Cry Ophelia [songfic]
By,
SpiritedRinoa
Author's note: Standard disclaimer here…I don't own the FF8
characters (though I wish that I owned Squall, and I wish I WERE Rinoa ~_^)
Also the lyrics were taken from the song Cry Ophelia, Performed by Adam Cohen…which I got off from
the Dawson's Creek Soundtrack (Vol.1).
Something went wrong
You are not laughing
It's not so easy now to get you to smile
You gotta be strong
To walk these streets
And keep from falling
But when you're not, just let yourself cry
Squall walked into the
room. His usual rock solid resolve
completely dissolved once he was alone in the room with her. "Rinoa…" He knelt down next to the bed,
where she lay in a coma-like state.
Gazing at her with a tenderness that she couldn't see, he gently took
her hand in his own. "You feel so
cold…" He stared at the unmoving girl dressed in light blue. This is like talking to a wall… "I
want to hear your voice. Rinoa…call my
name…" Squall was beginning to feel emotionally exhausted. He was overcome with pain at seeing her like
this. She was so beautiful, even in the
condition she was in. When they had
first met, they had clashed; but now…now he couldn't picture anyone who would
ever complement him the way that she did.
You've been working hard
Just trying to pay the rent
Tryin' to draw the line between who you are and who you invent
But if you throw a stone
Something's gonna shatter somewhere
We're all so fragile
We're all so scared
Squall's mind began to
drift. When we first met… He
could remember that day so vividly. Her
beauty hadn't escaped his eye. The
moment he had seen her, she had invoked emotion from within him. He had suppressed it, pretended those
feelings didn't exist. What would it
matter? He remembered thinking to
himself as he had watched her from across the ballroom. She's a complete stranger, she isn't even
from here, you'll never see her again.
You don't even know her name…
And then she had asked him
to dance. His mind had raced for a
reason not to touch her, as though she were a firebrand and would burn him with
the slightest touch. "I can't dance…"
was the best he could come up with. It
was such a blatant lie. Anyone with any
common knowledge about SeeD knew that its members were well trained in aspects
involving etiquette and mannerism as well as techniques of battle. She looked at him skeptically, seeming to
believe him. But she wouldn't take that
as an excuse. "You'll learn…"
You say you wanna learn how to live your life without tears
But we've been trying to do that for thousands of years
So go on and cry Ophelia
It's the only thing to do sometimes
You know I'm crying too
Right there with you
It's alright Ophelia
Everybody cries
"But you didn't completely
disappear from my life after that one night…" Squall said quietly. His fingers gently caressed Rinoa's cheek,
all the while hoping that he'd feel some slight movement, a tiny quirk of her
lips as they formed that smile he had seen so often since they had met, a
flutter of an eyelash…anything to signify that she was alive and well. Now he had an idea of how she must have felt
that day in Galbadia Garden. The day
that they had thought Seifer was dead.
Rinoa loved Seifer. Squall knew this, Rinoa had spilled her
heart out the day that they had all had to retreat to Galbadia Garden for a
temporary refuge. Although he hadn't
seemed to be, he had been listening to every word that had poured from that
angel's lips though her tears. How it
had killed him inside to see her so tormented and in love with someone else…the
fact that it was his rival was just another twist of the knife. Quickly finding himself overcome with
emotion, he had rushed out of the room and down to the main lobby. He wasn't going to give into his emotions so
easily. He wasn't going to open himself
up to any more pain and anguish than he needed to…
"…but I was wrong, Rin... I
should have told you back then…" he whispered as his words caught in his
throat. "That's why you have to be
okay…that's why you have to come back to me…I have to tell you, Rin…"
Thank god for my bad memory
I've forgotten some of the stupid things that I've done
I've come to a little wisdom through a whole lot of failure
So I watch more carefully what rolls off my tongue
"Rinoa…I want to tell you…but
not until you're awake. Not until I can
hear your voice…see your smile…I want to know how you feel…" He gently touched
her fingertips to his lips. "You've
taught me so much about myself that I didn't know…I still have so much to learn
from you…"
You pray for rain
But you don't want it from a storm
You find a rose
And cut your finger on a thorn
So go on and cry Ophelia
It's the only thing to do sometimes
You know I'm crying too
Right there with you
It's alright Ophelia
Everybody cries Ophelia
"Most
importantly, I've learned that sometimes even I need to let people in. You've shown me that I really am human, even
when I don't always act it…" Squall bowed his head slightly as he held one of
Rinoa's hands in both of his. "It's not
fair. You can't leave just when I
finally found you…" He paused, correcting himself. "No, that's wrong. I
would have been too stubborn to find you.
You found me."
Squall
slouched over slightly, resting his forehead against the edge of the bed. All this honesty, all these feelings were
just too much for him to handle all at once.
A tear slid down his cheek. He
held down the urge to sob uncontrollably.
He was on the verge of breaking.
He lifted his head slightly and saw a small stream of sunlight shining
in from the small, solitary window in the infirmary. A soft breeze gently moved the curtains, and somewhere off in the
distance, he could hear the familiar voice of a young woman. A voice that brought him some peace.
"Things
will work out. Just do what you feel is
right…"
