Title: Out of the Woods
Author: Kath7
E-mail: kath453@yahoo.ca
Rating: PG -13
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. I am just borrowing them. Lyrics to songs by Joe Cocker and Amanda Marshall.
Part 1
January, 2001 - Roswell, New Mexico
"We're going Max! And that's final!" Philip Evans called after his son, his voice finally raised to a yell.
Isabel Evans flinched as her brother slammed his bedroom door. Music suddenly blared from behind it - Metallica if she was not wrong. Darn Michael! she thought. Why did he have to give that CD to Max for Christmas?
She curled up in the corner of the couch, pulling her knees to her chest, resting her chin on her knees. She eyed her father and mother, who were still staring after Max, angry and hurt expressions reflected on their faces.
Why does Max have to be such a jerk all the time? Isabel asked herself for the thousandth time. Why doesn't he care how much he's hurting everyone?
Because he doesn't care about anything anymore, a little voice in the back of her mind told her, and he hasn't for almost a year - ever since Liz Parker walked away from him.
Diane Evans sank into a recliner near Isabel, taking her daughter's hand. "We're sorry that you got pulled into the middle of this again Izzy." Tears were beginning to form in her mother's blue eyes. "We just think that this trip might be good for your brother. He never leaves his room anymore, only to go to school...."
And barely even there, Isabel thought wryly to herself. She couldn't remember the last time she had actually seen Max at school. She knew for a fact that he had almost flunked three of his classes in first semester.
"It's okay Mom," Isabel squeezed her mother's hand. "We did have fun last year, right Daddy?" Philip Evans turned and smiled weakly.
"We sure did Iz." Suddenly his face lit up. "Hey! Do you think Max might want to come if we ask Michael along?"
Isabel nodded reluctantly. Max and Michael were still inseparable. However, she was not currently Michael's biggest fan. "Yeah, probably Dad." Philip nodded enthusiastically.
"And you can invite Tess." Isabel raised an eyebrow.
"I'm not sure that camping is exactly Tess's thing," she muttered. But Isabel knew that if Tess knew that Max was going, she would come. Isabel wasn't really sure she cared one way or the other. Yes, Tess was technically her best friend, but really only due to circumstance.
Isabel felt a brief pang. "Alex..." But she quickly surpressed it. It was too painful. Their break-up had been doubly brutal, because not only had he been her boyfriend, he had been her best friend too - the only non-alien she could really depend on, the only one who had known - and loved - the real her. They had tried so hard to stay together, despite all that destiny crap, but what with Max and Liz and Michael and Maria...it had just been impossible.
Isabel thought she might have been able to handle it if she had had someone to talk to, but there was just no one.Michael was impenetrable, Tess was annoying and Max....
Well, he was no longer MAX. The brother she had loved was gone, and had been for a long time.
Part 2
Liz Parker stared into the mirror, adjusting her uniform's alien headband. She realized that her hands were shaking. She quickly dropped them, clutching her apron, trying to get a hold of herself.
Has it really been over six months since I wore this stupid outfit? She asked herself, continuing to peer into the mirror. I look exactly the same. How can that be?
Despite herself, Liz thought back to the last shift she had worked - or, at least had been scheduled to work. It had been the night that Nasedo had disguised himself as Max and had kidnapped her. From that point on, her life had basically lost control.
And control was the one thing Liz Parker could not live without.
It was the one thing she and Max had always had the most in common, that need for control.
It had been lost almost a year ago - for good.
Liz was dragged from her thoughts by a familiar voice calling from the kitchen. "Lizzie! Where are you???" She smiled despite herself, stepped out of the washroom and suddenly Maria was on her. "You're back! Finally! How come you didn't call me? I have so much to tell you!!!"
Liz covered her best friend's mouth with her hand, raising her eyebrows and falling back immediately into her "sensible Liz" routine. "Maria, calm down or I'll be on the next plane back to London." Maria blinked above Liz's hand, her eyes sparkling with excitement. She finally nodded though when Liz raised her chin questioningly.
"Okay." Liz dropped her hand and grinned. "I missed you so much!" She hugged her friend. When she pulled back, there were tears on Maria's cheeks. "What's wrong?" She demanded, concerned immediately.
"Oh Liz! I'm just so glad that you're back...Nothing has been the same since you've been gone!" Maria hugged Liz again.
"Hey little ladies, can't a guy get a little service around here?" Alex Whitman poked his head through the swinging door leading to the dining room, a grin splitting his face. Liz tried to disentangle herself from Maria, but found that her best friend was refusing to let go. "Hey Alex." She finally said wryly, smiling at her other best friend over Maria's shoulder.
"Hey yourself stranger! It's so great that you're back!"
Liz wondered. It suddenly felt like she had never left, that she had not just spent the last seven months of her life away from Roswell, New Mexico, trying to regain what little control she still had over her life.
Walking away from Max Evans seven months ago had been the hardest thing she had ever had to do in her life. Coming back to Roswell now seemed like it was going to possibly be worse.
Liz's dad suddenly appeared in the service window, a perplexed look on his face. "You girls were planning to work today, were you not?" Jeff Parker asked. "'Cause it's getting really busy out here and I have some guests I need to take care of."
Liz sighed. "Yeah sure Dad. We're coming." She took a deep breath and made her way into the dining room, Alex and Maria close on her heels, both talking a mile a minute.
"So, anyway Liz, there are like 37 million things I have to tell you. First, and by far the most important, Vicky Delaney actually got a nose job. Can you, like, believe that? And she goes around trying to pretend she didn't and she didn't even need to anyway..."
"The band is doing great, we actually have a gig for next weekend."
Liz made her way behind the counter, listening to her friends with half an ear, just happy to be in their company, when she suddenly came to a dead halt.
Sitting on the counter, right in front of the cherry soda machine, was a bottle of Tabasco sauce.
Liz blinked. She turned to look at Maria and Alex. They had both stopped talking abruptly, having noticed Liz's face and were now both staring at the Tabasco bottle as well.
"Well, so much for trying to avoid the topic." Alex finally said, a sad look suddenly on his face.
Liz felt like her whole body was suddenly burning up. "Max."
She turned to look at her friends. "How are they? I mean, how is he?" Liz felt herself strangling as she tried to make her voice work.
Maria and Alex exchanged glances. "Well..." Maria began, clearly uncertain what to say.
Liz knew it was bad if Maria was at a loss for words. She knew what it meant.
"Tess?" She felt her knees about to give out under her. No matter that she had prepared herself for this a thousand times while away, telling herself over and over again, that he was not HERS, that he was Tess's, the thought of it still made her want to scream, weep, and throw up all at the same time.
"OhmyGod, NO!" Maria rushed forward, clearly no longer having trouble speaking. "Max is so NOT with Tess." She rolled her eyes. "Not that she isn't still trying though."
Liz felt as though a breath of fresh air was suddenly blowing through the Crashdown. She clutched at the counter, helping herself around it, sat herself on a stool. "He's not with Tess?" Alex was staring at her worriedly while Maria continued.
"God no!" Maria shuddered. "And Michael is so NOT with Isabel." She snorted suddenly. "Not that Michael's with anybody these days."
"Or Izzy." Alex murmured. Liz watched him rub his forehead, as though he had a splitting headache. She suddenly needed to understand, needed to know exactly what had been going on in Roswell while she had been gone.
While she had been running away from Max Evans.
"Tell me."
Part 3
Alex and Maria exchanged glances again. "You do it Maria. I know you'll only interrupt me if I do it, so tell her." Alex decided.
Liz felt her stomach clench. She just knew that this was not going to be good. "What's wrong?" She asked, hardly believing that calm-sounding question had come from her mouth. She was screaming on the inside.
Maria bit her lip. "I almost don't know where to start Lizzie. Everything is so different." Liz just stared at her. Maria continued. "Okay! Just let me get it organized." She began to mutter to herself.
As Liz waited impatiently, she noticed her dad seated at one of the booths, a cup of coffee clutched in his hands. He was not alone.
She blinked in surprise when she saw Max's dad on the other side of the booth. As she watched, the Crashdown door opened and Sheriff Valenti and Mr. Whitman entered, both making their way to the booth to join the other two men.
"What's going on over there Alex?" She asked. Alex was eyeing Maria incredulously as she continued to talk to herself. He turned to look in the direction Liz was pointing.
"What's my dad doing here?" He wondered aloud. He and Liz exchanged confused looks.
They both snapped their heads back around when Maria suddenly began to talk.
"'kay I'm gonna start with Max," Liz pursed her lips, feeling a sudden urge to grab her best friend by the shoulders and shake it out of her. Maria blanched at the look on Liz's face. "Okay! I'm sorry! Maybe you should tell this Alex!" Alex rolled his eyes. "Anyway, after you left - which by the way I still haven't technically forgiven you for." She made one of her annoyed Maria gestures. "I mean really Liz! Alex and I come over here and your mom tells us that you've up and gone to London, like one day later! What was up with that? You didn't even say good-bye! You didn't even write. You didn't even come back for school."
Liz grimaced. "I know. I really am sorry you guys. I promise I'll tell you everything, but, please..."she pleaded. "Tell me!"
"Just let me calm down a bit," Maria took a sniff of cedar oil and plunked herself down on a stool. "Anyway, Alex and I were here when Max came looking for you." Her blue eyes were distant, as though she was picturing the moment. "He was totally distraught - I mean, I've seen him upset, like when Nasedo kidnapped you, but this was like total craziness."
"Liz, he wasn't himself. He just kept going on and on about how he hated being who he was - that none of it was worth it if it meant that he couldn't be with you, that he wasn't going to lead anyone if he couldn't be with you." Alex inserted. Maria glared at him. He put up his hands in surrender. "Sorry! Sorry!" He shut up and sat down.
"Your dad told him that you were gone." Maria's eyes filled with tears. "His face Liz..."
Liz felt her heart in her throat. She was having trouble controlling her tears as well. "Oh God, Max..." Alex took her hand comfortingly.
"Don't feel guilty Liz." Maria told her. "He seemed to understand. He wasn't mad at you, or even hurt. It was more like he just gave up."
"I talked to Isabel the next day." Alex continued. "We didn't break-up right away. She wanted nothing to do with Michael romantically." He eyed Maria worriedly when she flinched. "She told me that Max was not himself. He was snapping at everyone and refused to come out of his room. When she tried to talk to him, he just stared at her. Not blankly, but like he hated her. It was really scary."
"Anyway, Michael had disappeared at this point. Isabel asked Maria and me to talk to Max to try and get him to see that we needed to find Michael."
Maria sighed, "Max seemed to snap out of it a bit after that. We found Michael eventually. He was staying with River Dog on the Reservation, trying to learn how to control his powers. School had ended by this time. He told me that he was going to try and figure out if he could control them enough to be with me." She paused, her voice cracking as she fought the impending tears. "Max decided that he was going to stay too, try and learn more about what he could do. He said that if he couldn't be with you, he would at least try and do what you wanted him to, which was try and be "the leader." Maria spat out the word, as though it was a curse. "Isabel wouldn't stay, she didn't want to leave her mom or Alex, but Tess did. Max let her, but he made it clear that they were not going to be together. He told all of us that he did not need to be "married" to be the leader. Tess stayed anyway."
"So, the next time we saw the two guys, school had started and they were just...."Alex tried to think of the right word. "I don't know - weird. Isabel said that something happened to them on the Reservation, something that made Max refuse to have anything to do with anyone, except Michael. He seemed particularly pissed off at his parents." Alex paused, "I mean his Ihuman/I parents. He like became the classic smart-ass teen-age son. Isabel said it was the weirdest thing she had ever seen. It looked like Max, but it wasn't him. She just knew it somehow. We almost thought it was Nasedo again, except Tess managed to get a hold of him at the Special Unit and he was still there. Even Tess is a little scared of Max now. She is still trying to get him to be with her. She can't get off her stupid destiny kick." Alex snorted. "Anyway, Max doesn't even know she's alive."
"Michael was just Michael, but like ten times Imore/I Michael," Maria continued. "He told me that it was no use - his powers were just too much. He couldn't be with me." She flushed guiltily. "So I decided to get back at him. I started dating Neil Freemont. I totally flaunted it in his face. He was still working here then."
Alex shook his head. "He totally lost it. He quit the Crashdown, stopped going to school. He and Max just holed themselves up in Michael's apartment."
"Then Max started skipping school." Maria told her.
Liz's mouth fell open. "What?"
"Yeah, he's never there anymore. And, Liz, this is the worst part..." Maria stood up and put her arm around Liz's shoulders. "Are you sure you want to hear this?"
Liz nodded mutely, automatically. She felt like ice. She felt so much guilt, it practically strangled her.
"Liz, he's dating Pam Troy." Liz felt her eyes roll back in her head. Alex grabbed her, forcing her to sit down.
Suddenly Mr. Parker was there, pressing a wet napkin to Liz's forehead. "Honey! Are you okay?"
The Sheriff, Mr. Evans and Mr. Whitman were all standing there too, varying expressions of concern on their faces. Liz pulled away from her father.
"Sorry, yeah, I'm fine Dad." She picked up a glass, asked Maria to fill it with water, and quickly gulped down the contents. "I think it's the climate - I'm not used to it anymore," she improvised quickly.
"Honey, it's January." Mr. Parker replied, confused.
"Yeah, but it's so rainy in London, not dry like here." Liz pulled herself together.
"What are you doing here Dad?" Alex asked suddenly, apparently trying to change the subject so the Dad spotlight would leave Liz.
Mr. Whitman blinked behind his thick glasses. "Oh, Jim, Jeff, Phillip and I were planning for the Father's Camp-out in Fraser Woods."
"WHAT???" Alex, Maria and Liz all yelled together, then looked around sheepishly.
Mr. Parker eyed them. "You guys do want to go don't you? We had such a great time last year...Jim suggested that we all go again this year and set up our camps together. We thought you'd want to go, you know be with your friends..." He trailed off uncertainly. The three teens were just staring at him incredulously.
Sheriff Valenti was putting on his hat. He dropped a dollar bill on the counter. "Kyle and I go every year. He's really looking forward to catching up with you Miss Parker." He said to Liz. "Roswell missed you while you were gone." The expression on his face spoke volumes. The Sheriff knew what was going on - he always had. He grinned sympathetically. "Thanks for the coffee Jeff. I'll see you all at the bus tomorrow evening."
"Mr. Evans, Max is coming?" Maria asked bluntly, then blushed.
Mr. Evans sighed. "Well, he didn't exactly say he would, but I didn't give him much choice." Liz felt sad when she saw the pained expression on Max's dad's face. "He agreed when Michael said he'd come. Izzy is looking forward to it." Alex snickered at that statement. Mr. Evans stared at him momentarily, confused, then continued, "And Tess has agreed to join us too."
"I'm surprised they are allowed to come to a school function, since they're never at school." Alex muttered under his breath so that only Liz heard him.
"And, of course, Maria you're invited to tent with Lizzie and I." Mr. Parker grinned at her. Maria smiled back weakly, clearly not happy about it, but not wanting to hurt Liz's dad's feelings.
Liz felt weak with frustration. How could their dads all be so oblivious?
The fathers left the teens then, as Jeff Parker walked Mr. Evans and Mr. Whitman to the door.
"Oh, this is just great!" Maria fumed. "Forty-eight hours of Michael Guerin in the bloody boonies!" Alex looked hopeful.
"Maybe Izzy and I can do some stargazing again." Maria elbowed him.
"Climb yourself out of the alien abyss buddy. You know you and Isabel decided that it was just too complicated. You can't do that to yourself OR her. It was hard enough a couple of months ago."
Liz just shook her head, still trying to take in all that she had heard in the last half an hour.
"Maria, please tell me you were kidding about Pam Troy." She said suddenly.
"I wish I was Liz." Maria wrinkled her nose. "I told you - Max is not Iyour/I Max anymore. He is totally different."
While the thought of Max and Pam Troy made Liz physically ill, strangely it also had a galvanizing effect on Liz. It was the one thing that told her that Max could still be reached.
For, suddenly, with utter clarity, Liz knew what was wrong with Max Evans.
He was punishing her.
Dating Pam Troy was the ultimate sign of it. He had deliberately decided to date the one person that he must know would drive Liz literally insane. While Max being with Tess, would have hurt Liz, she would have accepted it, because Ishe/I was the one who had encouraged him to do it, who had told him he had to.
Pam Troy was his way of getting back at her. He could not be more obvious if he tried. He knew that Pam Troy had been her arch-nemesis at school since the fourth grade. He was thumbing his nose at her and was taking it out on their friends.
Liz was quickly losing her sadness and guilt. She was beginning to get angry...and determined.
"Mr. Perfect, Mr. Dreamy Max Evans is no more." Maria was saying sadly, clearly on a roll. "He's been replaced by Mr. Meanie, Mr. I Hate the World, particularly anyone who ever loved me Max Evans."
"We'll see about that," Liz replied.
Part 4
Liz had barely slept all night.
While she had decided that she was going to find out what the heck Max thought he was doing, that did not mean that her heart was not still in her throat at the thought of actually seeing him.
The last time she had seen him had been at the pod chamber. The pleading way he had begged her to stay, the way he had looked like a lost little boy when he had told her that she meant everything to him...
It had taken all her strength to walk away from him. She had barely managed to control her tears, but seeing Max on the verge of weeping himself had almost been her undoing.
Max had always been the strong one - first loving her for so long, so silently, so completely, so sure that she was never going to notice him, yet remaining so faithful...
Then he had taken the step back, not because he had wanted to, but because he feared for her. She had not believed him when he had told her that he was scared of the way he felt about her. It had been an excuse, his way of protecting her.
Finally she had convinced him that he couldn't control everything, all the time - that he couldn't stop her from loving him just because he was afraid she would be hurt.
But he had been right all along - she had been hurt, but not by him.
She had done it to herself. She had not been brave enough to stand by him when he had wanted to make it work despite all they had heard from his real mother.
Maria had told her the night she had returned from the desert that Ishe/I had been brave, selfless, that Max would thank her someday, that if it was meant to be they would find their way back to each other.
But Liz had been afraid. She had been afraid of falling even more in love with him and of then losing him in the long run. She could barely stand it then. How would she handle it after more time with him?
And so she had run away.
Her parents had not known what to do with her when she had come home. She had been gone for over twenty-four hours - again. Her mom had ranted about the influence Ithat/I boy was having on her, that she was too young, that she and Max had to start behaving more responsibly.
Liz had just sat on the couch, in a daze, not really listening to a word of her mother's tirade. All she kept thinking was, "How can I live without ever touching him again?" How could she live never again feeling that connection that she knew she would never, ever, in a million years feel with anyone else? She hadn't even commented when her mom told her that they were sending her to stay with her aunt in England for the summer, that if she still felt the same way about Max when she came back, well then they would consider letting her see him again.
See him again...As if she would ever stop seeing him! She didn't need to be in his company to see him, to know him. She had seen into his soul - more than once in fact.
She had always been rational, in control. She had never believed that every person had a "soulmate," that one person that completed them. She had believed that people could be happy with any number of people as long as they had things in common.
But when Max Evans had touched her for the first time - he had done a lot more than just healing a physical wound. He had healed her soul - had opened her heart to the fact that there were people in the world meant for each other. As she had told him a thousand times, he had brought her to life.
She had continued to run away. When the summer had ended, she had stayed in London, had enrolled in a semester-long exchange program. Her mother had been ecstatic when Liz had told her her plans on the phone.
"I told you Liz. There is such a big world out there. What you and Max had was special, but you're both only teenagers. It would never have worked in the long run."
Liz had not responded. Her dad had not been as easy to fool though.
"Are you sure Lizzie?" He had asked in his quiet, concerned way.
"Yeah Dad." He didn't believe her, but he let it go. Mr. Parker had always been more sensitive to what was really going on with his daughter. Their relationship had improved again after the last camping trip, when he had finally figured out that although his daughter was growing up, she would always be his little girl. He had gotten to know Max and had always been more reasonable about the way Liz felt about him then Nancy had. In fact, he liked Max a lot - liked the way he made Liz glow.
When the semester had ended, Liz had returned to Roswell. She had not felt any more capable of facing Max - but it had been time.
But now - now that she had heard that Max had apparently lost his mind, that Maria and Alex and even Isabel had had to deal with it all on their own...Well, she was angry.
Liz had realized for the first time that it wasn't all just about she and Max.
Yes, what they had was special, but what she shared with the five others in their small group was special too.
She had let them down for the last time. She was going to get the real Max back, help Maria figure out what was going on with Michael, and help poor Alex and Izzy, who had basically been caught in the middle of the whole mess, find their way back to each other.
Liz had decided not to go back to school that day. She would start on Monday. So the first time she would see everyone else would be at the bus that night. She knew that it was not going to be fun, but she was determined. They had a whole weekend to work everything out.
They had all been close once - brought together by circumstance, had fought to stay close, but, in the end, when the going was roughest, they had all given up.
It was going to end this weekend on the same camping trip that had begun the string of events that had brought them to this point.
As Liz threw clothes into her duffel bag, she thought back to that last Father's Camping trip. She had paid Maria to accompany her, Alex had hauled his father along because he knew Isabel was going to be there, Max and Izzy had gone because of the sighting - the sighting that had turned out to be Nasedo's first signal to them. That had led them all to that pod chamber several months later, when all their hopes and dreams for themselves had been shattered.
Liz and Max had still technically been on the outs during that trip, but it had also been the first time Liz had really admitted to herself that she was not going to give up on Max Evans. The way he had looked at her when he had had to leave her and Maria to face those dogs had told her that he had felt the same way.
She wondered briefly what Max was going to say to her when she saw him later today. She had absolutely no idea. She just could not picture him being rude or mean, but from the way Maria and Alex talked, it might happen. It was not a pleasant thought.
An even more unpleasant thought was that he might ignore her altogether. She could not remember a time that she had been in Max's presence that he hadn't looked at her in some way, totally aware that she was in the same room. It had seemed that he had been totally incapable of ignoring her. The looks had sometimes been longing or sad, but always loving. They had often been teasing or lustful in happier times. The ones she liked the best though were the ones that told her that nothing that happened was ever going to change the way he felt about her.
Liz felt a lump rising in her throat. She stared at a photo of Max that still sat on her bedside table. Maria had snapped it for a photography project she had done the previous school year.
It was totally candid. He was seated on a bench in the quad, munching on a bag of Doritos, a bottle of Tabasco at his elbow. He had a book open in front of him and he was avidly reading.
Liz even remembered the book. It was The Alienist by Caleb Carr, one of her favorites. She had given it to him for his birthday. He had quirked an eyebrow at her questioningly when he had opened it. "The Alienist?" he had asked wryly. "Is this about what I think it is?"
Liz had grinned and replied, "Not alien silly, alienist. It's the old-fashioned word for psychiatrist."
Max had grinned teasingly. "Are you trying to tell me something?" Liz had rolled her eyes. Just as she knew would be the case, he had been unable to put it down after he started it. When he had finally finished - it was a long, dense book - she had asked him what he thought of it.
He had looked at her seriously for a moment and then replied, "That Sarah character reminded me of you." It had been the nicest thing he had ever said to her. Sarah was totally logical and Liz had identified very strongly with her. That Max saw it to, that he understood why she found the book so fascinating...It had moved her.
It had been just as everything about Max had always moved her. She was going to get the REAL Max back, the sensitive Max who almost cared too much about others, whose selflessness sometimes bordered on selfishness, so determined was he to protect the people he loved.
She had not yet encountered the anti-Max that had apparently been inhabiting Max's body for six months, but she knew that she could get rid of him. She just had to know what she was up against.
She would find out tonight.
Part 5
Mr. Parker and Liz picked up Maria on their way to the high school to meet the bus. Liz laughed when she noticed that her friend was wearing the same big, fuzzy boots she had worn on the trip last year.
"Tradition?" She inquired teasingly. Maria rolled her eyes.
"If you must know, they really annoy Michael. Thought I might as well have some fun if I have to be in his presence."
Mr. Parker eyed her in the rear-view mirror. "How is Michael anyway? Haven't seen much of him around the restaurant lately."
"Dad!" Liz exclaimed. It astounded her on occasion how totally clueless their parents were. It was perfectly obvious that Maria and Michael were not exactly on the best of terms - of course, they had not exactly been on the best of terms even when they HAD been dating.
"What?" Mr. Parker asked.
Liz sighed. "Never mind. Just please don't like ask Michael a ton of annoying questions when you see him."
Mr. Parker looked hurt. "Okay Honey." He said quietly.
Liz sighed again. Oh, great. Now I've hurt his feelings. The stress of anticipating her first glimpse of Max was beginning to take its toll on her.
They pulled into the school's parking lot. Maria had her face plastered against the window, scanning the crowd. "There's Alex. Looks like he and Mr. Whitman actually brought a tent this year."
Liz followed Maria's gaze. Actually, it looked as though Mr. Whitman had brought the entire stock of Mountain Equipment Co-op. Alex was standing in the middle of a pile of camping articles, looking mildly bemused. His dad was showing him how to light the Coleman camp light in his hand.
The girls and Mr. Parker joined them. Alex addressed them in relief. "Thank God you girls are here. My dad has gone all Grizzly Adams on me."
Mr. Whitman looked up, blinked and said. "Hey Jeff. Girls."
Alex, Liz and Maria left the two dads talking and went to stand near the bus, conferring quietly. "Any sign of the Czechs yet?" Liz asked nervously.
"Nope." Alex responded. "Isabel called me this afternoon." He looked suddenly happier. Liz and Maria exchanged looks.
"Alex, how many times do I have to tell you..." Maria began. Alex scowled, cutting her off.
"I know, I know. Just drop it okay? She just wanted to let me know that Max and Michael were officially coming. She said that Max actually seemed semi-excited about it."
Liz felt her mood lighten. Maybe this wouldn't be so hard after all.
"What about Tess?" Maria asked. Alex grimaced slightly, glancing at Liz.
"Unfortunately she's coming too. And there's even worse news. Max invited Pam and her father to come as well."
Liz felt momentarily ill, but then shrugged. "Well, it's to be expected. I knew that this wasn't going to be easy."
The three friends froze when they suddenly recognized the Evans's car pulling into the parking lot. They were all distracted though when Kyle Valenti suddenly appeared from the other side of the bus. He had a fishing rod in his hand.
"Hey Liz!" He came forward, a pleased expression on his face. "It's great to see you! My dad told me you were coming." Liz smiled at him, surprised that she was genuinely happy to see him. She hadn't actually laid eyes on Kyle since the day he was shot and Max had healed him.
"Hi Kyle." She walked forward, hugging him.
As she tried to pull back, she realized that his fishing rod had become entangled in her hair. Kyle tugged on it, but it only became more caught. She felt herself giggling, realized that she was quickly losing it - she never giggled. Kyle still had his arms around her as he attempted to unhook her hair.
Of course, at that exact moment, Max Evans walked right past them.
Liz felt her heart stop. She was surprised to see that he looked exactly the same. With all the talk about how different he was, she had expected him to somehow look different.
But no, he looked great. His dark hair still curled adorably at the back of his neck, he was still attractively muscular and walked with that shy, don't notice me gait that had always made Liz's breath quicken. He was wearing khakis and a dark sweater, and was swinging a back-pack up over his shoulder as he walked.
Her heart was racing, her skin tingling. Max! Max....oh, my love...
And right beside him was Pam Troy. Liz blanched.
Max didn't notice she and Kyle right away, but she knew it was only a matter of time. She tried desperately to untangle her hair, but every move she made just made it worse. Maria had sized up the situation quickly and was slapping Kyle's hands, trying to get them off Liz.
"Ow!" Kyle exclaimed, staring at Maria, annoyed. "What the hell Deluca?" Liz sighed. So much for escaping Max's notice.
He stopped abruptly and stared at her. His dark eyes were bright for one, heart-pounding moment, and then they narrowed.
It was only then that Liz noticed that Isabel, Michael and Tess were there too. Her entire being had been focused on Max - and Pam.
Isabel was biting her bottom lip, looking upset, but hopeful. She kept glancing between Liz and Max. Tess was watching Liz with interest, not maliciously, but not kindly either. Liz felt briefly like some peculiar lab specimen that Tess was about to do an experiment on.
Michael just looked weird. He stared right through all of them, seemingly oblivious to anything going on around him. Liz glanced briefly at Maria, who had retreated behind Alex and was trying to appear like she was fixing the strap on his backpack.
"Hey guys!" Alex said, much too cheerfully. It was clear that he was trying to break the awkward silence. Isabel smiled weakly at him, Kyle stared and Liz felt like she was going to faint.
She grabbed the fish hook in her hair and gave a quick yank. It broke free, taking what felt like half her scalp with it. She looked back at Max. His expression was unreadable, but his eyes...
They were scalding.
Pam Troy looked a little different. She wore her hair a little longer, but her attire, as usual, was entirely inappropriate for her surroundings. She was wearing a very low-cut blouse, tight jeans and so much make-up, Liz briefly wondered if she was auditioning to be Tammy Faye Baker in her next life.
"Well, if it isn't Liz Parker." Pam said, in her false sweet voice. It had nastiness barely veiled under the surface though. It grated on Liz's nerves as much now as it had during her sophomore year. "Back from her little European jaunt. Funny, didn't really notice she wasn't around." She said this to Max, who was still staring at Liz, unmoving. He glanced briefly at Kyle's hand on her arm, then back at her face
"Liz!" Isabel stepped forward and started chattering in an entirely un-Isabel-like manner, giving Pam a dirty look. Pam wilted a little under Isabel's icy stare. Even Tess was sneering at her. "It's so great to see you! How was England? Did you see any shows, do any shopping?"
Liz couldn't answer. She was still staring at Max, waiting for some sign from him.
There was no sign. He just looked at her like she was a total stranger - no, actually he looked at her like he was working on the same lab experiment Tess was involved in.
The eyes she had gazed into so many times were cold and hard. He was staring at her with a look of distaste on his face.
And then he did something that was deliberate and so cruel, Liz felt her heart shatter. He picked up Pam's hand and pulled her away. About ten feet away he stopped abruptly, dropped his backpack and started kissing her.
Maria gasped. "Let's get out of here." She put her arm around Liz's shoulders and started to lead Liz away. Isabel stared at her brother and his girlfriend, a disgusted look on her face. Michael was eyeing Liz with interest, not unkindly, just in a way that was totally unlike Michael. She again felt like she was under a microscope in some horrible lab experiment gone awry.
Kyle looked shocked. "Hey Evans, you're a real jerk, you know that!" He called after Max and Pam. Max broke the kiss briefly, grinned at Kyle. Liz could understand how her friends had thought that the new Max was Nasedo at first. His smile was just as heartless as Nasedo Max's had been when he had scraped his gaze up and down Liz during their brief adventure together the previous year. Max gazed coldly, challengingly, at Liz once more, picked up his backpack and led Pam away.
To be continued
Author: Kath7
E-mail: kath453@yahoo.ca
Rating: PG -13
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. I am just borrowing them. Lyrics to songs by Joe Cocker and Amanda Marshall.
Part 1
January, 2001 - Roswell, New Mexico
"We're going Max! And that's final!" Philip Evans called after his son, his voice finally raised to a yell.
Isabel Evans flinched as her brother slammed his bedroom door. Music suddenly blared from behind it - Metallica if she was not wrong. Darn Michael! she thought. Why did he have to give that CD to Max for Christmas?
She curled up in the corner of the couch, pulling her knees to her chest, resting her chin on her knees. She eyed her father and mother, who were still staring after Max, angry and hurt expressions reflected on their faces.
Why does Max have to be such a jerk all the time? Isabel asked herself for the thousandth time. Why doesn't he care how much he's hurting everyone?
Because he doesn't care about anything anymore, a little voice in the back of her mind told her, and he hasn't for almost a year - ever since Liz Parker walked away from him.
Diane Evans sank into a recliner near Isabel, taking her daughter's hand. "We're sorry that you got pulled into the middle of this again Izzy." Tears were beginning to form in her mother's blue eyes. "We just think that this trip might be good for your brother. He never leaves his room anymore, only to go to school...."
And barely even there, Isabel thought wryly to herself. She couldn't remember the last time she had actually seen Max at school. She knew for a fact that he had almost flunked three of his classes in first semester.
"It's okay Mom," Isabel squeezed her mother's hand. "We did have fun last year, right Daddy?" Philip Evans turned and smiled weakly.
"We sure did Iz." Suddenly his face lit up. "Hey! Do you think Max might want to come if we ask Michael along?"
Isabel nodded reluctantly. Max and Michael were still inseparable. However, she was not currently Michael's biggest fan. "Yeah, probably Dad." Philip nodded enthusiastically.
"And you can invite Tess." Isabel raised an eyebrow.
"I'm not sure that camping is exactly Tess's thing," she muttered. But Isabel knew that if Tess knew that Max was going, she would come. Isabel wasn't really sure she cared one way or the other. Yes, Tess was technically her best friend, but really only due to circumstance.
Isabel felt a brief pang. "Alex..." But she quickly surpressed it. It was too painful. Their break-up had been doubly brutal, because not only had he been her boyfriend, he had been her best friend too - the only non-alien she could really depend on, the only one who had known - and loved - the real her. They had tried so hard to stay together, despite all that destiny crap, but what with Max and Liz and Michael and Maria...it had just been impossible.
Isabel thought she might have been able to handle it if she had had someone to talk to, but there was just no one.Michael was impenetrable, Tess was annoying and Max....
Well, he was no longer MAX. The brother she had loved was gone, and had been for a long time.
Part 2
Liz Parker stared into the mirror, adjusting her uniform's alien headband. She realized that her hands were shaking. She quickly dropped them, clutching her apron, trying to get a hold of herself.
Has it really been over six months since I wore this stupid outfit? She asked herself, continuing to peer into the mirror. I look exactly the same. How can that be?
Despite herself, Liz thought back to the last shift she had worked - or, at least had been scheduled to work. It had been the night that Nasedo had disguised himself as Max and had kidnapped her. From that point on, her life had basically lost control.
And control was the one thing Liz Parker could not live without.
It was the one thing she and Max had always had the most in common, that need for control.
It had been lost almost a year ago - for good.
Liz was dragged from her thoughts by a familiar voice calling from the kitchen. "Lizzie! Where are you???" She smiled despite herself, stepped out of the washroom and suddenly Maria was on her. "You're back! Finally! How come you didn't call me? I have so much to tell you!!!"
Liz covered her best friend's mouth with her hand, raising her eyebrows and falling back immediately into her "sensible Liz" routine. "Maria, calm down or I'll be on the next plane back to London." Maria blinked above Liz's hand, her eyes sparkling with excitement. She finally nodded though when Liz raised her chin questioningly.
"Okay." Liz dropped her hand and grinned. "I missed you so much!" She hugged her friend. When she pulled back, there were tears on Maria's cheeks. "What's wrong?" She demanded, concerned immediately.
"Oh Liz! I'm just so glad that you're back...Nothing has been the same since you've been gone!" Maria hugged Liz again.
"Hey little ladies, can't a guy get a little service around here?" Alex Whitman poked his head through the swinging door leading to the dining room, a grin splitting his face. Liz tried to disentangle herself from Maria, but found that her best friend was refusing to let go. "Hey Alex." She finally said wryly, smiling at her other best friend over Maria's shoulder.
"Hey yourself stranger! It's so great that you're back!"
Liz wondered. It suddenly felt like she had never left, that she had not just spent the last seven months of her life away from Roswell, New Mexico, trying to regain what little control she still had over her life.
Walking away from Max Evans seven months ago had been the hardest thing she had ever had to do in her life. Coming back to Roswell now seemed like it was going to possibly be worse.
Liz's dad suddenly appeared in the service window, a perplexed look on his face. "You girls were planning to work today, were you not?" Jeff Parker asked. "'Cause it's getting really busy out here and I have some guests I need to take care of."
Liz sighed. "Yeah sure Dad. We're coming." She took a deep breath and made her way into the dining room, Alex and Maria close on her heels, both talking a mile a minute.
"So, anyway Liz, there are like 37 million things I have to tell you. First, and by far the most important, Vicky Delaney actually got a nose job. Can you, like, believe that? And she goes around trying to pretend she didn't and she didn't even need to anyway..."
"The band is doing great, we actually have a gig for next weekend."
Liz made her way behind the counter, listening to her friends with half an ear, just happy to be in their company, when she suddenly came to a dead halt.
Sitting on the counter, right in front of the cherry soda machine, was a bottle of Tabasco sauce.
Liz blinked. She turned to look at Maria and Alex. They had both stopped talking abruptly, having noticed Liz's face and were now both staring at the Tabasco bottle as well.
"Well, so much for trying to avoid the topic." Alex finally said, a sad look suddenly on his face.
Liz felt like her whole body was suddenly burning up. "Max."
She turned to look at her friends. "How are they? I mean, how is he?" Liz felt herself strangling as she tried to make her voice work.
Maria and Alex exchanged glances. "Well..." Maria began, clearly uncertain what to say.
Liz knew it was bad if Maria was at a loss for words. She knew what it meant.
"Tess?" She felt her knees about to give out under her. No matter that she had prepared herself for this a thousand times while away, telling herself over and over again, that he was not HERS, that he was Tess's, the thought of it still made her want to scream, weep, and throw up all at the same time.
"OhmyGod, NO!" Maria rushed forward, clearly no longer having trouble speaking. "Max is so NOT with Tess." She rolled her eyes. "Not that she isn't still trying though."
Liz felt as though a breath of fresh air was suddenly blowing through the Crashdown. She clutched at the counter, helping herself around it, sat herself on a stool. "He's not with Tess?" Alex was staring at her worriedly while Maria continued.
"God no!" Maria shuddered. "And Michael is so NOT with Isabel." She snorted suddenly. "Not that Michael's with anybody these days."
"Or Izzy." Alex murmured. Liz watched him rub his forehead, as though he had a splitting headache. She suddenly needed to understand, needed to know exactly what had been going on in Roswell while she had been gone.
While she had been running away from Max Evans.
"Tell me."
Part 3
Alex and Maria exchanged glances again. "You do it Maria. I know you'll only interrupt me if I do it, so tell her." Alex decided.
Liz felt her stomach clench. She just knew that this was not going to be good. "What's wrong?" She asked, hardly believing that calm-sounding question had come from her mouth. She was screaming on the inside.
Maria bit her lip. "I almost don't know where to start Lizzie. Everything is so different." Liz just stared at her. Maria continued. "Okay! Just let me get it organized." She began to mutter to herself.
As Liz waited impatiently, she noticed her dad seated at one of the booths, a cup of coffee clutched in his hands. He was not alone.
She blinked in surprise when she saw Max's dad on the other side of the booth. As she watched, the Crashdown door opened and Sheriff Valenti and Mr. Whitman entered, both making their way to the booth to join the other two men.
"What's going on over there Alex?" She asked. Alex was eyeing Maria incredulously as she continued to talk to herself. He turned to look in the direction Liz was pointing.
"What's my dad doing here?" He wondered aloud. He and Liz exchanged confused looks.
They both snapped their heads back around when Maria suddenly began to talk.
"'kay I'm gonna start with Max," Liz pursed her lips, feeling a sudden urge to grab her best friend by the shoulders and shake it out of her. Maria blanched at the look on Liz's face. "Okay! I'm sorry! Maybe you should tell this Alex!" Alex rolled his eyes. "Anyway, after you left - which by the way I still haven't technically forgiven you for." She made one of her annoyed Maria gestures. "I mean really Liz! Alex and I come over here and your mom tells us that you've up and gone to London, like one day later! What was up with that? You didn't even say good-bye! You didn't even write. You didn't even come back for school."
Liz grimaced. "I know. I really am sorry you guys. I promise I'll tell you everything, but, please..."she pleaded. "Tell me!"
"Just let me calm down a bit," Maria took a sniff of cedar oil and plunked herself down on a stool. "Anyway, Alex and I were here when Max came looking for you." Her blue eyes were distant, as though she was picturing the moment. "He was totally distraught - I mean, I've seen him upset, like when Nasedo kidnapped you, but this was like total craziness."
"Liz, he wasn't himself. He just kept going on and on about how he hated being who he was - that none of it was worth it if it meant that he couldn't be with you, that he wasn't going to lead anyone if he couldn't be with you." Alex inserted. Maria glared at him. He put up his hands in surrender. "Sorry! Sorry!" He shut up and sat down.
"Your dad told him that you were gone." Maria's eyes filled with tears. "His face Liz..."
Liz felt her heart in her throat. She was having trouble controlling her tears as well. "Oh God, Max..." Alex took her hand comfortingly.
"Don't feel guilty Liz." Maria told her. "He seemed to understand. He wasn't mad at you, or even hurt. It was more like he just gave up."
"I talked to Isabel the next day." Alex continued. "We didn't break-up right away. She wanted nothing to do with Michael romantically." He eyed Maria worriedly when she flinched. "She told me that Max was not himself. He was snapping at everyone and refused to come out of his room. When she tried to talk to him, he just stared at her. Not blankly, but like he hated her. It was really scary."
"Anyway, Michael had disappeared at this point. Isabel asked Maria and me to talk to Max to try and get him to see that we needed to find Michael."
Maria sighed, "Max seemed to snap out of it a bit after that. We found Michael eventually. He was staying with River Dog on the Reservation, trying to learn how to control his powers. School had ended by this time. He told me that he was going to try and figure out if he could control them enough to be with me." She paused, her voice cracking as she fought the impending tears. "Max decided that he was going to stay too, try and learn more about what he could do. He said that if he couldn't be with you, he would at least try and do what you wanted him to, which was try and be "the leader." Maria spat out the word, as though it was a curse. "Isabel wouldn't stay, she didn't want to leave her mom or Alex, but Tess did. Max let her, but he made it clear that they were not going to be together. He told all of us that he did not need to be "married" to be the leader. Tess stayed anyway."
"So, the next time we saw the two guys, school had started and they were just...."Alex tried to think of the right word. "I don't know - weird. Isabel said that something happened to them on the Reservation, something that made Max refuse to have anything to do with anyone, except Michael. He seemed particularly pissed off at his parents." Alex paused, "I mean his Ihuman/I parents. He like became the classic smart-ass teen-age son. Isabel said it was the weirdest thing she had ever seen. It looked like Max, but it wasn't him. She just knew it somehow. We almost thought it was Nasedo again, except Tess managed to get a hold of him at the Special Unit and he was still there. Even Tess is a little scared of Max now. She is still trying to get him to be with her. She can't get off her stupid destiny kick." Alex snorted. "Anyway, Max doesn't even know she's alive."
"Michael was just Michael, but like ten times Imore/I Michael," Maria continued. "He told me that it was no use - his powers were just too much. He couldn't be with me." She flushed guiltily. "So I decided to get back at him. I started dating Neil Freemont. I totally flaunted it in his face. He was still working here then."
Alex shook his head. "He totally lost it. He quit the Crashdown, stopped going to school. He and Max just holed themselves up in Michael's apartment."
"Then Max started skipping school." Maria told her.
Liz's mouth fell open. "What?"
"Yeah, he's never there anymore. And, Liz, this is the worst part..." Maria stood up and put her arm around Liz's shoulders. "Are you sure you want to hear this?"
Liz nodded mutely, automatically. She felt like ice. She felt so much guilt, it practically strangled her.
"Liz, he's dating Pam Troy." Liz felt her eyes roll back in her head. Alex grabbed her, forcing her to sit down.
Suddenly Mr. Parker was there, pressing a wet napkin to Liz's forehead. "Honey! Are you okay?"
The Sheriff, Mr. Evans and Mr. Whitman were all standing there too, varying expressions of concern on their faces. Liz pulled away from her father.
"Sorry, yeah, I'm fine Dad." She picked up a glass, asked Maria to fill it with water, and quickly gulped down the contents. "I think it's the climate - I'm not used to it anymore," she improvised quickly.
"Honey, it's January." Mr. Parker replied, confused.
"Yeah, but it's so rainy in London, not dry like here." Liz pulled herself together.
"What are you doing here Dad?" Alex asked suddenly, apparently trying to change the subject so the Dad spotlight would leave Liz.
Mr. Whitman blinked behind his thick glasses. "Oh, Jim, Jeff, Phillip and I were planning for the Father's Camp-out in Fraser Woods."
"WHAT???" Alex, Maria and Liz all yelled together, then looked around sheepishly.
Mr. Parker eyed them. "You guys do want to go don't you? We had such a great time last year...Jim suggested that we all go again this year and set up our camps together. We thought you'd want to go, you know be with your friends..." He trailed off uncertainly. The three teens were just staring at him incredulously.
Sheriff Valenti was putting on his hat. He dropped a dollar bill on the counter. "Kyle and I go every year. He's really looking forward to catching up with you Miss Parker." He said to Liz. "Roswell missed you while you were gone." The expression on his face spoke volumes. The Sheriff knew what was going on - he always had. He grinned sympathetically. "Thanks for the coffee Jeff. I'll see you all at the bus tomorrow evening."
"Mr. Evans, Max is coming?" Maria asked bluntly, then blushed.
Mr. Evans sighed. "Well, he didn't exactly say he would, but I didn't give him much choice." Liz felt sad when she saw the pained expression on Max's dad's face. "He agreed when Michael said he'd come. Izzy is looking forward to it." Alex snickered at that statement. Mr. Evans stared at him momentarily, confused, then continued, "And Tess has agreed to join us too."
"I'm surprised they are allowed to come to a school function, since they're never at school." Alex muttered under his breath so that only Liz heard him.
"And, of course, Maria you're invited to tent with Lizzie and I." Mr. Parker grinned at her. Maria smiled back weakly, clearly not happy about it, but not wanting to hurt Liz's dad's feelings.
Liz felt weak with frustration. How could their dads all be so oblivious?
The fathers left the teens then, as Jeff Parker walked Mr. Evans and Mr. Whitman to the door.
"Oh, this is just great!" Maria fumed. "Forty-eight hours of Michael Guerin in the bloody boonies!" Alex looked hopeful.
"Maybe Izzy and I can do some stargazing again." Maria elbowed him.
"Climb yourself out of the alien abyss buddy. You know you and Isabel decided that it was just too complicated. You can't do that to yourself OR her. It was hard enough a couple of months ago."
Liz just shook her head, still trying to take in all that she had heard in the last half an hour.
"Maria, please tell me you were kidding about Pam Troy." She said suddenly.
"I wish I was Liz." Maria wrinkled her nose. "I told you - Max is not Iyour/I Max anymore. He is totally different."
While the thought of Max and Pam Troy made Liz physically ill, strangely it also had a galvanizing effect on Liz. It was the one thing that told her that Max could still be reached.
For, suddenly, with utter clarity, Liz knew what was wrong with Max Evans.
He was punishing her.
Dating Pam Troy was the ultimate sign of it. He had deliberately decided to date the one person that he must know would drive Liz literally insane. While Max being with Tess, would have hurt Liz, she would have accepted it, because Ishe/I was the one who had encouraged him to do it, who had told him he had to.
Pam Troy was his way of getting back at her. He could not be more obvious if he tried. He knew that Pam Troy had been her arch-nemesis at school since the fourth grade. He was thumbing his nose at her and was taking it out on their friends.
Liz was quickly losing her sadness and guilt. She was beginning to get angry...and determined.
"Mr. Perfect, Mr. Dreamy Max Evans is no more." Maria was saying sadly, clearly on a roll. "He's been replaced by Mr. Meanie, Mr. I Hate the World, particularly anyone who ever loved me Max Evans."
"We'll see about that," Liz replied.
Part 4
Liz had barely slept all night.
While she had decided that she was going to find out what the heck Max thought he was doing, that did not mean that her heart was not still in her throat at the thought of actually seeing him.
The last time she had seen him had been at the pod chamber. The pleading way he had begged her to stay, the way he had looked like a lost little boy when he had told her that she meant everything to him...
It had taken all her strength to walk away from him. She had barely managed to control her tears, but seeing Max on the verge of weeping himself had almost been her undoing.
Max had always been the strong one - first loving her for so long, so silently, so completely, so sure that she was never going to notice him, yet remaining so faithful...
Then he had taken the step back, not because he had wanted to, but because he feared for her. She had not believed him when he had told her that he was scared of the way he felt about her. It had been an excuse, his way of protecting her.
Finally she had convinced him that he couldn't control everything, all the time - that he couldn't stop her from loving him just because he was afraid she would be hurt.
But he had been right all along - she had been hurt, but not by him.
She had done it to herself. She had not been brave enough to stand by him when he had wanted to make it work despite all they had heard from his real mother.
Maria had told her the night she had returned from the desert that Ishe/I had been brave, selfless, that Max would thank her someday, that if it was meant to be they would find their way back to each other.
But Liz had been afraid. She had been afraid of falling even more in love with him and of then losing him in the long run. She could barely stand it then. How would she handle it after more time with him?
And so she had run away.
Her parents had not known what to do with her when she had come home. She had been gone for over twenty-four hours - again. Her mom had ranted about the influence Ithat/I boy was having on her, that she was too young, that she and Max had to start behaving more responsibly.
Liz had just sat on the couch, in a daze, not really listening to a word of her mother's tirade. All she kept thinking was, "How can I live without ever touching him again?" How could she live never again feeling that connection that she knew she would never, ever, in a million years feel with anyone else? She hadn't even commented when her mom told her that they were sending her to stay with her aunt in England for the summer, that if she still felt the same way about Max when she came back, well then they would consider letting her see him again.
See him again...As if she would ever stop seeing him! She didn't need to be in his company to see him, to know him. She had seen into his soul - more than once in fact.
She had always been rational, in control. She had never believed that every person had a "soulmate," that one person that completed them. She had believed that people could be happy with any number of people as long as they had things in common.
But when Max Evans had touched her for the first time - he had done a lot more than just healing a physical wound. He had healed her soul - had opened her heart to the fact that there were people in the world meant for each other. As she had told him a thousand times, he had brought her to life.
She had continued to run away. When the summer had ended, she had stayed in London, had enrolled in a semester-long exchange program. Her mother had been ecstatic when Liz had told her her plans on the phone.
"I told you Liz. There is such a big world out there. What you and Max had was special, but you're both only teenagers. It would never have worked in the long run."
Liz had not responded. Her dad had not been as easy to fool though.
"Are you sure Lizzie?" He had asked in his quiet, concerned way.
"Yeah Dad." He didn't believe her, but he let it go. Mr. Parker had always been more sensitive to what was really going on with his daughter. Their relationship had improved again after the last camping trip, when he had finally figured out that although his daughter was growing up, she would always be his little girl. He had gotten to know Max and had always been more reasonable about the way Liz felt about him then Nancy had. In fact, he liked Max a lot - liked the way he made Liz glow.
When the semester had ended, Liz had returned to Roswell. She had not felt any more capable of facing Max - but it had been time.
But now - now that she had heard that Max had apparently lost his mind, that Maria and Alex and even Isabel had had to deal with it all on their own...Well, she was angry.
Liz had realized for the first time that it wasn't all just about she and Max.
Yes, what they had was special, but what she shared with the five others in their small group was special too.
She had let them down for the last time. She was going to get the real Max back, help Maria figure out what was going on with Michael, and help poor Alex and Izzy, who had basically been caught in the middle of the whole mess, find their way back to each other.
Liz had decided not to go back to school that day. She would start on Monday. So the first time she would see everyone else would be at the bus that night. She knew that it was not going to be fun, but she was determined. They had a whole weekend to work everything out.
They had all been close once - brought together by circumstance, had fought to stay close, but, in the end, when the going was roughest, they had all given up.
It was going to end this weekend on the same camping trip that had begun the string of events that had brought them to this point.
As Liz threw clothes into her duffel bag, she thought back to that last Father's Camping trip. She had paid Maria to accompany her, Alex had hauled his father along because he knew Isabel was going to be there, Max and Izzy had gone because of the sighting - the sighting that had turned out to be Nasedo's first signal to them. That had led them all to that pod chamber several months later, when all their hopes and dreams for themselves had been shattered.
Liz and Max had still technically been on the outs during that trip, but it had also been the first time Liz had really admitted to herself that she was not going to give up on Max Evans. The way he had looked at her when he had had to leave her and Maria to face those dogs had told her that he had felt the same way.
She wondered briefly what Max was going to say to her when she saw him later today. She had absolutely no idea. She just could not picture him being rude or mean, but from the way Maria and Alex talked, it might happen. It was not a pleasant thought.
An even more unpleasant thought was that he might ignore her altogether. She could not remember a time that she had been in Max's presence that he hadn't looked at her in some way, totally aware that she was in the same room. It had seemed that he had been totally incapable of ignoring her. The looks had sometimes been longing or sad, but always loving. They had often been teasing or lustful in happier times. The ones she liked the best though were the ones that told her that nothing that happened was ever going to change the way he felt about her.
Liz felt a lump rising in her throat. She stared at a photo of Max that still sat on her bedside table. Maria had snapped it for a photography project she had done the previous school year.
It was totally candid. He was seated on a bench in the quad, munching on a bag of Doritos, a bottle of Tabasco at his elbow. He had a book open in front of him and he was avidly reading.
Liz even remembered the book. It was The Alienist by Caleb Carr, one of her favorites. She had given it to him for his birthday. He had quirked an eyebrow at her questioningly when he had opened it. "The Alienist?" he had asked wryly. "Is this about what I think it is?"
Liz had grinned and replied, "Not alien silly, alienist. It's the old-fashioned word for psychiatrist."
Max had grinned teasingly. "Are you trying to tell me something?" Liz had rolled her eyes. Just as she knew would be the case, he had been unable to put it down after he started it. When he had finally finished - it was a long, dense book - she had asked him what he thought of it.
He had looked at her seriously for a moment and then replied, "That Sarah character reminded me of you." It had been the nicest thing he had ever said to her. Sarah was totally logical and Liz had identified very strongly with her. That Max saw it to, that he understood why she found the book so fascinating...It had moved her.
It had been just as everything about Max had always moved her. She was going to get the REAL Max back, the sensitive Max who almost cared too much about others, whose selflessness sometimes bordered on selfishness, so determined was he to protect the people he loved.
She had not yet encountered the anti-Max that had apparently been inhabiting Max's body for six months, but she knew that she could get rid of him. She just had to know what she was up against.
She would find out tonight.
Part 5
Mr. Parker and Liz picked up Maria on their way to the high school to meet the bus. Liz laughed when she noticed that her friend was wearing the same big, fuzzy boots she had worn on the trip last year.
"Tradition?" She inquired teasingly. Maria rolled her eyes.
"If you must know, they really annoy Michael. Thought I might as well have some fun if I have to be in his presence."
Mr. Parker eyed her in the rear-view mirror. "How is Michael anyway? Haven't seen much of him around the restaurant lately."
"Dad!" Liz exclaimed. It astounded her on occasion how totally clueless their parents were. It was perfectly obvious that Maria and Michael were not exactly on the best of terms - of course, they had not exactly been on the best of terms even when they HAD been dating.
"What?" Mr. Parker asked.
Liz sighed. "Never mind. Just please don't like ask Michael a ton of annoying questions when you see him."
Mr. Parker looked hurt. "Okay Honey." He said quietly.
Liz sighed again. Oh, great. Now I've hurt his feelings. The stress of anticipating her first glimpse of Max was beginning to take its toll on her.
They pulled into the school's parking lot. Maria had her face plastered against the window, scanning the crowd. "There's Alex. Looks like he and Mr. Whitman actually brought a tent this year."
Liz followed Maria's gaze. Actually, it looked as though Mr. Whitman had brought the entire stock of Mountain Equipment Co-op. Alex was standing in the middle of a pile of camping articles, looking mildly bemused. His dad was showing him how to light the Coleman camp light in his hand.
The girls and Mr. Parker joined them. Alex addressed them in relief. "Thank God you girls are here. My dad has gone all Grizzly Adams on me."
Mr. Whitman looked up, blinked and said. "Hey Jeff. Girls."
Alex, Liz and Maria left the two dads talking and went to stand near the bus, conferring quietly. "Any sign of the Czechs yet?" Liz asked nervously.
"Nope." Alex responded. "Isabel called me this afternoon." He looked suddenly happier. Liz and Maria exchanged looks.
"Alex, how many times do I have to tell you..." Maria began. Alex scowled, cutting her off.
"I know, I know. Just drop it okay? She just wanted to let me know that Max and Michael were officially coming. She said that Max actually seemed semi-excited about it."
Liz felt her mood lighten. Maybe this wouldn't be so hard after all.
"What about Tess?" Maria asked. Alex grimaced slightly, glancing at Liz.
"Unfortunately she's coming too. And there's even worse news. Max invited Pam and her father to come as well."
Liz felt momentarily ill, but then shrugged. "Well, it's to be expected. I knew that this wasn't going to be easy."
The three friends froze when they suddenly recognized the Evans's car pulling into the parking lot. They were all distracted though when Kyle Valenti suddenly appeared from the other side of the bus. He had a fishing rod in his hand.
"Hey Liz!" He came forward, a pleased expression on his face. "It's great to see you! My dad told me you were coming." Liz smiled at him, surprised that she was genuinely happy to see him. She hadn't actually laid eyes on Kyle since the day he was shot and Max had healed him.
"Hi Kyle." She walked forward, hugging him.
As she tried to pull back, she realized that his fishing rod had become entangled in her hair. Kyle tugged on it, but it only became more caught. She felt herself giggling, realized that she was quickly losing it - she never giggled. Kyle still had his arms around her as he attempted to unhook her hair.
Of course, at that exact moment, Max Evans walked right past them.
Liz felt her heart stop. She was surprised to see that he looked exactly the same. With all the talk about how different he was, she had expected him to somehow look different.
But no, he looked great. His dark hair still curled adorably at the back of his neck, he was still attractively muscular and walked with that shy, don't notice me gait that had always made Liz's breath quicken. He was wearing khakis and a dark sweater, and was swinging a back-pack up over his shoulder as he walked.
Her heart was racing, her skin tingling. Max! Max....oh, my love...
And right beside him was Pam Troy. Liz blanched.
Max didn't notice she and Kyle right away, but she knew it was only a matter of time. She tried desperately to untangle her hair, but every move she made just made it worse. Maria had sized up the situation quickly and was slapping Kyle's hands, trying to get them off Liz.
"Ow!" Kyle exclaimed, staring at Maria, annoyed. "What the hell Deluca?" Liz sighed. So much for escaping Max's notice.
He stopped abruptly and stared at her. His dark eyes were bright for one, heart-pounding moment, and then they narrowed.
It was only then that Liz noticed that Isabel, Michael and Tess were there too. Her entire being had been focused on Max - and Pam.
Isabel was biting her bottom lip, looking upset, but hopeful. She kept glancing between Liz and Max. Tess was watching Liz with interest, not maliciously, but not kindly either. Liz felt briefly like some peculiar lab specimen that Tess was about to do an experiment on.
Michael just looked weird. He stared right through all of them, seemingly oblivious to anything going on around him. Liz glanced briefly at Maria, who had retreated behind Alex and was trying to appear like she was fixing the strap on his backpack.
"Hey guys!" Alex said, much too cheerfully. It was clear that he was trying to break the awkward silence. Isabel smiled weakly at him, Kyle stared and Liz felt like she was going to faint.
She grabbed the fish hook in her hair and gave a quick yank. It broke free, taking what felt like half her scalp with it. She looked back at Max. His expression was unreadable, but his eyes...
They were scalding.
Pam Troy looked a little different. She wore her hair a little longer, but her attire, as usual, was entirely inappropriate for her surroundings. She was wearing a very low-cut blouse, tight jeans and so much make-up, Liz briefly wondered if she was auditioning to be Tammy Faye Baker in her next life.
"Well, if it isn't Liz Parker." Pam said, in her false sweet voice. It had nastiness barely veiled under the surface though. It grated on Liz's nerves as much now as it had during her sophomore year. "Back from her little European jaunt. Funny, didn't really notice she wasn't around." She said this to Max, who was still staring at Liz, unmoving. He glanced briefly at Kyle's hand on her arm, then back at her face
"Liz!" Isabel stepped forward and started chattering in an entirely un-Isabel-like manner, giving Pam a dirty look. Pam wilted a little under Isabel's icy stare. Even Tess was sneering at her. "It's so great to see you! How was England? Did you see any shows, do any shopping?"
Liz couldn't answer. She was still staring at Max, waiting for some sign from him.
There was no sign. He just looked at her like she was a total stranger - no, actually he looked at her like he was working on the same lab experiment Tess was involved in.
The eyes she had gazed into so many times were cold and hard. He was staring at her with a look of distaste on his face.
And then he did something that was deliberate and so cruel, Liz felt her heart shatter. He picked up Pam's hand and pulled her away. About ten feet away he stopped abruptly, dropped his backpack and started kissing her.
Maria gasped. "Let's get out of here." She put her arm around Liz's shoulders and started to lead Liz away. Isabel stared at her brother and his girlfriend, a disgusted look on her face. Michael was eyeing Liz with interest, not unkindly, just in a way that was totally unlike Michael. She again felt like she was under a microscope in some horrible lab experiment gone awry.
Kyle looked shocked. "Hey Evans, you're a real jerk, you know that!" He called after Max and Pam. Max broke the kiss briefly, grinned at Kyle. Liz could understand how her friends had thought that the new Max was Nasedo at first. His smile was just as heartless as Nasedo Max's had been when he had scraped his gaze up and down Liz during their brief adventure together the previous year. Max gazed coldly, challengingly, at Liz once more, picked up his backpack and led Pam away.
To be continued