11:30 AM
They were all in the loft. Well, all save Mark, and Maureen remembered to tell them about Mark's being stranded in Jersey.
Benny was the last to show up, and he didn't look so hot. He had a cut over one eye, and others marking up his bare arms. One wrist was wrapped in an ace bandage. He had scrubbed the dust off his skin, but a thin layer of it still coated his hair. His nose was swollen. And his normally immaculate clothing was less than immaculate, to put it kindly.
They stuck me in a van and sirened me to St. Vincent's, he sighed, referring to a nearby hospital. God, that place is so packed with people, most worse off than me -- frankly, I think they were relieved when I insisted on leaving, instead of spending the night like they wanted. They needed the bed more than they needed me to heal under their supervision.
You were in the World Trade Center when it -- well, you know, Joanne stuttered.
He managed a wry smile. I was meeting with an investor, he explained, which probably makes me more deserving of what I got, in your eyes. Doesn't it?
Mimi found the floor fascinating. What do you think of us, Benny? We aren't cruel.
he agreed. At least you're letting me talk to you today.
Don't get used to it, or anything, Maureen prickled. Just cause today's kind of a special circumstance, so....
Benny said. Well, I won't take up your time. Just that I saw Collins, there. He was already pretty burned, but he was okay otherwise. He paused. But, um, I don't think he is anymore. Okay, I mean. Anymore. He, too, had discovered the ever so interesting aspects of the floor.
What d'you mean? Where did you last see him? Roger demanded.
It's was just before the first one collapsed, Benny explained helplessly. He went back to the building...said something about needing to save some people, that he'd never be forgiven otherwise...I don't know, dammit! The guy had some fucking bent for martyrdom! I couldn't do anything!
He looked to Mimi for support, judging her to be the most sympathetic, but Mimi was already crying softly. Maureen was glaring daggers at him. But Joanne and Roger didn't look accusing, only tired. Really exhausted.
It's okay, Benny, Joanne said. It's not your fault. Collins is Collins, is all.
Roger muttered, but to Benny's relief, it wasn't directed at him. Just a general fuck.'
Benny added. I don't know for sure...I turned around, I didn't see, he might not have gone in, or maybe he still survived.... I mean, Collins is pretty good at surviving. Right?
Roger agreed softly. Yeah. Right. For once, it wasn't sarcastic.
Joanne was nodding, too. she said. I mean, who knows? It's still going on, they're still finding people, taking them to hospitals, he might be fine, and he'd laugh at us for being so worried.
Mimi was still crying. So many people, she whimpered. Roger hugged her close.
Joanne said. So many people. But not us. We're okay. As awful as it sounds, we've got to remember that. We can't change what happened, but it happened, so now we just go on.
Wait and see, Maureen added, and slipped her hand into her lover's. Joanne smiled at her.
Benny said, standing, awkward. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.... A little stiffly, he left, letting the door close quietly behind him.
The phone rang. Roger scooped it up. Hello? Oh, hey, Mark, he said. You're stranded, yeah, I hear. It's kind of crazy over here. He paused, listening. We don't know yet, he replied to some unspecified question. No, we -- they're what? He placed a hand over the receiver. Hey, guys, he asked the group in the loft, did you know they're evacuating everything south of Canal Street? Joanne nodded, the only one. he said, back into the phone. Well, that doesn't affect us. Oh, Benny was here. Pause. Flash grin. Yeah, I know. But, um, he told us, he thinks he saw Collins go into the tower right before it -- yeah. Pause. We don't know, he said. We have to wait and see, but you know that it's probably -- Pause. Wry chuckle. Yeah, right. Long pause. Sorry, man. Look, we'll talk to you later. Yeah, bye. He hung up.
Poor Mark is stuck at his sister's house, again, Roger announced. Mimi managed a watery smile.
said Joanne, ever practical. I think we should get lunch, and bring it back to my place to watch TV, see if anything else happens. I'm sure something else will. It's one of those historic days that you wish you didn't have to live through, but you'll always be proud to remember.
Mimi shook her head. I won't. I wish it hadn't happened. Nothing. Erase today. Her eyes filled with tears again. I don't know how you can eat. It seems so...inappropriate.
How can eating be inappropriate? Joanne asked sensibly. We're still here. We'll still be here tomorrow, too, in all likelihood. It's better to eat. Think how much more miserable you'll be, otherwise. But when she smiled, her eyes weren't too dry, either.
You know, Roger said hesitantly. We'll probably never know. About Collins, I mean. If he was in there when it collapsed -- they might never --Jesus. I just mean, we probably won't ever get confirmation, either way.
We can hope, Joanne replied simply. Come on, let's get lunch, it's not even noon but I'm already starved.
And they went off to hope for the good news that they all knew would never come.
* * * * *
Mark spent hours staring across the river at the new skyline. But he would never get used to it.
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done. pardon my morbidity, but i had to write something about the horrific tragedy that's going on way downtown. oh yeah, and any details should be accurate, except for the ground zero descriptions (i wasn't actually there, i've just been watching cnn nonstop). but especially about st. vincent's being a mob scene. it's nuts. completely insane.
wow, i spent five straight hours writing this.
--kaydee