"You don't have to see them again if you don't want to."
Briefly, Liz glanced away from the road to her fellow passenger, who was watching her fixedly trying to gauge her emotions. Nick had fallen into over-protective, big-brother mode shortly meeting Liz twelve years ago although his watchful behaviour had intensified shortly after David, her husband and his younger brother, had died.
She didn't know what she would have done without David and Nick Delaney in those dark days when she had ran off to Miami to escape her problems, to escape her memories of Max and her feelings that she had harboured for him. She had spent two months in Miami working in some greasy restaurant while juggling an intensive university psychology course after successfully gaining an impressive set of SATs.
It wasn't an easy life for anyone, let alone a teenage girl in her 'particular' circumstances.
It was only when she met Nick, a post-graduate medical student offering to tutor her, that her life started to turned around. For not only did Nick help her with schoolwork but later introduced her to his younger brother David, the man she later married only to lose after six measly years. If it hadn't been for him and Nick, she didn't think she could have coped with raising a child.
As it was, she took to motherhood like a charm, determined to ensure she would be the loving parent to make up for her son not having a father. Lexie was a happy infant who had grown into a very affectionate little boy, fiercely loved by his mother and later on was equally doted on by David and Nick. Yet there were times, as Lexie grew from a tiny baby to a hale and healthy young boy, when her son would smile or would frown when confronted with a problem and Liz would be reminded that there was more of his father in him than she would admit.
But, settled into her new life, she had not intention of returning to Roswell and in turn her feelings towards Max lay dormant...until now.
"I know," she murmured, concentrating on her driving.
"Do you?" Nick was watching her carefully from the front passenger seat. "He hurt you last time, Beth. You don't owe these people anything."
Liz looked up at the rear-view mirror to see the children slumped in the back seat of the SUV sleeping. They were so innocent and pure. They had no real clue as that their mother had brought them back to the Lion's Den, the place where many secrets burned beneath the surface and could threaten their family right to the core of their security she had sought to build for them in the safety of Miami.
Nonetheless, while at only five years old Nathalie was oblivious to many things, Liz knew she had to be careful around Josh and Lexie. As they grew older, and particularly in the aftermath of their father's death, the boys were becoming increasingly aware of every nuance, especially if it involved their mother. There was many an occasion when Liz worried that the boys, even the easy-going Josh, took David's constant reminders of 'looking after their mother and sister' should anything happen to him too seriously.
She inhaled a calming breath. "I know, Nick, things are very different now...It was time to come back."
Liz had somehow always known the fates would conspire to bring her back to Roswell and Max one day. Once upon a time, this thought gave Liz a warm fuzzy feeling- she had already sharpened an axe especially for the occasion. She had moved passed her anger now, being a widow and raising three children alone made one absolve the past easier than she would have as a teenager.
And now she was ready to face that past.
"How do *you* feel about him?" she asked, knowing that her brother-in-law did not exactly harbour warm fuzzy feelings about Max after what little she had divulged after Lexie's birth.
"I'm not sure really. He seems like a normal guy...But nothing around here is normal, is it?"
"Tell me about it...You know, if you want, I'll avoid them for however long we're staying here."
From the uncertain pause, it must have took Nick a moment to understand what she was saying, that in a roundabout manner, she was asking his permission. David was his brother, his loyalties should remain with him, and perhaps Nick wouldn't like the idea of his sister-in-law hanging around with men whom she used to date in high school.
"No, Bethy," he said, firmly, "you need to do this. It's been two years, David would never want you to spend your whole life grieving for him. Being here, seeing old friends again, will be good for you. Little bro would be happy to see you mixing with people again...And I'm going to stand by you through whatever happens. Hopefully, Max had learnt and thing or two since he was a kid. "
Liz smiled. What would she have done without him? As her honourary big brother, he had been there for both her whole family through the good times and the bad then later, when David's sudden death jolted them away from their fairytale life shortly Nathalie's second birthday, Nick took on the role of surrogate father to the troubled boys and her toddler daughter.
"So, are you going to tell him?" asked Nick.
"About what?"
"You know perfectly well 'what.'"
She sighed. "I don't know..." She smiled sardonically. "Anyway, we have much bigger problems ahead."
Nick cocked his head curiously. "Oh, yeah, like what?"
"Like stopping you from giving Max the third degree the minute he steps in the door."
*********************************
It felt oddly soothing to be back at his boyhood hauntings. He hadn't been to the Crashdown for a good few years, probably since he left town with Tess. There were a variety reasons why he had chosen to voluntarily avoid the place upon his return to Roswell.
Not only was the cafe the hangout for the present high school kids, who wouldn't appreciate the local deputy sheriff spying on them, Max knew he wasn't really welcome anymore. He always sensed that somehow Jeff and Nancy Parker blamed him for their daughter's departure, perhaps rightly so. Even now, the couple remained cool with him compared with the almost parental joviality they showed towards his sister and the others.
Nonetheless, there was a wonderful sense of reminiscence at being back.
Max had waited forty-eight days before his patience waned and he had to phone Liz, desperate to see her again. He was proud of the fact he had managed to resist skulking in the darkness to catch a glimpse of Liz again, he didn't think she would have appreciated being stalked and she had to be the one to decide the ground rules.
So here he was, two days after last seeing her and twelve years after shrugging off her friendship and love, standing outside the Crashdown Cafe.
He was astonished to see how much the place had changed. The last time he had seen it, the place looked like the typical tacky, tourist restaurant it was. Now, a tended garden bloomed around the white-washed building and a sign written in bold colourful lettering with the words 'Crashdown' and a cute little three-dimensional spaceship hung over the entrance.
"I'm glad you could make it."
Nick's voice jarred Max from his inspection. The older man stood in front of the building, regarding him frankly, the familiar mistrust so evident in his nephews was now flashing in his own blue eyes. He pushed away from the wall he was leaning against, no doubt he had been waiting for Max's arrival, and he strolled up.
"Eh, hi," Max said, uncertainly.
"Bethy's inside getting the kids ready, she'll be out in a few minutes." Nick regarded Max for a moment. "So you're Liz's ex-boyfriend from when she was in high school."
"Yeah, I guess you could say that."
"She told me about you."
Max's brow furrowed. "She did?"
Just how close was this man to Liz? Had she let him into Max's secret? No, he rebuked himself for considering that, Liz would never tell anyone about his alien roots no matter who they were to her. Whatever argument or bad terms that lay between them, Max knew in his heart that Liz would guard his secret with her life if need be.
"Yeah, I was one of her first friends when she came to Miami. In fact, I was the one who introduced her to David in the first place, they looked cute together."
"David?"
"Her husband, my baby brother. You know, Davey told me to look out for Beth should anything ever happen to him, that's why I came with her to Roswell- that and I'm a good, cheap babysitter. I like Bethy, she's like a kid sister to me. I would hate to think what I would do if someone was to hurt her." Nick smiled, charmingly. "Get my drift?"
Max nodded. "Yes, I think I do. And don't worry, I would never hurt Liz, not again."
Despite the other man's unnecessary threats, he couldn't help but smile inwardly. Where it was once Alex who had acted as the protective brother-figure for Liz, it seemed she had found another 'brother'- one who sorely lacked Alex's subtlety.
"Nicholas!" came the tutting scold.
The men looked up to see Liz standing at the cafe entrance with her children, her hands on her hips. She flicked a small smile to Max before casting her brother-in-law a glare.
"Didn't I tell you not to go all over-protective?" she said, in a mixture of amusement and reproach.
Nick graced Liz a look of wide-eyed innocence. "I'm just having a chat here with Max."
"Hi, Max," Nathalie greeted cheerfully, skipping over to the deputy sheriff.
"Hi, Nathalie, how are you today?"
"Okay. Have you caught any bad guys today?"
"No, not yet but it's very early."
"Uncle Nick's taking us to look around the town. D'you think I'll see some aliens?"
Max hide a smile; this kid was so sweet. "Maybe, you never know what will happen in Roswell."
Lexie slowly approached Max, tucking the laptop computer he was carrying under his arm. "Are you here to see my mom?"
"Yes, I am."
"Are you staying long?"
"I'm not sure." Max was more than aware the boy's quizzing meant he was not succeeding in adhering himself to young Lexie.
"Mom said you used to date her when she was younger. How come you broke up with her?" Not only was Lexie scrutinising him, but at this question Josh and Nathalie seemed to be waiting for a response as well.
"That isn't something you have to worry about, Alexander," interjected Liz, taking pity on Max. "And you don't have to take the computer with you. You won't have time to use it."
Josh doubtfully took in the desert landscape blending into the horizon. "Mom, I think he will. I don't think Roswell is the bustling metropolitan that Miami is. It looks deader than a do-do."
"It might not be the most busiest place but I'm sure your Uncle Nick will find some things for you to do."
"We could stay here," Lexie offered, eyeing Max.
His brother stared at the Crashdown in disgust. "There's even less to do here. No wonder you never visited Grandma and Grandpa here. It's so dull."
"No," corrected Lexie, "Mom doesn't visit Grams and Grandpa 'cause when she was young some stupid guy-"
"I'll get the squirts out of your hair now, Beth," Nick said, before Lexie could go on although Max was very interested in what the boy had to say, "we'll be back in a coupla hours."
"Don't do anything we wouldn't do," smirked Josh.
"Joshua Delaney, watch your mouth," Liz warned as her impish son shrugged helplessly.
Nick herded the children up to the black SUV parked in the driveway. Nick headed for the driver's side of the car, pausing to give Max one last warning in the form of a scowl. Max and Liz watched the SUV drive up the dusty road until it disappeared into the horizon. Turning back to face Liz, Max was surprised to find her observing him intently. He wondered what she was thinking.
Finally she broke the lull. "I see you made it."
He moved closer to her. "I wouldn't have missed it for the world,"
he said, sincerely
She seemed lost for words, not a condition to afflict Liz Parker
for long. "Well, I thought I'd better come out and protect you from Nick.
He gets a little carried away sometimes, especially when I meet strangers."
"Is that what I am to you?" Max wondered. "A stranger?"
Liz mulled over it then shrugged. "I'm not sure what you are anymore,
Max..." There was an awkward silence. "So, d'you want a coffee? Or I think
I could rustle a Milky Way Milkshake?"
"That sounds great."
Her response to his previous question hadn't been what Max was hoping
for but he decided to let it rest for now.
Following her into the restaurant, he commented, "Why does he call
you 'Beth'?"
"Who? Nick? When I first moved to Miami, calling myself Beth Parker
was my way of giving myself a new life. It didn't last more than a few
weeks but for some reason Nick just stuck with it. Don't ask me why, he
can be like that sometimes, nicknames for everyone."
At least it wasn't a petname from a potential boyfriend. Max couldn't
help but morosely wondering what nickname Liz's big brother figure had
cooked up for him- no doubt it would be something not to be shared with
the kids.
For the first time in a long time, Max took a good look around the
interior of the Crashdown. "I like what's been done with the place. It's
nice, changed a lot."
The inside foyer of the cafe had been refurbished too; the alien
theme was still evident with the photographs of the supposed 'Roswell 1947
Landings' held in a glass show cabinet and small spaceship models hanging
from the roof but there was also a classy sixties ambience to the place.
It not only looked like a nice place to eat but there was also a homely
feel to it.
"I think Mom and Dad decided to let the place grow up. Not
having a kid around does that to parents," Liz said.
It wasn't a jibe but Max couldn't help feel responsible for in some
ways costing Jeff and Nancy their daughter.
"Well, having kids certainly seems to have a positive effect on
you."
A mellow expression softened Liz's earnest features. "Yeah, it did.
I don't know where I'd be without my babes." His curiousity must have been
evident for she smiled, "It's okay, Max, you can ask."
Managing to swallow back most of his eagerness, he asked, "Okay,
what is the story with them? Tell me about them, I mean you're the first
of us to have kids."
"Josh has just turned thirteen, Lexie is eleven and Nat is five.
I adopted Josh eight years ago. He was David's natural son, his mother
committed suicide not long after he was born, so David took full custody.
He was only twenty at the time and raising a three-month-old baby so we
understood each other well. Anyway, when we married, Josh became as much
my child as his, and vice versa."
"And the other two?"
"They're both mine," was all she said.
"They're seem like great children, you must be a wonderful mother."
Max desperately wanted to pursue the subject. It was obvious that
David was Nathalie's father given that Liz had been with him almost from
the moment she arrived in Miami but then there was Lexie. He was itching
to have his suspicions about Lexie being Kyle's son confirmed. If he was
correct then it wasn't really any of Max's business what Kyle would do
in regards to the boy but a small selfish part of him felt if Liz had carried
Kyle's son then she wouldn't betrayed or enraged when she inevitably found
out that Tess had once carried his son too.
It was a terrible but he couldn't stub out that juvenile line of
thought. He was eager for everything to go smoothly between he and Liz,
to maybe revitalise their fractured relationship, that he'd accept any
aid possible
She shrugged. "I try, it isn't always easy raising three young kids
alone, though Nick is a big help."
Max followed Liz into the kitchen area, all now fully refurbished
since his last visit. While Liz took a shot at making two vanilla milkshakes,
Max's eyes were drawn to a pin-board located on the wall beside the doorway.
Along with the typical notes and lists pined to the board were several
photographs of the children, depicting them at various ages from babyhood
to their present age.
Of course, Jeff and Nancy Parker had to have been aware of their
grandchildren's existence and the new life their daughter had carved from
herself. From the looks of the photos, obviously the couple had come to
know the children well and were like any other grandparents despite the
fact they let on nothing to their friends in Roswell. Max had to admit
he felt a wave of anger that they had could have hidden this all like misers
when he was so desperate for any shred of news, but understood that they
had to respect Liz's feelings.
On the desk beneath the pin-board, there was also framed photo of
the children- the boys dressed in baseball uniforms and Nathalie clutching
a baseball glove- sitting between Liz and a handsome blond haired man.
"That's David." Max turned to find Liz standing behind holding two
glasses, her eyes on the photograph. "The photo was taken a few weeks before
he..." She sighed, looking down. "Lexie had just made the Little League
team that year, David was so proud watching his two boys play together."
"I see Josh takes after his father." Just as Nathalie looked like
a young Liz, with their identical sandy blond hair and mischievous blue
eyes Josh was David in the miniature.
"Oh yeah, and not just in looks. He has David's odd sense of humour,
in case you haven't noticed. And Nat carries on his huge imagination, David
used to say it came from being a lawyer that he could spin the most interesting
stories for the kids."
Max focused on the image of her younger son, so solemn in comparison
to his siblings. "And Lexie, he's more like his mother?"
At this, a wistful smile creased Liz's lips faintly. "Oh, I think
sometimes he can be a lot like his father...David's death has been tough
on him, Lexie idolized him. That's why I was so keen to leave Miami and
the memories behind for a while."
"You must really love him?"
"Yes...yes, I did. He gave me so much."
When she said this, Max couldn't help but wonder what place, if
any, he had in Liz Parker's life. Hell, he didn't even know her name; she
had probably changed it to Liz Delaney since her marriage.
He berated himself for his selfishness. What did he honestly expect?
Just as he had gone on with his life, Liz would have moved on as well.
Only his life was a circle that always seemed to return to Liz and what
might have been. If he hadn't been so stupid twelve years ago, he would
have been the father to Lexie and Nathalie.
Liz's soft voice broke through his thoughts. "You know, Max, we're
not kids anymore. A lot of things have changed since we were seventeen."
"I know that." Inwardly, he cried for the mess he had made.
Only Liz wasn't finished. "But just because we have changed, doesn't
mean we're not friends. I just wanted you to know that. What we once shared
was special; it still is special, just different."
Max felt a wide, glowing smile lighting up his downcast face. "Different
is good."
*********************************
"I can't get over how different you are."
The afternoon Liz had spent with Max had been enjoyable and though
they both avoided the thorny subject of the past and what really happened,
they had managed to touch on their stilted friendship. She wasn't ready
to take the plunge and spill out everything on her mind yet she and Max
had a refreshing talk and they were ready to see what the present had to
offer them. It wouldn't be like before but it was a start.
Now, the following morning, Maria had invited- or more accurately,
dragged- Liz to have breakfast with her and Isabel at her house. It was
nice being in the company of her childhood best friend once more, she had
missed Maria dearly and it brought back so many good memories being with
her.
It was ironic, nevertheless, that in Liz's absence, Maria had grown
much closer to the once loner Isabel. In their younger days, it had always
been Maria who was never quite sure of Isabel so who could have predicted
that the female 'Czech' would become Maria's closest friend. Of
course, Liz was prepared for changes in her friendship with Maria. Just
as the Liz they once knew and the person she was today were two different
people, it was only a given that both Maria and Isabel would have changed
over the years also.
"Hey, I'm not the only one," Liz said truthfully. "You and Kyle,
Isabel? I never saw that."
Isabel shrugged. "Neither did we, but he was such a good friend
to me after Alex died and things just moved forward from there."
"But you seem to have changed the most," Maria repeated.
"Wait 'til you have some little Michaels' running around and we'll
see how much you'll change," Liz joked.
Maria's joviality fell away. "You're so lucky, Liz."
"What do you mean?"
"We've been trying for a year and still nothing. I don't even know
if Michael and I can have children, you know with his Czechoslovakian 'complications'."
Liz reached for Maria's hand and squeezed reassuringly. "It will
happen, sometimes you just have to be patient." Feeling uncomfortable under
Maria's now probing stare, she maneuvered the subject elsewhere. "So what
about you, Isabel? Any thoughts of expanding the family?"
"Me?" Isabel said. "No way, not yet. We both see enough kids at
work to have them at home as well. No, really, Kyle and I have decided
to wait, we're thinking of moving to LA. He's been offered a great job
at a LA high school and it would be a big jump in wages." She was referring
to Kyle's position as the high school PE coach.
"You're going to leave Roswell?" Liz asked in surprise.
"Might leave but yes, it's a possibility."
"But what about the pod chamber and everything?"
"I haven't been up there in months and leaving Roswell has always
been something I've thought about going back to when we lost Alex. It would
be good to getaway, start fresh where nobody knows us."
"What about you?" Maria questioned. "Would you ever think of coming
back here to live?"
"No, I've got a good life in Miami, the kids have friends and go
to good schools. It wouldn't be fair to uproot them and I'm not sure I
leave everything I have there behind."
"Why not? You managed it before." There was a pinch of hurt in her
voice, the hurt that had no doubt been harboured from when a confused teenage
Maria tried to understand why her friend had up-and-left without word.
Before Liz could defend her actions, a laughing Michael burst in
juggling an upside-down Nathalie whilst keep up his end of the conversation
with her two boisterous boys. It appeared that, like her, Michael had undergone
the most changes over the past decade. From the bitter, isolated boy came
a happier, confident young man who was no doubt immensely enjoying his
life with Maria and, judging from his developing friendship with her three
children, seemed more than ready for fatherhood.
"Are you okay, Mom?" It was Lexie who voiced that question, ever
the thoughtful child.
"I'm fine, Lex. Are you guys having fun?"
"Yeah," exclaimed Josh. "Michael said he'd take us to see the fire
station he works at. Can we go, Mom?"
"Please, Mom," giggled Nathalie, as Michael turned her back up and
hauled her onto his shoulders.
Liz's eyes met Michael's over the top of the boys' heads, unsure
of letting her children roam off with someone they barely knew. Still,
despite their differences in their teens, she trusted Michael with her
life and the lives of her children, a rare privilege for even her closest
friends back in Miami.
"Where's your Uncle Nick?"
"He's gone shopping," Lexie replied.
"I think he's finally reached the brink," announced Josh.
"The brink?"
"Yeah, of boredom."
"We know what a true city boy Nick is. Okay, you can go look at
the fire station but you'd all better be good for Michael and listen to
what he says."
"'Course, Mom," assured Lexie.
"We're always good," Nathalie piped up.
As Michael waved the three women off and lead the children away,
the unmistakable mischievous voice of Josh could be heard, "Hey, Michael,
think I could light a fire and you could show us how to put it out."
"I don't think that would impress your mother much," Michael replied,
amused.
"They'll be fine," Maria said when her husband and the children
had left in the same whirl wind of activity they had arrived in. "Michael
will take good care of them."
"It's not them I'm worried about, they can be a handful when they
want to."
"They do seem quite a group, like we used to be..." Maria paused.
"Lexie seems a real sweetheart."
"He's a lot like his namesake." This wasn't a line of conversation
she wanted to continue, not with Maria. Her childhood friend still carried
that intuition when it came to discerning if Liz was being entirely
honest. "In more ways than I thought possible," Liz laughed. "Eleven
years old and Josh already has him hacking into the school files to change
grades. Anyway, enough about me- tell me what's been going on here."
"The regular stuff or the gossip?" asked Isabel.
"The gossip, definitely."
Relaxing now she had successfully managed to steer the conversation
away from her and her family onto more neutral territory, Liz didn't notice
the thoughtful glances Maria would occasionally shoot her.