armrest. Then he fell out of the chair. Seriously.
Amy woke up with a start. She looked up from her spot
on the floor and groaned. "Wha time it is..?"
"I assume, Peasant Amy, that you're wondering what
time it is."
"And I assume, stupid freak, that you can't
tell time."
Fry was very offended, as he had learned at age
thirteen to tell time. He mumbled to himself and told her the time.
Amy sighed. "And we haven't crashed yet?"
"Geez Amy, have some faith in me." Fry nervously
wondered why they hadn't crashed. He checked the engine and came back
into the front of the ship. Bender yawned and closed his magazine. Fry caught a
glimpse of the nude fembots and grimaced. That just wasn't his thing.
"Okay fleshbags, where are we?"
Fry turned to his best friend. "Somewhere near
Uranus." He caught his mistake a split second before Bender did. "I mean,
somewhere near some planet whose name doesn't resemble yucky things."
"Hmm… we might be in a high gravity region, "Amy
reported. " The ship is getting pulled down a little."
Fry sat down in the chair, which already had a
slight mark from his butt. 2:06 AM. He wondered how Leela was. She was going
insane because of the war. Maybe if I do this mission right, he thought, she
won't be as discouraged.
Just then, the alarm went off.
"Damn it," Fry said. "What's up?"
"I… don't know. There's a tiny planet or something
over there… you see it?"
Fry leaned towards the window. "Yeah, I see it. I
think it's coming over to say hi. Let's wave, guys!"
BOOM.
Something heavy landed on the bottom of the ship.
In less than one second, the ship was seemingly sucked onto the planet. Or… was
it a planet?
No. It was a Caalon base.
Fry groaned and sat up. There were about thirty
people standing around him, and all of them had one normal sized head and one
gross miniature head. They glared at the three.
A tall guy in a green suit asked, "Who are you?"
Bender was very offended. "We're innocent
bystanders, who the hell are you?"
"Innocent bystanders, huh? What are you planning
to do with this box of weaponry?"
"G'uh," said Amy. "We're delivering it to angry
people who want to kill other angry people in a childish manner."
"That's us! So you're the delivery
company."
Amy elbowed Fry. "You didn't even see this place
till I pointed it out."
"Yeah you may have pointed it out, but your nail
polish is totally faded." He shrugged her hand away and addressed a guy near
him. "You gonna let us go now?"
Came the reluctant reply, "I guess so."
They got to their feet, unsteadily because the
whole base seemed to be tilted on its axis. Bender handed the crate over.
"Great. It's delivered. Can we go yet?"
Amy frowned uncertainly. "What's that noise?"
Everyone grew quiet; a buzzing sound was gradually fading as it traveled in the
other direction.
"That's a bomber. Heading for the main base on
Earth."
Fry immediately thought of Leela. He wished she
were here… then he wouldn't have such an ominous feeling in the pit of his
stomach. As if Bender felt it too, he looked at Fry. "It's not from my salad,"
he said defensively.
Setting: Our beloved Planet Express. Leela has
calmed down considerably (thank God.) She and Dr. Zoidberg are in the lounge
with the news on in the background. They're playing cards.
Zoidberg: Go jellyfish.
Leela(uncomfortably): Uh, that's go fish.
Zoidberg: My cards, my rules!
Beyond the lounge, the Professor paced in the
hall. Nibbler was frantically trying not to get stepped on. He managed to get
past his shuffling feet and scamper into Leela's lap. Leela sighed. Fry,
Bender, and Amy had been gone for two days. That wasn't too abnormal, but she…
well, she missed Fry. She forgot that she didn't have to hide her feelings
anymore.
Amy had told everyone anyway.
Zoidberg: Hello? Your turn.
Leela: Oh, right. Got any threes?
Zoidberg: And what is that supposed to
mean??
That's gonna be one long card game.
Setting: The ship. Or what's left of the ship.
Fry shoved Amy out of the way.
Fry: I can't quite see the controls with you
standing there.
Amy: Fry, can you even read the controls?
Do you know how to work them? What they mean?
Fry(gasps): Are you doubting my expertise? This
ship is over my authority!
Amy: Heh. Don't you mean under your authority?
Fry: Grrr.
Bender: I don't mean to interrupt, even thought I
really do, but we're heading in the wrong direction.
Fry(whining): Bender! She's kicking me!
Bender: Ah, she's just flirting with you, fleshwad.
Amy: I am not! (she proceeds to kick
Bender)
Bender: Don't make me rough you up. You're a thin
line away from kissin' my shiny metal ass.
Fry secretly wished Amy would get the hell back
over there and help him. Better yet, Leela. She would definitely know what to
do. He knew he shouldn't be captain of a delivery ship, not during a war. And
what the… something was hurtling towards the ship. It was small and grayish…
humming… he felt the sick feeling return to his stomach. It was a missile.
An
advanced, sonic, 3006 missile.
Fry tried
to form a word, but he could only whimper. Giving up on his voice, he
frantically pushed random buttons. The … red one… no, wait… the blue one. The
round one on the top. He wasn't paying attention when the Professor showed him
the control panel because honestly, he couldn't have cared less. But that was
then; this was a moment between life or death. The missile was a few narrow
feet away. Fry pushed one last button. Nothing happened. He closed his eyes and
took a deep breath. When he couldn't hold it anymore, he opened his eyes just
the tiniest bit.
The missile was gone.
Fry gaped at the space in front of him; the
immense dark outer space where the missile was a second ago.
"What… happened?"
Amy rolled her eyes. "I saved your ass. While you
were standing there in disbelief that there was a missile being shot at us
during a war, me and Bender unloaded a chunk of dark matter from the
ship."
Fry's head was spinning. "Dark matter? Why?"
"Because, genius," Bender replied, "when it comes
in contact with those things, it destroys them."
"But…" Fry sputtered. "But dark matter weighs a
ton."
"Yeah well, our lives are kinda important," Amy
scoffed. She looked relieved that Fry was okay.
Bender was unusually considerate. "You okay, buddy?"
Fry frowned. "What the hell's going on? You guys
saved my life!"
To his total surprise, Amy stepped forward and
hugged him tightly. "You're more important than you think." She paused.
"Stupid."
"What… are you talking about?"
"Nothing! Geez! Let's get back to Earth."
Setting: Two hours later- Mars time. Earth time,
six hours later. The small crew drags themselves off the ship and into the
lounge.
Fry collapsed onto the couch. Leela came in from
the kitchen and grinned when she saw him.
Leela: You're finally back!
Fry(smiling): Yup.
Leela(sitting next to him): Not a momemt too soon.
Dr. Zoidberg is acting stranger than usual.
Zoidberg comes in the lounge holding a large sign
that reads, 'equal rights for crayfish!' He glares at the two.
Leela: Oh, for God's sake.
Zoidberg(aggrivated): That's right, humans.
I'm taking a stand against all the homosapiens who think they're better than
us. Abuse us. Frighten us. Step on us.
Fry: Zoidberg, we've never stepped on you. You
know that!
Leela: He's been impossible for the last three
days.
They watch as he stomps out of the room, leaving a
slight trail of goo behind.
Leela: That'll wash out.
Fry: Don't worry about it. (pauses) You've had
enough to worry about. Are you okay?
Leela(a little embarrassed): I'm fine. I
overreacted to everything. This war will be over soon and all my frriends and
memories will still be here. Everything's okay.
Fry(warily): I… wouldn't say that.
Leela: What do you mean??
Fry: Well… ya know, when you're in space, you see
things…
Leela(rolling her eye): I know. What did
you see?
Fry: I think maybe there's gonna be a battle on
Earth. Really soon.
Leela: But why would there be? I mean, why not on
one of the planets involved?
Fry: Geez, I dunno! All I know is that we saw a ship
heading for Earth.
Leela(calmly, eye narrowed): Can I get a second
opinion?
Fry(surprised): You… don't believe me?
Leela: I didn't say that. Where's Bender?
Fry: BENDER?
Leela: Just to make sure, Fry.
She kisses him on the cheek.
Fry sighs and turns on the TV.
Setting: The basement of the PE building. Bender
is seen grudgingly handing Scruffy some money so as to get him out of the room.
He leaves and Bender turns back to Amy after making sure they're alone.
Bender(hesitantly): Okay mammal, what do you want?
Amy: You know what I want to talk to you about,
Bender.
Bender: Yeah I know. Don't give me that evil eye.
I don't want to be here. I'm gonna catch up with Scruffy and get drunk.
Amy: You just got drunk! You can't keep
avoiding this.
Bender(frowning):
Fry's too innocent and dumb to get tangled up in this. Why would you
want to do that to the little fleshbag?
Amy: It is so not my decision. I don't know
whose decision it was, but we have to talk about it. Besides Zoidberg, we're
the only ones who know.
Bender(lazily): Then go nag him about it.
Amy: He only knows because you wouldn't let him
play blernsball with you, remember? He was following us around?
Bender: I see. The robot gets the blame.
Amy: Ugh. Just listen, okay? Leela's on to this.
And knowing her and her awful taste in fashion, she'll find out soon if we
don't take the right precautions.
Bender: What does that have to do with her taste
in fashion?
Amy(snappily): Nothing! I'm just pointing it out.
Bender: … yeah. (sighs) I guess I have no choice.
Fine, here's my idea. Nibbler says there's a place near his planet that's safe
from all the battles over here because it's on an outer edge of the solar
system. It doesn't usually get involved in anything this far away, except the
occasional parking ticket.
Amy: I don't even want to understand that. But
anyway, that sounds like it'll work…… Dr. Zoidberg told me about a nebula field
that won't let Fry back into this quadrosphere.
Bender: If he likes it, then it must be crappy.
Amy: It'll have to do! We can't have Fry here, not
right now, and especially not right now. Come on, let's get going.
A troubled look comes over Bender's face, which
doesn't seem to fit him, since he's hardly ever worried about anyone- least of
all his best friend, who could easily be a total smart ass. But as he watches
Amy stomp out of the room, he sighs and resigns himself to the fact that
someone had to save Fry's ass and it would be him.
Setting: The planet Mystacia, the northernmost
point of the solar system and practically the polar opposite of Earth. Mystacia
hovers nearly eight million miles away from the nearest planet- Nibbler's home.
Dr. Zoidberg trudged out of the ship, dragging
along Fry, who was asleep in bubble wrap. Yep, bubble wrap. It was a vain
attempt to try and hide him from any identification without hurting him too
much. Amy's sleep-inducing herbs had done the job, too.
Bender winced as Amy called him.
Amy: Leela's on the video phone and she's asking
for you, surpisingly.
Bender snorted and headed to the video phone.
Leela greeted him.
Leela: Bender, I wanted to ask you about this. Fry
fed me some crap about a battle being planned for Earth. He said he has a bad
feeling in the pit of his stomach. I don't know if I should believe him since
he likes to joke around and take advantage of my fears and-
Bender: Yak yak yak. Look, if this is a girl
problem, lemme get Amy back in here.
Leela: No, I know how she gets if she's
interrupted on a delivery. Please Bender, just make a character judgement for
me. Fry's been acting really strange lately and it's creeping me out.
Bender: He's… been acting strange?
Leela: Well, yes. He gets near Nibbler and he
starts blabbering about some weird stuff; whenever I turn on the news, he gets
up and turns it off. He doesn't even change the channel! He's scaring me and
I'm feeling pretty vulnerable right now. So what do you think?
Bender thought. Suddenly it clicked and he quickly
switched off the videophone. He rushed back outside.
Bender: NOT good. Ah crap.
Amy(alarmed): What? What's wrong? Did your
antennae interfere with the videophone again and we're stuck with soap
operas???
Zoidberg: What's the matter with that?
Bender: Fry's SCAGS is malfunctioning.
Zoidberg: His what now?
Bender: You know.
Zoidberg stares at him, then turns to stare at
Amy, then resumes staring at Bender. Tumbleweed rolls by.
Bender: His Subconscious CryoAtomic Galactic
Surveillance program. It's the microscopic thingy Nibbler slipped in the
cryogenic chamber before the uh… accident.
Zoidberg: Ah! You mean the incident that wasn't
an accident.
Bender(groans): Yeah.
Zoidberg: So what does all this scientific blabber
mean?
Amy: It means that in a subconscious state , Fry
is sensing the trouble. That little part of him, way underneath his heartbeat
and his flabby skin, knows that they're gonna try and get him.
Zoidberg: Now I'm confused. Who exactly wants to
get him?
Amy(slightly annoyed): Anyone who can! Anyone who
knows who he is, and knows why Nibbler pushed him in that chamber in the first
place. He's the only real reason that Earth and hundreds of other planets in
the quadrosphere are still here. If the Plutonians or the Caalons get him,
they'll be stronger than all of us combined! And they know it.
Zoidberg: Interesting, interesting.
Fry is stretching, as the sleeping herbs begin to
wear off. He catches sight of them, and yawns.
Fry: Wut up, everybody.
Bender(quickly): Uh… whooo… you are dreeeaaaming…
uh… oooooo… see the lollipop trees? You're dreaming.
Fry: Oh yeah, those trees do like tast- hey! Wait
a minute. I'm awake. I think.
Zoidberg reaches down and pinches him.
Fry: OW!
Zoidberg(proudly): Ingenious, isn't it? Now you
know that you're awake.
Annoyed, Fry rubs his arm.
Fry: Where the hell are we? What's going on?
Amy(flatly): We're on a delivery. You fell asleep
as usual and we made the delivery.
Fry(yawning again): Okay, let's go. I wanna see
Leela.
Amy: Ha. Ha ha. Ya know what's funny about that?
One of us has to stay and serve time here for a little while and we volunteered
you.
Bender: Just because we love you.
Fry(groans): Come on. How come Zoidberg can't
stay? Nobody likes him.
Zoidberg: Hey now. Want another pinch?
Fry(after a pause): No…
Setting: Planet Express. Leela was flipping
through her Captain's Log, reading entries from their past missions. She found
an early one, from a few weeks after she'd gotten the job. There was a crude
drawing of a pointy-haired smiley face with a heart around it, at the top of
the page. Leela smiled to herself. It was Fry. When they had first met, she
couldn't help falling for his cute charm and his innocent stupidity. It wasn't
really like that now… she sighed. It always seemed like she was wishing for an
earlier time.
Nibbler came softly into the room and curled up on
her lap. He didn't tell her that he knew something she didn't. He didn't seem
wise at all, just comforting. Nibbler didn't make Leela feel that maybe she and
her boyfriend were involved in something much much bigger than a crappy
delivery company. And certainly there wasn't anything strange about this
creature who snuggled into the warmth of Leela's blanket. Right now, he made
her feel like there was going to be something to grab on to, to hold on to,
through this war; there had to be. That was what she needed.
