The Saiyamek Project
"Dodoria! Dodoria,
wake up, you flabby lapdog!"
The very large, pink creature groaned and blinked his eyes
open. He knew very few beings in the
universe that would dare address him in such a manner. And since the Ginyu Force was in a different
galaxy, that left only one logical possibility.
"Yes, Lord Frieza?"
The small, feminine-looking prince gazed over at him from
his makeshift throne on his base near Planet Vegeta. He had one of those "I-have-a-devious-plan" looks on his
face. Dodoria groaned inwardly. That meant he was going to have to find a
way to talk the kinks out of yet another plan politely enough to avoid being
blown into oblivion. He hated doing
that. Zarbon had always been better than
he in the brains department.
"Well, Dodoria, I woke up this morning with an idea good
enough to surprise even Zarbon."
"If he were still around," Dodoria muttered. He silenced himself under Frieza's glare.
"Zarbon is dead, Dodoria.
He has been ever since that unfortunate incident with the Saiyan team on
the volcanic planet over two decades ago.
The Saiyans were executed by their loyal brethren. You were raised to his position at my right
hand. Who but my second in command
would you expect me to share all of my plans with? One of those stupid monkeys down there?" He pointed at Planet Vegeta.
"Forgive me, Lord Frieza," Dodoria said. "It won't happen again."
"See that it doesn't.
Now…where was I?" Frieza rubbed
his chin for a moment, in thought. "Oh,
yes. My idea. Let me start with a question.
Of all the races in the galaxy, which do you suppose would come closest
to being the direct opposite of the Saiyan race?"
Dodoria mentally searched through his database of the vast
types of creatures in the galaxy. After
a few moments, one jumped out at him.
"I'd have to say the Nameks," he said.
Frieza smiled. "My
thoughts exactly. Now…what can you tell
me about the traits of a Namek?"
Dodoria thought for a while. He wondered where this interrogation was leading. He decided to humor Frieza for safety's
sake.
"Well…they're green, for starters. They don't reproduce sexually, they don't eat, and they don't
fight when they can help it."
Frieza nodded. "Go
on."
"Well, they tend to be a gentle and wise race of
creatures. They do a lot of meditation
and stuff. Even when they fight,
there's a mentality to them that keeps them from losing control, which can make
a strong Namek a fairly worthy adversary to a common warrior."
Frieza raised an eyebrow.
"You're surprising me with your knowledge of the race, Dodoria, but
there's one thing you're still forgetting.
What's one of the most notable traits of the Namek race, physically?"
Dodoria sighed. He
went back over everything he'd already mentioned, then thought hard about
everything he'd read or been told about the Nameks. Finally, it dawned on him.
"They can regenerate," he said.
"Very good," Frieza said, giving two quiet, sarcastic
claps. Now…what can you tell me about
the Saiyan race?
Dodoria blinked at his master a few times, swallowed back a
grunt of confusion, and listed a few of the most notable Saiyan traits.
"Well, they're fierce warriors who grow as powerful in
defeat as they do in victory. They have
an inborn knack for fighting; it's almost like breathing to them. They're not very smart, but what they lack
in brainpower they make up for in brute strength and fighting skill."
Frieza rolled his eyes.
He was really starting to tick Dodoria off. Times like these made Dodoria wish that Frieza were as weak and
pathetic as he looked.
"You're forgetting the most important thing again,
Dodoria. Why is Zarbon dead?"
Dodoria was getting tired of this. What did that have to do with anything? "He was killed by those Saiyans on the volcanic planet."
Frieza nodded. "Mm
hmm…and how were they able to kill him?
Certainly no ordinary four Saiyans could defeat a warrior like Zarbon."
Dodoria slapped his forehead. How could he have forgotten?
"Of course…they do that weird transformy thing where they turn into
giant apes…"
"…Whenever there's some kind of signal light to trigger the
change," Frieza finished for him.
"Now…you're probably wondering where I'm going with this."
Hit that nail on the head, didn't he? Dodoria
thought. "Yes, Lord Frieza."
"Well…what would you think about attempting to combine the
two races into one creature?"
Dodoria held back his laughter. Here come the kinks, he thought. "Umm…Lord Frieza? How
would that be possible? The Nameks
reproduce asexually, don't they?"
Frieza gave him that look again. That look always made him feel stupid. He hated that.
"Dodoria…come here."
Dodoria hesitantly stepped toward Frieza, receiving a slap
across the face for his trouble.
"You idiot! Do you
honestly think I'd be stupid enough not to remember that? Even if they could, there's too much of a
risk involved. I wouldn't go to the
trouble of making the two races reproduce and wait for the development and
birth period if there was a chance of getting a weakling or an unmotivated
fighter. I want a creature who has all
the best traits of both races."
It was Dodoria's turn to raise an eyebrow. There had obviously been a lot of thought
put into this one. He was starting to
get interested. "That would take an
incredible amount of genetics, though, wouldn't it?" he asked.
Frieza nodded. "That
it would, Dodoria. Fortunately, I've
got the greatest minds in the universe at my disposal. It pays being the strongest fighter in the
universe. You've got an awful lot of
influence."
Dodoria nodded.
There was no denying that.
"Excellent plan, Lord Frieza.
That kind of creature would definitely help in…evacuating…planets for
resale. And if they were genetically
produced, they could probably be put under mental control as well. That would eliminate the risk of an uprising
like we've been wary of with the Saiyans lately."
"Let's not get carried away, Dodoria. We've been taking care of that by
eliminating the first-class Saiyan warriors once they get too powerful to
handle in large groups. We just keep
the royalty and the heads of military alive and make it look like some of their
warriors meet unfortunate ends on some of their jobs, and we eliminate that
risk without causing an uprising ourselves."
Dodoria grunted. He
still didn't think it would be a bad idea to get rid of the Saiyans after the
first creature had been created. They
could clone it after its genesis, so finding new donors wouldn't be a
problem. He'd bring that up later, though,
when Frieza was in more of a listening mood.
Donors…there's another problem. "So…how do you propose that we go about finding the right
"parents" for this…Saiyamek?"
Frieza grinned. "Saiyamek, huh? I like that. Clever,
Dodoria. I was wondering when you'd get
to that question. That's where you come
in."
"Where I come in?"
"Is there an echo in here, or are you just deaf? Yes, where YOU come in. You're my second in command. Don't you think there ought to be some responsibilities
that come with that position? You
didn't think you'd be sitting around on your fat, pink butt for the rest of
your life, did you? I want you to talk
to some of our planners, geneticists, geographers, and historians and figure
out how to go about this…Saiyamek Operation."
Dodoria would have been extremely upset would it not have
been for the fact that he'd been given his first project in months. "It will be done, Lord Frieza. You can count on me."
"You'd better hope so, Dodoria, for your sake. I'm sure you don't want to see Zarbon again
that soon."
Dodoria managed a "No, my lord," in response before bowing
and leaving to begin his new job. He
could ignore Frieza's infuriating insults and terrifying threats today. Things wouldn't be very boring around there
for much longer…
