Omikun
Started 03/06/01
What I Want
Part four
Cleaning and Cooking
It was growing dark. He worshiped darkness. It gave him the impression he was a monster that lurked in the shadow, waiting for his victim to come. And they always came. There were thousands of them walking idly in the street. He just had to pick one or two, and enjoy the pain he was causing. He was a slayer, and that hurt God. He slowly annihilated the Creation. He was the end of times. And he had a bloody day.
Only a few hours ago he had visited a church. Not for its architecture or to pray. No. He had entered the church and had converted it into a living hell. Inside of it his victims had unconsciously awaited his arrival. He hadn't betrayed them, he had come, and had started his mass. Now the religious ritual had ended, and he felt deliciously good. Red stains covered his black clothes. He had walked in the streets, meeting God's children everywhere, and no one had seen the stains. The blood was still wet, yet on a black suit it was almost invisible. But Farfarello felt the contact of the drenched cloth on his skin, and smelled its gorgeous flavor. It gave him satisfaction. It gave him pleasure. It gave him power. It gave him the need to do it again. However he had already a big day and if he didn't go back to the Schwarz flat, Brad's anger would equal the Devil's.
It was almost midnight when he finally reached the flat's door. He opened it and found the place dark and still. He wondered where were the others. He shut the door and listened carefully. He heard the faint rhythm of music far away. It was most likely Nagi in his room. Brad was probably working in his own room, and as for Schuldig… only the Devil knew where he could be. At this hour he usually went to a nightclub to find a new toy. Or maybe he had decided to harass that Weiss boy, Kenken, or the blond sexy guy that was his friend. Schuldig was attracted by the womanizer. The fact that his enemy was straight excited him beyond imagination. Whenever he had some time to spend, he went to see if he could tease him. It was his favorite game, and each time he came back with a wicked grin of satisfaction. Farfarello wondered if the German ever obtained what he desired…
Darkness. The flat was all darkness. It was very comforting. He decided not to switch the light on. He walked calmly in the room, yet he could see nothing. The curtains were still drawn, thus the light of the city were blocked and couldn't enlighten the place. He tried to remind the disposition of the flat they had moved in only three weeks ago, so as not to bump in a wall or anything. He didn't want to leave bloody spots here and there on his way, it would drive Brad mad. Not that the American could do him anything, but he could really be irritating. So he walked carefully… or tried.
He had never expected boxes to be stored in the middle of the room. And when his foot banged in one of them, he noisily fell on them all. And here he was, lying amongst boxes…
Then came the light.
Nagi stood at the end of the corridor that led to their rooms. He had just switched on the light and was staring at Farfarello, who tried to get off the cartons.
"You know this thing we human beings call switch? It's really convenient you should try. "
He walked cross the room and got the boxes to their original place.
"We move again?"
Farfarello had managed to get out of the mess. Nagi answered without looking:
"No. New work for Brad."
Farfarello contemplated the tons of documents filling the boxes. Their leader would be really irritated for the next month at least.
"Pffffff… you stained some files…"
Not a good thing.
"By the way, Brad came back two hours ago. When he saw the couch I thought he was having a heart attack. He asked me to tell you to get off the stain somehow. And before he comes back. You'd better hurry."
Farfarello looked at the bloody couch, and thought it was nicer this way. But it wasn't at everybody's taste. Too bad.
"And remove your clothes before you start. You'll never fix it if you go on staining everything around."
Nagi was getting on his nerves. He decided to try something à la Schuldig. He obediently took off his shirt, then his pants. Nagi furiously blushed and hurried back to his lair. Farfarello smirked and thought the German had some interesting manners. Being influenced by Schuldig could be fun. He went to his own room and put on new clothes. Then he headed to the kitchen and started looking for something to clean the couch. He was used to get off blood from his clothes, but not off furniture. He doubted his potential success, but he had to try or evil Brad would make a fuss. Under the sink there was a bunch of diverse sprays that served to clean different things one could find in a house. He took several products as he didn't know which one would do, wondering why they had such a huge collection of useless (?) utensils. He brought them in the living room, let them drop on the floor and started to examine the labels. The first one aimed at cleaning carpets. The second was for wallpapers. Another one was for… bathrooms??? Hmmm… not this one… none for couches? … It would not be easy…
After having sorted out the sprays, he finally decided to try three of them. He hold the first one, clicked, saw the liquid attack a particularly red and prominent stain, and realized he had forgot to take something to wipe it. He went to the kitchen, took a rag, back at the couch, and saw that the stain had disappeared… with the blue color of the couch. Now it wasn't a red stain, but a very pale blue one. Kuso! How would he fix that?
"I'm cursed…"
He wiped the remaining liquid with the rag, and some of the bright blue with it again. He stared at the devilish piece of furniture, fighting with the part of him that wanted to tear it apart.
It was one of his most difficult battles. But after an hour he had finally managed to get the stains, or most of it. Some pale red remained here and there, between two pale blue marks. After all the blood had had more than 24 hours to dry on the cloth. Now the couch was bright blue, light blue and light red. Brad wouldn't appreciate.
But Farfarello did not mind now. He had basically done what he had been asked. For him the matter was closed. He stood up and began to put all the products to their place in the kitchen. Another difficulty: he didn't remember where he had found all the products. He tried to put them all under the sink but there was not enough room. He tried hard not to threw them in the garbage can, and looked for another place to get rid of them. He didn't bother much and put them on the first empty cupboard he found. There was a book lying on the shelf.
"Uh? A cooking book?"
Another mystery to solve. Was there an hidden cooker within Schwarz? He imagined successively his teammates with an apron… no one fitted the suit. Nevertheless it reminded him he had not eaten for two days now. Being hungry did not bother him, but he didn't want to faint because of hypoglycemia. So he had a look in the fridge. It looked desperately empty. It only contained beers, some meat and eggs.
He peered at the eggs. That should do. He took the entire box of eggs, the butter, wished he had milk, took a bowl and a frying pan, salt, pepper… and began to cook an omelet.
Crack… one egg. Then the second… nine eggs. He knew he wouldn't eat the whole omelet, but it was much more fun to cook a very big one, and he enjoyed breaking eggs. Then he thought about the eggs, which were actually ex-future-chicks. Dead future-chicks. He appreciated the idea, and stirred his fork in the bowl while adding salt and pepper. He felt sad they were already dead.
When he evaluated that he had whipped the eggs enough, he poured the liquid in the hot and buttered frying pan. Its scent started to spread in the air.
Farfarello heard a soft footstep behind him. Nagi was standing at the kitchen entrance, staring at him in wonder.
"You're…cooking?"
Nagi came closer and watched what was in the pan. He seemingly didn't understand what was happening. Sure it was really unusual. Who would have expected the Devil to cook? The boy jumped on the work-top and observed his elder's movements.
"It's not your first time…"
"I used to cook omelets before joining Schwarz. I like eggs. The book on the cupboard is yours?"
"Aa. Cooking is good for nerves. I'll set the table."
He jumped down and took the necessary utensils for two. He sat at the table when Farfarello made the omelet slide in a plate with a swift move of his wrist. They both contemplated the appealing food before taking their parts. However Nagi waited to see his friend's reaction before starting to eat. As he saw that Farfarello was eating normally with no particular sign of discomfort or suffocation, he took his fork.
"Itadakimasu."
Farfarello watched him as he put the first piece of egg in his mouth. The boy seemed to appreciate the dish. They ate in silence. They didn't know what to say, and they had no real need nor will to talk. They were used to eat with the two other Schwarz members, and only those two talked during their lunches. Brad always talked business… or scolded them. Schuldig always continued his twisted mind game.
Yet after a while, Nagi felt the need to talk. He was staring at the psycho's quiet face and wondered how his mind worked. The question really bothered him, but he couldn't ask Schuldig to tell him everything he had read in his mind. If so, Schuldig would tease him again. Then he had to figure it out.
"What are you planning to do for the couch?"
Farfarello pondered the question a few seconds then answered with a soft voice:
"Buy a new one?"
"…"
"Have you ever stabbed someone?"
Nagi frooze.
"No."
"Wanna try?"
"Not really."
"You're missing something."
"I don't mind."
The door of the flat slammed. They heard a whistle coming from the living room, and Schuldig walked in the kitchen. When he saw the two of them eating something that had nothing to do with take-away food, he stopped dead.
"Who cooked?"
Nagi pointed at Farfarello.
"It's poisoned?"
Farfarello's evil grin.
"Try and see…"
"No thanx! I've already had dinner anyway. The couch, it's your job? Brad's gonna get mad. It's forever ruined. Had a nice day?"
"I hurt God."
"Good. And what about your koibito, Nagi?"
"He's not my koibito. Tomodachi da."
"Oh? And you kiss all your friends? You never kissed me…"
"Maybe because you're not my friend."
Schuldig pretended to look upset.
"Really? Gotta change that…"
The redhead bend and kissed the stunned kid. Nagi was so taken aback he didn't even react. Schuldig didn't try to make it a deep kiss, but it was far enough to disturb the teen. Then the man broke apart.
"From now on we're friends."
He turned to Farfarello and kissed him fiercely. The psycho kissed him back with the same vigor. There was no contact between them except their lips.
"We're already friends but I always enjoy a kiss…and a fuck too. I'm going to have a shower, so if one of you, or both, wanna join me…"
He left hands in pockets and smile on his face.
Farfarello thought all this friendship wasn't going to hurt God. However it was agreeable. Nagi was frowning, only realizing what had happened. He licked his lips and threw Farfarello a inquisitive glance.
"What's happening with him? He's…different…"
Farfarello shrugged. Schuldig had always behaved this way with him.
They heard a scream from the living room. Brad had just come back and seen the couch. He appeared in the kitchen ready to shout, but he froze when he saw them. Nagi decided to answer the expected question before it was uttered.
"Farfarello cooked."
"Nani?!? It's poisoned?"
Both omelet-eaters smiled. Brad and Schuldig were born to be together.
The American took a fork and tasted.
"Quite good… I'll take some in my room. I've got to work."
"We saw that."
"We'll have a discussion soon, Farfarello. And you with too, Nagi. Where's Schuldig? He came back?"
"In the bathroom."
"He told you where he was?"
"Nope."
"That bastard! Disappearing when I needed him! I'll have him buy a mobile…"
"He's a telepath. He can contact you whenever he wants."
"Sure he can… when he wants, not when I want. And I can't join him."
He left with a plate filled with omelet. Farfarello heard him knock on the bathroom's door.
"Come in! It's open!" Schuldig seemed really satisfied that someone came to see him.
"Don't joke! I don't have time for that!"
"Brad?"
"Of course it's me! Just where the hell were you? You disappeared for 7 hours!…"
Brad screamed for about 5 minutes nonstop. The two younger members of Schwarz finished their lunch, but hesitated to move. They preferred waiting till their leader was locked in his room, just in case he wanted to pass his nerves on them. Then the speech ended.
"Ok ok! Gomen! I won't do it again, oka-san! Now ya're sure you don't wanna have a shower with me?"
Brad muttered something incomprehensible and slammed the door of his room, causing Schuldig's laughter.
Nagi stood up and began to clear the table.
"What about Kenken?"
The kid frowned. Farfarello was kidding or was he serious?
"Nothing to say. I haven't seen him since yesterday."
"You hurt him?"
Blush.
"N…no."
Farfarello thought the kid maybe misunderstood his question. But he went on anyway.
"I want to hurt the whole world. I want to hurt God. I want Hell."
-Part Four_owari-
I really enjoyed writing this part ! As always I wanted to stay as close as possible to the original characters…(have I succeeded?)…but I wanted to write something really funny! And writing something funny about Farfarello without changing his nature was kinda hard! Farfie seems to be one of the less famous characters in Weiss Kreuz, and I think that's unfair, coz he's really cool. So do you like this chapter? Wanna taste Farfie's omelet? ::evil laugh::