Authors Notes: (black crowe speaking) Northstar and I
decided to write a cute Chibi story filled with Relena
bashing of course. Duo chibi's name is for all the
families and survivors in New York, Washington D.C.
and Pennsylvania after the horrible terrorist attack.
This is America dammit, and we will hunt down whoever
was behind the attack and kick their ass!
Rating: PG, For cussing
Heero sat typing at his laptop as usual, plotting to
destroy things and
what not. On the other hand, his partner Duo Maxwell,
who had become
hypnotised by the monotonous tapping sound the keys
made as Heero's
fingertips danced across them, sat on a stool with his
chin resting on
one hand.
"This is too boring Heero!" he whined. "Let's go
outside and do
something! Come on, you remember...outside...where
that big yellow thing is, the
sun!" he pleaded.
Heero just shrugged and ignored him. Duo let out a
long dramatic sigh
and stood up. He shuffled over to the sliding glass
door. Their latest safe
house had a remarkable view. The backyard was lush
with green foliage
and beautiful flowers. Duo pressed his face up against
the glass and peered
out.
Something that seemed to be buzzing about caught his
attention. He
smiled and raced over to where Heero sat. Grabbing the
stoic pilot by the
wrist, he hauled him over to the window.
Heero let out a surprised grunt.
"Hn! What are you doing Maxwell!?" he demanded.
"Look Heero! LOOK!!" he squealed pointing to the
backyard. "We have
wild chibis in our backyard!!"
"So?" Heero retorted, "What do you want me to do, get
a fly swatter?"
"No Heero! You don't kill chibis!" Duo explained,"You
catch them and
make them pets."
Heero rolled his eyes and looked at the braided pilot
in disgust.
"You don't have time for a pet!" he sneered.
"But Heeeerrrrooooo!" Duo whined, sounding
disturbingly enough like a
certain annoying princess. "I want a chibi! Let's
catch a chibi! Pllleeeaaassseeee!!!"
Heero couldn't take the whining anymore and finally
gave in.
"If it'll shut you up, then we'll catch a chibi." he
sighed, at least
if Duo had something to occupy himself with, then
maybe he wouldn't be so
annoying, Heero thought.
Duo barrelled down the hall and threw open the door to
the hall closet.
He started chucking things right and left. Heero
walked up behind him and
narrowly missed being hit in the head with a flying
book.
"Where is it!?!?" Duo screeched. "Ahhh!" he exclaimed,
obviously
finding
what it was he had been searching for.
"My chibi catching net!" he grinned, holding up a
little butterfly net.
Heero just gave him a puzzled look, then picked up the
book that had
whizzed by his head earlier.
A Guide To The Many Wonderful Varieties of Chibi, he
read.
"Oooh, that'll help us catch the best kinds!" Duo said
examining the
book.
"We don't want any old kind of chibi." he smirked.
Well, maybe this wouldn't be so bad, Heero thought,
he'd just let Duo
go about his business of chibi catching, and he would
sit back and quietly
read the book...or so he thought.
Duo stormed back to the sliding glass door and
silently opened it. He looked left, then right, and
waved Heero to come along.
Heero sighed. Duo was acting as if they were
infiltrating some secret OZ base, and then he
shrugged. If this would make Duo happy and not to
mention occupied, then he would go along with it.
Both pilots moved a long the wall of the house in
stealth mode, and Duo spotted the little chibi he had
seen earlier land in the grass by a tree. That was the
perfect opportunity, and Duo took it!
He ran towards the chibi with all his speed and tossed
the net over it. The poor chibi had only the chance to
look up in fright at the braided giant who was
thundering towards him.
Duo triumphantly raised his fist in the air and picked
up the net. He examined the snarling chibi and could
have sworn he heard the chibi growling out obsenities.
Duo's eyes bugged out and he shrieked. That shut up
the chibi.
"HEERO! IT LOOKS LIKE YOU!" Duo exclaimed, and Heero
took a close look at the chibi. Heero gasped. It did
look just like him!
"Get the book! What does it say?!" Duo asked, and
Heero flipped through the pages.
"It's a 'Heero Chibi'," Heero said, confirming what
Duo had said.
"Does it have any friends?" Duo cooed, as he tried to
pet the chibi.
"OW! Damn thing stabbed me!" Duo said, waving his hand
back and forth. Heero smirked.
"It seems that we both hate braided bakas!" Heero
replied with a chuckle, and Duo just glared.
"It says here," Heero said, changing the subject,
"That Heero chibis like..."
"What Heero? What do they like?!" Duo asked.
"They like Duo chibis!" Heero said, his face showing
disbelief.
"Duo chibis!" Heero exclaimed. "What the hell is a Duo
chibi!?" he said
flipping through the book. "It better not be what I
think it is!" he
growled.
Sure enough, as he flipped to the page containing info
on the Duo
chibi, there in bold color was a picture of the little
pest with a braid.
"Aww! It's so cute!" Duo squealed. "I want one of
those! You can have
this poopy one!" he smirked, holding the captured
Heero chibi underneath
Heero's nose.
The spiky haired pilot backed away instantaneously as
the small
creature waved a mini light saber at him.
"I don't want that! This was your idea, you keep it!"
he snarled.
"Well, I'll look after this one and you can catch me a
Duo chibi!" Duo said firmly.
"Fine!" Heero grunted, ripping the small butterfly net
from Duo's hand, anything to get away from that baka,
he thought.
Heero slowly crept into the bushes. He heard the
faintest sound of
laughter and glanced over his shoulder expecting Duo
to be giggling at
him. To his surprise, Duo was too busy battling with
the Heero chibi, who had gotten ahold of his braid
and was wrapping it around his head.
"Baka." Heero muttered under his breath, then stopped
suddenly when he
heard the laughter again. He looked up to see a tiny
little braid
dangling in his face.
The little Duo chibi was seated on a flower petal and
was laughing it's
little head off at the antics it's beloved Heero chibi
was pulling on
the giant braided beast.
"Now I have you." Heero whispered, closing in for the
kill. He brought
the net down over the flower, and smiled triumphantly.
However, his victory was short-lived when he realized
that the Duo
chibi had escaped him. He pulled the net off the
flower and gasped as a bee
angrily buzzed out of it. Heero tried to dodge the
little bugger as
best he could. He turned around to evade it, but ended
up face down in the
mud when he tripped over the garden hose.
Heero groaned and sat back up, wiping the mud from his
face.
"Ouch!!!" he yelped, clutching at his nose. Tears of
pain began to form
in his eyes and he blinked them back.
"That son-of-a-bitch stung me!!" he cried with much
animosity. He
tilted his head upwards to see the Duo chibi hovering
over him, laughing like
a hyena.
"That's it ya little shit! Come here!!" he cried as he
lunged at the winged mini likeness of Duo.
After five unsuccessful attempts, Heero stalked back
over to where Duo
and the Heero chibi were.
"What happened to you?" Duo asked, taking in Heero's
haggard
appearance. He was almost completely caked with mud
and had a large welt on his
nose. He had also acquired quite a few scrapes, when
his last attempt at
catching the Duo chibi landed him the rose bushes.
"Gimme that thing!" he said, snatching the Heero chibi
out of the air.
"What are you going to do with him?" Duo asked, a
worried expression on
his face.
"Oh, don't worry about your precious Heero chibi!" the
zero pilot spat.
"Read the book!" he sneered as he threw it at Duo's
head.
It smacked the braided pilot in the face and he caught
it before it
fell to the ground.
"Duo chibis like Heero chibis." Duo read. "Oh!" he
exclaimed, now realizing the plan.
Heero raised the little Heero chibi into the air and
began swinging it
around like it was a dog treat.
"Here ya little bastard! Come and get it!"
The poor little Heero chibi was getting rather dizzy
and let out a
small yelp.
[1] The Duo chibi's ears pricked up and his head
cocked in the direction of
the plea for help. From out of the bushes popped many
Duo chibi heads.
All facing the giant wearing a green tank top, who had
captured their
beloved Heero chibi.
Heero's eyes widened in fear. He didn't know that the
Heero chibi he held was big pimpin'! The little Heero
chibi assumed Heero thought that, and he crossed his
arms angrily.
Duo watched from behind as a lone Duo chibi made it's
way towards Heero, and he realized that the Heero
chibi was a one chibi kind of guy. Heero quickly
snatched the Duo chibi and Duo cheered with glee.
"You caught them Heero! Excellent!" Duo said, and
snatched the Duo chibi from Heero.
"It's soo cute! And it looks just like me!" Duo cooed.
The little Duo chibi chuckled and rubbed his face
against Duo's. Heero looked at the Heero chibi and
they both sighed with defeat.
*Hours later after Chibi shopping*
"Ok, checklist time!" Duo said with a grin. Heero sat
on one of the sofas in their safe house with Duo and
Heero chibi in tow.
"'Your Very Own Duo Chibi Guide'?" Duo asked.
"Check." Heero replied.
"'Your Very Own Heero Chibi Guide'?"
"Check."
"Chibi nest?"
"Check." Heero said, now getting irritated. "Duo we
did this twice! We have everything!" Heero promised,
and Duo smiled.
"I hope we have everything." Duo replied, and he and
Heero watched as Heero and Duo chibi explored their
new little makeshift home they had bought for them.
The Heero chibi appeared again out of the home and
stood guard with his mini light saber and grunted with
satisfaction.
Suddenly, a very obnoxious and squeaky voice was heard
coming from outside, and the Heero chibi suddenly
bristled. A frightened squeak was heard from Duo
chibi, which caused Heero and Duo to see what had made
them upset.
"Oh God no!" Heero exclaimed, as he saw a little
Relena chibi buzzing around outside of the sliding
glass window.
"Calm down Heero!" Duo said raising his hands in the
air and shaking
them. "I know what it looks like, but let me get the
book!"
"What it looks like!? That horrible face! We need to
kill this thing,
and do it now!" Heero said going into hysterics. "It
could be breeding for
all we know!"
Duo ran over to the coffee table and grabbed the chibi
guide,
frantically flipping through the pages.
"That 'thing' has Relena's face!!" Heero pointed out a
second time.
"What's taking you so long Maxwell, those things could
be multiplying!!"
Heero fumed.
Duo rushed back over to Heero, first stopping to check
on his little
chibis, who were now huddled in a corner and
trembling.
"It says here, that it's a Relena chibi." Duo stated,
matter-of-factly.
"No shit! I could figure that out!" Heero replied
frantically. "How do
we kill it!?!?"
Duo continued to read on. "Relena chibis love Heero
chibis and will
stop at nothing to mate with them."
"Eee!" Heero gasped and swept the little Heero chibi
up in his arms,
cradling it as if it could break at the slightest
touch.
"That thing ain't coming near my chibi!" Heero
shouted.
"Relena chibis are considered the parasite of the
species, because they
serve no other purpose but to annoy the other chibis
around them." Duo
continued to read aloud. "An anti-chibi Relena spray
has been created
to aid in all your Relena-chibi related
exterminations."
"What's it called? And where can we get 500 gallons of
the stuff!?"
Heero ranted melodramatically.
"We have to write the company and send away for some.
It's too potent
to sell at the store." Duo explained.
After a few moments, the Duo chibi emerged from the
little make-shift
home. The Heero chibi had been gone far too long and
he feared
treachery was afoot. He buzzed over to where Heero was
holding him and gave him
the "where have you been" look. The Heero chibi
silently cursed and pointed
up to the larger, wingless version of himself.
The Duo chibi buzzed over in front of Heero's face and
folded his arms,
tapping his foot in the air.
"Oh, sorry." he said, handing the Heero chibi over.
"I don't have time to wait for some stupid company to
send me pest
repellant!" Heero announced as he raced over to the
area under the sink
and produced a can of Raid. He smiled at Duo
menacingly and ran to the
sliding glass door with it.
Duo opened his mouth to say something, but decided
that he wouldn't
piss Heero off anymore than he already was.
Heero grinned evilly at the Relena chibi.
"See this?" he said to the chibi. "This is for you!"
The Relena chibi only gave him a defiant look and
stuck out her tongue
at him.
"Oh yeah!?" Heero challenged and threw open the
sliding glass the door. The Relena chibi was taken by
surprise at the lightning quick movements of the wing
pilot, and suddenly found herself dripping with Raid.
"Ha!" Heero yelled in triumph, watching the little
Relena chibi flutter to the ground. She lay there
coughing and Duo raced outside to assess the
situation.
"Wow, Relena chibi is ugly!" Duo commented. Unlike
Heero chibi or Duo chibi, Relena had the wings of a
fly and was dressed in a little pink dress.
Relena chibi continued to lay on the concrete in a
puddle of Raid, and Heero and Duo chibi flew out to
take a look for themselves.
At the sight of Heero chibi, Relena chibi perked up
and tried to advance toward him. Heero chibi bristled
and started swinging his mini light saber at her.
Relena chibi just scoffed.
"Did you see that?!" Heero asked. "It's just like me
and Relena!"
"Yeah...pretty scary." Duo commented, and watched as
tons of other Duo chibis came to Heero chibi's aid.
"I thought for sure she'd be dead by now?" Heero
stared at the little
parasite, floundering in the puddle of Raid.
"Well...we can't just leave her there." Duo said
running back into the
house.
All the little Duo-chibis peered at the Relena chibi
in wonder. They
had never seen such anger present in a chibi's eyes.
For chibis were
naturally cheerful, spirited creatures...of course,
Heero chibi was the
exception. He was free to act according to his own
will.
All the little chibis gasped as the Relena chibi began
to crawl
forward. Heero stomped his foot down between her and
his and Duo's new found
pets. She glared up at him, letting a loud grunt
escape her lips.
"Heero?" she questioned, little cartoon hearts
appearing in place of
her eyes. Heero looked down at the insect-like chibi.
"What?" he said in both shock and amazement. All that
stood between the
Relena chibi and the Duo and Heero chibis, was Heero's
large, yellow
sneaker. The Duo chibi, who had always been the
daring, adventurous
type, climbed up one of the shoelaces and peered over
the edge to see the
Relena chibi going into attack mode.
Now this was a very different attack mode than a
normal chibi. But then
again, the Relena chibi was not exactly normal. Duo
chibi watched in
fear as she rubbed her small hands in anticipation,
just as flies do when
they are sitting in one place for too long. Her little
wings began to
intermittently buzz every few seconds and an evil
cackle came from her
mouth.
"Heero!" she peeped, before flying up into the 01
pilot's face.
"What the Hell?!" he cried, swatting at the pesky pink
chibi.
"Heero, Heeeeeeeerrroooooo" she squealed in her little
chibi voice.
Duo came barreling out of the house, a fly swatter in
hand.
"What's going on!?" he said in bewilderment. "Why is
that chibi looking
at you like that?"
Meanwhile, the Heero chibi flew up in front of the
larger-sized Heero
to protect his master.
The Relena chibi saw him and knocked him out of the
sky with one
kamikaze manuever. So long as it had a Heero likeness,
she didn't care whether
it was chibi or human. He landed in a heap with the
Relena chibi on top of
him.
"Get the hose!" Duo shrieked.
"They aren't dogs!" Heero retorted.
This is when the Duo chibi decided to intervene.
Nobody could mess with
his chibi and get away with it. He grabbed the Relena
chibi by her
little braids and hauled her off of the stunned Heero
chibi.
"Yeah!" Duo praised, "Kick her ass!" he cheered.
The Duo chibi swung her around by her braids and once
he had built up
enough momentum, released and sent her spiraling over
the fence and
into the street. Then he proudly strutted back to his
mate, linked arms with
him, and hauled him off into some nearby bushes. Duo
went to go see
where they were going, but Heero held his hand up in
front of the braided
pilot.
"Let them be. They're you know..." he said raising his
eyebrows.
"Oh." Duo sighed. "Ooooohhhhhh!" he grinned evilly,
finally realizing
what Heero had meant.
Heero smirked, and he and Duo decided to leave Heero
and Duo chibi alone to finish their uh, matter at
hand.
Meanwhile, Relena chibi found herself lying in a
gutter on the other side of the fence. [2]She was just
about to get up and avenge the lack of her honor when
tons of little Duo chibi faces appeared over the side
of the fence.
Relena chibi only had the chance to acknowledge their
presence when she was suddenly attacked by all the
nearby Duo chibis.
Finally satisified with their work, which included
binding her wings and hands together with her hair,
they pushed her down the gutter. She moved a long with
the flow of the sewer water and that was the last
sight of her. Or was it?
"Heero, we really do need to name our little chibis."
Duo commented when he spotted Heero chibi fiercely
hauling his Duo chibi to another nearby bush.
"Looks like another round huh?" Heero said with a
chuckle. Duo sighed and put on the radio, and a
familiar Micheal Jackson song began to play.
Hearing the lively beat and the sound of 'Don't stop
'till you get enough, Jam on!', Heero chibi and Duo
chibi emerged from the bush and tapped at the sliding
glass door.
Duo ran over to the sliding glass door and admitted
the two chibis into
the house. Heero watched as the two chibis hovered
near the radio,
intrigued by the music spewing forth from it.
Duo flopped down next to Heero on the couch.
"Hmmmmm...names," he pondered as he rested his chin on
his hand.
Heero watched the chibis as they landed on the coffee
table and began
to prance around. He let out a slight giggle when the
Duo chibi attempted
to moonwalk, but tripped over his braid and fell smack
on his butt. The
Heero chibi merely grunted and shoved the Duo chibi to
the side, giving him a
"this is how it's done" look.
Heero watched with delight as the Heero chibi whipped
out his mini beam
sword and twirled it around on his fingertip before
stopping suddenly
and placing his free hand over his head, then slid
backwards on the balls
of his feet. A perfect moonwalk.
"Hey!" Heero said, smacking Duo on the shoulder.
"Look! Behold my
chibi's talent!" he stated proudly folding his arms.
"How kawaii!!" Duo grinned, his face lit up when the
little chibi began
to utter one particular word from the song.
"Jamon, Jamon!" he peeped.
"Listen Heero, he's saying Jam on!" Duo clapped with
joy. "That must be
his name!"
"Please!" Heero said rolling his eyes.
The Duo chibi watched his mate rock out to the song,
he was thoroughly
amused.
"Is that your name, little Jamon?" Duo said in a voice
one would only
use to talk to babies or cute animals.
"Jamon!" the Heero chibi repeated.
"It's settled then!" Duo cried, holding up one finger.
"His name will
be Jamon!"
"I suppose." Heero grunted.
"Now help me think of a name for my little chibi!" He
pleaded, shaking
Heero's arm with both hands. "Come on!" he whined.
"Fine!" Heero spat, glancing at little Jamon out of
the corner of his
eye, he was damn proud of that chibi.
Heero continued to watch Jamon with kind of pride that
only a father would have for his son. Jamon continued
to dance around, and Duo chibi clapped with glee.
Duo drummed his fingers on the table, trying to come
up with a good name for his Duo Chibi. Heero wasn't
helping one bit.
At that moment, Trowa and Quatre came to the
safehouse, and Quatre let out a loud squeal of delight
at the sight of Jamon and Duo Chibi.
"Have you named them yet? What are their names? Where
did you find them? How did you catch them? Are they
dancing? How kawaii!" Quatre said all in one breath.
Duo, momentarily dizzy from all the questions, had to
take a minute to sort everything out.
"The only thing that is important right now Quatre, is
what to name my Duo chibi!" Duo replied, and Quatre's
face lit up.
"I can help! How about Tulip? Or Daisy?" Quatre
offered.
Duo rolled his eyes. "Look Quatre, Duo chibi is a boy!
Not a girl!" Duo scoffed, and Heero burst out
laughing.
"Well, how about Ebola? You do have that obsession
about killing Relena with the stuff." Trowa offered,
and Duo frowned.
"But Duo chibi isnt supposed to be a potent virus that
kills people in a matter of days! He's too cute for a
name like that!" Duo cooed, and the Duo chibi chirped
back.
Duo squealed. "Did you hear that?! He talked to me! He
talked to me!" Duo gushed, and he gathered the Duo
chibi in his arms and cuddled with him.
"I think I will name him Banner. He's American like me
right? My little Banner will be named for the American
Flag, and the great country in which I came from." Duo
proclaimed, and he stood up, raising his fist in
triumph.
Banner raised his little fist too, and chirped again.
Heero smiled, as did Trowa and Quatre. Who knew what
weird adventures would come next with Jamon and
Banner.
-Northstar and Black Crowe
[1] On Jurassic Park 3, one of the raptors called for
help, and it was heard for miles on end. And all the
other raptors cocked their heads to listen, then they
came running to help the other raptor! lmao! The Duo
Chibis do the same!
[2] As seen in Jurassic Park 2: The Lost World, the
Compys are seen stalking the guy down in the river.
The Duo chibis did the same, and attacked the Relena
chibi and sent her down the gutter! haha!
decided to write a cute Chibi story filled with Relena
bashing of course. Duo chibi's name is for all the
families and survivors in New York, Washington D.C.
and Pennsylvania after the horrible terrorist attack.
This is America dammit, and we will hunt down whoever
was behind the attack and kick their ass!
Rating: PG, For cussing
Heero sat typing at his laptop as usual, plotting to
destroy things and
what not. On the other hand, his partner Duo Maxwell,
who had become
hypnotised by the monotonous tapping sound the keys
made as Heero's
fingertips danced across them, sat on a stool with his
chin resting on
one hand.
"This is too boring Heero!" he whined. "Let's go
outside and do
something! Come on, you remember...outside...where
that big yellow thing is, the
sun!" he pleaded.
Heero just shrugged and ignored him. Duo let out a
long dramatic sigh
and stood up. He shuffled over to the sliding glass
door. Their latest safe
house had a remarkable view. The backyard was lush
with green foliage
and beautiful flowers. Duo pressed his face up against
the glass and peered
out.
Something that seemed to be buzzing about caught his
attention. He
smiled and raced over to where Heero sat. Grabbing the
stoic pilot by the
wrist, he hauled him over to the window.
Heero let out a surprised grunt.
"Hn! What are you doing Maxwell!?" he demanded.
"Look Heero! LOOK!!" he squealed pointing to the
backyard. "We have
wild chibis in our backyard!!"
"So?" Heero retorted, "What do you want me to do, get
a fly swatter?"
"No Heero! You don't kill chibis!" Duo explained,"You
catch them and
make them pets."
Heero rolled his eyes and looked at the braided pilot
in disgust.
"You don't have time for a pet!" he sneered.
"But Heeeerrrrooooo!" Duo whined, sounding
disturbingly enough like a
certain annoying princess. "I want a chibi! Let's
catch a chibi! Pllleeeaaassseeee!!!"
Heero couldn't take the whining anymore and finally
gave in.
"If it'll shut you up, then we'll catch a chibi." he
sighed, at least
if Duo had something to occupy himself with, then
maybe he wouldn't be so
annoying, Heero thought.
Duo barrelled down the hall and threw open the door to
the hall closet.
He started chucking things right and left. Heero
walked up behind him and
narrowly missed being hit in the head with a flying
book.
"Where is it!?!?" Duo screeched. "Ahhh!" he exclaimed,
obviously
finding
what it was he had been searching for.
"My chibi catching net!" he grinned, holding up a
little butterfly net.
Heero just gave him a puzzled look, then picked up the
book that had
whizzed by his head earlier.
A Guide To The Many Wonderful Varieties of Chibi, he
read.
"Oooh, that'll help us catch the best kinds!" Duo said
examining the
book.
"We don't want any old kind of chibi." he smirked.
Well, maybe this wouldn't be so bad, Heero thought,
he'd just let Duo
go about his business of chibi catching, and he would
sit back and quietly
read the book...or so he thought.
Duo stormed back to the sliding glass door and
silently opened it. He looked left, then right, and
waved Heero to come along.
Heero sighed. Duo was acting as if they were
infiltrating some secret OZ base, and then he
shrugged. If this would make Duo happy and not to
mention occupied, then he would go along with it.
Both pilots moved a long the wall of the house in
stealth mode, and Duo spotted the little chibi he had
seen earlier land in the grass by a tree. That was the
perfect opportunity, and Duo took it!
He ran towards the chibi with all his speed and tossed
the net over it. The poor chibi had only the chance to
look up in fright at the braided giant who was
thundering towards him.
Duo triumphantly raised his fist in the air and picked
up the net. He examined the snarling chibi and could
have sworn he heard the chibi growling out obsenities.
Duo's eyes bugged out and he shrieked. That shut up
the chibi.
"HEERO! IT LOOKS LIKE YOU!" Duo exclaimed, and Heero
took a close look at the chibi. Heero gasped. It did
look just like him!
"Get the book! What does it say?!" Duo asked, and
Heero flipped through the pages.
"It's a 'Heero Chibi'," Heero said, confirming what
Duo had said.
"Does it have any friends?" Duo cooed, as he tried to
pet the chibi.
"OW! Damn thing stabbed me!" Duo said, waving his hand
back and forth. Heero smirked.
"It seems that we both hate braided bakas!" Heero
replied with a chuckle, and Duo just glared.
"It says here," Heero said, changing the subject,
"That Heero chibis like..."
"What Heero? What do they like?!" Duo asked.
"They like Duo chibis!" Heero said, his face showing
disbelief.
"Duo chibis!" Heero exclaimed. "What the hell is a Duo
chibi!?" he said
flipping through the book. "It better not be what I
think it is!" he
growled.
Sure enough, as he flipped to the page containing info
on the Duo
chibi, there in bold color was a picture of the little
pest with a braid.
"Aww! It's so cute!" Duo squealed. "I want one of
those! You can have
this poopy one!" he smirked, holding the captured
Heero chibi underneath
Heero's nose.
The spiky haired pilot backed away instantaneously as
the small
creature waved a mini light saber at him.
"I don't want that! This was your idea, you keep it!"
he snarled.
"Well, I'll look after this one and you can catch me a
Duo chibi!" Duo said firmly.
"Fine!" Heero grunted, ripping the small butterfly net
from Duo's hand, anything to get away from that baka,
he thought.
Heero slowly crept into the bushes. He heard the
faintest sound of
laughter and glanced over his shoulder expecting Duo
to be giggling at
him. To his surprise, Duo was too busy battling with
the Heero chibi, who had gotten ahold of his braid
and was wrapping it around his head.
"Baka." Heero muttered under his breath, then stopped
suddenly when he
heard the laughter again. He looked up to see a tiny
little braid
dangling in his face.
The little Duo chibi was seated on a flower petal and
was laughing it's
little head off at the antics it's beloved Heero chibi
was pulling on
the giant braided beast.
"Now I have you." Heero whispered, closing in for the
kill. He brought
the net down over the flower, and smiled triumphantly.
However, his victory was short-lived when he realized
that the Duo
chibi had escaped him. He pulled the net off the
flower and gasped as a bee
angrily buzzed out of it. Heero tried to dodge the
little bugger as
best he could. He turned around to evade it, but ended
up face down in the
mud when he tripped over the garden hose.
Heero groaned and sat back up, wiping the mud from his
face.
"Ouch!!!" he yelped, clutching at his nose. Tears of
pain began to form
in his eyes and he blinked them back.
"That son-of-a-bitch stung me!!" he cried with much
animosity. He
tilted his head upwards to see the Duo chibi hovering
over him, laughing like
a hyena.
"That's it ya little shit! Come here!!" he cried as he
lunged at the winged mini likeness of Duo.
After five unsuccessful attempts, Heero stalked back
over to where Duo
and the Heero chibi were.
"What happened to you?" Duo asked, taking in Heero's
haggard
appearance. He was almost completely caked with mud
and had a large welt on his
nose. He had also acquired quite a few scrapes, when
his last attempt at
catching the Duo chibi landed him the rose bushes.
"Gimme that thing!" he said, snatching the Heero chibi
out of the air.
"What are you going to do with him?" Duo asked, a
worried expression on
his face.
"Oh, don't worry about your precious Heero chibi!" the
zero pilot spat.
"Read the book!" he sneered as he threw it at Duo's
head.
It smacked the braided pilot in the face and he caught
it before it
fell to the ground.
"Duo chibis like Heero chibis." Duo read. "Oh!" he
exclaimed, now realizing the plan.
Heero raised the little Heero chibi into the air and
began swinging it
around like it was a dog treat.
"Here ya little bastard! Come and get it!"
The poor little Heero chibi was getting rather dizzy
and let out a
small yelp.
[1] The Duo chibi's ears pricked up and his head
cocked in the direction of
the plea for help. From out of the bushes popped many
Duo chibi heads.
All facing the giant wearing a green tank top, who had
captured their
beloved Heero chibi.
Heero's eyes widened in fear. He didn't know that the
Heero chibi he held was big pimpin'! The little Heero
chibi assumed Heero thought that, and he crossed his
arms angrily.
Duo watched from behind as a lone Duo chibi made it's
way towards Heero, and he realized that the Heero
chibi was a one chibi kind of guy. Heero quickly
snatched the Duo chibi and Duo cheered with glee.
"You caught them Heero! Excellent!" Duo said, and
snatched the Duo chibi from Heero.
"It's soo cute! And it looks just like me!" Duo cooed.
The little Duo chibi chuckled and rubbed his face
against Duo's. Heero looked at the Heero chibi and
they both sighed with defeat.
*Hours later after Chibi shopping*
"Ok, checklist time!" Duo said with a grin. Heero sat
on one of the sofas in their safe house with Duo and
Heero chibi in tow.
"'Your Very Own Duo Chibi Guide'?" Duo asked.
"Check." Heero replied.
"'Your Very Own Heero Chibi Guide'?"
"Check."
"Chibi nest?"
"Check." Heero said, now getting irritated. "Duo we
did this twice! We have everything!" Heero promised,
and Duo smiled.
"I hope we have everything." Duo replied, and he and
Heero watched as Heero and Duo chibi explored their
new little makeshift home they had bought for them.
The Heero chibi appeared again out of the home and
stood guard with his mini light saber and grunted with
satisfaction.
Suddenly, a very obnoxious and squeaky voice was heard
coming from outside, and the Heero chibi suddenly
bristled. A frightened squeak was heard from Duo
chibi, which caused Heero and Duo to see what had made
them upset.
"Oh God no!" Heero exclaimed, as he saw a little
Relena chibi buzzing around outside of the sliding
glass window.
"Calm down Heero!" Duo said raising his hands in the
air and shaking
them. "I know what it looks like, but let me get the
book!"
"What it looks like!? That horrible face! We need to
kill this thing,
and do it now!" Heero said going into hysterics. "It
could be breeding for
all we know!"
Duo ran over to the coffee table and grabbed the chibi
guide,
frantically flipping through the pages.
"That 'thing' has Relena's face!!" Heero pointed out a
second time.
"What's taking you so long Maxwell, those things could
be multiplying!!"
Heero fumed.
Duo rushed back over to Heero, first stopping to check
on his little
chibis, who were now huddled in a corner and
trembling.
"It says here, that it's a Relena chibi." Duo stated,
matter-of-factly.
"No shit! I could figure that out!" Heero replied
frantically. "How do
we kill it!?!?"
Duo continued to read on. "Relena chibis love Heero
chibis and will
stop at nothing to mate with them."
"Eee!" Heero gasped and swept the little Heero chibi
up in his arms,
cradling it as if it could break at the slightest
touch.
"That thing ain't coming near my chibi!" Heero
shouted.
"Relena chibis are considered the parasite of the
species, because they
serve no other purpose but to annoy the other chibis
around them." Duo
continued to read aloud. "An anti-chibi Relena spray
has been created
to aid in all your Relena-chibi related
exterminations."
"What's it called? And where can we get 500 gallons of
the stuff!?"
Heero ranted melodramatically.
"We have to write the company and send away for some.
It's too potent
to sell at the store." Duo explained.
After a few moments, the Duo chibi emerged from the
little make-shift
home. The Heero chibi had been gone far too long and
he feared
treachery was afoot. He buzzed over to where Heero was
holding him and gave him
the "where have you been" look. The Heero chibi
silently cursed and pointed
up to the larger, wingless version of himself.
The Duo chibi buzzed over in front of Heero's face and
folded his arms,
tapping his foot in the air.
"Oh, sorry." he said, handing the Heero chibi over.
"I don't have time to wait for some stupid company to
send me pest
repellant!" Heero announced as he raced over to the
area under the sink
and produced a can of Raid. He smiled at Duo
menacingly and ran to the
sliding glass door with it.
Duo opened his mouth to say something, but decided
that he wouldn't
piss Heero off anymore than he already was.
Heero grinned evilly at the Relena chibi.
"See this?" he said to the chibi. "This is for you!"
The Relena chibi only gave him a defiant look and
stuck out her tongue
at him.
"Oh yeah!?" Heero challenged and threw open the
sliding glass the door. The Relena chibi was taken by
surprise at the lightning quick movements of the wing
pilot, and suddenly found herself dripping with Raid.
"Ha!" Heero yelled in triumph, watching the little
Relena chibi flutter to the ground. She lay there
coughing and Duo raced outside to assess the
situation.
"Wow, Relena chibi is ugly!" Duo commented. Unlike
Heero chibi or Duo chibi, Relena had the wings of a
fly and was dressed in a little pink dress.
Relena chibi continued to lay on the concrete in a
puddle of Raid, and Heero and Duo chibi flew out to
take a look for themselves.
At the sight of Heero chibi, Relena chibi perked up
and tried to advance toward him. Heero chibi bristled
and started swinging his mini light saber at her.
Relena chibi just scoffed.
"Did you see that?!" Heero asked. "It's just like me
and Relena!"
"Yeah...pretty scary." Duo commented, and watched as
tons of other Duo chibis came to Heero chibi's aid.
"I thought for sure she'd be dead by now?" Heero
stared at the little
parasite, floundering in the puddle of Raid.
"Well...we can't just leave her there." Duo said
running back into the
house.
All the little Duo-chibis peered at the Relena chibi
in wonder. They
had never seen such anger present in a chibi's eyes.
For chibis were
naturally cheerful, spirited creatures...of course,
Heero chibi was the
exception. He was free to act according to his own
will.
All the little chibis gasped as the Relena chibi began
to crawl
forward. Heero stomped his foot down between her and
his and Duo's new found
pets. She glared up at him, letting a loud grunt
escape her lips.
"Heero?" she questioned, little cartoon hearts
appearing in place of
her eyes. Heero looked down at the insect-like chibi.
"What?" he said in both shock and amazement. All that
stood between the
Relena chibi and the Duo and Heero chibis, was Heero's
large, yellow
sneaker. The Duo chibi, who had always been the
daring, adventurous
type, climbed up one of the shoelaces and peered over
the edge to see the
Relena chibi going into attack mode.
Now this was a very different attack mode than a
normal chibi. But then
again, the Relena chibi was not exactly normal. Duo
chibi watched in
fear as she rubbed her small hands in anticipation,
just as flies do when
they are sitting in one place for too long. Her little
wings began to
intermittently buzz every few seconds and an evil
cackle came from her
mouth.
"Heero!" she peeped, before flying up into the 01
pilot's face.
"What the Hell?!" he cried, swatting at the pesky pink
chibi.
"Heero, Heeeeeeeerrroooooo" she squealed in her little
chibi voice.
Duo came barreling out of the house, a fly swatter in
hand.
"What's going on!?" he said in bewilderment. "Why is
that chibi looking
at you like that?"
Meanwhile, the Heero chibi flew up in front of the
larger-sized Heero
to protect his master.
The Relena chibi saw him and knocked him out of the
sky with one
kamikaze manuever. So long as it had a Heero likeness,
she didn't care whether
it was chibi or human. He landed in a heap with the
Relena chibi on top of
him.
"Get the hose!" Duo shrieked.
"They aren't dogs!" Heero retorted.
This is when the Duo chibi decided to intervene.
Nobody could mess with
his chibi and get away with it. He grabbed the Relena
chibi by her
little braids and hauled her off of the stunned Heero
chibi.
"Yeah!" Duo praised, "Kick her ass!" he cheered.
The Duo chibi swung her around by her braids and once
he had built up
enough momentum, released and sent her spiraling over
the fence and
into the street. Then he proudly strutted back to his
mate, linked arms with
him, and hauled him off into some nearby bushes. Duo
went to go see
where they were going, but Heero held his hand up in
front of the braided
pilot.
"Let them be. They're you know..." he said raising his
eyebrows.
"Oh." Duo sighed. "Ooooohhhhhh!" he grinned evilly,
finally realizing
what Heero had meant.
Heero smirked, and he and Duo decided to leave Heero
and Duo chibi alone to finish their uh, matter at
hand.
Meanwhile, Relena chibi found herself lying in a
gutter on the other side of the fence. [2]She was just
about to get up and avenge the lack of her honor when
tons of little Duo chibi faces appeared over the side
of the fence.
Relena chibi only had the chance to acknowledge their
presence when she was suddenly attacked by all the
nearby Duo chibis.
Finally satisified with their work, which included
binding her wings and hands together with her hair,
they pushed her down the gutter. She moved a long with
the flow of the sewer water and that was the last
sight of her. Or was it?
"Heero, we really do need to name our little chibis."
Duo commented when he spotted Heero chibi fiercely
hauling his Duo chibi to another nearby bush.
"Looks like another round huh?" Heero said with a
chuckle. Duo sighed and put on the radio, and a
familiar Micheal Jackson song began to play.
Hearing the lively beat and the sound of 'Don't stop
'till you get enough, Jam on!', Heero chibi and Duo
chibi emerged from the bush and tapped at the sliding
glass door.
Duo ran over to the sliding glass door and admitted
the two chibis into
the house. Heero watched as the two chibis hovered
near the radio,
intrigued by the music spewing forth from it.
Duo flopped down next to Heero on the couch.
"Hmmmmm...names," he pondered as he rested his chin on
his hand.
Heero watched the chibis as they landed on the coffee
table and began
to prance around. He let out a slight giggle when the
Duo chibi attempted
to moonwalk, but tripped over his braid and fell smack
on his butt. The
Heero chibi merely grunted and shoved the Duo chibi to
the side, giving him a
"this is how it's done" look.
Heero watched with delight as the Heero chibi whipped
out his mini beam
sword and twirled it around on his fingertip before
stopping suddenly
and placing his free hand over his head, then slid
backwards on the balls
of his feet. A perfect moonwalk.
"Hey!" Heero said, smacking Duo on the shoulder.
"Look! Behold my
chibi's talent!" he stated proudly folding his arms.
"How kawaii!!" Duo grinned, his face lit up when the
little chibi began
to utter one particular word from the song.
"Jamon, Jamon!" he peeped.
"Listen Heero, he's saying Jam on!" Duo clapped with
joy. "That must be
his name!"
"Please!" Heero said rolling his eyes.
The Duo chibi watched his mate rock out to the song,
he was thoroughly
amused.
"Is that your name, little Jamon?" Duo said in a voice
one would only
use to talk to babies or cute animals.
"Jamon!" the Heero chibi repeated.
"It's settled then!" Duo cried, holding up one finger.
"His name will
be Jamon!"
"I suppose." Heero grunted.
"Now help me think of a name for my little chibi!" He
pleaded, shaking
Heero's arm with both hands. "Come on!" he whined.
"Fine!" Heero spat, glancing at little Jamon out of
the corner of his
eye, he was damn proud of that chibi.
Heero continued to watch Jamon with kind of pride that
only a father would have for his son. Jamon continued
to dance around, and Duo chibi clapped with glee.
Duo drummed his fingers on the table, trying to come
up with a good name for his Duo Chibi. Heero wasn't
helping one bit.
At that moment, Trowa and Quatre came to the
safehouse, and Quatre let out a loud squeal of delight
at the sight of Jamon and Duo Chibi.
"Have you named them yet? What are their names? Where
did you find them? How did you catch them? Are they
dancing? How kawaii!" Quatre said all in one breath.
Duo, momentarily dizzy from all the questions, had to
take a minute to sort everything out.
"The only thing that is important right now Quatre, is
what to name my Duo chibi!" Duo replied, and Quatre's
face lit up.
"I can help! How about Tulip? Or Daisy?" Quatre
offered.
Duo rolled his eyes. "Look Quatre, Duo chibi is a boy!
Not a girl!" Duo scoffed, and Heero burst out
laughing.
"Well, how about Ebola? You do have that obsession
about killing Relena with the stuff." Trowa offered,
and Duo frowned.
"But Duo chibi isnt supposed to be a potent virus that
kills people in a matter of days! He's too cute for a
name like that!" Duo cooed, and the Duo chibi chirped
back.
Duo squealed. "Did you hear that?! He talked to me! He
talked to me!" Duo gushed, and he gathered the Duo
chibi in his arms and cuddled with him.
"I think I will name him Banner. He's American like me
right? My little Banner will be named for the American
Flag, and the great country in which I came from." Duo
proclaimed, and he stood up, raising his fist in
triumph.
Banner raised his little fist too, and chirped again.
Heero smiled, as did Trowa and Quatre. Who knew what
weird adventures would come next with Jamon and
Banner.
-Northstar and Black Crowe
[1] On Jurassic Park 3, one of the raptors called for
help, and it was heard for miles on end. And all the
other raptors cocked their heads to listen, then they
came running to help the other raptor! lmao! The Duo
Chibis do the same!
[2] As seen in Jurassic Park 2: The Lost World, the
Compys are seen stalking the guy down in the river.
The Duo chibis did the same, and attacked the Relena
chibi and sent her down the gutter! haha!