Dust Will be the Serpent's Food, Chapter 3 - Remus Lupin
By: PepperjackCandy
Rating: PG13
Disclaimer: Everyone, and everything, in this story, belongs to J.K. Rowling.

Warning: Slash ahead!

A/N: This was going on towards 4,000 words, so I broke it into two separate chapters. Here's the first half.

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I suppose I should start at the beginning, but I'm sure you've heard all that before - Hogwarts Express, Sorting Hat, Welcoming Banquet, Potions Class.

Ah, yes. Potions Class. This is where it gets interesting.

In fifth year, we were required to write a term paper. The topic was to be the inventor of a potion, the evolution of a potion, or theories behind a potion that we feel would contribute something to the wizarding community.

I made the natural choice -- wolfsbane and its potential use controlling werewolves.

Soon, however, I discovered that I was far, far over my head. I approached the Potions Master, Professor Erlenmeyer, for help.

"Professor," I asked after class. "I think I need to choose a different topic."

The professor glanced down at the scroll that contained our topics. "Ah. I see. Found your topic more than you could handle?"

"Yes, sir."

"Well, I've already refused to allow Crabbe and Nott to change their topics, so I'm afraid that I can't allow you a privilege I haven't allowed them."

"I understand sir."

"But, Lupin, if you'd take my advice."

"Yes, sir?"

"Get some assistance with your paper. That is perfectly acceptable. You've chosen a fascinating topic. I'm sure that if asked politely, Snape would be willing to help you."

My heart dropped. "Snape?"

Erlenmeyer nodded. "He's the best Potions student in the school. And being in your year, he should be more approachable than an older student, as well.

"He might even be interested enough in your topic to help even if you don't ask him politely."

"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir." I heaved a heavy sigh and left the room.

I thought about taking the failing mark, but Potions was not my best subject, and I needed as much help as I could get. So, when I ran into Severus in the library later that day, I approached him.

"Snape?" I asked softly.

He looked up. "Lupin." He said shortly.

"May I sit down?"

"It's a free country." He nodded at the chair next to him.

"I . . . I was wondering . . . if I could . . . ." I licked my lips and started again. "Could you please give me some help on my Potions project? I'm going to fail unless I get some help with it."

Severus's jaw dropped, and he closed his mouth with an audible snap. I braced myself for him to turn me down. "Well, since you asked so politely, how can I refuse?"

This time, my jaw fell. "You mean it?"

Severus nodded. "I never say anything I don't mean." He said clearly. "So, what do you need help with?"

"Everything." I sighed as I pulled out the ream of notes I'd already put together and handed it to him.

He paged through them, then looked at me, one eyebrow lifted inquiringly. "Wolfsbane?" He asked. "What interest do *you* have in wolfsbane?"

I'd prepared a lie for the occasion. A half-truth, actually. "My cousin. He's a werewolf. And from knowing him, I know that most werewolves are contributing members of society most of the time, and would like to do what I can to make that *all* of the time."

"Interesting." He said. "For an idea this intriguing, I might have said yes even if you hadn't asked politely."

I chose not to tell him that was what Erlenmeyer had said when he recommended that I ask Severus for help.

Severus glanced through my notes, quickly pointing out some errors I'd made in my research, such as forgetting that belladonna is highly regulated ("And anyway, we don't want to create flying werewolves, Lupin," he said wryly), and suggested some new avenues to try.

"Would you mind," I asked, certain he'd refuse, "if I brought this back to you after I do some more work on it?"

Severus shrugged. "It's all the same to me." He said in a carefully offhand manner.

Somehow, I knew that it wasn't. He was pleased that I'd asked him to help me. But it wasn't until later that I found out why.

Several days later, we were back in the library, and Severus was leafing through my notes.

"But why?" I demanded, resting my head heavily on the table in front of us. "That doesn't make any sense!"

"Oh. Saffron would impart a lovely yellow color, all right. And it would turn it into a love potion. That's the last thing we need. Lovesick werewolves."
Ah. Lovesick werewolves. How prophetic those words would be.

Finally he sighed and stood. "We're not getting anywhere."

I thought for a moment that he was going to leave, but he looked down at me instead. "Let's go for a walk."

My jaw dropped. "Are you sure?" I asked. "I mean, I'm a Gryffindor, you're a Slytherin . . ."

"Explain to me why you think that the differences in our houses means that we cannot take a walk together. Particularly since it doesn't mean that you cannot take advantage of my knowledge to improve your grade in Potions."

I stood as well. "All right. Since you're so insistent." I said, though I really didn't feel at all reluctant to walk with him.

We walked for half an hour, out to the Quidditch pitch, where the Hufflepuff team was practicing, and back.

We talked of nothing in particular -- the weather, the next Hogsmeade weekend -- and returned to the library feeling refreshed. We got back to work, but somehow something between us had changed. It was almost like we'd become friends.

We continued meeting, working on my Potions paper. He got a pass from Erlenmeyer and we started poring over the books in the Restricted section, looking for references to wolfsbane and lycanthropy.

We took study breaks, walking around the campus together, sometimes talking animatedly, sometimes enjoying a companionable silence.

Suddenly, the day came. My paper was finished. We'd have to go back to being Gryffindor and Slytherin, traditional enemies.

Or would we?

"You see," Severus began, almost shyly, like he expected me to refuse, "I'm not doing so well in Defense Against the Dark Arts. And since you're one of the best in that class . . ."

I nodded. I wasn't sure if he genuinely needed my help, or if this was just an excuse, but I was so happy that I wouldn't have to end my budding friendship with Severus that I didn't question it.

Our meetings became more frequent, eventually becoming daily. I only missed one day during that time - the day after the full moon. I never had much energy for anything that day. But I made suitable excuses, and Severus didn't realize that my absence had any importance other than that I'd been incredibly busy.

Everything between us changed once again the day Erlenmeyer handed back our the papers. My marks were merely adequate, but that was thrilling, as I'd fully expected to fail, but more thrilling was his note that, just perhaps, Severus and I were on to something.

We met, as usual, in the library to talk about Defense Against the Dark Arts. I brought my paper along to show Severus.

He nodded and smiled at me shyly. "We really might be onto something here, mightn't we?" He asked.

Somehow, I realized he was talking about more than wolfsbane theories. "Yes, I think so." I responded with a slightly bolder smile.

We took our usual study break slightly earlier than usual. Severus and I walked past the kitchens and he persuaded the house elves to part with some chocolate meringue pie - my favorite. We walked together to the top of the astronomy tower and sat there in silence while we ate.

And then, as the waning crescent moon rose in the sky over our heads, Severus Snape kissed me for the first time.

It was tentative at first, but as we both relaxed into the kiss, it grew bolder and more intimate.

Soon, I was lying on my back with Severus above me. His hands tangled in my curly brown hair as we drank of each other's mouths.

Finally, we needed to come up for air. And get back to work. So, reluctantly, we walked back down to the library.

We continued our work in companionable silence, and when it was time to go, we walked back down to the ground floor together. "I want to apologize for . . ." Severus began.

My heart dropped into the region of my intestines. "Apologize?"

I guess my disappointment showed on my face, "You're all right with it, then?"

I nodded, feeling myself blush. "More than all right."

"Oh." Severus gave a relieved sigh. "That's that, then." With those words, he leaned forward, pecking me lightly on the lips, and leaned away again. "Well, good night, Remus." The corners of his mouth turned up in a smile.

"Good night, Severus." I could feel myself grinning back.

Severus walked away, but I couldn't let him go. Not just yet. "Sev!" I called to him.

"Yes?"

"Same time tomorrow, right?"

Severus nodded, wordlessly.

We continued meeting to work on Severus's Defense Against the Dark Arts work over the next two weeks. Our 'study breaks' moved later and later in our study sessions. We never discussed why, but I knew that, for me, there was something indescribably wonderful about going back to the Gryffindor tower with the taste of Severus still fresh on my lips. And I hoped it was the same for him.

Unfortunately, the habit of putting off our snog sessions until the end of our study sessions was our undoing. It never occurred to me that when I returned to the Gryffindor tower, I looked like I'd been kissing.

And it did, and Sirius got curious, and found out that Severus and I were doing more than studying.

Which brings me to the night before the full moon. It was getting dark, and I wanted to be sure I was asleep before moonrise, as I did every night before a full moon. I'd left Severus, promising that we'd meet the next morning, but that meeting never happened.

The next time we saw each other . . .

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

I woke up in the hospital wing the morning of that fateful full moon. Poppy Pomfrey was hovering over my bed, clucking something about being more careful.

It hurt to move. It hurt to breathe. It hurt to blink.

"What?" I managed to croak out.

"He's awake. Thank God." Sirius came into view, then. "You all right, Moony?"

"Yeah. I think. What . . .?" I tried to sit up, but couldn't find the strength. I flopped back onto the bed.

"You'll be sore for a couple of hours, Remus." Poppy said looking at me concernedly. "You really did yourself a lot of damage."

"Did myself . . .?" I looked down, then, and saw that my chest and arms were laced with scratches. "I did that to myself?"

Sirius, the very soul of concern, said, "You were like a man possessed last night, Moony. What happened?"

"I took my sleeping draught and went to bed. That's the last thing I remember."

"You don't remember getting out of bed?" Poppy asked.

I shook my head.

"Trying to open the door of your room?"

"No."

"How about going to the window?"

I was starting to get frightened, and looked to Sirius for support.

"All right," Poppy said soothingly. "There's no use worrying about it unless it continues."

"Could it be related to. . . you know?" I asked.

Poppy made an apologetic face. "I'm sorry, Remus. But lycanthropy is a very poorly-understood condition. I guess we'll just have to wait until tomorrow night to see what happens then."

I spent the rest of the day up in my room while my cuts and scratches heal. I went in and out of consciousness, wishing I could find Severus. Severus will make it better, I promised myself as I fell asleep for the last time.

I was awakened by James shaking my shoulder gently. "Moony, you up?" He asked.

I struggled awake. "Yeah."

"Time to go."

By then, the cuts and scratches were almost healed, but James walked me out to the Whomping Willow anyway, just in case.

I touched the knot and headed for the tunnel, as I'd done so many times before.

Most of the nights of my transformation, I don't really remember anything about that night. Usually, all I remember is the pain of the transformation and then it's suddenly the next morning.

This night was different. Because my Mate came to the house.

Thank Selene! My Mate. And that thought was accompanied by a rush of happiness greater than anything I'd ever experienced before.

Then the happiness stopped and was followed by a wretched loneliness.

And that's all I really remember of that night. After the moon set, I awoke to find James there, waiting with me.

We began the trek back to the castle in silence. I was desperate to ask what had happened. Why I remembered being visited by my Mate, but I couldn't figure out where to begin.

We walked into the castle, and found ourselves face-to-face with Severus. "You . . . monster!" He yelled at me. "How many innocents have you killed, with your friends procuring fresh meat
for you?"

I didn't understand what he was talking about. "What? Sev? What happened last night?" I begged him.

He responded, a coldness that I'd never seen before in his black eyes. "Like you don't know. Monster."

He turned to walk away, and I felt my heart wrench out of my chest and go with him.

"SEVERUS!!" I howled in agony as I fell to the ground in a fetal position.

As I lay there, crying, I realized what had happened. Severus was my Mate. He'd been there, in the shack, and seen me as I truly was. What he'd seen had horrified him. And I was shattered.

Sirius and James finally had to carry me back to our room, where I lay on my bed, weeping, the curtains pulled shut around me.

The next weekend was a Hogsmeade weekend, and Severus and I had planned to ditch our friends and spend the day together. And now he'd never even want to look at me again.

Somehow, I pulled myself together enough to get through the rest of fifth year, and sixth, and seventh, just going through the motions. I watched Severus as he was drawn deeper and deeper into Lucius Malfoy's social circle. Wishing I could do something -- anything -- to stop his descent.

Sirius tried to convince me that he saved me from something. But I knew the truth. He hadn't saved me. He'd damned Severus.

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Next: Still more of Remus's recollections!