First of all, I want to tell the author of this fic fuck his/her self. I hate her/him and him/her stories are very offensive to me. HE/SHE is very offensive to me. I am not easily offended. I don't care about her/his feelings, I just want to MST the fuck out of his/her shitty fics, and be happy. I hope he/she reviews this and makes snide remarks about how funny it is, and how much he/she enjoyed laughing at me and my MST, cuz then I'll know he/she is really upset and I can live happily ever after. So take THAT!
From the far reaches of space I, Evil Diva, otherwise called Eddie, have assembled a crew of the badest good guys of anime(and Kiyone) onto my space ship called Vanity. Confused? You will get it soon enough. Mwahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Ontoward the best MST crew ever!
**************************************************
(Starting where we left of in the theatre)
Kiyone Eddie, you said this wasn't a lemon, right?
Eddie ...
All Eddie....!?
Eddie No I didn't! I said it wasn't gonna be about you is what I said.
Gene*whining* You said that the boss was gonna go easy on us!
Eddie Yeah, I didn't say it wasn't a lemon. Besides, It can't REALLY be qualified as a lemon anyway.
Vegeta*sarcastically* Oh, gee thanks, that makes me feel SOOOO much better.
Washu Will everyone shut up so this will go quicker? I have things to do.
Eddie Yeah, Shhh!
{Fic starts}
And how five years Misty got pregnant
Eddie I'll get things started. Wow, I just love his/her stunning powers of creativity.(said VERY sarcastically)
Washu Technically, they must either be a male or a female
Eddie*snort* Not this author. He/she sends out more signals than dolphins. Except dolphins're nicer
Kiyone So you're saying they're genderless?
Gene The dolphins or the author?
Kiyone The author, stupid. Eddie?
Eddie No... I'm saying that I honestly don't know if they're a male or female. C'mon folks, the fic won't wait!
(Gene and Vegeta slump down in their seats)
Disclaimer: I don't own Pocket Monsters.
Vegeta Well, OB-viously. It's 'Pokemon' you fucker, since you obviously have no intelligence whatsoever I doubt you've seen the Japenese 'Pocket Monsters'
Authors note: I like pie
Washu Well what does that have to do with the price of rice in China?
Eddie Absolutely nothing. It doesn't have anything to do with the story either.
(a statue mysteriously drops on Eddie's head)
Eddie Ouch! *glare* How'd you do that?
Washu*snort* I AM the number one scientific genius in the universe you know.
Eddie I'm beginning to regret THAT decision.
Washu(with satisfaction) I'm not
This is the story of how five years later Misty got pregnant, it takes place five magical years in the future, it pokemon land, or whatever it is called.
Gene 'Five magical years'? 'It pokemon land'?
Washu I think that was a typo
Kiyone Can he/she say 'run on sentences'?
Eddie And what's with 'Magical years'? I mean, how were they magical?
Vegeta*mumbles*
All What?
Vegeta I said 'fucker'. Is that alright with you?
AllOh
Well folks it's really a long and compucated story. Ash, Misty, Pikachu and Brock were walking peacefully down the path to some place in the Jhoto land. Brock stated she was very horny at the moment. So Pikachu gave Brock a good spanking. But that's besides the point.
Washu Hey! 'Compucated' is not a fucking word you-
Washu and Vegeta together Fucker
Eddie WASHU! Watch your mouth.
Washu*whine* Vegeta says it all the time
(Vegeta's eyes widen)
Eddie(tersely) Vegeta isn't twelve
" Hey, look a city, let's go to the hotel and eat!" Ash yelled happily. " And we can get it on there sweety." Misty whispered seductivly in Ash's ear. " Huh? What about Pikachu?" Asked Ash. Misty groaned at his stupidity.
Eddie*shaking in rage* Misty...would....never do...that.
(they all have to restrain her from attacking the screen)
Gene Yeah, and furthermore- Ash isn't THAT stupid and, well, gay.
" I'd like two rooms please." Ash said politely. The woman looked at Ash blankly as he talked to an old man sitting at one of the benches. "
Kiyone What woman. It just casually mentions 'woman' without saying anything about her.
Gene Ash is not that stupid
Exscuse me sir, I have the room keys." She yelled. " I knew that, silly." Ash giggled walking over. "
Washu*dutifully* 'Exscuse' is not a word, however 'excuse' is
Vegeta I hate this fucking fucker. It is offensive to Saya-jins, humans, and Pokemon
All It?
Vegeta The author. (AN:I got this from a review I saw)
All Oh
Misty, do you think this out fit makes me look gay?" Brock asked. Misty rasied and eye brow. " Why are you wearing a dress?" Asked Misty. " I'm trying to look gay, got a problem with it?" He grumbbled. Misty shook her head.
Washu*drawing a deep breath* 'Outfit' is just ONE word, you fag, 'Rasied' is NOT a WORD, 'RAISED' IS, and that is not how you spell 'grumbled' you fucking idiot.
(Washu pushed a button and a statue fell on Eddie's head)
Eddie OW! Goddammit, Washu, what was that for.
Washu*petulantly* You were gonna tell me to watch my mouth.
Kiyone*uneasily* And I have seen time and time again Brock's desperate and obvious like of girls. Please tell me how you surmised that he is or would want to look gay?
" I got the keys, and they even play a little electirc toon when you put them in the key hole."
Washu Fuck it. Goddamned idiot obviously doesn't know how to spell. I give up. And wrong kind of toon you fuckhead. It's tune
Vegeta See I told you
Ash said sticking it in the hole. It played a little electronic toon of I walked with you once apon a dream.
Kiyone*gasp* How dare he/she put that wonderful song into this repugnant story
" I know you I walked with you once upon a dream." Ash sang. Misty shuved Ash in one room and Brock in the other. Then walked into Ash's room.
Washu Goddammit, I lied. It's not shuved, you woinker, it's shoved
Ash was jumping around on the bed. " It really bounces Pikachu!" Ash giggled. " Pikachu!" Misty grabbed Pikachu and threw him in Brocks room." Now were all alone Ash." Misty said undoing her suspenders. " Oh poo."Moaned Ash.
All*blink* What the fuck!?
Vegeta That's just fucking wrong. If they're gonna have this Ash kid be a fucking retard, then it is very perverted and pedophilic to have Misty do that. This author is seriously sick in the fucking head.
All Here here
Gene This guy/girl gives us leches a bad name.
Kiyone *to author* Okay, you fuckhead, rape of any kind is strictly prohibited by GP. As soon as I am able to leave this ship you will be under arrest.
Misty removed her shirt and bra as well, and layed Ash down on the bed. " Misty what are you doing silly goose?" Ash asked. Misty took off his coat and shirt and began undoing his belt. Ash giggled. Misty ripped of his pants,and made Ash's hand take of her sorts. "( snikering) What are you doing Misty? I can get into my pajama's by my self you know." He said.
All*watching in horrified disbelief* Eww....!
Misty stared at him evilly as she pulled down her underwear. Ash watched her confusedly. " Are you going to take a bath?" He asked. Misty shook her head and pulled down Ash's boxeres. Ash laughed little girlishly and got off the bed. " That tickles." He giggled.
(Kiyone, Washu, and Eddie burst out crying)
Vegeta*in alarm* What?! What are you doing? *Panicking*
Eddie It's sooo wrong he said 'That tickles
Washu*sobbing* This has to be breaking some laws, doesn't it Kiyone?
Kiyone Yes. Universal ordinances 45321, 65099, (keeps babbling numbers incoherently)
(Gene and Vegeta sink lower into their seat and watched fearfully)
Misty lyed down on the bed and look seducivly at Ash. " Come here Ashy Washy." Misty purred. Ash shook his head and giggled. " I don't wanna."
(Renewed bawling)
All females Gross, she said Ashy Washy
Gene and Vegeta*glaring at screen Disgusting...
" So you like to play huh?" asked Misty. Ash nodded. Misty jumped up landing on top of Ash. Ash fell crashing down on his head. Misty started to kiss his visiouisly. Ash giggled. " Stop! That tickles!"
Eddie Oh my God
Washu Tsunami help us
Kiyone I've got to get hazard pay for this
Vegeta Mother-fucking son of a bitch
Gene What he said.
Misty kissed harder. Ash jumped up and ran to the other side of the room. Misty got up and chaced him around the room. " I don't want to play anymore!" Ash cried. He tripped with his face landing up. Misty fell face down on him. She moaned happily. " Oh Ash!" Misty started jumping up and down on Ash's genatalia. Ash giggled. " I once saw my mom and Professur Oak doing this once! My mom made the same noise, and Professur Oak grunted alot." Ash said.
(Washu had reverted back to to the dispassionate scientist)
Washu I have no idea where this guy hot his sex education, but it is a general rule that the penis must be erect before intercourse can occur. Seeing as Ash is ten, retarded in this fic, and not aroused but silly, I highly doubt that he has an erection, therefore what Misty is doing is highly impossible. Does that help girls?
Kiyone Slightly.
Eddie But it's still-
Kiyone Right in front of-
Eddie Us
Vegeta Will you stop it. My mate doesn't whine this much.
Eddie Well Bulma isn't watching this sorry excuse for a bad lemon. It's to horrible for her to imagine, that's why I took you instead of her. It would be too traumatic after Bra's birth.
Vegeta Kami-damned this author, you, and your boss.
Ash and Misty woke up on the floor. Misty was still on top of Ash. Misty held her stomach. " What a night!" Misty said happily. Ash looked around dazed. " I want some pickles and Ice cream."
Gene Dear God, that's not...
Eddie NO
Kiyone Uh-uh
Washu Unlikely
Vegeta I'm not sure about humanjs, but it is impossible for the male Saya-jin to become impregnated.
Eddie Same with humans
And nine months later Misty was pronounced pregnant. Ash fully adimited that he didn't know how it happend. Misty just laughed. Pikachu became a famous pimp and Brock, well no one really knows what happend to Brock that night, he just kind of was gone the next morning. Some say he ran away, some say he owns a strip club far to the east, others say he broke his neck trying to give himself a blow job and died. And the rest say, who really cares about Brock.
Kiyone Wait a minute, nine months later she was pronounced pregnant?
Eddie I would say this person was five, but a five year old doesn't write this badly. So I'm gonna say they just don't know what the hell they're talking about.
Vegeta And they've never been fucked.
Eddie That too.
Gene God I hate authors that don't know what the fuck they're talking about.
Kiyone Look, Washu's fainted
(everyone looks to where Washu has fainted from the stupidity of it.
Eddie Huh. I'll have a droid take her back. There's only a few seconds left anyway. Bear with me guys
The End and five years later, well, Misty got pregnant again.
Vegeta That was the dumbest fucking ending I've ever seen.
Gene The dumbest story.
Kiyone The dumbest fucking story.
Eddie I agree with you all. Let's go.
*****************************************************8
The doors open to let them out into fresh air, and nothing perverted.
"So who wrote that?" asked Vegeta, cracking his knuckles.
"I'm sorry, I'm not permited to reveal that information."
"You don't know"
"Haven't a clue"
"Thought so"
"SO how do you rate it?"
"Sucky"
"Very Sucky"
"INCREDIBLY SUCKY"
Washu sat up for a minute in the droids arms on her way to her room.
"Indescribably Stupid and sucky. Tell the guy that wrote it to fuck himself."
"'kay. So that's five 'VERY BAD's
"Uh-huh"
"Aright, you may retire to your rooms, shower, nap, relax, what ever. I also have a gym and a swimming pool on the bottom level. A museum on the Middle level, and an astrological observatory and mall on the Top level, all in the Left wing. The right wing levels are all rooms. Do whatever. I gotta go feed Meowth" Eddie started to leave.
"Eddie, that was going easy?"
She smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry, but yes. Most of the rest will be much worse."
Everyone trudged off to various places.
In front of Eddie a vid screen appeared. "How are they?" the deep evil voice of the boss asked.
"They are faring well. I must say that was a bit harsh, but they were only slightly fazed. I was startled as well. That was a despicable story."
"That's why I passed it along my dear. Tata"
Eddie mumbled, "It's gonna take alot more to break that bunch." And she fed Meowth, changed into, for her, what were more comfortable clothes (a bikini top that criss-crossed down her torso, and a short leather skirt) and went shopping.
*************************************
How DID you like it. Eddie is one gorgeous bitch isn't she? Good thing I really am her.
From the far reaches of space I, Evil Diva, otherwise called Eddie, have assembled a crew of the badest good guys of anime(and Kiyone) onto my space ship called Vanity. Confused? You will get it soon enough. Mwahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Ontoward the best MST crew ever!
**************************************************
(Starting where we left of in the theatre)
Kiyone Eddie, you said this wasn't a lemon, right?
Eddie ...
All Eddie....!?
Eddie No I didn't! I said it wasn't gonna be about you is what I said.
Gene*whining* You said that the boss was gonna go easy on us!
Eddie Yeah, I didn't say it wasn't a lemon. Besides, It can't REALLY be qualified as a lemon anyway.
Vegeta*sarcastically* Oh, gee thanks, that makes me feel SOOOO much better.
Washu Will everyone shut up so this will go quicker? I have things to do.
Eddie Yeah, Shhh!
{Fic starts}
And how five years Misty got pregnant
Eddie I'll get things started. Wow, I just love his/her stunning powers of creativity.(said VERY sarcastically)
Washu Technically, they must either be a male or a female
Eddie*snort* Not this author. He/she sends out more signals than dolphins. Except dolphins're nicer
Kiyone So you're saying they're genderless?
Gene The dolphins or the author?
Kiyone The author, stupid. Eddie?
Eddie No... I'm saying that I honestly don't know if they're a male or female. C'mon folks, the fic won't wait!
(Gene and Vegeta slump down in their seats)
Disclaimer: I don't own Pocket Monsters.
Vegeta Well, OB-viously. It's 'Pokemon' you fucker, since you obviously have no intelligence whatsoever I doubt you've seen the Japenese 'Pocket Monsters'
Authors note: I like pie
Washu Well what does that have to do with the price of rice in China?
Eddie Absolutely nothing. It doesn't have anything to do with the story either.
(a statue mysteriously drops on Eddie's head)
Eddie Ouch! *glare* How'd you do that?
Washu*snort* I AM the number one scientific genius in the universe you know.
Eddie I'm beginning to regret THAT decision.
Washu(with satisfaction) I'm not
This is the story of how five years later Misty got pregnant, it takes place five magical years in the future, it pokemon land, or whatever it is called.
Gene 'Five magical years'? 'It pokemon land'?
Washu I think that was a typo
Kiyone Can he/she say 'run on sentences'?
Eddie And what's with 'Magical years'? I mean, how were they magical?
Vegeta*mumbles*
All What?
Vegeta I said 'fucker'. Is that alright with you?
AllOh
Well folks it's really a long and compucated story. Ash, Misty, Pikachu and Brock were walking peacefully down the path to some place in the Jhoto land. Brock stated she was very horny at the moment. So Pikachu gave Brock a good spanking. But that's besides the point.
Washu Hey! 'Compucated' is not a fucking word you-
Washu and Vegeta together Fucker
Eddie WASHU! Watch your mouth.
Washu*whine* Vegeta says it all the time
(Vegeta's eyes widen)
Eddie(tersely) Vegeta isn't twelve
" Hey, look a city, let's go to the hotel and eat!" Ash yelled happily. " And we can get it on there sweety." Misty whispered seductivly in Ash's ear. " Huh? What about Pikachu?" Asked Ash. Misty groaned at his stupidity.
Eddie*shaking in rage* Misty...would....never do...that.
(they all have to restrain her from attacking the screen)
Gene Yeah, and furthermore- Ash isn't THAT stupid and, well, gay.
" I'd like two rooms please." Ash said politely. The woman looked at Ash blankly as he talked to an old man sitting at one of the benches. "
Kiyone What woman. It just casually mentions 'woman' without saying anything about her.
Gene Ash is not that stupid
Exscuse me sir, I have the room keys." She yelled. " I knew that, silly." Ash giggled walking over. "
Washu*dutifully* 'Exscuse' is not a word, however 'excuse' is
Vegeta I hate this fucking fucker. It is offensive to Saya-jins, humans, and Pokemon
All It?
Vegeta The author. (AN:I got this from a review I saw)
All Oh
Misty, do you think this out fit makes me look gay?" Brock asked. Misty rasied and eye brow. " Why are you wearing a dress?" Asked Misty. " I'm trying to look gay, got a problem with it?" He grumbbled. Misty shook her head.
Washu*drawing a deep breath* 'Outfit' is just ONE word, you fag, 'Rasied' is NOT a WORD, 'RAISED' IS, and that is not how you spell 'grumbled' you fucking idiot.
(Washu pushed a button and a statue fell on Eddie's head)
Eddie OW! Goddammit, Washu, what was that for.
Washu*petulantly* You were gonna tell me to watch my mouth.
Kiyone*uneasily* And I have seen time and time again Brock's desperate and obvious like of girls. Please tell me how you surmised that he is or would want to look gay?
" I got the keys, and they even play a little electirc toon when you put them in the key hole."
Washu Fuck it. Goddamned idiot obviously doesn't know how to spell. I give up. And wrong kind of toon you fuckhead. It's tune
Vegeta See I told you
Ash said sticking it in the hole. It played a little electronic toon of I walked with you once apon a dream.
Kiyone*gasp* How dare he/she put that wonderful song into this repugnant story
" I know you I walked with you once upon a dream." Ash sang. Misty shuved Ash in one room and Brock in the other. Then walked into Ash's room.
Washu Goddammit, I lied. It's not shuved, you woinker, it's shoved
Ash was jumping around on the bed. " It really bounces Pikachu!" Ash giggled. " Pikachu!" Misty grabbed Pikachu and threw him in Brocks room." Now were all alone Ash." Misty said undoing her suspenders. " Oh poo."Moaned Ash.
All*blink* What the fuck!?
Vegeta That's just fucking wrong. If they're gonna have this Ash kid be a fucking retard, then it is very perverted and pedophilic to have Misty do that. This author is seriously sick in the fucking head.
All Here here
Gene This guy/girl gives us leches a bad name.
Kiyone *to author* Okay, you fuckhead, rape of any kind is strictly prohibited by GP. As soon as I am able to leave this ship you will be under arrest.
Misty removed her shirt and bra as well, and layed Ash down on the bed. " Misty what are you doing silly goose?" Ash asked. Misty took off his coat and shirt and began undoing his belt. Ash giggled. Misty ripped of his pants,and made Ash's hand take of her sorts. "( snikering) What are you doing Misty? I can get into my pajama's by my self you know." He said.
All*watching in horrified disbelief* Eww....!
Misty stared at him evilly as she pulled down her underwear. Ash watched her confusedly. " Are you going to take a bath?" He asked. Misty shook her head and pulled down Ash's boxeres. Ash laughed little girlishly and got off the bed. " That tickles." He giggled.
(Kiyone, Washu, and Eddie burst out crying)
Vegeta*in alarm* What?! What are you doing? *Panicking*
Eddie It's sooo wrong he said 'That tickles
Washu*sobbing* This has to be breaking some laws, doesn't it Kiyone?
Kiyone Yes. Universal ordinances 45321, 65099, (keeps babbling numbers incoherently)
(Gene and Vegeta sink lower into their seat and watched fearfully)
Misty lyed down on the bed and look seducivly at Ash. " Come here Ashy Washy." Misty purred. Ash shook his head and giggled. " I don't wanna."
(Renewed bawling)
All females Gross, she said Ashy Washy
Gene and Vegeta*glaring at screen Disgusting...
" So you like to play huh?" asked Misty. Ash nodded. Misty jumped up landing on top of Ash. Ash fell crashing down on his head. Misty started to kiss his visiouisly. Ash giggled. " Stop! That tickles!"
Eddie Oh my God
Washu Tsunami help us
Kiyone I've got to get hazard pay for this
Vegeta Mother-fucking son of a bitch
Gene What he said.
Misty kissed harder. Ash jumped up and ran to the other side of the room. Misty got up and chaced him around the room. " I don't want to play anymore!" Ash cried. He tripped with his face landing up. Misty fell face down on him. She moaned happily. " Oh Ash!" Misty started jumping up and down on Ash's genatalia. Ash giggled. " I once saw my mom and Professur Oak doing this once! My mom made the same noise, and Professur Oak grunted alot." Ash said.
(Washu had reverted back to to the dispassionate scientist)
Washu I have no idea where this guy hot his sex education, but it is a general rule that the penis must be erect before intercourse can occur. Seeing as Ash is ten, retarded in this fic, and not aroused but silly, I highly doubt that he has an erection, therefore what Misty is doing is highly impossible. Does that help girls?
Kiyone Slightly.
Eddie But it's still-
Kiyone Right in front of-
Eddie Us
Vegeta Will you stop it. My mate doesn't whine this much.
Eddie Well Bulma isn't watching this sorry excuse for a bad lemon. It's to horrible for her to imagine, that's why I took you instead of her. It would be too traumatic after Bra's birth.
Vegeta Kami-damned this author, you, and your boss.
Ash and Misty woke up on the floor. Misty was still on top of Ash. Misty held her stomach. " What a night!" Misty said happily. Ash looked around dazed. " I want some pickles and Ice cream."
Gene Dear God, that's not...
Eddie NO
Kiyone Uh-uh
Washu Unlikely
Vegeta I'm not sure about humanjs, but it is impossible for the male Saya-jin to become impregnated.
Eddie Same with humans
And nine months later Misty was pronounced pregnant. Ash fully adimited that he didn't know how it happend. Misty just laughed. Pikachu became a famous pimp and Brock, well no one really knows what happend to Brock that night, he just kind of was gone the next morning. Some say he ran away, some say he owns a strip club far to the east, others say he broke his neck trying to give himself a blow job and died. And the rest say, who really cares about Brock.
Kiyone Wait a minute, nine months later she was pronounced pregnant?
Eddie I would say this person was five, but a five year old doesn't write this badly. So I'm gonna say they just don't know what the hell they're talking about.
Vegeta And they've never been fucked.
Eddie That too.
Gene God I hate authors that don't know what the fuck they're talking about.
Kiyone Look, Washu's fainted
(everyone looks to where Washu has fainted from the stupidity of it.
Eddie Huh. I'll have a droid take her back. There's only a few seconds left anyway. Bear with me guys
The End and five years later, well, Misty got pregnant again.
Vegeta That was the dumbest fucking ending I've ever seen.
Gene The dumbest story.
Kiyone The dumbest fucking story.
Eddie I agree with you all. Let's go.
*****************************************************8
The doors open to let them out into fresh air, and nothing perverted.
"So who wrote that?" asked Vegeta, cracking his knuckles.
"I'm sorry, I'm not permited to reveal that information."
"You don't know"
"Haven't a clue"
"Thought so"
"SO how do you rate it?"
"Sucky"
"Very Sucky"
"INCREDIBLY SUCKY"
Washu sat up for a minute in the droids arms on her way to her room.
"Indescribably Stupid and sucky. Tell the guy that wrote it to fuck himself."
"'kay. So that's five 'VERY BAD's
"Uh-huh"
"Aright, you may retire to your rooms, shower, nap, relax, what ever. I also have a gym and a swimming pool on the bottom level. A museum on the Middle level, and an astrological observatory and mall on the Top level, all in the Left wing. The right wing levels are all rooms. Do whatever. I gotta go feed Meowth" Eddie started to leave.
"Eddie, that was going easy?"
She smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry, but yes. Most of the rest will be much worse."
Everyone trudged off to various places.
In front of Eddie a vid screen appeared. "How are they?" the deep evil voice of the boss asked.
"They are faring well. I must say that was a bit harsh, but they were only slightly fazed. I was startled as well. That was a despicable story."
"That's why I passed it along my dear. Tata"
Eddie mumbled, "It's gonna take alot more to break that bunch." And she fed Meowth, changed into, for her, what were more comfortable clothes (a bikini top that criss-crossed down her torso, and a short leather skirt) and went shopping.
*************************************
How DID you like it. Eddie is one gorgeous bitch isn't she? Good thing I really am her.