Omikun
Started 02/06/01
Finished 03/06/01
What I Want
Part Three
Give and Take
Schuldig left the wall he was leaning against to stand close to the window, in the right angle to observe the street between the two curtains. Farfarello sat more conveniently on the couch and licked the blood that was still running down his arm. He was looking at Schuldig with an empty gaze, and the redhead thought it was better not to read his thoughts. Sometimes he was really scared by the fool's twisted mind. Before knowing Farfarello, Schuldig had always thought he was the most wicked man on Earth, but he had since learnt that there was much worse… Once in a while he linked his mind to the Irishman's, and he always discovered a world of mysteries that threatened every single living being, him included. Sometimes he wondered why his teammate had not yet killed them all. He always found the same answer: first Farfarello would have big difficulties to fight the other members of Schwarz, and then being part of Schwarz allowed him to get his avenge on God. Sure Schwarz hurt God, much more the whole team than a single man.
Schuldig heard Nagi shut the door of the flat, and saw him step in the main room. He turned to gaze at the youngest member of Schwarz, who stopped dead when he realized someone was fixing him.
"Nagi Nagi Nagi… why have you never told your friends you wanted a fuck? We're here to provide all the lust you want, you don't have to go and find your enemies for that."
Nagi snorted and went directly into his room. He slammed the door, but not before groaning a curse about his pretended "friends". Schuldig laughed, causing his long ginger hair to undulate. He really enjoyed teasing the kid; he always had the best reaction to be expected. He never let it pass and was each time affected by his words; the German could see that in the depths of his soul. Nagi was always on the defensive, but he rarely showed he was embarrassed. Schuldig knew of course each time he was, and liked it. Teasing Nagi was almost as arousing as teasing Brad. His leader had something Nagi would never have, the wit to tease him back. Brad had always an answer, and the game was even more exciting.
Something in the street caught schuldig's attention. He recognized Kenken's frame amongst the crazy people. The young Japanese was making his way through a group of schoolgirls who looked at him as he passed by. Of course he must have success with girls… and with boys too, Nagi was a proof of that. It was a shame that he never had sex, not even with his dear Aya. Schuldig thought the boy might be a delicious toy when he would get bored. The Weiss assassin's mind was already badly tormented, and he had just to add his special mind game to tear him apart. The idea pleased him, and he began to imagine hundred of ways to play with Nagi's boyfriend. Besides hurting Ken might generate interesting reactions from Nagi. And of course, it would have consequences on the whole pack of white assassins. He would have real fun!
His headache made its come back. The summer heat in Japan was really too oppressive for him. It was almost handicapping him. He was forced to rest several times a day, drink as much as he could, and using his power almost hurt him. He'll end up turning into a vampire if he kept on fleeing the sun or any source of light. His skin would be as pale as Farfarello's… no good for such a sexy guy. The only two things that eased his pain were a shower or a nap. He wasn't tired so he chose to have a shower.
Farfarello didn't move when he started to the bathroom, he was too much occupied with slicing his left arm. Schuldig thought Brad would make a fuss when he sees all the blood spread on the couch that he had already given to wash only a week ago. He even imagined Farfarello trying to get the red stains under Brad's attentive and threatening gaze. He laughed as he walked in the bathroom. Just as he was shutting the door, he heard noise from a room opposite to the corridor. Nagi was cursing. Schuldig located his mind and started to contemplate the teen's thoughts. He could sense hatred against the boy's elders, but also against himself… he picked up memories of his afternoon passed with Kenken, curious to see how they had met. There was nothing worth, and his head was beginning to bang awfully, so he shut the door and took his clothes off. He hated shirts but he was forced to wear one because of the weather. Moreover he had to wear very large shirts, which was more convenient, while he preferred tight clothes that showed enough of his body to attract attention. But he couldn't afford to feel worse than what he already suffered. He stepped in the shower and enjoyed the soothing liquid. He drew back his drenched hair and let the synthetic rain pour on his body. Now he felt good. He wondered if he could ever get used to Japanese summers. Nagi seemed to get through it without much difficulty, and he envied the kid for that… and maybe…
Nagi had a new friend. A boyfriend? He wasn't sure. They had only "met" this afternoon. Sure they mutually attracted, and they even kissed. Anyway, Nagi had someone to love, and Schuldig was even more envious for that. Who loved Schuldig? Nobody. When he was younger he hated everybody, and he didn't need love. Now that he had grown up, his hatred had diminished. He needed friendship as any other human being… except maybe Farfarello…and he needed love. He couldn't admit it but it was true. And he wished he could have better relations with his teammates, especially with Brad. But his fucking mind disagreed. He always behaved like an asshole, hurting those he wanted to be friend with. It was hard to fight his own reactions and will. But he was quite new with these feelings. He would learn to cope with them, to use them.
Hey! What was he thinking about? Him, love? No way! He would enjoy the others' pain till he dies! He would enjoy playing with their minds, drive them crazy, fuck them and finally kill them! He would enjoy…
He wasn't sure he still enjoyed that. A part of him still liked to see his teammates hurt while the other regretted his acts. And it was seriously disturbing him. He wished he could be a cold bastard as before. Things were much easier then: he hurt, he laughed. He had fun. He enjoyed life. Now he started to question his mind. Was he really happy?
The water stopped to rain.
Another boring and oppressive afternoon.
Schuldig was fighting hard to find some shadow. But the sun was at the zenith and only an umbrella could give him what he was desperately looking for. When he felt he was beginning to stagger, he entered a shop, any shop. Once he entered a lingerie shop, and when the female clerks saw him and Farfarello surrounded with bras and underpants, they thought they were maniacs. Sure they were quite unusual customers, especially the threatening Farfarello whose thoughts became very interesting when he stared at the clothes. He was imagining how beautiful would be a lady in a lace set, after he had properly sliced her up. God wouldn't appreciate that for sure. After a few minutes, Schuldig felt better, and he managed to show his most lustful grin to the women who observed them. He almost burst out laughing when he read their indignation. Even Farfarello smiled to them, enjoying some wicked thought. They finally had to leave when the clerks decided to call the police.
And here he was, under the bright sun again. He had his sunglasses on, but it had no effect on the infernal heat. Farfarello was following him with no sign of discomfort. Schuldig knew the guy couldn't feel pain. But could he sense heat and its effects? It seems not, and he was damn lucky! It was even disgusting to see him walk idly as if the weather was cool.
If schuldig couldn't stand the sun, then why had he gone outside? Just because he couldn't stay in the flat all day long watching TV. He was bored. Really really bored. So he preferred to risk blackouts.
"Schuldig."
It was Farfarello's quite voice.
"I'm going and have a nice time in this church."
"Uh? Yeah yeah… have fun."
Farfarello moved toward the church, and Schuldig thought air was usually cool in churches. But it was out of question to witness once again one of Farfarello's slaughters. Anyway he had better things to do. He had a friend to visit. Kenken.
He mentally evaluated the shorter way to get to the flower shop. He would have to walk for quite some time, and under the sun. Well, he could always try.
After ten minutes spent under the evil light, his head began to bang again. His eyesight suddenly blurred, and he almost lost his balance. He leant against a wall, breathing hard. The weather was killing him. His legs were shaking and he wasn't sure he could finally go and visit Weiss. And if he managed to get there, it would be in a very bad state. The killers would get rid of him easily. It was wiser to go back home…
Somebody tapped his shoulder.
He turned to face a young woman of about his age, maybe a bit younger. She was European. Long fair hair, light brown eyes almost golden, thin lips slightly pursed… she wasn't beautiful but she had something about her that made her look really cute. Schuldig thought an angel had came to save him from hell and lead him to heaven. Was heaven a cool place?
"Anou… you're blocking the way…"
Schuldig had not realized he was leaning on the wall of a small entrance, and thus prevented anybody from entering or exiting the building. He stirred with difficulty to let her in. She hesitated and finally opened the door. Schuldig had nothing to lean against, his legs barely carried him, his head was exploding, his eyes shut… he fell unconscious.
His eyes opened.
His eyesight was still blurred, but he gradually regained the ability to see what was before his eyes. Yet his brain was disconnected and he couldn't realize what it was. His head was still hurting simultaneously with his blood pressure, but it was only a faint touch now. It seemed to him that his body weighed tons, and the only attempt to stir a finger caused much efforts and thus pain. He remained motionless for a while, just waiting to feel better. His mind started to work, and he analyzed the situation. He had passed out. It had happened in the street. Yet he wasn't in the street. He was in a room. He was staring at the roof of this room, and he was lying in a bed. The curtains of the room were open, so he wasn't at the Schwarz headquarters. Anyway no one would have brought him back there. So was he in a hospital? He didn't thought so, considering the dirty wallpaper. It was such an ugly wallpaper. Walls in hospitals were usually white or of a pale color, and they were painted. Not a bright green and brown wallpaper. Ugly. So where was he?
He moved slowly his head to have a better view of the room. He was in a very small flat. It was clean. Two doors, one the entrance and the other the bathroom. An opening on the left, the kitchen. No pictures on the ugly wallpaper. The furniture consisted only in the bed, a table and two chairs, and a small drawer. There was not much room for anything else.
But what attracted Schuldig's attention was the kid playing cars on the floor.
It was a very young boy. About two. Blond hair, green eyes. Half-European, half-Asian. On the floor, playing cars. Where the hell was he?
He lifted his hand to touch his burning forehead. The kid saw the move and rose his head staring at Schuldig. He suddenly stood and came closer. His little body was just tall enough to allow him to rest his arms on the bed when he was standing. And that's what he did. He crossed his arms on the bed, a few inches from Schuldig's head. The child smiled.
"Tu es français toi aussi? Maman dit que c'est pas souvent qu'on en rencontre."
"Uh?"
What was that? Italian? French? Schuldig had no idea. He only spoke German, English and Japanese. He wasn't gifted in foreign languages, but he had been forced to learn those for his little job. And it was hard enough.
The kid saw that the grown up didn't understand. He pouted, seemingly disappointed.
"Maman! Le monsieur l'est réveillé!"
"Ne crie pas!"
Schuldig watched in the direction of the voice. The young woman who he had met just before fainting stepped from the kitchen. She was wearing a blue and vast dress, ankle length. She was drying her hands with an apron.
"Su…sumimasen! He woke you?"
"Iie…"
Schuldig was quite surprised to see that he could talk, but his throat was awfully dry.
"I was really worried when I saw you faint. But I saw it was only due to the heat, so I brought you here. You've been sleeping for more than three hours now. Do you want some water? You must be thirsty…"
She directly went back to the kitchen without waiting for his answer, and came back after a few seconds with a glass of water. She murmured an apologize for she had nothing else to propose, and the redhead took the glass and drank ravenously.
"Can I have another?"
"Of course!"
She went back to the kitchen. Schuldig moved to sit on the bed, and the kid jumped on the place next to him. He was smiling at him. Schuldig couldn't help but smile back. The woman talked from the kitchen:
"You are German, ne? I recognized the accent. I learnt some German many years ago. I'm French. Name's Sylvie. Here's Alex. And you're…?"
As she came with another glass of water that she hold to her unexpected guest.
"Schuldig."
"Hajimemashite, Schuldig-san!"
"Aha… I have to go."
He drank, then tried to stand. He fell back on the bed. Alex laughed.
"You're not serious? You can't even stand! You sit here! I'm preparing dinner, it will be ready in a few minutes."
She went back to the kitchen again. Schuldig sat on the bed. He was perplexed. He wanted to go, but he couldn't. He wished he had watched TV…
The kid was still smiling at him. A bell rang in the German's mind.
"He's your son? You're a very young mother…"
"I was quite naive. I trusted anyone. When I fell pregnant, I just couldn't think of abortion. I was just eighteen. My parents abandoned me, and I had to manage everything on my own."
"His father…?"
"He doesn't even know he's got a son. I never saw him again…"
She must have had very hard times. How old was she? 20? 21? The kid was maybe 2 and a half, he wasn't sure. He wanted to know more, and he started to explore her thoughts.
The fact to have thus summed up her last few years awoke memories in her. She felt sad. It was very hard to earn enough for her and her son. She had been living in Japan since many years, and didn't want to go back to France. She had no real connections save Alex. She had been alone for a while, but now she felt better coz her son could speak a little. Alex was her only source of happiness. She had tried to contact his father, but she didn't even know his last name. They had met, had sex and separated. Only a week after their first kiss they each went their own way again. She didn't despise him for that. She knew they couldn't remain together, that he was free. She remembered his face…
Schuldig gasped. He couldn't believe the image she was unconsciously transferring him. He caught a glance at the boy next to him. Sure he has something about him that reminded of his father. And he would most likely look just like him when he grew up. He had his father's eyes. Even his smile proved everything was right. He couldn't believe it…
He was contemplating the shocking discovery when a strong thought emanated from the woman.
/I whish I could see him again… just once… to tell him about Alex…/
It was her only regret. She didn't wish him to take care of his son, to act as a father. She knew it wasn't in his nature. He was so free. He was so beautiful. She couldn't blame him for anything, it would have been unfair…
Schuldig shut his mind. He didn't want to know more. It was hurting him. His head pulsed furiously.
"Dinner's ready!"
She came cheerfully holding a pasta dish. She put it on the table, then considered the two only chairs… two chairs, three persons…
"I'd rather sit on the bed."
"Are you sure? It must be quite inconvenient…"
"It's ok."
"Well then…"
She pushed the small table to move it closer to the bed, watching carefully that the dish didn't fall over. She then took both chairs and put them to the table. She took Alex in her arms and sat him on the right chair. She then finished to set the table. During all the process, Schuldig observed her easy smile and the explicit signs of affection towards her son. In spite of all the hardships she had to face, she was happy. He just couldn't understand that. He couldn't understand the way her mind worked. She was a mystery to him. The only other person that had given him difficulties of comprehension was Farfarello. He knew him of course, and he knew what was on his mind. But what he didn't know was why. With Cécile it was the same. He couldn't figure out why she was happy. And it quite impressed him.
She was really glad to have a guest, even if she had not much to offer. It was a very rare occasion. She had no real friends for she had no time to spend with them. She had to work hard to make a living…
They dinned enjoying a shared good mood. The kid was always laughing, Sylvie couldn't stop talking, and Schuldig listened to her long speech, saying something from times to times. He was experiencing something he never thought he would know. He was experiencing the warmth of a family. And he really liked it. He tried hard to behave properly, for he didn't want to shock the two innocent people he was with. No curses, no mind games… It was a real break in his life.
The time soon came when he had to go. Alex was already sleeping on the bed he was sitting on, just behind him. He felt the kid had clutched the end of his shirt in his small hand. He moved gently so as not to wake him and stood. It had been six hours since he had fainted, and he was now perfectly well. The evening air was cooler, and he could walk back to the Schwarz flat.
"You are sure you don't want me to call a taxi?"
She really seemed concerned, and it quite embarrassed him.
"Naan… it's ok. I really feel good now."
She had accompanied him to the building entrance. She quite regretted that he had to go for she liked him. He was stunned to see that he could still win someone's interest which had nothing to do with business or sex. It was very pleasant.
"Then promise to come and see me again, ne?"
He smiled. It was the first time he smiled naturally for ages, a beautiful good humored smile.
"Don't worry, you'll see me again soon!"
She smiled back. She was really pleased to hear that. It was so easy to make her happy. And her happiness was contagious.
"I really have to go now, or my boss gonna slice me to make sushi."
A melodic laugh answered.
"See ya!"
"Feel free to come anytime you want!"
She was looking at him as he left, walking in the almost deserted street. When he disappeared at the corner of a building, she went back to her small flat. Schuldig still linked his mind to hers, just curious to know what she was thinking about. She was glad to have a new friend. Schuldig smiled. Him, considered as a friend? It was really funny. Nobody could have told such a stupid thing. But she did, and she really meant it. A new feeling grew in the German, more deep and intensive as seconds went by…
He had realized he had not thanked her. Geez! He was stupid! What could he do to fix it? He thought about it a few minutes when he had the idea of the century. He would send her flowers. Yeah! He could do it for her! He really wanted her to be happy, and it was the only thing she wished with all her heart…
-Part Three_owari-
the crazy girl stroke again! (that's me…) :P
I've always thought Schuldig enjoyed his mind games and tortures, but sometimes regretted them. Particularly when he hurts those he loves…(well, if it's possible that he loves someone). It's only my opinion of course… so give me yours! Schuldig is a very interesting character, coz he's evil but attractive! ::drools:: and his mind is really hard to understand! I wonder how he was originally imagined when the series was being made…
I'm not used to young children so I don't know how to what extend they can speak. And even more if I knew it would only be in French. The French I used is bad French, my interpretation of children's babbling. I haven't translated coz it's a Schuldig POV, and I wanted my dear readers to feel like him. Gomen if it's wrong…