FIRST LESSON - MATHS

(Maths teacher comes in)

Teacher: I have a suprise for you!

(shows Ash, Misty, Jessie and James preocuupied)

Teacher: It's really great!

(shows Gary unconcious)

Teacher: Its ...
Giovanni: # Shut your ****ing face Uncle ****er!
Teacher: NEXT DOOR NOW!
Giovanni: Make me!
Teacher: Okay. (Picks up Jessie and hurls her through a wall)
Teacher: I had eye surgery today, so I can't see well. THAT'S THE SUPRISE!
(James steals his wallet)
(Jessie steals his answer book)
(Runt looks dazed)

Teacher: POP QUIZ!
Runt: POP!
Everyone else: ****!
Teacher: LANGUAGE!
Runt: LAN!
Everyone else: ****!
Teacher: LANGUAGE!
(it carries on)

RIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!

Intercom: We have some very important members of the Japanese Mafia ... I mean British
Royal Family with us today ... (hacks) PUT THAT KNIFE AWAY AGISAKI! Anyway go to the assembly hall...
(Foreign voice) And bring all your money!

Giovanni: # Money, money, money...

Misty: Doesn't it strike you as odd that his voice suddenly changed...
Ash: Who cares? Let's make out!
Misty: Hell yeah!

-AFTER THE "ASSEMBLY"-

(They enter a classroom where Ash and Misty currently reside)

Runt: HEHEHEHE! BABOON! (dances a jig) I AM THE MIGHTY POO MONSTER ...
Giovanni: (sings Misty's song - I don't know the lyrics - sorry) That was
written by Misty Waterflower!
Misty: (blushing) He he he.
Meowth: Do I smell burgers?
Kids: LLLLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHH!
(lots run off)
Kids: (distantly) PPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGGGG SSSSSSSSSWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLL!
Meowth: (far away) Euch.

-IN THE LUNCH QUEUE-

Brock: (swooning over a Lunch Lady) Let's cook together! OH! How grand.
Graffitti Master: Tastes of ass. (accidently spills red paint over it) (tastes)
Hmm ... chocolate.
Tracey: Hey I saw a Slugma in this spagetti!
Todd: Lemme see!
Duplica: Can you see a Ditto in there?
Ditto: DIT!

Ash: (chews) Euch. Hey chemicals. (swallows) LALALALALALA!
Misty: (swallows) LA DA DE LA LA DUM!
Together: LA LA LA LA! DO DE DO DO DE DO DE DO DO!
(Suddenly sings an entire orchestra playing The Entire Musical Composè
of the Star Wars trilogy with outstanding perfection)

Music Teacher: AMAZING! YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS CAN JOIN THE CHOIR!
Bullies: Er ... okay.

(TEN MINUTES LATER)

(shows all the bully group wearing sunglasses and long chapel cloaks)
Music Teacher: Now ...
Choir: WE AREN'T GONNA TAKE YOUR FASCIST RULE NO MORE!
(The choir whip off the cloaks revealing all the men wearing t-shirts with
bleeding smily faces on and the women steel bras and steel underpants - everyone with lots of weapons)
(they all fire their guns at the chapel teacher)
(corks fly at the chapel teacher)
(two final corks fly at the music teacher to make him unconcious)
(suddenly the corks transform into a bowl of petunias and a rather surprised looking
sperm whale)

To be continued...