- All right people this is SUCH a weird fic. I have NO idea why I decided to do a HildexWufei thing. Just came out of nowhere I swear. I mean has ANYONE ever done this pairing? And if they have, where can I find it? Also some YAOI and YURI references but that's no really the point of the fic…or maybe it is…I don't know. Just read and try and figure it out for yourself. And for those of you that hate Wufei…how can you? He's such a hottie! But he's misunderstood ;_;. Don't flame me because you don't like the pairings. 'Cause that would indicate that you didn't read the warning. And what are you doing in a fanfiction archive if you can't read? This is a songfic 'cause I can't write without one (pathetic, I know). Someone Else's Star is a song by Skip Ewing/Jim Weatherly. No, I don't know who they are *sweatdrops*.
Song lyrics are in things like these ::la, la, la I'm a song lyric, la, la::
- Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. I'm also too tired to think up a snappy way of saying that.
Someone Else's Star
:: Alone again tonight
Without someone to love
The stars are shinning bright
So one more wish goes up::
Jealous. That's what Wufei was. He was jealous. So jealous that he couldn't stand to be around the other pilots right now. Their happiness was like a knife in his heart. Wufei tried to tell himself that it was their sickening lovey-dovey acts that made him turn away but he knew it was only because he wanted what they had more than anything. Wufei shivered and pulled his jacket closer. Damn winter. It's way too COLD here.
::Oh, I wish I may
And I wish I with all my might
For the love I'm dreaming of
And missing in my life::
Wufei looked around at his surroundings. Quatre's garden, though a magnificent attraction in the spring, did not have the same appeal in the winter. Still, the softly falling snow against a background of black velvet sky, sprinkled liberally with starts held its own fierce beauty. If it weren't for the fact that he was freezing his ass off out here he might actually enjoy the view. Gods, it was cold. Then why don't you go inside? Wufei stubbornly walked away from the door. Hmph. And watch those bakas make out every five seconds? I'll pass.
Wufei sighed and brushed some snow out of his hair. He knew that he shouldn't have accepted Quatre's offer to stay with him and the rest of the group for Christmas vacation. But when Quatre turned on those big baby blue eyes of his and made that face Wufei hated so much…he found himself unable to refuse the little blond Arabian. Weak. That's what he was. Not even strong enough to stand up to Quatre. And now he was feeling jealousy; a weak and undignified emotion. Wufei looked back through the window at the cozy tableaux that had driven him out into the cold. The rest of the gundam pilots were all gathered in the living room, in front of a roaring fire. Catherine and Dorothy were in the kitchen, helping Rashid with the turkey. Everyone had been surprised when the two girls had announced that they were seeing each other. Wufei thought it was a little strange at first but when he considered how much they had in common; both knew gundam pilots, both liked sharp pointy objects, both were extremely stubborn…it seemed to fit.
::You'd think that I could find
A true love of my own
It happens all the time
To people that I know::
Relena had declined Quatre's invitation, saying that she had way too much work to do over the holidays and she couldn't possible take a break. Zechs and Noin were busy as well and Sally Po was off visiting her family in China. Duo had brought his friend…what was her name? Hilde. She seemed nice but Wufei didn't really know her well enough to form an opinion. Trowa and Quatre were busy trimming the huge Christmas tree that Quatre had insisted on having. Or rather, Quatre was picking out the trimmings and handing them to Trowa so he could place them on the tree, since Trowa was the only one tall enough to reach the top branches. Quatre carefully selected a crystal angel to hand to Trowa, giving him specific instructions on where to put the delicate ornament. Trowa looked down at his koi's serious face and smiled affectionately at him. Duo was also busy. He was feeding Heero chocolates from one of the boxes he wasn't supposed to open until after Christmas, one by one, laughing whenever Heero playfully nipped at his fingers. The Perfect Soldier had mellowed out considerably now that the war was over and he and Duo had decided to be open with their feelings for each other. He seemed content. One could he say that he was…happy. Everyone was happy. Everyone had someone. Except Wufei that is.
::Their wishes all come true
So I've got to believe
There's still someone out there who
Is meant for only me::
I should not be feeling self-pity. It is a weak emotion, unworthy of someone from the Chang lineage. Wufei shook his head dejectedly. It wasn't that he didn't feel happy that his friends had finally found love. But it just wasn't fair that he should be left all alone out here in the cold. Nataku, I miss you so much sometimes. I know we were only children and the concept of marriage was strange and confusing to us both, but I always regarded you as a fit companion and a remarkable woman. I know it's selfish of me, but I don't want to be alone anymore. Do you understand? Do you even hear me?
::I guess I must be wishing
On someone else's star::
Wufei stared at the sky, searching for an answer he knew would never come. After a few minutes a muffled sound reached his ears. He turned around, trying to locate the source of the sound. It was coming from the garden. Wufei could barely make out the dark top of a person's head behind some bushes, against the whiteness of the snow. He drew a gun from inside of his jacket. Quatre should have better security than this. How could someone get into the garden undetected? Wufei walked silently through the soft snow, trying not to alert whoever it was to his presence. As Wufei got closer the sounds got clearer. They sounded suspiciously like sobs. Wufei got down low and tried to peer through the branches. The figure huddled behind the bushes was small and strangely familiar. It took Wufei a couple of minutes to figure out who it was. Duo's friend. Hilde. Why is she out here crying?
Wufei put his gun away and stood up, clearing his throat. Hilde, startled by his sudden appearance, scrambled to her feet, wiping furiously at her eyes.
"W-Wufei! I didn't hear you come out."
Wufei looked at her tearstained face and frowned.
"What are you doing out here, onna? It is freezing cold and you have no jacket. You're going to get sick."
::It seems like someone else
Keeps getting what I'm wishing for::
Hilde glared at him.
"It's none of your business what I'm doing out here. Besides, I'm not cold."
Wufei looked pointedly at her hands, which were a pale blue color and shaking. Hilde blushed and shoved her hands underneath her armpits. Wufei sighed and took his jacket off, placing it gently around Hilde's shoulders. Hilde debated shoving the jacket back at him but decided to let him. It was awfully cold. Especially for her. She wasn't used to natural weather. Temperature in the colonies was always regulated.
::Why can't I be as lucky as those other people are
I guess I must be wishing
On someone else's star::
"Thank you," she muttered to Wufei, who was staring at her face.
Wufei kept on staring until Hilde became embarrassed and looked away.
"You've been crying," he accused.
"No…"
His voice became harsh. "Don't lie to me. I can see the tears plain as day. What's wrong?"
Hilde bit her lip and tried to go around Wufei. "Nothing."
Wufei griped Hilde's arm to keep her from running past him. "I thought I told you not to lie to me. Stop trying to hide your feelings, onna. I'm not stupid."
"AND WHAT'S IT TO YOU," Hilde yelled, yanking her arm out of Wufei's grasp.
Wufei stared at Hilde in shock. Why do I care? I've never taken an interest in Duo's roommate before. Even if she is kind of cute with her hair like that, and those big eyes…wait a second…what am I thinking?
"I'm waiting for an explanation, Wufei."
Wufei came back to himself with a start. He still hadn't answered her question.
"Well, because you're Duo's friend and…he's a fellow pilot."
Hilde looked at Wufei skeptically.
"That's a pretty pathetic answer."
Wufei glared at her. "Would you rather I say it was curiosity?"
"Actually, yes. That might be a little closer to the truth."
"Fine. I'm curious. So tell me."
Hilde took a deep breath. "I was…lonely."
Wufei gave her a puzzled look. "Lonely?"
Hilde looked down at the ground. "It's stupid, I know. But I just couldn't take it anymore. Seeing them…" Hilde gestured at the window. "Together and…in LOVE like that. I just…"
::I sit here in the dark
And stare up at the sky
But I can't give my heart
One good reason why ::
Wufei looked at the fresh tears that appeared in Hilde's eyes and felt a sudden pain in his chest. I don't understand this. Why does it hurt so much to see her cry? And why do I have the sudden urge to punch Maxwell?
"Did you and Maxwell…were you….together?"
It was Hilde's turn to be puzzled. "What do you me—oh no, you don't think that…" Hilde suddenly broke into a fit of giggles.
Wufei was slightly hurt. "I don't see what it so funny."
Hilde got herself under control. "I'm sorry, Wufei. It's just that of all the questions to ask…no Duo and I were never more than good friends."
Wufei wondered at the sudden sense of relief at her words.
Hilde continued, "I guess I'm just jealous of their happiness. I wish I had someone who loved me that much. But I don't suppose you'd understand that."
::Everywhere I look
- It's lovers that I see
Seems like everyone's in love
With everyone but me::
Wufei looked away. "I understand more than you think. I understand loneliness. I understand not having anyone to love you, or be loved."
Hilde gasped, "Oh, I'm sorry Wufei. I didn't mean to remind you of Meiran."
Wufei smiled. "You didn't. At least…that wasn't what I was referring to."
"Then what?"
"I guess I've never realized just how much the war dominated my life. Now that it's over I feel I have no purpose, no reason for existence. All the other pilots have someone to keep on living for…"
Why am I telling her this? She doesn't need to know my weakness. So why do I feel like I have to explain myself…and why is she looking at me like that?Hilde gasped inwardly at Wufei's words. He feels exactly the way I do. He really understands. Who would have thought the impervious Wufei would feel useless. But I guess we all have hidden emotions. But why would he pour his heart out to me? And why do I feel the need to comfort him?
::Why can't I be as lucky?
As those other people are
Oh I guess I must be wishing
- On someone else's star...::
Wufei felt a touch on his shoulder and looked up. Hilde was staring at him, something in her eyes…pity maybe? But Wufei didn't think that was it.
"You still have a reason to exist, Wufei," she said softly. "Everyone has a purpose in life. You just need to be patient. I'm sure you'll find someone to live for someday…"
Wufei smirked. "It sounds like someone needs to take her own advice."
Hilde blushed. "Well, yeah. That's fair. So we're both being silly. It's really pointless to stay out here in the cold just because we haven't found the right person yet."
"So what are we still doing out here?" Wufei asked.
Hilde smiled. "I have no idea."
"Then shall we go?" Wufei offered Hilde his arm. She stared at him for a couple of seconds before taking it.
"We shall."
Wufei's touch sent warm tremors up Hilde's arm, even though his skin was cold from being without his coat.
Why is he being so nice to me? And why am I feeling slightly breathless? It must be the cold. I'm not used to it.
Wufei was confused. He could feel the slight weight of her hand pressing on his arm. The contact was making stomach twist in knots and he suddenly felt very lightheaded.
Why do I feel this way? How can this onna have the power to affect me so much? I can't actually be attracted to her…can I?- They walked in silence back to the house, each of them refusing to look at the other. The tension was making the silence seem all the louder. Suddenly the door to the house flew open and Duo appeared in the entrance.
- "What are you two doing out there? C'mon! It's time to eat. Rashid is bringing the turkey out. TURKEY!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!"
- Duo disappeared from the doorway, apparently off to devour the whole Christmas dinner before the other got there first. Hilde grinned and took the opportunity to remove her hand from Wufei's arm.
- "Race you," she called, before making a dash for the door.
- Wufei just stood there for a few seconds before chasing after her. He felt a stab of disappointment that he could no longer feel her hand but he brushed the feeling aside.
- What are you thinking? She's just an onna. No reason to get all unsettled. Pull yourself together, Chang.
- Hilde reached the door first, having an obvious head start. "I win!" she called over her shoulder before running inside. That was close. Another moment of hanging on his arm and I'd have done something stupid like tell him that I like him. Hilde clapped a hand over her mouth. Ohmigod, did I just think that? I actually like Chang, Wufei? This is just great. Fall for the one guy you know you absolutely can't have. A voiced argued with her in her head. But he was nice to you. And he said he was lonely… "Shut up," she told the vice. The last thing you need is to have delusional fantasies about Wufei. Just stop now.
- Wufei had finally made it to the door. He was breathing hard from running and his cheeks were slightly flushed from the exercise and the cold. Hilde watched the movement of his chest as he took in air and noticed that his hair, which had come a little loose during the race, was now curled delicately around the smooth skin of his cheeks. His obsidian black eyes were bright and watchful and his lips were parted slightly as he gasped for breath. Hilde swallowed hard. Oh, man. This is going to be harder than I thought…
Umm…yeah. Well that was weird. Tell me if you think I should continue or if this thing was just a wash out. Review!