The Colors Fade to Black
Buffy slouched a little farther down into the movie theater chair. It was quite comfortable. The chairs in the movie theater in Sunnydale weren't even close to being this comfortable. She sighed in contentment and reached for more popcorn from the bag in her lap. The popcorn was perfect, just the right mixture of butter and salt.
She glanced around her at the hundreds of empty seats. Her own private theater. This was really cool. The lights dimmed and the screen at the front of the theater lit up.
"Finally," she muttered.
When the movie started she was quite surprised to see Xander and Angel, their faces inches apart in an intense discussion. They looked like they were standing in a hallway of some sort. Angel was holding flowers.
"Visiting hours are over," Xander said softly.
Angel smiled dangerously and gave a small chuckle. "Well, I'm pretty much family."
"Why don't you come back during the day? Oh, gee, no. I guess you can't."
Buffy frowned slightly. She didn't remember this.
"If I decided to walk into Buffy's room, do you really think, for one microsecond that you could stop me?" Angel smiled smugly.
"Maybe not. And maybe those security guards couldn't, or the orderlies, or those cops. But I'm willing to find out. You game?" Xander was very calm. Even his voice didn't betray how scared he must have been.
Angel chuckled. "Buffy's white knight." He leaned in close to Xander's ear. "You still love her. It must just eat you up to know I got there first."
Angel pulled back and Xander swallowed visibly. "You're going to die. And I'm going to be there."
Angel turned around and left. Not looking the least bit worried. Xander let out a shaky breath and sat back down. The picture froze at that point.
"Mental note," she thought. "Slap Xander the next time I see him."
"And that's not even the whole story," said an Irish voice from beside her.
She wasn't startled when she heard the voice. Somehow she expected it. She glanced to her right and saw a dark haired young man sitting next to her.
"I know you," she said slowly. "Doyle, isn't it?"
Doyle reached a hand into the popcorn bag and popped a handful of popcorn into his mouth. "That's right. I was a friend of Angel's. We met briefly in LA as I recall, you were a wee bit miffed with the boy."
Buffy smiled. "Just a wee bit."
She returned her attention to the screen in front of her with the frozen picture of Xander. "So what's all this?" She gestured vaguely at the screen.
"Well," he began. "When you die you get to learn all the truths that weren't available to you during your life. Think of it as a perk."
Buffy nodded in understanding. "Sounds good. Don't get me wrong," she said hurriedly. "I really liked being alive. I wanted to live a lot longer but if I'm going to be dead, there should be a perk or two."
"Oh, there are definite perks," Doyle agreed.
"But why you?"
Doyle raised an eyebrow at her.
"I didn't mean it like that. I just mean, I met you for like 5 seconds. Wouldn't it have made more sense for someone I know better to show me these things? Like, I don't know, Jenny Calendar, Merrick, Kendra…"
Buffy swallowed a lump in her throat. "Or my Mom," she finished in a small voice.
Doyle looked at her sympathetically. "You'll see those people soon enough, darlin'. But I put in a special request for ya. There are some things you gotta learn. Cuz, and I am truly sorry to say this, but you're not done."
Buffy sighed. "I was afraid of this."
Doyle pointed to the screen. "Watch the movie, Slayer."
Buffy sat back contentedly. Her contentment would not last. She saw a lot of things that disturbed her. She watched as Angel walked away from saving those lawyers. He stood back and let Darla (and Darla was alive!) and Drusilla killed all of them. She watched as Angel walked down his dark path. How he used her friend, Anne, to get to the lawyers. She watched everything, including Angel sleep with Darla.
At the end, she let out a shaky breath. "Whoa."
"Yeah," Doyle said softly. "It was a close call. But he's okay. I watched over him…for all the good it did me."
"I guess there's only so much you can do when you're dead."
"Slayer, there's a lot you can do when you're dead. But that wasn't my mission. I just keep an eye on my pals and help out any of their friends who take this trip." He frowned for a moment. "I'm especially worried about Cordy…but that's my problem."
Buffy wanted to press but decided not to. She had all of eternity to ask that question.
"Keep watching," he instructed.
She watched as she and Angel had a perfect life together for one day. She watched as they kissed in the sun, as they made love in his bed, as he said goodbye to her because it was for her own good. At the time, if she had known, she would've hated him for it. Now, however, she realized it was the only decision he could make. And she respected it.
She felt a twinge in her heart. But being dead, all of her senses were a little muted. She supposed this feeling was supposed to be her heart beating in pain but she tried to focus on what Doyle wanted her to see. But she now knew exactly what Angel had given up for her. He had sacrificed his own happiness to prolong her life. Even if it had only been a year and a half.
She glanced down at her right hand where the Claddagh ring Angel had given her was on her ring finger. Willow had placed it on her hand before they closed the lid on the casket. She was glad she still had it. It would always remind her.
Buffy flicked her eyes back to the screen. If she thought watching Angel be sort-of-bad was horrible or watching she and Angel be happy and then lose it all was heart wrenching. Then watching Giles, her mentor, her Watcher, her father figure, kill Ben was the worst kind of torment. She felt tears build but her eyes were dry.
"What? Why?"
"He had to. You couldn't. So he did. It's his job. Glory would have come back. She would have killed Dawn, your friends, and you. He wouldn't allow that. He loved you."
"Giles…" she whispered.
Then came the moment she died. She watched as her friends came closer to her prone body. She watched the shock register over their faces. She watched as Tara held up Willow. She watched as Spike sunk to his knees in grief.
The movie faded to black.
She turned to Doyle. "I don't understand. What am I supposed to get out of this?"
"Take what you need, leave the rest," he said cryptically.
"That sounds vaguely familiar," she murmured.
"Faith said it to you once in a dream. Whistler said it to you a couple of months ago."
Buffy sighed. "I get the impression that you're going to deliver me some more cryptic advice."
"Cryptic? Maybe. But what I want to tell you, is that you're not done yet. There is still more for you to do."
"Great. I don't even get rest in the afterlife."
Doyle smiled sadly. "No rest for the wicked. And I should know."
Buffy returned his sad smile. "Don't I get to see my mom, my friends…?"
Doyle shook his head slowly. "Not yet. Remember what Whistler told you in the graveyard? There is a reason for everything."
"A reason why the Master existed, so there would be 2 Slayers and it would eventually lead to Angel. Two Slayers would let me meet Kendra and Faith and I would find a balance between the two extremes. I would be stronger for all I had experienced and seen."
Buffy paused. "Yeah. I got all that. What else?"
Doyle was watching her intently. "Keep going. You're on the right track. I can only help you so far."
"So if everything that had happened to me then, was to help me realize the answer of my true destiny…"
"Keep going…"
"Then everything I've seen here was for a reason. I have to see the common threads." Buffy frowned. "But what's the common thread? I saw things that happened in L.A. to Angel. I saw Giles kill someone for me. I saw my own death and my friends."
Doyle watched her. All mirth gone from his face.
Buffy thought hard. "Sacrifice…."
"Yes! She's got it."
"But Angel going all sorta-evil wasn't a sacrifice." Buffy turned fully around in her seat so she could see the half-demon's face full on.
"No. But you had to see the lengths everyone went to. For whichever reason. Angel had sacrificed a lot to try and save Darla. When that sacrifice turned out for nothing, he gave up. But sleeping with Darla, an attempt to lose his soul, brought him back to the night where he did lose his soul. It took him back to you. And he remembered everything he had given up for you. His happiness, his mortality, the sacrifice of your happiness…he gave it all up, so you could live and love and be alive.
"Giles killed for you. He loved you. He sacrificed a tiny piece of himself so you wouldn't have to worry about Glory coming back.
"Xander nearly sacrificed his own life so that Evil Angel wouldn't kill you in your hospital room. That was pure courage. And courage is something else that you're going to need in excess…not that you're lacking in that department." He finished quickly.
"I'm on board with sacrifice, Doyle. I gave up my life. Twice!"
"I know, kid. But, I told you, you're not done. We need two Slayers out there. Especially one that the Powers That Be spent centuries on bringing forth. They put a lot of effort into you. They don't want to see it end now. You made the right choice in jumping off that tower. Save Dawn. But things are going to get a hell of a lot worse before they get better. We need you out there. Fighting again. Always fighting."
Buffy sat absolutely still. She knew what was coming. "I have to go back." It wasn't a question. Just a statement of truth.
"Yeah. You have to give up your eternal rest. That's where your next sacrifice comes in. You won't get to see your Mom this trip. I'm very sorry."
"No rest for the wicked." Buffy murmured.
"Ya got that right." Doyle agreed.
She glanced back to the black screen. "What do I have to do?"
Doyle smiled brightly. "Not a blessed thing, darlin'. You're friends'll do all the work."
"Give my mother my love?"
"You got it. And if you seen Angel and Cordy…"
"I'll tell 'em you said 'hello'."
"Goodbye, Slayer. God bless."
Buffy closed her eyes.
The colors faded to black.