Happi Days 2:  ch. 1 Full circle                         Defectron

Notes from the author: This is a sequel to the fanfic Happi days which in my opinion was one of the best Ranma fanfics made. For those who don't know about Happi days here's what happened. Happosai decided to get revenge on Ranma once again. Ranma had stormed off in a rage because his emotions were enhanced by some strange drug Mousse had given him. But this didn't stop Happosai. Happosai had gotten 400 gallons of concentrated spring water from the spring of drowned Bishojo bride. This water not only changed the persons body but their personality as well to be that of a Bishojo bride. Happosai proceeded to change the entire cast of Ranma along with much of the Japanese populace into bishojo. Ranma was off in china and missed the fun. Unfortunately for happosai he was also inadvertently using water from the spring of drowned Amazon. Some of which got on Kasumi.  Kasumi ended up getting Happosai with his own water. Afterwards Happosai ended up marrying Mikado of all people and last we left her she was pregnant with his baby. His is my first Ranma fanfic. The original Happi days was by Gregg Sharp and used with permission. You can find it at http://www.fanfiction.net/index.fic?action=story-read&storyid=12278 you should probably read the original first. It's long but its worth it.

Insert disclaimer here

            A dark memory passed through the mind of Pantyhose Taro as he walked the streets of Nerima.

Flashback: Happosai shouted "You hear me Pantyhose Taro! You shall forever more be known as Pantyhose Taro even on your Pantyhose Taro tombstone!"

            He came out of the flashback violently and shouted "NOOOOO I must not let it happen!". Pantyhose Taro had been to Nerima before but he had the strangest feeling that something was wrong. For one thing there seemed to be an above average amount of beautiful women in town.  Many of them seemed to be eyeing him which made him uneasy. "What's with them?" he asked himself as he looked in the direction of a crowd of girls. He turned his head and was met with a brown haired girl with a bokken wearing a Kendo outfit. "Ummm is there something going on here that I should know?"

            "You……" she stared at him. Pantyhose started to back away. "A man of such noble appearance is not common. You are surely a prize worth taking for the blue rose of Furinken high!"

            "What?!?" he said backing away.

            "Pantyhose belted man if you defeat me in combat I would date with you!" She began to swing her bokken at Pantyhose who dodged. After dodging many more blows he whipped out some pantyhose snagging the bokken and kicking her away.

            "Now listen I don't have time for this! I'm not here to date with anyone. And if you continue bothering me I won't be responsible for what happens. I don't show mercy to anyone, not even girls."

            "Ahhh such stoicism. I like that in a man."

            "Listen isn't there anyone else? You can bother?"

            "There is one other man. The shining knight Ryoga! Alas I cannot decide! Ryoga or the pantyhose belted man! I love you both to much to part with either one!"

            "Pig boy?" pantyhose barely stammered as she glomped onto him. Pantyhose spotted a puddle and stepped in it. In the next instant there was a huge chimaric beast where the brown haired man with the pantyhose belt one stood. The girl suddenly realized that she was holding a giant hairy hand. It was connected to a sixteen foot tall hairy beast with a yaks head, feathered wings, tentacles and an eel for a tail.

            "GASP! So the very devil himself would challenge my love! Never fear pantyhose belted man! The blue Rose of –" WHAM! Pantyhose sent her careening into a brick wall. He then noticed all the screaming women and decided it would be better to travel by air.

            Ranma reflected on the past events. Genma and Soun were both giggling looking at some teen girl magazine "Oh he's so dreamy!" Ranma heard Genma say. He shuddered. He had remembered the first night he had spent with his new dad. Watching them look and act like preppy teenaged girls that first night had almost been to much for Ranma. He didn't remember much but Akane had told him that he had just sat there with a blank expression on his face with his left eye twitching for several hours. Of course this shock was nothing compared to what his shock was over the new Happosai and Kuno.

            Ranma had been so greatfull to Mousse that he was the first one he used the magic tea kettle on. He shuddered to think what would of become of him if he had stayed. Suddenly he heard a loud crash from the other end of the dojo. Soun and Genma both screamed like the teenaged girls they were and hid behind Ranma. Ranma could make out the outline of a familiar huge hulking beast walking through the dust cloud. It lifted up a teapot and poured it over its head and it changed back into Taro who some how managed to be fully clothed even though his clothes were shredded apart every time he transformed.

            "What is the meaning of this cross dresser?"

            "What are you talking about you nylon obsessed maniac?"

            "I had come here to find Happosai to get my name changed again. But that's not what my question is. My question is this…"

            "Oh Pantyhose belted boy! I followed the Ma-Oh* who had taken you here. I was so worried! I feared that he had shredded your beautiful skin on his talons…my noble pantyhose belted prince!"

            "That is what I'm talking about cross dresser! What is the meaning of this? When I came here there were a lot more women then usual and all of them were acting strangely especially this lunatic. Get off of me woman! Listen carefully! That demon king and I are one and the same! We are of the same body and soul! Do you understand me?"

            "The…The demon king….he owns your body and soul! Oh no! My poor pantyhose prince! Fear not! The blue rose of Furinken high shall slay the demon king and rescue you! I go forth into battle! I shall bring it's head to you on a silver platter my love!" with that she ran back out the hole in the wall.

            Ranma was just standing there with his mouth open. No matter how many times he saw it he would never get used to it. "Cross dresser….I know either you or Happosai or both have something to do with this…."

            "Well you see it's like this….." began Ranma.

            One hour later…..

(MaOh means dark lord or demon king*)

            "I see…the path of a martial artist….even a crossdressing martial artist is wrought with peril!" said Pantyhose. Ranma bashed him over the head and shouted "Quit calling me cross dresser! Half the women around here used to be men! There's nothing special about it!"

            "I'll stop when you stop calling me pantyhose related names."

            "But your wearing one around your waste…." Said Ranma blandly.

            "Feh- I have no more time to waste with you cross dresser! My quarrel isn't with you now tell me where is Happosai?"

            Ranma just realized he hadn't told him what happened to Happosai "Ahahaha…well it's funny you should ask about Happosai…" said Ranma with a large sweatdrop going down the side of his head.

            "You aren't trying to hide him from me are you?"

            "No it's just that….Well follow me. This has to be scene to be believed."

            Mikado and Happosai both lived in a beach house next to the ocean. Happosai had taken on the more feminen name of Happiko. Mikado was still unaware of Happosais past and Happosai was going to be due with his baby very soon. While Happosai had changed in both personality and body some aspects of the old Happosais personality remained. For example Happiko had a very large collection of pantys and bras the she made Mikado by for her. Mikado had consented to doing this to curb her habit of stealing them.

            She was happily baking lingerie shaped cookies in the kitchen when she heard the doorbell ring. She opened the door and said "Oh if it isn't Ranma and….Pantyhose it's been along time! Come in and have some cookies."

            "What's going on cross dresser? Where's Happosai and how does that woman know my name? Wait Happosai must of told her about me! It's bad enough he gave me this name and now he talks about me behind my back!"

            "Get a clue! Your almost as dense as the Tomboy! That is Happosai!" Taro looked over at the blond haired woman in the kitchen happily getting cookies out of the oven.

            "You'll have to try better then that cross dresser! There's no way that beautiful woman could be that old fart!"

            Then Pantyhose saw what the cookies looked like. "Here. I was making these for my husband but I'm sure there'll be enough for you two."

            Taro picked up a bra shaped cookie and said "So….it's true…I…I can't believe it! Your Happosai!"

            "Ummm well I guess you could say that….It's kind of embarrassing…"

            A broad grin stretched across Pantyhose face and he pointed at her and burst out laughing. He was rolling on the floor with tears streaming down his face. "HAHAHAHA! I DON'T BELIEVE IT! HAPPOSAI THE HAPPY HOUSWIFE! THIS IS RICH! I THINK I'LL CALL YOU HOUSEWIFE HAPPY FROM NOW ON! SO HAPPI WHAT WAS IT LIKE DOING IT WITH A GUY? AHAHAHAHAHAHA! BOY DO I FEEL SORRY FOR THE SAP WHO MARRIED YOU…."

            Tears were brimming on her eyes and she burst out crying. "It aint easy you know….Slaving away at the oven all day….Me a preganant woman! He doesn't appreciate me and neither do you Waaaaah!"

            Ranma was beginning to get the feeling this might not have been such a  good idea. She pulled a Happo fire burst special out of her bra and flung it at Taro and Ranma.

            Mikado was walking back to his house with several women by his side. He saw one of the windows blow out in an explosion. If his wife found out she'd probably sap his streingth again. "Ummm I just remembered I have a dentist appointment see you all alter…" Mikado ran away from several disappointed women.

            Mikado burst in the door to see the scorched Ranma and Taro with his wife crying in the corner. "What is it my dear? Did those men do anything to you?"

            "Waaaaaaahhhh they called me names and made fun of my cooking waaaah!"

            "Hey! I aint got nothing to do with this! This was all Panty boys idea!"

            "You were the one who brought me here cross dresser. No human could see a situation like this and not react like I had!" the grin started to creep back over his face. Taro was barely suppressing his giggles.

Later

Ranma crawled up out of the trashcan and pulled Taro out of the other one. "You idiot. Stupid pantyhose wearing…"

"OH NO!" a horrified look had suddenly crossed Taros face.

"What is it Panty Princess?"

"Ranma this is serious! I know what Happosai is going to do! When she has her baby…..When she has her baby…that baby will have to deal with the same horrors that I dealt with!"

"Wait a minute you think she's going to name the kid pantyhose or something?"

"Yes…I cannot allow another to befall the same fate which I did!"

Later that night

            Ranma was asleep with  Akane as they had recently gotten married. Suddenly he felt a cold splash of water come down on his head. "Hey! What'd you do that for? And why the hell are you in our room at this time of night. Pantyhose it's 3:00 in the morning this had better be good." Ranma now in girl form shouted. Taro stood at the foot of the bed with the bucket.

            Akane woke up. The old Akane probably would of attacked him with a mallot but the tomboy Akane was gone. Ranma still called her Tomboy out of habit but it really wasn't applicable anymore. "Pantyhose? What are you doing here?" asked Akane.

            "Ranma this is no time to sleep!" shouted Pantyhose.

            "Wow you didn't call me cross dresser. This must be serious."

            "It is! I overheard a discussion between Mikado and Happosai…"

Flashback

            "What were you doing today dear?" asked Happiko.

            A sweat drop went down Mikado's head and said "Ummm I uhh…was teaching orphans how to skate! Yeah that's it! I'm sorry I didn't tell you! Please don't use pressure points on me again!"

            "I know your lying but never mind that. I came up for the perfect names for our baby!" As she was saying this somehow the background became all flowery with little birds tweeting. If it's a boy I'm going to name him Pantyhose Ranma! And if it's a girl I'll name her Brassier Ranko!"

            "I refuse to have such ludicrous names for my children!" protested Mikado. Happi quickly touched a couple key points on his body and he was on the ground twitching "W-what w-wonderful names the heavens have blessed my children with!"

            "Oh I'm so glad your happy with the names I picked honey!" she squeezed the twitching Mikado.

End flashback

            "WHAT? The old freaks using my name to name his kids! Taro you were right! We've got to stop him or her or oh forget it the freak needs to be stopped!" Visions of Happosai and Mikado's demented children putting the name of Ranma to shame with all sorts of dastardly deeds went through Ranmas mind. True his dad and Soun hadn't turned out too badly but they didn't have Happosai as a mother with the added influence of Mikado.

            "Oh you two are making such a big fuss over this. I think it's cute that she's naming her children after you!"

            "Well I don't!" both of them replied and with that they both jumped out the window.

            Ranma knew that any child of those two would probably turn out to be just as freaky as his or her parents. Ranma imagined the kid bounding across the rooftops with women after him while shouting "What a haul!"  Or on the ice skating rink seducing all those women. Or worse yet what if their child inherited both their bad habits. It would be a new evil like the world had never seen and it would have his name! The name of Ranma would be cursed throughout the ages.

            When they arrived outside of Mikado's beach house Ranma asked "Umm you do have a plan on how to get Happi to change the name? I mean look what happened all those times you tried to get the old freak to change yours."

            "Hehehe….cross dresser you are so naïve just as I was. All those other times I tried using force against him…but this time I'm going to use my brain. He'll never suspect my clever plan until it's to late!"

            " Wow you got me curious! So what is it? A hypnotic drug? Blackmail?"

            "A disguise kit!" he shouted holding up a small blue suitcase! "This little tiny white bald guy with a star on his shirt gave it to me."

           

            There was a ring at the doorbell. Mikado opened the door and saw two people standing outside. They looked like badly disguised versions of Ranma and Taro but Mikado's head was still swinging from bumping it on a large metal object when he fell down from the pressure point attack earlier so he didn't notice it. Taro had a big fake mustache that seemed to want to slip off his face and was wearing glasses like the ones Mousse wears. Ranma was wearing a leather jacket, a bandanna and sunglasses.

            "Ummm hello, were with the illegal name enforcement agency division six. We had reports that you were going be naming your child Pantyhose Ranma."

            "Illegal name enforcement? I never heard of any…" Ranma slammed Akanes old mallot down on Mikado's head knocking him out cold.

            Happiko came to the door and saw her husbands head propped up with a cane under his chin sitting in a chair. His eyes had both changed into X's "Ahh you must be the lady of the house. Your husband told us the name was your idea. You see were with the illegal name enforcement agency division six. According to some anonymous sources you were going to name your child Pantyhose Ranma. That name is illegal in Japan for several reasons." Taro said as he pulled several charts and grafts out of his suitcase.

Taro began spouting all sorts of nonsense about bed wetting and claustrophobia when Happi pulled her husband to her feet and said "Dear we need to move to China!"

"Chinnaaa…Bud..I wanna sweeepp more…I donwanna go do shcoolll…" Mikado muttered as she slung him over her shoulder and bounded out the door.

Both Ranma and Taro watched them leave. "Damn stubborn old man! I won't rely on brains anymore! I'm pounding some sense into him!" Taro pulled out a bucket and poured it over his head. He then took off in pursuit of Happosai.

"Wait you idiot you might hurt the baby!" shouted Ranma but it was to late. Taro was beyond reason and was flying after Happiko in hot pursuit.

Ryoga fell out of a garbage trucks compactor onto a heap of trash and looked up in the sky with tears in his eyes "Curse this direction of mine! Where am I now? And how did I end up in a trash compactor?"

"You were one of them that was mentioned by Herb aren't you? You're the pig boy."

 "Who are you? And if you call me that again you're a dead man!" shouted Ryoga looking at the hooded figure.

"I am an assassin hired to capture the one known as Happosai. I will spare your life if you bring me to him. I have made 1000 kills and haven't failed once. They call me the blue god of death!" said the hooded figure in a raspy voice.

"Are you related to Kuno?"

"Shut up and take me to Happosai! I was ordered to bring him alive but may kill anyone who gets in my way. Go on bring me to him pig boy!" He pulled two quadrosabers out of nowhere.

"Are you threatening me?"

"I was threatening you but now I'm just mocking you pork pot bellie! Bacon breath! Pork chops pete! Barbeque Bob! Oh look at me I'm babe the pig oink! oink! oink! I hope farmer brown doesn't want ham!" The hooded figure was walking on all fours impersonating a pig.

"WHY YOU!!!!!"

Suddenly a Ryoga heard a crash as a blond haired woman he recognized as the new Happosai collapsed by a pile of trash. Mikado was slung over her shoulder. Ryoga ran over and started shaking them. "Hey wake up!"

"Oh it's you….I was running from Pantyhose but I can't go anymore…I think I'm going into labor! Can you deliver the baby?"

"YOUR WHAT? YOU WANT ME TO DO WHAT?"

"Deliver the baby. All you have to do is lift up my skirt and then you…." Ryoga had fainted. The mysterious cloaked figure with the quadrosabers was still heading for them.

It looked at Happosai and said "Hmmm that woman's aura…A clever trick Happosai. But in the end turning yourself into a woman to hide from me was of no use. I can see beyond any tricks you may use."

Mikado had come to and said "What's going on? Where am I?" he looked down and recognized Ryoga as that guy who was harassing the pig tailed girl all those years ago when they had a match. "What did you do to my wife you scoundrel?" he said shaking the limp Ryoga.

"He's not the one you should be worried about. That thing in the hood wants to kill me!"

"No actually I just want to capture you."

            "Enough! Fiend! You lay a hand on my wife and you'll have Mikado Sanzenen to deal with!"

            "Very well then. I will give you one chance to defend your "wife" hehehe…But be warned no man has ever survived in battle with me for more then ten minutes."

            If only they were on the ice rink he could lay this bastard low thought Mikado. He could still fight on regular terrain but not nearly as well. The cloaked figure was twirling one of the quadrosabers on one finger. The twirling began to intensify in speed. It flung the quadrosaber at Mikado who dodged. The whirring blade chopped two trees in half and came back to his finger still whirling. "That was just a little demonstration. I wasn't trying to his you that time. Now lets see how well you dodge."

            He sent it down at Mikado faster this time and it nicked his shoulder. It came back around again hitting his side and then his arm and leg. It was about to come back to the hooded figures hand when Pantyhose smashed through the fence. The hooded figure turned his head to look at him and said "What the hell…" before he cold say and more the blade came down impaling him on his own weapon. He fell to the ground and said "Errggghh…don't think this is over…You may strike me down a thousand times but I shall return!  We'll be coming back for you Happosai…I'll be coming for you and your little piggy too!…" and with that his body dissolved into a strange green fluid on the ground.

            At the sound of him saying piggy Ryoga popped back up and shouted "You bastard! At least I'm not a green puddle on the ground! Take that and some of this!" he started stomping on the puddle.

            Pantyhose pulled a kettle out of nowhere and dumped it on himself. Once again he mysteriously got his clothes back when he became a human again. "What the hell is going on here?"

            "Help! I don't know how to deliver a baby and neither does that unconscious guy! If you deliver the baby you have my permission to name it! Oh crap I'm bleeding." Mikado looked at his various wounds and fainted right there from the shock.

            "Hmmm it looks like it's up to me." Said Pantyhose.

Ranma ran around the corner in time to see Pantyhose with a newborn baby boy. He lifted the child to the moonlight and said "I name this child Awesome Taro!"

The next day

            "I gave that child the name I always wanted. It makes a guy feel all fuzzy if you know what I mean." Said Pantyhose looking dramatically at the setting sun.

            Happosai had protested the name but apparently Mikado and Taro went and made it his official name while she was still out of it.

            "So umm can I ask you something?" asked Ranma

            "What is it this time cross dresser?"

            "Just why did you come to Nerima pantyhose princess?"

            "Damn I completely forgot!" Pantyhose Taro began to bang his head against a tree in frustration.