(Send Me To Heaven
With Your Smile Epilogue)
Kisaragi Yuu
Do me a favor, send me to Heaven with your smile
I don't want tears to fall, I
hate to see you cry
Please... do not cry for me
My beloved friend this is the end,
my faith is to go soon
Please do not ask me why cause I don't have the answer
Ken opens his eyes to find he is crying on his bed—again. He looks to the outside world from his inner window and wipes up his tears. The sound of rain falling is heard, touching and dancing with the earthling's creatures. Maybe the fairies of the earth... who knows?
It has been a year since Ran
left him. But in no purpose, oh not in purpose, Ran loved Ken as much as Ken
loves him. But again, fate played with the two mere men and separated them
despotically. Without any mercy on their lost souls, it separated them apart.
Carried Ran to somewhere
unreachable for Ken. Somewhere called 'Heaven' or 'Hell' or whatever in the
world they named it.
Ken sighs with still tears
sliding down to his cheek.
It has been 364... or is it 365
days since he left. Ken was shattered, Ken was broken, Ken was... lost. He
doesn't know where did he run onto when he lost his hopes of life as Ran left.
But he does remember, he tried so many cruel attempts to kill himself, tried to
go for the warmness in Ran's hold and be with him forever.
If only his left friends didn't
stop him, he wonders.
If only Yohji and Omi didn't
wail at him, Omi even cried and Yohji was so desperately holding him. The big
hands of the playboy's never felt so warm. But... but still... there's no other
pair of hands that has the same warmness, same love, same feelings when they
touch with Ken's palms.
It's only with Ran's palms that
Ken could feel tingles all over him when they caressed.
But now, no matter how many
times he touch other's palms, no matter how many pail of tears he cries, no
matter how much lives he has to sacrifice, he's gone. Ran is gone. Forever. In
the deepness of wherever the hell it is dead people go to when they died. And
will never come back.
While he couldn't do anything about
it... the sick truth of life that made him so vulnerable, the truth that Ran is
dead and he couldn't do anything about it.
Nothing at all.
Not even to be with him when he
needed him. Not even to be with him when he passed away. Nor when he woke up in
the cold mornings, to find himself alone in the bed without Ken's presence with
him.
Did it hurt?
Sure it did. Maybe even more
when Ken is experiencing it now. He never knows. And he has no chance to get to
know better now.
He brushes his bangs out of his
sweating forehead, just to find it promptly fell down again and covers his
brown true orbs even more. He sighs more, the world's faintest smile attaches
to his burning lips.
"Saa... Ran... you are such a
masochist... abandoning me in this guilty and empty life when you..."
Ken pauses.
/...when you were dying.../
"...baka...baka...baka...baka...baaaaaka..."
He smiles to his own tease that
dedicated to Ran, and himself, the foolish him that even now, although he truly
hates to admit it, still believe that tomorrow Ran will come in his ugly orange
sweater, holding Ken's favorite purple gentians and say everything is a big
lie.
How he wishes those things were
just not a reverie.
Giving his poor, soaked eyes
another brush, he gets up from his slumber and heads to the exit.
The rain is pouring, the sky is
crying, and a certain man was found with his heart cut by the cynical fate...
again.
***
"Ohayou Ken-kun."
Ken nods to the youngest blonde
in the flowershop. Even the usually genki lad with oh-so-full-of-life eyes, has
no tune except of the monotone line on his voice squeaking weakly today. Ken
tries as hard as he could to smile for the blonde to see, but fails miserably.
"Daijobu ka, Kenken?"
Ah, even the playboy who usually
likes to tease him has no intention on joking around today. No girls, no
cigarettes, and even no pure playful smile on his lips. Ken starts to
feel uncomfortable.
This rainy day sure will get
lonely.
"Daijobu desu... doumo, ne?" Ken
smiles weakly to Yohji, letting the trained eyes of the ex-private investigator
to notice that he has been crying. Yohji chooses to keep quiet and doesn't
mention about it though.
"Do itashimashite." Replies the lanky blonde.
Ken smiles again. He starts to
tie up his apron on his back and waters the plant. Omi looks to Ken's back,
feeling that the brunette's back that once seen so strong, now feels so small
and vulnerable. He has to try so hard not to let tears fall down to his cheek,
knowing and understanding that crying will not do any better.
Yohji feels this sudden
heartbeat that sounds louder than any other waves in the air on his ears. He
looks to Omi, the younger blonde isn't looking at him, Yohji puts his palm on
his forehead, smiling faintly and also very slightly.
/This is getting me crazy.../
The three of them spends the
rest of the day without smiling or saying anything until the dark night comes
up and brinks them in.
***
Ken turns off the shower, letting the water to flow into the drench smoothly over his clothes, doesn't even care to take of his clothes. He stares at the tiled glass in front of him. The coldness starts to creep up on him, dragging him to the past memories of Ran.
It was the very right spot when
Ran once made love with Ken. Ken loved it, even until now... the warmness could
be still felt.
// "I love you Ran..."
Ran smiled to Ken as he kissed
his lover again, letting the brunette to blush. He trailed down the kisses down
to his throat as he held on tight. Skins that already drenched by the pure
water from the shower, for the second time met, full of passion and love.
Ken closed his eyes, feeling Ran
all over him, he smiled...
"I love you too Ken..."//
Ken bits his lips.
He turns on the shower to full
strength, doesn't even care when the violent rush of water tortures his flesh.
The lively coloured skin starts to grow reddish, screaming him to stop. He
doesn't care. Nor he cares when he hears the sound of the door being pounded
hastily. He refuses to hear.
He wants to die.
Until the door was tore down and
a certain oldest Weiß with the other ocean-eyed blonde rush in.
"KEN!!"
Yohji grabs the younger brunette
Weiß on his arms and pulls him off the shower, only to find Ken grabs onto the
bathroom sills and refuses to go. Yohji tells Omi to go get a towel and Omi
does as he was told, when Yohji tries to calm Ken down.
"NO! This world without Ran is
meaningless... he is everything to me!! Let me go!" Ken struggles out
violently, making the older blonde almost lose his grip.
Yohji holds the soaking brunette
tighter, "K-Ken! Stop!!"
Omi runs back in and widens his
eyes when he sees Ken crying and shouting Ran's name with so desperate mimic on
his face. The towel slips of Omi's hands as unburden tears slip down to his
cheek.
"RAN!! Come back to me! Please,
come back to me, RAN!! Let me go Yohji!! He's dead because of me, it's all
because of me! He's lonely in the darkness, I have to keep him accompany! We
are one!! Let me GO!!"
"Oii Ken! KEN!! Calm down!!"
And it's when Ken's going to
make another struggle fight with Yohji when the youngest blonde moves in front
of him.
And slaps him, hard.
Ken falls down to the floor with
Yohji hurries to him. Silence accompanies when two pairs of jade green and
coffee orbs widen and look at the ocean ones. Yohji gaps. Ken parts his mouth,
cupping his slapped cheek with his left hand.
Omi bits his lips.
"Don't act like you are the only
who's suffering Ken-kun!!" tears burst out from Omi's wide eyes as he trembles
when he continues, "We too feel lost, we too love Ran-kun, we too suffer as
much as you do!! And now even more with the troublesome act you are showing us,
what should we do, Ken-kun?! WHAT??!"
Ken widens his eyes even more.
"Do you think... do you think
Ran-kun will appreciate this??! NO!!" he sobs, "You... you are not alone,
Ken-kun... we are here for you... so don't get through this alone, we are here,
with you... we will go through this together..."
And with that, Omi's legs
crumple up as he bends and hugs Ken, sobbing quietly. Ken's eyes grow warm as another
tear slid down to his cheek. He hugs Omi back, crying on the smaller shoulder
as his perch.
Yohji lets the grip on Ken's arm
go, as he limps back and leans on the bathroom door, all soaked and tired, but
kind of relieved. He watches the two younger Weiß holding and crying on each
other arms calmly. He smiles weakly.
"Ah... Ran, you really left me
with a big task, ne...?"
Receiving silentness as his
reply, Yohji leans closer to the bathroom sills. A real smile attached to his
lips.
"Oh well..."
***
Please let me go, in reliefness, send me to Heaven with your smile
My beloved friend
this is the end, my faith is to go soon
Please do not ask me why cause I don't have the answer
You have to accept Lord's decisions, we all will soon be dead
But I don't mind, I mind at all
if I could be dead
By Heaven in your smile
He stops as the melody taught
finished its lines. He stares at the navy blue sky with powder spots on it,
decorating the sky beautifully. Another soft breeze flows past him, caressing
his soul gently. He smiles.
But although he has to accept
the truth, still... somehow from the corner of his bleeding heart, there's a
glimpse of hope that still believes that somehow, Ran will appear. With purple
gentians and ugly orange sweater, along with his gorgeous red hair saying that it's
all a big lie.
And he will never been apart
again. Forever...
He smirks to himself.
/I'm so egoist.../
When he wants to close the white
painted windows, he hears someone sings. A nice, soft voice with guitar as its
companion. He re-opens the window and stares left to the balcony, wondering
who's singing such a beautiful song with a voice like an angel.
'This is the real good bye, my
friend please do not cry, do me a favor, send me to Heaven with your smile.'
This voice...
'I don't want tears to fall, I
hate to see you cry, please accept Lord's willing, do not cry for me.'
"RAN!!!" Ken cries as the melody
keeps tuning in. He runs off the window and heads to the apartment room that
Ran used to stay at. Knocking the door furiously, he shouts Ran's name for
several times.
/Kuso! It's locked!!/
"Ran! Are you there?! Please,
answer me!!"
Receiving nothing for his reply,
he pants for breath as he puts his hand on the door. Putting his head against
the wooden door, he sighs in desperation.
"Ran..."
Silence.
"..." He paused, "If you are
there... and don't want me to come inside, then that's okay... it's just that
I've had no chance to ask for your forgiveness to me... I just want to say that
I'm sorry... for not understanding you more, for not being there when you
mostly need me... I'm so, so sorry..."
Another minutes of silence, Ken
continues, doesn't care whether the man behind that wooden door is Ran or not.
Somehow he knows that Ran is listening, Ran knows he is here, Ran
understands...
"...Ran I love you... and I will
always love you... no matter what..." tears slid down to his flushing cheek,
"The song you made from me will never been forgotten Ran, never. This I promise
you... I will grow strong, I will live my life, for the sake of you too, but if
you want me to accompany you in death, I will gladly do that too."
Long deepness of silent goes
on... when suddenly the song is heard again.
'My sweet, sweet lover please do
not cry. You have to accept Lord's decisions, we all will soon be dead by
Heaven in your smile.'
"...Ran...?"
The door doesn't open.
'This is the end, Ken... live,
for my sake too, you'll find happiness, Ken, I'm sure about it. I'll always be
with you... so please, send me to Heaven with your smile.'
"Ran!" he turns the doorknob
again, and it opens slowly, Ken walks in calmly but with his heart pounding
very fast. He reaches to the wooden chair that faces out of the window with the
white curtain dancing with the midnight breeze. Ken approaches.
He looks to the face of the big
wooden chair...
...and finds nothing sitting on
it.
Ken eyes lower. He stands there,
clenching his fists hard, trying not to—again—cry.
"...Ran..."
And suddenly like his first and
last lover giving him a caress, the midnight wind breezes upon him, blowing his
chocolate strands gently. Ken looks up as a pair of hands touches his cheek and
cups his face.
There he is, Fujimiya Ran, the
ex-leader of Weiß in front of him touching and caressing his face. Ken widens
his eyes. He gasps, couldn't get her parted lips to close.
"R-Ran...?"
"Ssh..." Ran kisses Ken on his
lips gently, too gentle until Ken almost couldn't feel anything. But the love
overflows in him couldn't feel more real. Ken closes his eyes as the kiss goes
on. When they have to part the kiss cause of lack of oxygen, Ken still opens
his eyes.
"Ken... I love you, but please
live for my sake ne? Don't ever forget me as your memory of us is indeclinable.
I will always be with you—forever."
"N-No, Ran! Wait!"
Ran smiles at Ken tenderly as he
turns to face the curtained window. White pure angel's wings spread before his
back graciously. Ken gaps.
'This is the real good bye... my
love please do not cry... do me a favor...'
His red strands dance in the air
as he takes a step back and beautifully taken back to where he's suppose to
belong to now... a place called 'Heaven'. Ken's eyes teary, but he wipes it up
and looks up to the saint ceremony on bringing Ran back to Heaven's palace.
Ken smiles, having the new
strength to face tomorrow.
"Yes Ran... I will send you to
Heaven with my smile."
And the last thing Ken remembers
is Ran lets go of a tear on his left cheek as his earring breaks and he was
lifted by Heaven to go back.
The last whisper that heard by
Ken, 'you are forgiven... so please send me to Heaven with your smile.'
Ken doesn't remember anything
except of those last words carried like a dainty song but full of sadness. And
he doesn't realize when suddenly the sun rises from the east, making a new
bright born day to come for humans companion today.
***
The morning starts with
gloomy-faced Omi waters the plant and Yohji sits on the table, cigarette hangs
lose on his lips, untouched.
"Ken-kun is late..."
"Aa."
It's when suddenly rushes of
footsteps heard as Ken burst into the Koneko with sweaty face and lively. Yohji
and Omi gasp, looking at the normal Ken comes back.
"Ohayou!! Gomen I'm late,
yesterday I dreamt about something and I woke up in the wrong side of the bed,
stumbled on the bloody pajamas I wore the day before and... Oh my God! I forgot
to lock the apartment door!!! See ya later guys!!"
Ken runs back to his apartment
as his friends sweatdrop.
"Ken-kun... is recovered?"
"I guess so... the clumsy ol'
Kenken... he forgot his bike's key here..."
"That means he'll..."
Ken opens the door violently,
now even more sweaty, "I forgot my bike keys!!!"
Yohji smiles to Omi as he tosses
the bike keys to the clumsy brunette. Ken grins apologetically to the blondes
and soon burst out from the Koneko again, hearing Yohji shouts to him 'I will
not replace your shift again today! YOU are going to replace mine and Omi's!!'
and Omi shouts to Yohji 'hidoii yo Yohji-kun!!'
Ken smiles to himself as he hops
on his bike and drives back to his apartment.
/Thank you Ran.../
The lonely tune of the song that
Ran has wrote him plays slowly in Ken's ears.
'So please send me to Heaven
with your smile.'
/I will./
***OWARI*** ^_^