Never Leave Part 2




Author: Casandra
Email: rozwellrulz@aol.com- I know, my email addy is really cheesy, I was going thru one of my Roswell phases at the time LOL
Disclaimer: Do we really even need this anymore considering what happened back in May. Ok, just to be on the safe side. I of course own nothing having to do with Popular. It belongs solely to its respective owners, yada yada yada
Rating: Well it gets rather angsty, so for subject matter I'll say a very strong PG-13. But think more along the lines of PG-15 or 16 just in case. Just be forwarned..
Pairing: Sam/Brooke. Come on, is there really any other? Ok, yes I know, I know there is, just not in my little fanfic realm, hehe.
Summary: Well it's Post series finale. Oh I hate writing that, grr. What can I say, I'm not too original. Actually i put what I hope is a little bit of a differet spin on soem of the other ideas that 'Promblems' sparked. hehe, Just read it already!
Distribution: Sure, I'd love for anyone to have it. Just please let me know where it is so I shamelessly brag that someone posted my fic :)
Feedback: Does begging work for you? Cause I'll gladly get down on my hands and knees if thats what it takes. Ok, I'm pathetic, I know, but what can I say, I'm a sucker for feedback.
Author's Note: Well I know your probably getting sick of me already. Well this is my first try at slash fic, in fact I'm really rather new to the world of slash. But I felt so inspired by all the other great Sam/Brooke authors out there that I just had have a go at it. Fair warning, this is rather angsty. I have two different endings I wrote. So let me know which one you liked better. I can't seem to bring myself to try writing some smut yet, so you won't find any of that in here. Although another warning for you. It's beyond mushy in places, in fact its probably completely out of character, but I just can't seem to write anything but pure sap. Ok, well I'm sure you're sick of hearing bable on and on so.......

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Thoughts are in [ ]

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Brooke's POV



Brooke sat nervously awaiting Harrison's choice, knowing that it was about to change everything. Brooke knew that his choice would shatter her into a thousand pieces. She spared a glance over at Sam, who looked just as nervous as she felt. Brooke knew, without a shadow of a doubt now, that she could never share her feelings with Sam, her feelings for Sam. The past year had been a series of nightmares and near misses. Somwhere in the course of all the fighting with Sam, she had come to some harsh realizations. She was in love. She was gay. She loved Sam. In any particular order they scared her beyond comprehension.

She learned to accept that she was gay rather easily. Afterall, it wasn't so much about what sex you liked, it was who you loved and cared about, whatever packaging they happened to come in. The only nagging part was the ramifications she would face at school and, more importantly, at home. She was scared to death about her parents reactions.

The love part was actually more terrifying than her new lifestyle choice. She was in love, in love with Sam. Sam her arch nemesis. Sam her soon to be step-sister. Sam her sparring partner. Sam, her whole world. [Man, am I a goner or what?] She had found that loving Sam was the most natural thing in the world to her. It was also the scariest thing that have ever happened to her.

When her mother had shown up last summer, she knew that it was going to cause a rift in the family. But the desire to actually get to know her mother was so overwhelming that she couldn't help herself. She saw how Sam beat herself up over the turmoil their family was in. So many nights she heard her softly sobbing in her room. And so many nights she wanted to rush through their adjoining bathroom and take the brunette in her arms, kissing away all the tears. When these thoughts crept their way into her already troubled mind she knew she loved Sam. She knew that she was, without a single shred of doubt, hopelessly, desperately, heart achingly in love with Samantha McPherson.

She tried and tried to suppress her feelings for the gorgeous brunette, she tried to forget the thoughts that had tortured her all summer long. She tried to ignore the flips her stomach did, and the way her pulse raced whenever Sam happened to spare her a smile. She tried not to think about the jolt of electricity that coursed through her body whenever they happened to briefly touch limbs. It was a painful existence, but Brooke knew it was the way things had to be.

When her mother had asked her to move back to San Fransisco with her, Brooke was completely torn. If she left L.A she could try and forget about her feelings for Sam. Without her living right down the hall, temptation and desire for her would most certainly wane. But moving to San Fransisco and being away from Sam would be more unbearable than anything Brooke could imagine. She was suffering because of her unrequited feelings, but she could at least be near Sam. She mulled over her decision again and again, finally coming to a painful conclusion. She would go to San Fransisco. She would leave her family and her friends. She would leave her life. She would leave her Sammy. [Geez, when did I get so possessive?]

Then Sam had surprised her, and gave her more than a little hope. At the party where she went to say goodbye to everyone, Sam asked her to stay. [Ok, so not in so many words, but hey] In the instant that Sam walked out of the shadows towards her Brooke knew she couldn't leave. She couldn't, she wouldn't, leave Sam, even if there was no chance of them ever being together. Brooke knew that she would be happy just to be living, sleeping 10 feet away from her love.

Later, during the whole class president fiasco, Brooke started to slip back into her old, bad ways. She wasn't eating, and when she did she binged and later expelled it all back out. Her father dragged her kicking and screaming back to the eating disorder clinic. Brooke passed each day hoping, that even by the slightest chance, Sam would come visit her. She never did. As much as Brooke knew it was stupid to think she would, it still hurt.

The harsh reality that Sam would never return her feelings once again slapped her in the face. So she tried once again to forget about her feelings. In a feable attempt to do so she turned to Harrison. The fact that Harrison also loved Sam made it seem a sort of poetic justice. As much as she willed herself to feel something for Sam's best friend more than friendship, she couldn't. [Can't force something that will never be there] Brooke knew that the heart never lied and her heart and soul would forever belong to Sam. There were no if's, and's or but's about it, just the clear cut truth. Brooke knew without a doubt in the moments after she took away Harrison's innocence, that she would never love anyone the way she loved Sam. She believed with every fiber of her being that Sam was her soulmate, gender be damned. [Geez McQueen, when did you become such a sap? Soulmates? Wait, who am I kidding, it's the whole truth.]

She was determined to never let Sam find out. As much as she loved her little budding journalist, she knew that if Sam found out it would be the end of her. Whether or not Sam would tell anyone was a moot point, because Brooke was long past the point of caring. But the thought of Sam knowing how she felt and trying to let her down gently, it was enough to kill her. She had almost died of the thought once, her depression adding to her eating disorder problem. The idea that Sam might hate her when she found out was also a thought that had crossed Brooke's mind, one that she had quickly chased away. Brooke knew that if she thought about it too much the fear would consume her. The idea that Sam could hate her gripped her with an almost paralyzing fear. [Not my Sammy, she could never hate me could she? Wait, what am I saying, as far as I know she already does. And look, there's that possesive thing again. Get a grip Brooke!]

Fighting with Sam over Harrison had made it safe for Brooke to be around her. It let her see Sam's fire, Sam's passion, without giving herself away. The last thing in the world Brooke wanted was Harrison. [But I can't really go and tell Sam that, can I?]

All the fighting, all the heartbreak, all the missed chances and miserable mistakes had led her to this moment. And she could feel with every pore in her body that things were about to go from bad to worse. Harrison's choice was going to change everything, no matter who he picked. [What if he picks me? I can't go out with him, not when I'm in love with Sammy!] She felt like the seconds were ticking away excrutiatingly slow and thought the cosmos were purposely torturing her. [Why would he pick me when he could have Sam? He can't be that stupid!] She tried to convince herself that there was no way Harrison would pick her over Sam, it was an impossibility. Just as fast as the relief set in it was replaced with complete and utter sadness. [He'll be getting what I've always dreamed of, he'll have Sam] The thought of Harrison holding Sam, kissing Sam, making love with Sam, was enough to make her blood boil to a temperature she didn't think possible. With every passing second Brooke's mind became more and more numbingly jumbled. Then Harrison cleared his throat.

"This is so hard. Someone's going to get hurt and I hate that more than anything,"

"Sam," he started again.

[Here it comes, the end of my life as I know it]

"As much as I care about you, I have to choose Brooke,"

[WHAT! No! He can't choose me!] Without another thought Brooke sprung up out of her chair and headed towards the exit. She was vaguely aware of someone trailing after her. As the warm May air hit her face she felt a set of gentle fingers grasp her arm.

"Brooke wait!"

[Sammy? Why did she come after me? Maybe.......... No, McQueen just your wishful thinking kicking in again]

"This isn't what I wanted,"she said in a voice laced thickly with regret and pain. [Huh? Why did I say that, she's bound to figure it out now!]

"This isn't what I wanted either! Brooke, just stop!"

[Well of course it isn't Sam. I just took away the guy you cared about, of course you're not happy about it. But that still doesn't explain why she followed me?] She grasped Sam's hand for a moment, just wanting to feel that jolt that always coursed through her when they touched. She took one more brief look at her and then proceeded out into the street.

Her mind was so cluttered with emotions that she didn't even notice the bright pair of halogen headlights staring her down. She was pulled out of her stupor by Sam's petrified scream.

"Brooke! No!"

In that moment of sheer terror, Brooke let out a spine tingling scream, laced with fear, and years worth of regret. Brooke knew that the impact the car would have on her body would be fatal. She knew that with as much certainty as she knew she loved Sam. So in the moments before her death she tried to think of the one thing that made her truly happy. Sam.

Memories, pictures, flashed over her mind at a jarringly fast pace. The first time she saw Sam in their kindergarten class. Sam beating up a bully that had stuffed Harrison into his locker. Sam moving into their house with her mother. Sam looking ever so adorable brushing her teeth in the morning. Sam and her watching her father's copy of Rumple Stiltskin Triple X. [Little did you know Sammy that I had that all set up!] Sam playing with McKenzie, cooing and tickling the newest addition to their crazy family.

Brooke was brought out of her trip down memory lane when she caught sight of Sam speeding towards her. [Don't you dare Sammy! I can't bear the thought of you coming to my grave with me! Please God, stop her!] But it was no use, Sam reached her in a second, and for a single fleeting moment, their eyes locked. Sam turned and put herself between the oncoming car and Brooke.

[Sammy! NO!]

TBC...... Hehe, left ya hanging again :)