Part 6
"What the hell is up with that guy?" Kyle asked, obviously perplexed. "I mean when I heard he was going out with Pam, I was floored." He shot Liz a sympathetic look, "But that - man - that was just cold." He looked at Michael, thinking he would be the one most likely to answer him, even if he was snotty about it. Michael just stared at him without interest and walked away after Max and Pam.
"God, Liz, I'm so sorry." Isabel said. Liz smiled weakly at Max's sister. It was becoming more obvious by the second that Isabel was not the same person she had been the last time Liz had seen her. She was quieter and sadder, but somehow kinder too. "It's not just you." Izzy continued, obviously trying to make her feel better. "Everything he does is like that - totally calculated to make whoever it's directed at feel like the lowest being on earth."
Liz straightened her back. "Well, if that's the worst Max Evans can dish out, this is going to be a piece of cake," she replied, trying to use a cheerful tone. The others all stared at her.
"What the hell are you talking about Liz?" Kyle asked. "That was the most brutal thing I have ever seen."
"Thank you Kyle," Alex inserted, "I think we are all aware of how brutal it was."
Isabel was gazing at Liz, her eyes questioning. Liz addressed her. "Isabel, can we sit together on the bus?" She saw Maria scowl out of the corner of her eye. "Please Maria. Alex needs a seat-mate too. I need to talk to Isabel about Max." She turned to include the whole group, even Tess, who had yet to speak. "That was NOT Max guys. I don't know what's wrong with him, but we are going to snap him out of it. I refuse to just ignore it." She held up her hands, when Tess seemed about to protest. "I know you guys have tried, but I'm the one who caused this. I'm going to need your help to fix it, but in the end, it has to be me." She glanced around the group quickly. "We have no secrets anymore you guys. Max is keeping something from us, I don't know how I know, but I just feel it."
Isabel had brightened considerably. "God, Liz, I know I've been a jerk you in the past, but this has been so hard. I'm so glad you're back. The way Max felt about you - I mean, I think maybe you can reach him." Tears welled up in her eyes. Maria frowned at Alex when he looked like he wanted to go put his arm around her. Alex scowled and looked away.
Tess snorted. "I don't know if anyone can reach him anymore." She inserted. "As Michael would say, all he seems to do is think with his energy source, Pam Troy being People's Exhibit A." Kyle snickered at that. Tess looked at him, smirked as well.
Isabel blinked. "That is definitely the first thing we need to take care of. It is like the most repulsive thing I have ever seen." She looked at Liz. "I mean you guys used to gross me out, but at least I knew you loved each other. I KNOW Pam is only going out with Max to piss me off - not to mention you."
"She's like the black widow spider." Alex supplied. "She mates and kills." They all laughed despite themselves.
Liz could hear Coach Clay calling out their last names, trying to get everyone loaded on the bus. She saw her dad chatting with Sheriff Valenti. The Sheriff wasn't really paying attention though. He was watching Max make-out with Pam right beside Mr. Evans's, his eyes narrowed, a thoughtful expression on his face.
Liz felt momentarily ill again. Just don't think about it, she ordered herself. You know that is not YOUR Max. The real Max is still in there somewhere and you're going to find him.
"Evans!" Coach Clay yelled. Isabel jumped, saw her dad looking around for her.
"That's me. I'll save you a seat Liz. C'mon Tess." With that, Izzy hurried away, taking a wide circle around Max, who was looking back in their direction, his expression unreadable. Pam was nibbling on his ear, but he was currently ignoring her. Liz felt his gaze come to rest on her, then quickly move away.
Liz looked momentarily at Michael, who was standing just to the left of Max and Pam. He was staring off into space, no expression on his face. Liz shivered. It was freaky - and very unlike Michael. The old Michael would have been scowling at everyone, trying to piss someone off - likely either Max or Maria. But no, he just stood there, occasionally tilting his head and examining Max with interest, but usually just looking like the stereotypical pod person.
Liz giggled to herself, feeling a little hysterical. Of course, technically, he IS a pod person. She saw Kyle and Alex give her weird looks, clamped her lips shut.
"Parker!"
"C'mon girls!" Mr. Parker called. Liz turned back to Alex and Kyle.
"See you guys on the bus." She grabbed Maria' s hand, pulled her toward the bus.
As they climbed aboard, she saw Max sitting by himself near the back of the bus. He was staring out the window and for a moment, Liz saw HER Max.
He looked sad - and lonely. Liz's heart sped up. Max...
"Hey Liz! Back here!" Isabel was standing in her seat, a few in front of Max. Tess and Michael were sitting together directly in front of Max. Michael was staring straight ahead, he expression blank. Tess was turned around in her seat, lecturing Max, who was ignoring her completely.
"If you make out with that trollop the entire way to the campsite, I will personally murder her. Do you hear me Max? I mean, you're like making everyone ill. Everyone knows you're supposed to be with me, even Liz. I don't know why you're fighting it. It's been six months for Pete's sake." Max turned to stare at her briefly. He glanced past her, directly at Liz. She shuddered when she saw his eyes darken, freeze over.
"Shut up Tess." He said clearly.
"I'm coming Max!" This came from Pam, who was behind Liz in the aisle. Maria, in front of Liz, moaned.
"Oh great! I can tell already this is going to be the bus ride from Hell! Alex is going to moan about Queen Amidala the whole way, I just know it, and just my luck, the only seat left is right behind where the Widow is going to be making out with Mr. Meanie. Could my life get any worse?"
Liz patted her friend's back reassuringly. "It'll be okay Maria. Just sniff your cedar oil. At least Michael seems to be behaving himself." She continued quietly.
Maria sighed. "Yeah. He didn't even comment on my boots." she said sadly. Liz's heart went out to her best friend. While she had never understood why Michael and Maria had liked to bicker so much, it had been an integral part of their relationship.
Sort of like me and Max with those staring contests...
Liz felt tears welling up in her eyes as she joined Isabel. Be strong Liz, she ordered herself.
"Are you okay Liz?" Isabel asked, concerned.
"Yeah, thanks. It's just hard to see him like this. I knew he'd be upset, but I never imagined he would go crazy." Liz replied. "I can't even imagine what you've been going through these past months Isabel."
"It hasn't been that bad for me really. He mainly just ignores me." Isabel said. "It's the way he treats my mom and dad that's the worst. It's like he hates them or something. And they're just so hurt - they go from having the perfect son to like Genghis Khan. Liz, he plays Metallica for God's sake."
Liz patted Isabel's shoulder. "I really am sorry Isabel." Isabel just sighed. Liz decided to change the subject for the moment.
"What happened with you and Alex? It is so obvious you guys are still crazy about each other." Isabel sighed again.
"It was just too much. I was so happy when I was with Alex, but I just couldn't do it to Max you know? He was so miserable after you left Liz, more like you would have expected him to be. Not this..." She gestured to Max behind them, who had gone back to kissing Pam. "Seeing me with Alex, it just seemed to make him wilt. So we decided to cool things for a while." Isabel turned in her seat and smiled briefly in Alex's direction. He didn't notice as he and Maria were laughing as he made evil facial expressions in Max and Pam's direction. Kyle was across the aisle from them, sitting with his friend Paulie. He was grinning as well, but Liz noticed that he was watching Tess out of the corner of his eye. Interesting, thought Liz.
Tess was currently snapping her fingers in front of Michael's face, saying "Will you snap out of it Michael? Tell Max to stop it. You're the only one he listens to these days."
Liz watched Max briefly. She shivered when she realized that his eyes were open and that he was staring at her, even though he was kissing Pam. Blech! Thought Liz. She looked away quickly.
"What is up with Michael?" Liz asked Isabel. "He is totally zoned out." Isabel eyed him momentarily.
"I'm not really sure. He came back from the Reservation and he was just like that. It's actually kind of creepy. He watches all of us, all the time, like he's waiting for something. He and Max hole up in his apartment all the time. I have no idea what they talk about, but he's the only one Max will be even remotely civil to."
"Well, what are we going to do about this?" Liz asked, feeling suddenly very close to Isabel. She had always wanted to bond with Max's sister, not just because she was his sister, but because she admired and liked her. Isabel had always been distant and disapproving in the past, making it virtually impossible. The only person she had ever opened up to, besides her brothers, had been Alex. It seemed that if one good thing was to come out of Max's crazy behavior, it would be that she and Isabel could finally, truly become friends.
"I think that we should arrange for you to be able to be alone with Max - you know, try and talk to him." Isabel replied. "Are you okay with that?" She asked worriedly. "I know it will be hard. How are you anyway? Did going to London help at all?"
"England was really cool. I loved it, but it certainly didn't take my mind off Max if that's what you're wondering." She stared out the window, trying to explain to Isabel what the past few months had been like for her. "I felt so guilty. I was a coward Isabel. I didn't even call anyone to see if you guys were okay. I was just so freaked out by that whole destiny thing. The weeks before we heard that message from you mother...." She turned back to look Isabel in the eye. "I kept telling Max that we made our own destiny, that we got to choose who we wanted to be with and then when it came down to the wire - when Max really HAD to make a choice -I ran away." Tears filled her eyes again, but she wiped them away angrily. Isabel pulled a tissue out of her purse, handed it to Liz. "Thank you. Anyway, I totally failed him. I was so scared that he wasn't going to choose me. When he told you guys that it was the four of you now, I just wanted to die. I had to leave."
"I think what you did was really brave Liz." Isabel told her. Liz could see that she really meant it. "I couldn't leave Alex. Not until there was absolutely no choice. I think you knew that Max WOULD choose you. You didn't want him to have to make that choice. That's real courage in my books."
Liz snorted briefly. "Well, it obviously was all for nothing anyway. I don't understand what's happened to him. I didn't even think that Max was capable of being the person I've seen him be today." She giggled despite herself. "I mean, Pam Troy! What the heck is up with that?'
Isabel laughed too. "It's like we've entered the Twilight Zone. I'm expecting that guy to do his voice-over any minute. Welcome to Roswell, where nothing is ever normal and where people go bonkers at the drop of a hat," she intoned. Liz laughed again, the first genuine laugh she had had in a long time.
"What's so funny girls?" This came from Mr. Evans who was seated across the aisle from them with Liz's dad. Liz rolled her eyes at Isabel.
"Dads are so oblivious." She murmured under her breath. Isabel giggled again.
"Nothing Daddy. We're just really looking forward to the marshmallows tonight. Liz was just telling me about the time she ate 25 in one sitting." Mr. Parker grinned beside Isabel's dad,
"I remember that. We had one very sick little girl on our hands." He added. "But I think Maria was worse. Didn't she have about 30 Lizzie?" Liz nodded, laughed again.
"Yeah but she was fine. That was when Mrs. Deluca was going through her weird sugar diet phase. All Maria ate then was sugar anyway."
"Well, that can't possibly be any weirder than when Izzy and Max used to put Tabasco sauce on THEIR marshmallows," Mr. Evans argued. "Max did it first, if I recall correctly. He was about eight. He wanted Diane and I to try it too. Di did. I'll never forget the expression on her face." He laughed affectionately, but then stopped abruptly, turned in his seat to stare at his son sadly, who happened to be looking in their direction, clearly curious about what they were talking about.
Liz watched as Mr. Evans met Max's eyes. She couldn't believe it when Max glared at his father, deliberately took Pam's chin in his hand and started kissing her again.
She felt Isabel flinch beside her. She patted Isabel's arm reassuringly. "Don't worry Isabel. We're going to fix this. Somehow..."
Part 7
When the road gets dark
And you can no longer see...
Let my love throw a spark
Have a little faith in me...
Joe Cocker
The group had set up their camp in the exact same spot as the previous year. It had all been accomplished very quickly because the stars had just started to emerge when they settled down by the fire for an evening of what the dads thought would be bonding and the kids KNEW would be torture.
Liz sat on a log near the fire, listening to Kyle tell the same stupid story about cows and holes in heads that he had told last year. Instead of being annoyed, as she expected, she found herself liking it. It reminded her of the previous year - how, although none of them had been on the best of terms, at least they KNEW and trusted each other.
It was so different from what was going on at the moment, she felt like crying.
Isabel sat on her right, roasting a marshmallow. Liz was still amazed at how she managed to look like a goddess even in the middle of the bush. She had her blonde hair in a French braid and she was wearing the most beautiful jacket Liz had ever seen. She looked sporty but glamorous at the same time. Liz could see Alex sneaking glances at her from his place beside Kyle. It's ridiculous that those two aren't together, Liz reflected. They so blatantly want to be. I have to get through to Max for at least that reason. Fine if he doesn't want to be with me, but Alex and Izzy deserve to be happy if they can be.
Liz's gaze strayed to Maria and Tess, who were playing a rowdy game of Hearts with Mr. Evans and Sheriff Valenti. Both men looked amused by Maria's constant chatter and even Tess seemed to be enjoying herself. As Liz watched she trumped the Queen of Spades on poor Mr. Evans, crowing with triumph.
Liz noticed that Michael was watching them blankly, seated near Mr. Evans. It's like there's nothing going on up there, she reflected, as she analyzed Michael's empty eyes. The old Michael's eyes had been alive at all times, snapping with annoyance or sarcasm or, when he thought no one was looking, loneliness. And only sometimes, and only when he had been with Maria, Liz used to see happiness in Michael Guerin's eyes. But now there was just nothing.
She gazed across the fire at Max, who was sitting under a tree, Pam at his side. He was ignoring Pam at the moment, his head thrown back gazing at the stars, but Liz knew that wouldn't last long. She hadn't though that Max Evans was capable of such public displays of affection.
Well, that's not true, she amended ruefully. He certainly had no qualms about kissing me in public. A slight smile touched her face. When Max used to kiss Liz, it had been like they were the only two in the world, no matter where they were. More often than not Max had been embarrassed when he had remembered where he was. It had been one of his most endearing qualities, the fact that he couldn't seem to keep his hands off of her, despite it being completely contrary to his personality.
But what was going on with Pam was totally different. It freaked Liz out the way he seemed to be so deliberate every time he touched her. It looked like he was trying to get a rise out of someone whenever he did it. More than once she had seen him staring at her, Liz, when Pam was nibbling on his ear, or kissing his neck. It made her ill.
And, unfortunately, she couldn't make her eyes behave. They kept straying back to the couple across the way, although it felt like she was being stabbed in the heart every time.
Remember Liz, she admonished, that is not YOUR Max. That is not the Max that made you see stars when his lips touched yours, that let you SEE him in a way that could never be replaced.
The thing that pissed Liz off the most about the whole thing was that she didn't know what she was going to do if the anti-Max was here for good because the old Max had ruined her for anyone else. No one was ever going to compare to him. They just couldn't.
She had finally admitted to herself that running away had been pointless, because no matter where she ran he followed. He was a part of her. She would never feel about anyone else the way she felt about him - even if he was currently being a Grade-A jerk.
"So, Liz, have you figured out a way to get Max alone?" Isabel whispered suddenly.
"Well I had hoped that Pam would go with her dad when he went to the lake with my dad and Mr. Whitman, but I'm not really surprised she didn't." Liz replied. "None of the other kids went and she can't seem to keep her hands off of Max so..." Isabel sighed.
"I was hoping that I wouldn't have to do this," she muttered.
Isabel jumped to her feet, a blatantly false smile on her face. "Hey Pam!" She chirped in a voice so unlike Isabel's Alex's head jerked up.
Pam's head snapped around. She blinked, surprised. Liz realized that this was probably the first time that Isabel Evans had ever addressed Pam in anything remotely resembling friendliness.
"Yeah, Isabel?" she asked, warily. Liz tried hard to hide her smile. Poor Pam, she thought, not really feeling bad at all. She has no idea what she's in for.
"Alex, Kyle, Tess, Maria and I were going to go do some stargazing." Isabel told her. "Do you want to come?"
Pam looked confused, glanced at Liz, who tried her best to look innocent. "I don't know," she stammered. "Is Liz going?"
Liz noticed that Max was eyeing Isabel suspiciously, his eyes narrowed. "Nope!" Isabel replied. "Liz is on KP duty." Max's sister indicated the piles of dirty dishes sitting next to the fire. "Max is going to help her do them. Right Dad?" Isabel looked appealingly at her father.
Mr. Evans glanced up from his cards. He looked at his son, who was glaring at Isabel in annoyance. Liz could see that Max knew exactly what was going on and he was not pleased. "That would be nice of you Max." Mr. Evans looked so hopeful, Liz's heart went out to him. It appeared that any sign that the old Max might be around was like music to his father's ears.
Max rolled his eyes. "Fine." He muttered. Liz realized that it was actually the first time she had heard him speak since they had gotten off the bus.
"You're coming too Michael." This came from Maria, who had grabbed him by his collar and hauled him to his feet. Michael didn't say anything, just followed unprotestingly. Weird, thought Liz. Michael definitely has to be our next project.
Pam still looked unconvinced. "I don't know. Maybe I should stay here." She gave Liz a dirty look.
"No, no! I insist." Isabel exclaimed. She quickly grabbed Liz's hand, squeezed and then went and grabbed Pam by the arm, hauling her off into the woods. "We haven't really had a chance to get to know each other. I mean you are dating my brother after all." Liz could hear Isabel saying as Kyle, Alex, Maria and Michael followed. Tess left as well, glanced back once uncertainly, but shrugged and continued on her way. Alex stopped at the edge of the forest, grinned at Liz, gave her the thumbs up sign behind Max's back. Liz felt hysterical laughter about to explode.
Sheriff Valenti suddenly spoke up. "Hey Phil, I think you and I should head down to the lake to see the other dads, give the kids a chance to hang out on their own." Liz shot him a grateful look. He grinned at her. It's nice to know that you have a grown-up on your side, Liz reflected briefly.
She looked nervously at Max who was beginning to collect the dishes, dumping them into the bucket of water that had been heating up on the fire.
She swallowed, slowly went to join him.
"Do you want to wash or dry?" Max demanded suddenly. Liz nearly jumped out of her skin it was so unexpected.
"Ummm...I don't care. What would you rather do?" She asked quietly. Max turned to stare at her.
"I'd rather not be doing this at all as a matter of fact." He grabbed a towel, handed her the sponge. He raised an eyebrow her, motioned towards the pot of water. "Well?"
Liz flinched. His tone was so cold. She was finding it hard to believe that this was Max Evans talking to her. She quickly picked up a glass, scrubbed it, passed it to him to dry.
Okay Liz, get it together she told herself. Everyone is depending on you. This is Max. You can talk to him.
"So, how is everything?" She asked, realized that it sounded stupid, shook her head in annoyance. Liz glanced at him from the corner of her eye. He was scowling.
"Sorry Liz." He replied. "You don't have a right to know that anymore."
Liz blinked. "Oh. Okay." She stopped talking, tried to collect her thoughts. Max was staring off into the woods, an unreadable expression on his face as he waited for the next dish. When he began to tap his foot impatiently, Liz snapped.
"Max!" He turned back to look at her, surprise evident on his face. She saw that she had broken through at least a tiny piece of the wall he had built around himself. Okay, take advantage Liz, she told herself. "What is going on with you? Everyone is so worried about you."
"Nothing's going on Liz. I'm getting on with my life. I'm sorry that you and the others don't like it, but, well, that's really your problem." He snapped. The icy stare was back.
"Of course it's our problem Max! We all love you!"
Max snorted. "Funny way you had of showing you loved me Liz."
Liz felt the guilt come rushing back. "Max, I know now that I was wrong to run away from you. I was a coward. I admit it. But please! Be mad at me if you need to, but why do you have to be so mean to everyone else?" Max just stared at her. "I don't understand why you're destroying everything in your life. I'm not worth it! Flunking out of school, hurting your parents and Isabel dating Pam Troy for God's sake! Don't even make me go into how she's using you..." Liz felt herself beginning to lose control. "Max everyone loves you so much. Why are you hurting them like this? I've only been back for three days and already I can see how this is tearing everyone up." She felt tears beginning to well up in her eyes. She looked at Max - was any of this getting through?
He was still glaring at her, clearly listening, but just as clearly thinking she was insane.
In fact, he sort of looked bored.
Liz felt her anger rising. "What the Hell is the matter with you?" She demanded. "Have you gone crazy? What happened to the Max everyone loves? He was so kind and loving and sweet..." she trailed off when she realized that he was snickering.
"Jeez Liz - I'm not dead. I'm sorry I didn't turn out to be the guy you thought I was." It was clear that he wasn't sorry at all. "But really, there's no need for the soap opera." He reached out and patted her on the shoulder. She flinched at the condescending action. "I'm doing just fine. I happen to like Pam. She's fun, not serious. There's not the constant boring dissection of every little thing with her." He eyed her, amused.
Is there no way to break him down? Liz wondered. She could only think of one thing to say - one thing that might work. He was turning away, getting ready to throw the dish water into the bush..."But Max! I love you."
He froze. Liz could see it. His face was turned away from her, but he had heard her.
Max turned around, looked her right in the eye and said the words Liz had been sure she would never hear coming from his lips. "But Liz, I don't love you."
With that, he threw his dish-towel down on a log, smirked at her and walked off into the bush in the direction the others had disappeared.
Part 8
"I think I should go back." Pam whined as Isabel hauled her through the bush. They had been walking for about twenty minutes now and Isabel realized that she had probably gotten them all good and lost at this point.
That's what I'm trying to do though, Isabel reflected. The longer we're gone, the more time Liz will have to try and get Max to open up.
"Oh don't be such a wuss Troy." This came from Kyle, who was helping Tess over a log. "Everyone knows the best stargazing is on the far side of the lake." Isabel shot him a grateful look. Who knew Kyle Valenti would turn out to be so helpful?
"I just don't understand why Max got stuck back there with that wench Liz." Isabel halted abruptly, turned and stared at Pam. Was she that clueless? Everyone else was staring at Pam as well.
"Uh, news flash Pam." Alex said evenly. "We're all Liz's friends." Pam snorted, tossed her head.
"Which makes you all as loserish as she is." Maria stepped forward, a murderous expression on her face. Alex and Tess quickly grabbed her by the arms, Alex wrapping his arm around her waist and clamping a hand over her mouth.
Isabel shot Maria a warning look. They had to give Liz more time.
"Well, we can't all get along." She said to Pam through gritted teeth. "Why don't we just drop the subject." Unfortunately it wasn't going to be as easy as that. Pam was evidently on a roll.
"Liz is just so pathetic. I mean, everyone knows that she ran off to England because she couldn't deal with the fact that Max dumped her. No one could believe he wanted to go out with that little nerd to begin with. He might have been quiet when they went out, but he was studly man. He could have had any girl in the school. Does Liz put out or something?" Pam asked with false concern. Maria's eyes were practically bugging out of her head above Alex's hand.
Tess was eyeing Pam with annoyance. "Do you even know Liz?" She demanded suddenly. Pam blinked.
"Huh?" Pam's mouth was twitching.
Tess continued. "You obviously don't know Liz Parker at all, do you?" Maria and Alex were both staring at Tess with suspicion, wondering where she was going with this. "I don't know her very well either, but from what I've seen she's loyal and friendly and sweet." Alex and Kyle exchanged glances of wonder.
"I really like Liz too." Isabel inserted, picking up from Tess. "I think she was the best thing that ever happened to my brother." Isabel suddenly realized that this was true. She had never seen Max as happy, as complete, as he had been when he was with Liz. The entire disaster that was Max had begun after Liz had walked away from him. Everything had gone wrong from that moment on.
Sort of how nothing is right when Alex and I aren't together. She glanced at her ex-boyfriend from under her lashes, wishing that she could be the one holding his hand right now, not Maria.
Thinking of Maria made Isabel think of Michael. "Hey!" She suddenly cut off Pam, who was muttering under her breath about them all being idiots. "Where's Michael?"
Maria's head snapped up and she wrenched Alex's hand away from her mouth. "He was here a minute ago." She began to twist around frantically. "Michael! Where are you?"
"Oh he wondered off into the bush a few minutes ago." Pam told them dismissively. "Who cares anyway? He's weird." Alex quickly grabbed Maria again before she could make a move. Maria was just ignoring Pam anyway.
"We have to find him! I don't think he even knows what he's doing half the time." She looked at Isabel pleadingly. "Izzy can you like find him somehow? That destiny crap has got to be good for something." Isabel looked sharply at Pam, stared back at Maria meaningfully. Pam knew nothing about their secret, unless Max HAD truly lost his mind. She had no intention of having her find out by accident.
Maria snapped her mouth shut, looked embarrassed.
Pam was glaring from one to the other annoyed. "You guys are so psycho." She said snootily. " I can't even understand what you're talking about half the time. I am so glad Max has decided to ditch you all,'cause let me tell you, there is no way I'm hanging out with you freaks on a regular basis."
She turned suddenly to Kyle. "Even you Valenti - you're hanging out with losers all the time. Your position at school has been totally compromised. Dating Parker last year was bad enough, but this..." Pam pointed at Alex with disdain. "The geek of the junior class? And Miss Snotty Isabel Evans, not to mention that dingbat Maria, who's mom is the town tramp. And then there's little Tess Harding, who everyone knows is a slut. I mean everyone heard the rumors from her old school when she moved here."
Alex grinned at Pam, put a comforting arm around Tess. Tess looked at him in surprise, clearly not that upset about what Pam was saying since she knew that Pam had started all the rumors about her. "Ah Pam, you're a real laugh-riot, you know? Could you be any less original? Everyone knows I'm a geek. I mean, if you're going to hate us, at least let it be because WE loathe YOU." The rest of the group had been staring at Pam, but all turned to stare at Alex instead. Kyle started to laugh.
"And know Pam," continued Maria. "We really, REALLY loathe you." Isabel giggled.
So much for trying to be friends with Pam she thought. Isabel found that she was not at all surprised that it was going to be impossible. I would have felt like I was betraying Liz anyway, she thought. She and my brother might have made me ill on occasion, but at least I like Liz. Tess is right. She is loyal and kind. Isabel realized that she trusted few people as she trusted Liz. She even trusted Liz to save her brother from himself, since Isabel had been so incapable of doing so.
"Enough of this tomfoolery," said Alex. "We have to split up and find Michael." Isabel was glad that someone else was taking control. "Kyle can you take Izzy and Pam with you?" Kyle nodded. "I'll go with Maria and Tess." Isabel felt it like a stab to the heart that Alex didn't want to search with her. Oh focus Isabel, she reprimanded sharply. This is so not the time.
"I'm not going anywhere," pouted Pam. She sat down on a log, crossed her arms and glared at them all. "I hope he drowns."
"Oh for crying out loud." Kyle rolled his eyes. "Great! You can just stay here then. Maybe the bears will eat you." Pam stood up immediately.
Isabel was ignoring the arguing going on around her. She was trying to connect with Michael.
Since the last year, she had become much more adept at entering other people's minds. She had been practicing and now she didn't need to have a picture anymore and could usually penetrate others' thoughts when they were awake. The only people she had no success with were Max and Michael unfortunately. They seemed to know exactly what to do to block her access.
Of course, before they had never bothered to block her. They had trusted her completely. Now that Max was no longer MAX and Michael was always out of it, they had shut her out. And she had definitely tried to get to them, if even to get a little hint about what was going on in their stubborn heads since the whole destiny fiasco.
Isabel shuddered when she remembered the one time she had actually gotten anywhere with Max. He had been asleep, but he had known the instant she had entered his dream. It still hurt to reflect on how the dream Max had forcibly thrown her out.
Isabel opened her eyes. She could see that Maria was watching her hopefully. She just shook her head regretfully. Maria's eyes shadowed. Pam was still complaining.
"Why can't someone just take me back?" She whined. Alex was scrubbing his eyes in frustration.
"Oh, don't we wish we could - back to Hell, where you belong,"he muttered.
"Someone's coming!" Maria said suddenly. They all stopped talking instantly, even Pam.
"What if it's a bear?" She whispered. Alex just rolled his eyes and Kyle snickered.
Michael appeared suddenly from behind a tree. They all just stared at him. They all stared more when they realized who was with him.
It was Max.
And he did not look happy.
Of course, when does he ever look happy? Isabel thought. She felt herself about to giggle hysterically.
"Did you finish the dishes?" She smiled inanely at her brother.
Max did not respond, he just shot her an annoyed look. "Are you guys done pumping Pam for information?" He demanded. Isabel flinched.
"Where's Liz?" This came from Maria, who was glaring at Max. If anyone hated Max now, it was Maria.
Max glanced at her and then away dismissively. "She's probably off somewhere bawling," he replied coldly. He turned to Pam. "Nice of you to try and get along with them for my sake, but it's not necessary. Let's just go." Pam stuck her nose in the air, went to stand beside him. She shot Maria a superior look as she passed.
"Make sure to say hi to Liz when you go back to the campsite," she said. Then she reached up, grabbed Max's head and kissed him.
Isabel turned away. It was revolting. She hated her brother at that moment - hated him for doing this to himself.
Max broke the kiss, took Pam's hand and led her off into the bush. Michael followed, still not having said a word.
Maria, Tess, Alex, Kyle and Isabel all stood there in silence.
"Well, that was anticlimactic." Kyle finally said. Maria snapped to attention.
"We have to get back to Lizzie." She looked worried. "Even if Max was just being a jerk, which is more than likely, I'm betting their talk didn't go very well."
"That's an understatement." Alex muttered.
So much for stargazing, thought Isabel as they all trooped back through the woods. She shot a sad look at Alex.
Part 9
When the road gets dark
And you can no longer see
Let my light throw a spark
Have a little faith in me.
And when the tears you cried
Are all you can believe
Give these loving arms a try,
And have a little faith in me...
Joe Cocker
Liz tossed and turned in her sleeping bag. Maria was curled up on one side of her in the tent, muttering in her sleep. Liz's dad was snoring softly on the other side.
She sighed, sat up, punched her pillow and flopped back down.
This is hopeless, she realized. Her mind was going a mile a minute, going over and over what she had said to Max, what HE had said to her. What could I have said that would have gotten through to him? she wondered for the thousandth time.
After Max had walked away from her, after their highly unsuccessful conversation, Liz had gone into her tent and had let the tears come. She had cried, feeling so sad and so guilty, she didn't know if she would be able to stop.
She didn't know how much time had passed, but suddenly Maria, Isabel and even Tess were there. Maria had pulled her head into her lap, stroking her hair, had let her cry. When she had spoken, her tone had been so bitter it had snapped Liz out of her self-pity. "I promised myself that I would never let him make you cry like this again Lizzie."
Liz knew that Maria was thinking of the time Liz had seen him kissing Tess. She glanced at Tess, who suddenly looked uncomfortable. Liz could see that the other girl really wanted to help though. "It wasn't Max who did this Maria." Liz replied, sending Tess a reassuring smile. This was not the time for pettiness and old hurts. Liz knew that both she and Tess loved Max, which was what was important. "That is not Max," she continued.
Liz looked at Isabel. Max's sister had tears glistening in her beautiful dark eyes. "What are we going to do Liz?" She asked. "You were my last hope. I was so sure that he would listen to you." Tess put a comforting arm around Isabel's shoulder. "He loved you so much."
"Don't worry Isabel." Liz smiled at the blonde. "I haven't given up." She suddenly stood up, made her way to the tent door. "Now let's go show him that he didn't hurt me. He cannot know. It will only make things worse. He can't know that he still has that power over me."
"Wait Liz!" Isabel crawled over to Liz, grabbed her hand, pulled her back down. Liz blinked as Isabel gently ran her hands across her face. "To wipe away the signs that you've been crying," she explained.
Liz smiled again. "Thank you."
Isabel shook her head ruefully. "Unfortunately I've had a lot of practice doing that recently." Liz couldn't help herself. She started to laugh. Isabel stared at her for a moment, then laughed too. "This is just brutal isn't it?"
"It is the brutalist." Liz agreed, "Even though I'm sure that's not a word." She and Isabel erupted into gales of laughter. Tess and Maria exchanged looks, turned back to look at them like they were crazy.
"I think they're hysterical." Tess muttered under her breath to Maria. Maria just stared at them with wide eyes.
"We're not hysterical." Liz continued to laugh. "We're just laughing through the pain." She was still giggling as she crawled out of the tent. She turned back, took all the other girls in with a glance. "Now we are going to have fun tonight despite Mr. Meanie." Liz grinned at Maria as she used her best friend's new name for Max. "At least we have each other. I'll try again tomorrow when he's unprepared."
Isabel nodded. "I'm sure he thinks you'll give up now."
Liz pressed her lips together in determination. "I will never give up. He'll have to kill me if he wants me to give up."
They had left the tent.
The four of them, plus Alex and Kyle, played the roles of their lives that night. They had laughed, they had told stories, they had roasted marshmallows like their lives depended on it. Liz had even genuinely enjoyed herself at certain points, like when Alex had accidentally gotten marshmallow stuck in Isabel's hair. It had been fun to watch the two of them pretend to be just friends, but covertly try and touch each other when no one else was looking. At one point, Isabel had poked Alex in the side. He had swung around in surprise, getting the marshmallow he was roasting hopelessly caught in Isabel's blonde locks. The look of absolute horror on her face had been priceless. Maria and Liz had burst out laughing, Kyle had snorted and Tess had giggled. Alex had looked like he thought Isabel was going to murder him. And she had certainly looked like she was going to - until she started to laugh as well.
They had all laughed themselves silly, releasing all the pent-up misery and despair, but had all abruptly stopped when Max, seated near the Evans' tent with Pam and Michael had suddenly yelled, "Will you guys please shut the hell up?"
Maria had hiccuped once, but after that, no one really felt like laughing anymore. They had all soon retired to bed.
Now as she lay awake at three in the morning, Liz's resolve increased. Images of HER Max flowed through her mind, giving her strength:
Max gazing at her with love as she worked her shift at the Crashdown...
Max teasingly playing with her hair in biology...
Max staring at her with hot eyes on the night of the party at the soap factory - the night before they had shared their first kiss....
Max grabbing her, lifting her onto the table in the back room of the Crashdown, kissing her with abandon, like he couldn't stop, even if his life depended on it...
Max pleading with her to have faith in him - in them - after she had seen him kiss Tess...
Max staring at her through the glass in the House of Mirrors before he had been taken by the Special Unit, his only concern for her, his only wish to get to her...
Max telling her that he wanted to be with her, that his destiny was with her, that he LOVED her...
Max, with tears in his beautiful eyes, watching her walk away from him, down that cliff and out of his life....
Liz felt tears fill her eyes again. She couldn't breathe! She needed air.
She grabbed her pillow and sleeping bag, crawled to the entrance of the tent and stumbled out.
Liz stood, took deep, cleansing breaths. Her thoughts were screaming though. MAX! Where are you???
She blinked when she suddenly saw movement near the Evans's tent. Liz looked around frantically. He couldn't see her like this! It would ruin everything!
Liz dropped her sleeping bag and pillow and threw herself down on top of them. She slammed her eyes shut.
Relax Liz, she thought. Look natural. She concentrated on gentling the expression on her face, on breathing deeply and evenly.
She knew it was Max, just as she had always known when he was near. She could hear him moving around quietly, clearly not wanting to wake anyone up. She heard him fiddle with something near the fire and then silence. Liz carefully opened her eyes, keeping them slitted, to see what he was doing.
Max had a stick in his hand and he was poking around in the fire. His face was in her direct line of vision, the flames creating dancing shadows across his familiar and beloved features. His expression was somber but it was not the anti-Max - she knew it. Liz felt her heart practically stop in her chest. He looked so much like the Max she knew and loved - his face was relaxed and open, not hard and cold like it had been every time she had seen him since she had been back.
He sighed heavily. She made herself close her eyes again when she realized that he was looking in her direction. Calm down, calm down, she kept repeating to herself. He thinks you're asleep. If he knows you're awake he'll shut down again.
Liz could hear him quietly walking in her direction. Her body began to tingle. She could hear him breathing.
He seemed to stop just a few feet away from her. She KNEW he was watching her. She couldn't help it - she shivered, not from the cold but from his proximity.
Her ears were straining to hear the smallest sound. Max said nothing, just continued to watch her. It took all her willpower not to open her eyes, not to look and see if was really HIM, her Max.
And then she knew it was. Suddenly she felt a warm breeze brush her cheek, seem to settle over her like a blanket. She could almost envision Max gently waving his hand over her, keeping her warm.
An image of him reaching his hand behind her in the Jeep that night they had chased Michael and Maria to Marathon appeared unbidden. "Just wanted to keep you warm," he had told her gently as he had fixed a hole in the roof of the car.
She thought she heard him speak suddenly. "Liz..." but it might have been the wind - or wishful thinking.
Her heart screamed as she heard him move away from her. Max! Liz slit open her eyes again, watched him return to the fire.
Max's head was lowered pensively when a noise from the woods caused him to snap it up. Liz's heart was in her throat as he turned and entered the forest, apparently looking for something.
Liz only waited until his back disappeared. She jumped to her feet, quickly pulled on her shoes, grabbed her flashlight and followed him.
Part 10
When Liz stumbled over a root, she froze, straining her ears to see if Max had heard her. He was about thirty feet ahead of her, moving at a fast pace. He stopped once as though he was listening, turned to the right abruptly and plunged through the foliage.
Although the stars were beginning to fade and the sky was beginning to brighten, it was still quite dark in the woods. Liz had turned off her flashlight so as to not draw Max's attention, but she realized that she was likely going to kill herself in the process. She moaned as she bumped into a tree, smacking her head quite hard.
When she looked up, Max had disappeared. Liz looked around frantically, her ears peeled trying to hear any noise. "Max, where the hell are you?" She muttered. And then, suddenly, she heard a voice.
"It's okay." It was Max. "I'm not going to hurt you." The gentle tone made Liz's heart skip a beat. She cautiously made her way in the direction of his voice, stopped abruptly behind a tree when she realized that she was about to stumble out into a clearing and directly into Max's line of vision. She looked in the direction of the camp, realized that they really weren't that far into the bush at all. She could still see the dancing flames of the campfire reflecting off the trees.
Liz paused and then carefully peeked around the tree, praying under her breath that Max was not looking up.
He wasn't. He was crouched on the ground over a large, shadowed shape. Max's hand was hovering over the shape, apparently trying to soothe it.
Liz realized that it was a deer - and that it was hurt. She could see that it's delicate leg was bent back at an awkward angle. The animal's eyes were bright with terror in the hazy dawn.
"Shhhh!" Max gently stroked the deer leg, clearly trying to get a handle on what was wrong with it. As Liz watched his hand began to glow. Max's face whitened as he took the deer's pain into his own body - healing it.
Liz felt tears beginning to fill her eyes. She flashed back to when Max had healed her - when their amazing connection to each other had begun.
She could still see Max hovering over her like it was yesterday: "You're okay now...you're going to be okay..." She still recalled the feeling of wonder that had claimed her That she had been about to die - and that Max Evans had pulled her back.
Suddenly the deer was on it's feet and bounding off into the bush. Max watched it go, his expression unreadable.
"Max," she breathed, getting ready to step out from behind the tree, to let him know that she had seen everything, that she KNEW he was pretending to be something he wasn't. He was still her Max. He had just shown it.
Max was still staring after the deer. As she watched him, he reached up, scrubbed his hand across his eyes wearily.
"What the Hell are you doing?" Another voice demanded, anger evident in the tone. Max's head snapped up. Liz recognized the voice immediately.
It was Michael and he had appeared in the clearing from a different direction. Now he was glaring at Max.
"What do you want Michael?" Max asked tiredly.
"I want to know what the hell you're doing?" Michael snapped back. "Where the hell is Liz?" Max stared at him.
"What are you talking about?" He demanded. He had begun to look around the clearing suspiciously. Liz felt her heart stop in her chest.
"She's not in the camp." Michael replied tonelessly. "When I saw that you were both gone I decided to make sure you weren't ruining everything." Max sighed.
"Liz isn't with me as you can clearly see." He looked sad for a moment. "I've taken care of that. You don't have to worry about it."
"That still doesn't explain where she is." Michael replied. He too was peering into the bush. Liz started to back carefully away. The tone of Michael's voice - it was terrifying. She literally didn't know what he would do to her if he found her spying on them. He sounded furious. What the heck is going on with you guys? She wondered to herself.
"If she saw you out here playing Dr. Dolittle, they're'll be hell to pay Maxwell." Michael continued.
"She's not here okay? She probably went to the bathroom. I'm not her keeper for God's sake." Max told him, his tone becoming annoyed. "I promised I wouldn't have anything to do with her - with any of them. I've kept my word until now haven't I?"
"Whatever. You just see that you keep it up. You know what's going to happen if you don't. You know what you promised to do and you know now what I can do." Michael threatened. "I don't want to have to hurt you Max, but I will." Liz saw Max swallow, look away from Michael's angry face. "Don't push me."
With that Michael stormed off into the woods. Liz let her breath out with woosh. She hadn't even realized that she had been holding it.
"Liz?" Max was staring right in her direction. She knew he was. Just as she could feel when he was near, he could feel her. It had always been that way, at least since he had healed her. "You can come out now. I know you're there." Liz couldn't tell if he sounded worried or annoyed. But there was no use trying to pretend she hadn't heard him.
Liz took a deep breath, stepped out of the shadows and into the increasingly bright clearing. Max was staring at her. His expression was shuttered. She could not figure out for the life of her what he was thinking.
"Max..." she began.
"What the hell are doing here?" He asked coldly.
To be continued...
"What the hell is up with that guy?" Kyle asked, obviously perplexed. "I mean when I heard he was going out with Pam, I was floored." He shot Liz a sympathetic look, "But that - man - that was just cold." He looked at Michael, thinking he would be the one most likely to answer him, even if he was snotty about it. Michael just stared at him without interest and walked away after Max and Pam.
"God, Liz, I'm so sorry." Isabel said. Liz smiled weakly at Max's sister. It was becoming more obvious by the second that Isabel was not the same person she had been the last time Liz had seen her. She was quieter and sadder, but somehow kinder too. "It's not just you." Izzy continued, obviously trying to make her feel better. "Everything he does is like that - totally calculated to make whoever it's directed at feel like the lowest being on earth."
Liz straightened her back. "Well, if that's the worst Max Evans can dish out, this is going to be a piece of cake," she replied, trying to use a cheerful tone. The others all stared at her.
"What the hell are you talking about Liz?" Kyle asked. "That was the most brutal thing I have ever seen."
"Thank you Kyle," Alex inserted, "I think we are all aware of how brutal it was."
Isabel was gazing at Liz, her eyes questioning. Liz addressed her. "Isabel, can we sit together on the bus?" She saw Maria scowl out of the corner of her eye. "Please Maria. Alex needs a seat-mate too. I need to talk to Isabel about Max." She turned to include the whole group, even Tess, who had yet to speak. "That was NOT Max guys. I don't know what's wrong with him, but we are going to snap him out of it. I refuse to just ignore it." She held up her hands, when Tess seemed about to protest. "I know you guys have tried, but I'm the one who caused this. I'm going to need your help to fix it, but in the end, it has to be me." She glanced around the group quickly. "We have no secrets anymore you guys. Max is keeping something from us, I don't know how I know, but I just feel it."
Isabel had brightened considerably. "God, Liz, I know I've been a jerk you in the past, but this has been so hard. I'm so glad you're back. The way Max felt about you - I mean, I think maybe you can reach him." Tears welled up in her eyes. Maria frowned at Alex when he looked like he wanted to go put his arm around her. Alex scowled and looked away.
Tess snorted. "I don't know if anyone can reach him anymore." She inserted. "As Michael would say, all he seems to do is think with his energy source, Pam Troy being People's Exhibit A." Kyle snickered at that. Tess looked at him, smirked as well.
Isabel blinked. "That is definitely the first thing we need to take care of. It is like the most repulsive thing I have ever seen." She looked at Liz. "I mean you guys used to gross me out, but at least I knew you loved each other. I KNOW Pam is only going out with Max to piss me off - not to mention you."
"She's like the black widow spider." Alex supplied. "She mates and kills." They all laughed despite themselves.
Liz could hear Coach Clay calling out their last names, trying to get everyone loaded on the bus. She saw her dad chatting with Sheriff Valenti. The Sheriff wasn't really paying attention though. He was watching Max make-out with Pam right beside Mr. Evans's, his eyes narrowed, a thoughtful expression on his face.
Liz felt momentarily ill again. Just don't think about it, she ordered herself. You know that is not YOUR Max. The real Max is still in there somewhere and you're going to find him.
"Evans!" Coach Clay yelled. Isabel jumped, saw her dad looking around for her.
"That's me. I'll save you a seat Liz. C'mon Tess." With that, Izzy hurried away, taking a wide circle around Max, who was looking back in their direction, his expression unreadable. Pam was nibbling on his ear, but he was currently ignoring her. Liz felt his gaze come to rest on her, then quickly move away.
Liz looked momentarily at Michael, who was standing just to the left of Max and Pam. He was staring off into space, no expression on his face. Liz shivered. It was freaky - and very unlike Michael. The old Michael would have been scowling at everyone, trying to piss someone off - likely either Max or Maria. But no, he just stood there, occasionally tilting his head and examining Max with interest, but usually just looking like the stereotypical pod person.
Liz giggled to herself, feeling a little hysterical. Of course, technically, he IS a pod person. She saw Kyle and Alex give her weird looks, clamped her lips shut.
"Parker!"
"C'mon girls!" Mr. Parker called. Liz turned back to Alex and Kyle.
"See you guys on the bus." She grabbed Maria' s hand, pulled her toward the bus.
As they climbed aboard, she saw Max sitting by himself near the back of the bus. He was staring out the window and for a moment, Liz saw HER Max.
He looked sad - and lonely. Liz's heart sped up. Max...
"Hey Liz! Back here!" Isabel was standing in her seat, a few in front of Max. Tess and Michael were sitting together directly in front of Max. Michael was staring straight ahead, he expression blank. Tess was turned around in her seat, lecturing Max, who was ignoring her completely.
"If you make out with that trollop the entire way to the campsite, I will personally murder her. Do you hear me Max? I mean, you're like making everyone ill. Everyone knows you're supposed to be with me, even Liz. I don't know why you're fighting it. It's been six months for Pete's sake." Max turned to stare at her briefly. He glanced past her, directly at Liz. She shuddered when she saw his eyes darken, freeze over.
"Shut up Tess." He said clearly.
"I'm coming Max!" This came from Pam, who was behind Liz in the aisle. Maria, in front of Liz, moaned.
"Oh great! I can tell already this is going to be the bus ride from Hell! Alex is going to moan about Queen Amidala the whole way, I just know it, and just my luck, the only seat left is right behind where the Widow is going to be making out with Mr. Meanie. Could my life get any worse?"
Liz patted her friend's back reassuringly. "It'll be okay Maria. Just sniff your cedar oil. At least Michael seems to be behaving himself." She continued quietly.
Maria sighed. "Yeah. He didn't even comment on my boots." she said sadly. Liz's heart went out to her best friend. While she had never understood why Michael and Maria had liked to bicker so much, it had been an integral part of their relationship.
Sort of like me and Max with those staring contests...
Liz felt tears welling up in her eyes as she joined Isabel. Be strong Liz, she ordered herself.
"Are you okay Liz?" Isabel asked, concerned.
"Yeah, thanks. It's just hard to see him like this. I knew he'd be upset, but I never imagined he would go crazy." Liz replied. "I can't even imagine what you've been going through these past months Isabel."
"It hasn't been that bad for me really. He mainly just ignores me." Isabel said. "It's the way he treats my mom and dad that's the worst. It's like he hates them or something. And they're just so hurt - they go from having the perfect son to like Genghis Khan. Liz, he plays Metallica for God's sake."
Liz patted Isabel's shoulder. "I really am sorry Isabel." Isabel just sighed. Liz decided to change the subject for the moment.
"What happened with you and Alex? It is so obvious you guys are still crazy about each other." Isabel sighed again.
"It was just too much. I was so happy when I was with Alex, but I just couldn't do it to Max you know? He was so miserable after you left Liz, more like you would have expected him to be. Not this..." She gestured to Max behind them, who had gone back to kissing Pam. "Seeing me with Alex, it just seemed to make him wilt. So we decided to cool things for a while." Isabel turned in her seat and smiled briefly in Alex's direction. He didn't notice as he and Maria were laughing as he made evil facial expressions in Max and Pam's direction. Kyle was across the aisle from them, sitting with his friend Paulie. He was grinning as well, but Liz noticed that he was watching Tess out of the corner of his eye. Interesting, thought Liz.
Tess was currently snapping her fingers in front of Michael's face, saying "Will you snap out of it Michael? Tell Max to stop it. You're the only one he listens to these days."
Liz watched Max briefly. She shivered when she realized that his eyes were open and that he was staring at her, even though he was kissing Pam. Blech! Thought Liz. She looked away quickly.
"What is up with Michael?" Liz asked Isabel. "He is totally zoned out." Isabel eyed him momentarily.
"I'm not really sure. He came back from the Reservation and he was just like that. It's actually kind of creepy. He watches all of us, all the time, like he's waiting for something. He and Max hole up in his apartment all the time. I have no idea what they talk about, but he's the only one Max will be even remotely civil to."
"Well, what are we going to do about this?" Liz asked, feeling suddenly very close to Isabel. She had always wanted to bond with Max's sister, not just because she was his sister, but because she admired and liked her. Isabel had always been distant and disapproving in the past, making it virtually impossible. The only person she had ever opened up to, besides her brothers, had been Alex. It seemed that if one good thing was to come out of Max's crazy behavior, it would be that she and Isabel could finally, truly become friends.
"I think that we should arrange for you to be able to be alone with Max - you know, try and talk to him." Isabel replied. "Are you okay with that?" She asked worriedly. "I know it will be hard. How are you anyway? Did going to London help at all?"
"England was really cool. I loved it, but it certainly didn't take my mind off Max if that's what you're wondering." She stared out the window, trying to explain to Isabel what the past few months had been like for her. "I felt so guilty. I was a coward Isabel. I didn't even call anyone to see if you guys were okay. I was just so freaked out by that whole destiny thing. The weeks before we heard that message from you mother...." She turned back to look Isabel in the eye. "I kept telling Max that we made our own destiny, that we got to choose who we wanted to be with and then when it came down to the wire - when Max really HAD to make a choice -I ran away." Tears filled her eyes again, but she wiped them away angrily. Isabel pulled a tissue out of her purse, handed it to Liz. "Thank you. Anyway, I totally failed him. I was so scared that he wasn't going to choose me. When he told you guys that it was the four of you now, I just wanted to die. I had to leave."
"I think what you did was really brave Liz." Isabel told her. Liz could see that she really meant it. "I couldn't leave Alex. Not until there was absolutely no choice. I think you knew that Max WOULD choose you. You didn't want him to have to make that choice. That's real courage in my books."
Liz snorted briefly. "Well, it obviously was all for nothing anyway. I don't understand what's happened to him. I didn't even think that Max was capable of being the person I've seen him be today." She giggled despite herself. "I mean, Pam Troy! What the heck is up with that?'
Isabel laughed too. "It's like we've entered the Twilight Zone. I'm expecting that guy to do his voice-over any minute. Welcome to Roswell, where nothing is ever normal and where people go bonkers at the drop of a hat," she intoned. Liz laughed again, the first genuine laugh she had had in a long time.
"What's so funny girls?" This came from Mr. Evans who was seated across the aisle from them with Liz's dad. Liz rolled her eyes at Isabel.
"Dads are so oblivious." She murmured under her breath. Isabel giggled again.
"Nothing Daddy. We're just really looking forward to the marshmallows tonight. Liz was just telling me about the time she ate 25 in one sitting." Mr. Parker grinned beside Isabel's dad,
"I remember that. We had one very sick little girl on our hands." He added. "But I think Maria was worse. Didn't she have about 30 Lizzie?" Liz nodded, laughed again.
"Yeah but she was fine. That was when Mrs. Deluca was going through her weird sugar diet phase. All Maria ate then was sugar anyway."
"Well, that can't possibly be any weirder than when Izzy and Max used to put Tabasco sauce on THEIR marshmallows," Mr. Evans argued. "Max did it first, if I recall correctly. He was about eight. He wanted Diane and I to try it too. Di did. I'll never forget the expression on her face." He laughed affectionately, but then stopped abruptly, turned in his seat to stare at his son sadly, who happened to be looking in their direction, clearly curious about what they were talking about.
Liz watched as Mr. Evans met Max's eyes. She couldn't believe it when Max glared at his father, deliberately took Pam's chin in his hand and started kissing her again.
She felt Isabel flinch beside her. She patted Isabel's arm reassuringly. "Don't worry Isabel. We're going to fix this. Somehow..."
Part 7
When the road gets dark
And you can no longer see...
Let my love throw a spark
Have a little faith in me...
Joe Cocker
The group had set up their camp in the exact same spot as the previous year. It had all been accomplished very quickly because the stars had just started to emerge when they settled down by the fire for an evening of what the dads thought would be bonding and the kids KNEW would be torture.
Liz sat on a log near the fire, listening to Kyle tell the same stupid story about cows and holes in heads that he had told last year. Instead of being annoyed, as she expected, she found herself liking it. It reminded her of the previous year - how, although none of them had been on the best of terms, at least they KNEW and trusted each other.
It was so different from what was going on at the moment, she felt like crying.
Isabel sat on her right, roasting a marshmallow. Liz was still amazed at how she managed to look like a goddess even in the middle of the bush. She had her blonde hair in a French braid and she was wearing the most beautiful jacket Liz had ever seen. She looked sporty but glamorous at the same time. Liz could see Alex sneaking glances at her from his place beside Kyle. It's ridiculous that those two aren't together, Liz reflected. They so blatantly want to be. I have to get through to Max for at least that reason. Fine if he doesn't want to be with me, but Alex and Izzy deserve to be happy if they can be.
Liz's gaze strayed to Maria and Tess, who were playing a rowdy game of Hearts with Mr. Evans and Sheriff Valenti. Both men looked amused by Maria's constant chatter and even Tess seemed to be enjoying herself. As Liz watched she trumped the Queen of Spades on poor Mr. Evans, crowing with triumph.
Liz noticed that Michael was watching them blankly, seated near Mr. Evans. It's like there's nothing going on up there, she reflected, as she analyzed Michael's empty eyes. The old Michael's eyes had been alive at all times, snapping with annoyance or sarcasm or, when he thought no one was looking, loneliness. And only sometimes, and only when he had been with Maria, Liz used to see happiness in Michael Guerin's eyes. But now there was just nothing.
She gazed across the fire at Max, who was sitting under a tree, Pam at his side. He was ignoring Pam at the moment, his head thrown back gazing at the stars, but Liz knew that wouldn't last long. She hadn't though that Max Evans was capable of such public displays of affection.
Well, that's not true, she amended ruefully. He certainly had no qualms about kissing me in public. A slight smile touched her face. When Max used to kiss Liz, it had been like they were the only two in the world, no matter where they were. More often than not Max had been embarrassed when he had remembered where he was. It had been one of his most endearing qualities, the fact that he couldn't seem to keep his hands off of her, despite it being completely contrary to his personality.
But what was going on with Pam was totally different. It freaked Liz out the way he seemed to be so deliberate every time he touched her. It looked like he was trying to get a rise out of someone whenever he did it. More than once she had seen him staring at her, Liz, when Pam was nibbling on his ear, or kissing his neck. It made her ill.
And, unfortunately, she couldn't make her eyes behave. They kept straying back to the couple across the way, although it felt like she was being stabbed in the heart every time.
Remember Liz, she admonished, that is not YOUR Max. That is not the Max that made you see stars when his lips touched yours, that let you SEE him in a way that could never be replaced.
The thing that pissed Liz off the most about the whole thing was that she didn't know what she was going to do if the anti-Max was here for good because the old Max had ruined her for anyone else. No one was ever going to compare to him. They just couldn't.
She had finally admitted to herself that running away had been pointless, because no matter where she ran he followed. He was a part of her. She would never feel about anyone else the way she felt about him - even if he was currently being a Grade-A jerk.
"So, Liz, have you figured out a way to get Max alone?" Isabel whispered suddenly.
"Well I had hoped that Pam would go with her dad when he went to the lake with my dad and Mr. Whitman, but I'm not really surprised she didn't." Liz replied. "None of the other kids went and she can't seem to keep her hands off of Max so..." Isabel sighed.
"I was hoping that I wouldn't have to do this," she muttered.
Isabel jumped to her feet, a blatantly false smile on her face. "Hey Pam!" She chirped in a voice so unlike Isabel's Alex's head jerked up.
Pam's head snapped around. She blinked, surprised. Liz realized that this was probably the first time that Isabel Evans had ever addressed Pam in anything remotely resembling friendliness.
"Yeah, Isabel?" she asked, warily. Liz tried hard to hide her smile. Poor Pam, she thought, not really feeling bad at all. She has no idea what she's in for.
"Alex, Kyle, Tess, Maria and I were going to go do some stargazing." Isabel told her. "Do you want to come?"
Pam looked confused, glanced at Liz, who tried her best to look innocent. "I don't know," she stammered. "Is Liz going?"
Liz noticed that Max was eyeing Isabel suspiciously, his eyes narrowed. "Nope!" Isabel replied. "Liz is on KP duty." Max's sister indicated the piles of dirty dishes sitting next to the fire. "Max is going to help her do them. Right Dad?" Isabel looked appealingly at her father.
Mr. Evans glanced up from his cards. He looked at his son, who was glaring at Isabel in annoyance. Liz could see that Max knew exactly what was going on and he was not pleased. "That would be nice of you Max." Mr. Evans looked so hopeful, Liz's heart went out to him. It appeared that any sign that the old Max might be around was like music to his father's ears.
Max rolled his eyes. "Fine." He muttered. Liz realized that it was actually the first time she had heard him speak since they had gotten off the bus.
"You're coming too Michael." This came from Maria, who had grabbed him by his collar and hauled him to his feet. Michael didn't say anything, just followed unprotestingly. Weird, thought Liz. Michael definitely has to be our next project.
Pam still looked unconvinced. "I don't know. Maybe I should stay here." She gave Liz a dirty look.
"No, no! I insist." Isabel exclaimed. She quickly grabbed Liz's hand, squeezed and then went and grabbed Pam by the arm, hauling her off into the woods. "We haven't really had a chance to get to know each other. I mean you are dating my brother after all." Liz could hear Isabel saying as Kyle, Alex, Maria and Michael followed. Tess left as well, glanced back once uncertainly, but shrugged and continued on her way. Alex stopped at the edge of the forest, grinned at Liz, gave her the thumbs up sign behind Max's back. Liz felt hysterical laughter about to explode.
Sheriff Valenti suddenly spoke up. "Hey Phil, I think you and I should head down to the lake to see the other dads, give the kids a chance to hang out on their own." Liz shot him a grateful look. He grinned at her. It's nice to know that you have a grown-up on your side, Liz reflected briefly.
She looked nervously at Max who was beginning to collect the dishes, dumping them into the bucket of water that had been heating up on the fire.
She swallowed, slowly went to join him.
"Do you want to wash or dry?" Max demanded suddenly. Liz nearly jumped out of her skin it was so unexpected.
"Ummm...I don't care. What would you rather do?" She asked quietly. Max turned to stare at her.
"I'd rather not be doing this at all as a matter of fact." He grabbed a towel, handed her the sponge. He raised an eyebrow her, motioned towards the pot of water. "Well?"
Liz flinched. His tone was so cold. She was finding it hard to believe that this was Max Evans talking to her. She quickly picked up a glass, scrubbed it, passed it to him to dry.
Okay Liz, get it together she told herself. Everyone is depending on you. This is Max. You can talk to him.
"So, how is everything?" She asked, realized that it sounded stupid, shook her head in annoyance. Liz glanced at him from the corner of her eye. He was scowling.
"Sorry Liz." He replied. "You don't have a right to know that anymore."
Liz blinked. "Oh. Okay." She stopped talking, tried to collect her thoughts. Max was staring off into the woods, an unreadable expression on his face as he waited for the next dish. When he began to tap his foot impatiently, Liz snapped.
"Max!" He turned back to look at her, surprise evident on his face. She saw that she had broken through at least a tiny piece of the wall he had built around himself. Okay, take advantage Liz, she told herself. "What is going on with you? Everyone is so worried about you."
"Nothing's going on Liz. I'm getting on with my life. I'm sorry that you and the others don't like it, but, well, that's really your problem." He snapped. The icy stare was back.
"Of course it's our problem Max! We all love you!"
Max snorted. "Funny way you had of showing you loved me Liz."
Liz felt the guilt come rushing back. "Max, I know now that I was wrong to run away from you. I was a coward. I admit it. But please! Be mad at me if you need to, but why do you have to be so mean to everyone else?" Max just stared at her. "I don't understand why you're destroying everything in your life. I'm not worth it! Flunking out of school, hurting your parents and Isabel dating Pam Troy for God's sake! Don't even make me go into how she's using you..." Liz felt herself beginning to lose control. "Max everyone loves you so much. Why are you hurting them like this? I've only been back for three days and already I can see how this is tearing everyone up." She felt tears beginning to well up in her eyes. She looked at Max - was any of this getting through?
He was still glaring at her, clearly listening, but just as clearly thinking she was insane.
In fact, he sort of looked bored.
Liz felt her anger rising. "What the Hell is the matter with you?" She demanded. "Have you gone crazy? What happened to the Max everyone loves? He was so kind and loving and sweet..." she trailed off when she realized that he was snickering.
"Jeez Liz - I'm not dead. I'm sorry I didn't turn out to be the guy you thought I was." It was clear that he wasn't sorry at all. "But really, there's no need for the soap opera." He reached out and patted her on the shoulder. She flinched at the condescending action. "I'm doing just fine. I happen to like Pam. She's fun, not serious. There's not the constant boring dissection of every little thing with her." He eyed her, amused.
Is there no way to break him down? Liz wondered. She could only think of one thing to say - one thing that might work. He was turning away, getting ready to throw the dish water into the bush..."But Max! I love you."
He froze. Liz could see it. His face was turned away from her, but he had heard her.
Max turned around, looked her right in the eye and said the words Liz had been sure she would never hear coming from his lips. "But Liz, I don't love you."
With that, he threw his dish-towel down on a log, smirked at her and walked off into the bush in the direction the others had disappeared.
Part 8
"I think I should go back." Pam whined as Isabel hauled her through the bush. They had been walking for about twenty minutes now and Isabel realized that she had probably gotten them all good and lost at this point.
That's what I'm trying to do though, Isabel reflected. The longer we're gone, the more time Liz will have to try and get Max to open up.
"Oh don't be such a wuss Troy." This came from Kyle, who was helping Tess over a log. "Everyone knows the best stargazing is on the far side of the lake." Isabel shot him a grateful look. Who knew Kyle Valenti would turn out to be so helpful?
"I just don't understand why Max got stuck back there with that wench Liz." Isabel halted abruptly, turned and stared at Pam. Was she that clueless? Everyone else was staring at Pam as well.
"Uh, news flash Pam." Alex said evenly. "We're all Liz's friends." Pam snorted, tossed her head.
"Which makes you all as loserish as she is." Maria stepped forward, a murderous expression on her face. Alex and Tess quickly grabbed her by the arms, Alex wrapping his arm around her waist and clamping a hand over her mouth.
Isabel shot Maria a warning look. They had to give Liz more time.
"Well, we can't all get along." She said to Pam through gritted teeth. "Why don't we just drop the subject." Unfortunately it wasn't going to be as easy as that. Pam was evidently on a roll.
"Liz is just so pathetic. I mean, everyone knows that she ran off to England because she couldn't deal with the fact that Max dumped her. No one could believe he wanted to go out with that little nerd to begin with. He might have been quiet when they went out, but he was studly man. He could have had any girl in the school. Does Liz put out or something?" Pam asked with false concern. Maria's eyes were practically bugging out of her head above Alex's hand.
Tess was eyeing Pam with annoyance. "Do you even know Liz?" She demanded suddenly. Pam blinked.
"Huh?" Pam's mouth was twitching.
Tess continued. "You obviously don't know Liz Parker at all, do you?" Maria and Alex were both staring at Tess with suspicion, wondering where she was going with this. "I don't know her very well either, but from what I've seen she's loyal and friendly and sweet." Alex and Kyle exchanged glances of wonder.
"I really like Liz too." Isabel inserted, picking up from Tess. "I think she was the best thing that ever happened to my brother." Isabel suddenly realized that this was true. She had never seen Max as happy, as complete, as he had been when he was with Liz. The entire disaster that was Max had begun after Liz had walked away from him. Everything had gone wrong from that moment on.
Sort of how nothing is right when Alex and I aren't together. She glanced at her ex-boyfriend from under her lashes, wishing that she could be the one holding his hand right now, not Maria.
Thinking of Maria made Isabel think of Michael. "Hey!" She suddenly cut off Pam, who was muttering under her breath about them all being idiots. "Where's Michael?"
Maria's head snapped up and she wrenched Alex's hand away from her mouth. "He was here a minute ago." She began to twist around frantically. "Michael! Where are you?"
"Oh he wondered off into the bush a few minutes ago." Pam told them dismissively. "Who cares anyway? He's weird." Alex quickly grabbed Maria again before she could make a move. Maria was just ignoring Pam anyway.
"We have to find him! I don't think he even knows what he's doing half the time." She looked at Isabel pleadingly. "Izzy can you like find him somehow? That destiny crap has got to be good for something." Isabel looked sharply at Pam, stared back at Maria meaningfully. Pam knew nothing about their secret, unless Max HAD truly lost his mind. She had no intention of having her find out by accident.
Maria snapped her mouth shut, looked embarrassed.
Pam was glaring from one to the other annoyed. "You guys are so psycho." She said snootily. " I can't even understand what you're talking about half the time. I am so glad Max has decided to ditch you all,'cause let me tell you, there is no way I'm hanging out with you freaks on a regular basis."
She turned suddenly to Kyle. "Even you Valenti - you're hanging out with losers all the time. Your position at school has been totally compromised. Dating Parker last year was bad enough, but this..." Pam pointed at Alex with disdain. "The geek of the junior class? And Miss Snotty Isabel Evans, not to mention that dingbat Maria, who's mom is the town tramp. And then there's little Tess Harding, who everyone knows is a slut. I mean everyone heard the rumors from her old school when she moved here."
Alex grinned at Pam, put a comforting arm around Tess. Tess looked at him in surprise, clearly not that upset about what Pam was saying since she knew that Pam had started all the rumors about her. "Ah Pam, you're a real laugh-riot, you know? Could you be any less original? Everyone knows I'm a geek. I mean, if you're going to hate us, at least let it be because WE loathe YOU." The rest of the group had been staring at Pam, but all turned to stare at Alex instead. Kyle started to laugh.
"And know Pam," continued Maria. "We really, REALLY loathe you." Isabel giggled.
So much for trying to be friends with Pam she thought. Isabel found that she was not at all surprised that it was going to be impossible. I would have felt like I was betraying Liz anyway, she thought. She and my brother might have made me ill on occasion, but at least I like Liz. Tess is right. She is loyal and kind. Isabel realized that she trusted few people as she trusted Liz. She even trusted Liz to save her brother from himself, since Isabel had been so incapable of doing so.
"Enough of this tomfoolery," said Alex. "We have to split up and find Michael." Isabel was glad that someone else was taking control. "Kyle can you take Izzy and Pam with you?" Kyle nodded. "I'll go with Maria and Tess." Isabel felt it like a stab to the heart that Alex didn't want to search with her. Oh focus Isabel, she reprimanded sharply. This is so not the time.
"I'm not going anywhere," pouted Pam. She sat down on a log, crossed her arms and glared at them all. "I hope he drowns."
"Oh for crying out loud." Kyle rolled his eyes. "Great! You can just stay here then. Maybe the bears will eat you." Pam stood up immediately.
Isabel was ignoring the arguing going on around her. She was trying to connect with Michael.
Since the last year, she had become much more adept at entering other people's minds. She had been practicing and now she didn't need to have a picture anymore and could usually penetrate others' thoughts when they were awake. The only people she had no success with were Max and Michael unfortunately. They seemed to know exactly what to do to block her access.
Of course, before they had never bothered to block her. They had trusted her completely. Now that Max was no longer MAX and Michael was always out of it, they had shut her out. And she had definitely tried to get to them, if even to get a little hint about what was going on in their stubborn heads since the whole destiny fiasco.
Isabel shuddered when she remembered the one time she had actually gotten anywhere with Max. He had been asleep, but he had known the instant she had entered his dream. It still hurt to reflect on how the dream Max had forcibly thrown her out.
Isabel opened her eyes. She could see that Maria was watching her hopefully. She just shook her head regretfully. Maria's eyes shadowed. Pam was still complaining.
"Why can't someone just take me back?" She whined. Alex was scrubbing his eyes in frustration.
"Oh, don't we wish we could - back to Hell, where you belong,"he muttered.
"Someone's coming!" Maria said suddenly. They all stopped talking instantly, even Pam.
"What if it's a bear?" She whispered. Alex just rolled his eyes and Kyle snickered.
Michael appeared suddenly from behind a tree. They all just stared at him. They all stared more when they realized who was with him.
It was Max.
And he did not look happy.
Of course, when does he ever look happy? Isabel thought. She felt herself about to giggle hysterically.
"Did you finish the dishes?" She smiled inanely at her brother.
Max did not respond, he just shot her an annoyed look. "Are you guys done pumping Pam for information?" He demanded. Isabel flinched.
"Where's Liz?" This came from Maria, who was glaring at Max. If anyone hated Max now, it was Maria.
Max glanced at her and then away dismissively. "She's probably off somewhere bawling," he replied coldly. He turned to Pam. "Nice of you to try and get along with them for my sake, but it's not necessary. Let's just go." Pam stuck her nose in the air, went to stand beside him. She shot Maria a superior look as she passed.
"Make sure to say hi to Liz when you go back to the campsite," she said. Then she reached up, grabbed Max's head and kissed him.
Isabel turned away. It was revolting. She hated her brother at that moment - hated him for doing this to himself.
Max broke the kiss, took Pam's hand and led her off into the bush. Michael followed, still not having said a word.
Maria, Tess, Alex, Kyle and Isabel all stood there in silence.
"Well, that was anticlimactic." Kyle finally said. Maria snapped to attention.
"We have to get back to Lizzie." She looked worried. "Even if Max was just being a jerk, which is more than likely, I'm betting their talk didn't go very well."
"That's an understatement." Alex muttered.
So much for stargazing, thought Isabel as they all trooped back through the woods. She shot a sad look at Alex.
Part 9
When the road gets dark
And you can no longer see
Let my light throw a spark
Have a little faith in me.
And when the tears you cried
Are all you can believe
Give these loving arms a try,
And have a little faith in me...
Joe Cocker
Liz tossed and turned in her sleeping bag. Maria was curled up on one side of her in the tent, muttering in her sleep. Liz's dad was snoring softly on the other side.
She sighed, sat up, punched her pillow and flopped back down.
This is hopeless, she realized. Her mind was going a mile a minute, going over and over what she had said to Max, what HE had said to her. What could I have said that would have gotten through to him? she wondered for the thousandth time.
After Max had walked away from her, after their highly unsuccessful conversation, Liz had gone into her tent and had let the tears come. She had cried, feeling so sad and so guilty, she didn't know if she would be able to stop.
She didn't know how much time had passed, but suddenly Maria, Isabel and even Tess were there. Maria had pulled her head into her lap, stroking her hair, had let her cry. When she had spoken, her tone had been so bitter it had snapped Liz out of her self-pity. "I promised myself that I would never let him make you cry like this again Lizzie."
Liz knew that Maria was thinking of the time Liz had seen him kissing Tess. She glanced at Tess, who suddenly looked uncomfortable. Liz could see that the other girl really wanted to help though. "It wasn't Max who did this Maria." Liz replied, sending Tess a reassuring smile. This was not the time for pettiness and old hurts. Liz knew that both she and Tess loved Max, which was what was important. "That is not Max," she continued.
Liz looked at Isabel. Max's sister had tears glistening in her beautiful dark eyes. "What are we going to do Liz?" She asked. "You were my last hope. I was so sure that he would listen to you." Tess put a comforting arm around Isabel's shoulder. "He loved you so much."
"Don't worry Isabel." Liz smiled at the blonde. "I haven't given up." She suddenly stood up, made her way to the tent door. "Now let's go show him that he didn't hurt me. He cannot know. It will only make things worse. He can't know that he still has that power over me."
"Wait Liz!" Isabel crawled over to Liz, grabbed her hand, pulled her back down. Liz blinked as Isabel gently ran her hands across her face. "To wipe away the signs that you've been crying," she explained.
Liz smiled again. "Thank you."
Isabel shook her head ruefully. "Unfortunately I've had a lot of practice doing that recently." Liz couldn't help herself. She started to laugh. Isabel stared at her for a moment, then laughed too. "This is just brutal isn't it?"
"It is the brutalist." Liz agreed, "Even though I'm sure that's not a word." She and Isabel erupted into gales of laughter. Tess and Maria exchanged looks, turned back to look at them like they were crazy.
"I think they're hysterical." Tess muttered under her breath to Maria. Maria just stared at them with wide eyes.
"We're not hysterical." Liz continued to laugh. "We're just laughing through the pain." She was still giggling as she crawled out of the tent. She turned back, took all the other girls in with a glance. "Now we are going to have fun tonight despite Mr. Meanie." Liz grinned at Maria as she used her best friend's new name for Max. "At least we have each other. I'll try again tomorrow when he's unprepared."
Isabel nodded. "I'm sure he thinks you'll give up now."
Liz pressed her lips together in determination. "I will never give up. He'll have to kill me if he wants me to give up."
They had left the tent.
The four of them, plus Alex and Kyle, played the roles of their lives that night. They had laughed, they had told stories, they had roasted marshmallows like their lives depended on it. Liz had even genuinely enjoyed herself at certain points, like when Alex had accidentally gotten marshmallow stuck in Isabel's hair. It had been fun to watch the two of them pretend to be just friends, but covertly try and touch each other when no one else was looking. At one point, Isabel had poked Alex in the side. He had swung around in surprise, getting the marshmallow he was roasting hopelessly caught in Isabel's blonde locks. The look of absolute horror on her face had been priceless. Maria and Liz had burst out laughing, Kyle had snorted and Tess had giggled. Alex had looked like he thought Isabel was going to murder him. And she had certainly looked like she was going to - until she started to laugh as well.
They had all laughed themselves silly, releasing all the pent-up misery and despair, but had all abruptly stopped when Max, seated near the Evans' tent with Pam and Michael had suddenly yelled, "Will you guys please shut the hell up?"
Maria had hiccuped once, but after that, no one really felt like laughing anymore. They had all soon retired to bed.
Now as she lay awake at three in the morning, Liz's resolve increased. Images of HER Max flowed through her mind, giving her strength:
Max gazing at her with love as she worked her shift at the Crashdown...
Max teasingly playing with her hair in biology...
Max staring at her with hot eyes on the night of the party at the soap factory - the night before they had shared their first kiss....
Max grabbing her, lifting her onto the table in the back room of the Crashdown, kissing her with abandon, like he couldn't stop, even if his life depended on it...
Max pleading with her to have faith in him - in them - after she had seen him kiss Tess...
Max staring at her through the glass in the House of Mirrors before he had been taken by the Special Unit, his only concern for her, his only wish to get to her...
Max telling her that he wanted to be with her, that his destiny was with her, that he LOVED her...
Max, with tears in his beautiful eyes, watching her walk away from him, down that cliff and out of his life....
Liz felt tears fill her eyes again. She couldn't breathe! She needed air.
She grabbed her pillow and sleeping bag, crawled to the entrance of the tent and stumbled out.
Liz stood, took deep, cleansing breaths. Her thoughts were screaming though. MAX! Where are you???
She blinked when she suddenly saw movement near the Evans's tent. Liz looked around frantically. He couldn't see her like this! It would ruin everything!
Liz dropped her sleeping bag and pillow and threw herself down on top of them. She slammed her eyes shut.
Relax Liz, she thought. Look natural. She concentrated on gentling the expression on her face, on breathing deeply and evenly.
She knew it was Max, just as she had always known when he was near. She could hear him moving around quietly, clearly not wanting to wake anyone up. She heard him fiddle with something near the fire and then silence. Liz carefully opened her eyes, keeping them slitted, to see what he was doing.
Max had a stick in his hand and he was poking around in the fire. His face was in her direct line of vision, the flames creating dancing shadows across his familiar and beloved features. His expression was somber but it was not the anti-Max - she knew it. Liz felt her heart practically stop in her chest. He looked so much like the Max she knew and loved - his face was relaxed and open, not hard and cold like it had been every time she had seen him since she had been back.
He sighed heavily. She made herself close her eyes again when she realized that he was looking in her direction. Calm down, calm down, she kept repeating to herself. He thinks you're asleep. If he knows you're awake he'll shut down again.
Liz could hear him quietly walking in her direction. Her body began to tingle. She could hear him breathing.
He seemed to stop just a few feet away from her. She KNEW he was watching her. She couldn't help it - she shivered, not from the cold but from his proximity.
Her ears were straining to hear the smallest sound. Max said nothing, just continued to watch her. It took all her willpower not to open her eyes, not to look and see if was really HIM, her Max.
And then she knew it was. Suddenly she felt a warm breeze brush her cheek, seem to settle over her like a blanket. She could almost envision Max gently waving his hand over her, keeping her warm.
An image of him reaching his hand behind her in the Jeep that night they had chased Michael and Maria to Marathon appeared unbidden. "Just wanted to keep you warm," he had told her gently as he had fixed a hole in the roof of the car.
She thought she heard him speak suddenly. "Liz..." but it might have been the wind - or wishful thinking.
Her heart screamed as she heard him move away from her. Max! Liz slit open her eyes again, watched him return to the fire.
Max's head was lowered pensively when a noise from the woods caused him to snap it up. Liz's heart was in her throat as he turned and entered the forest, apparently looking for something.
Liz only waited until his back disappeared. She jumped to her feet, quickly pulled on her shoes, grabbed her flashlight and followed him.
Part 10
When Liz stumbled over a root, she froze, straining her ears to see if Max had heard her. He was about thirty feet ahead of her, moving at a fast pace. He stopped once as though he was listening, turned to the right abruptly and plunged through the foliage.
Although the stars were beginning to fade and the sky was beginning to brighten, it was still quite dark in the woods. Liz had turned off her flashlight so as to not draw Max's attention, but she realized that she was likely going to kill herself in the process. She moaned as she bumped into a tree, smacking her head quite hard.
When she looked up, Max had disappeared. Liz looked around frantically, her ears peeled trying to hear any noise. "Max, where the hell are you?" She muttered. And then, suddenly, she heard a voice.
"It's okay." It was Max. "I'm not going to hurt you." The gentle tone made Liz's heart skip a beat. She cautiously made her way in the direction of his voice, stopped abruptly behind a tree when she realized that she was about to stumble out into a clearing and directly into Max's line of vision. She looked in the direction of the camp, realized that they really weren't that far into the bush at all. She could still see the dancing flames of the campfire reflecting off the trees.
Liz paused and then carefully peeked around the tree, praying under her breath that Max was not looking up.
He wasn't. He was crouched on the ground over a large, shadowed shape. Max's hand was hovering over the shape, apparently trying to soothe it.
Liz realized that it was a deer - and that it was hurt. She could see that it's delicate leg was bent back at an awkward angle. The animal's eyes were bright with terror in the hazy dawn.
"Shhhh!" Max gently stroked the deer leg, clearly trying to get a handle on what was wrong with it. As Liz watched his hand began to glow. Max's face whitened as he took the deer's pain into his own body - healing it.
Liz felt tears beginning to fill her eyes. She flashed back to when Max had healed her - when their amazing connection to each other had begun.
She could still see Max hovering over her like it was yesterday: "You're okay now...you're going to be okay..." She still recalled the feeling of wonder that had claimed her That she had been about to die - and that Max Evans had pulled her back.
Suddenly the deer was on it's feet and bounding off into the bush. Max watched it go, his expression unreadable.
"Max," she breathed, getting ready to step out from behind the tree, to let him know that she had seen everything, that she KNEW he was pretending to be something he wasn't. He was still her Max. He had just shown it.
Max was still staring after the deer. As she watched him, he reached up, scrubbed his hand across his eyes wearily.
"What the Hell are you doing?" Another voice demanded, anger evident in the tone. Max's head snapped up. Liz recognized the voice immediately.
It was Michael and he had appeared in the clearing from a different direction. Now he was glaring at Max.
"What do you want Michael?" Max asked tiredly.
"I want to know what the hell you're doing?" Michael snapped back. "Where the hell is Liz?" Max stared at him.
"What are you talking about?" He demanded. He had begun to look around the clearing suspiciously. Liz felt her heart stop in her chest.
"She's not in the camp." Michael replied tonelessly. "When I saw that you were both gone I decided to make sure you weren't ruining everything." Max sighed.
"Liz isn't with me as you can clearly see." He looked sad for a moment. "I've taken care of that. You don't have to worry about it."
"That still doesn't explain where she is." Michael replied. He too was peering into the bush. Liz started to back carefully away. The tone of Michael's voice - it was terrifying. She literally didn't know what he would do to her if he found her spying on them. He sounded furious. What the heck is going on with you guys? She wondered to herself.
"If she saw you out here playing Dr. Dolittle, they're'll be hell to pay Maxwell." Michael continued.
"She's not here okay? She probably went to the bathroom. I'm not her keeper for God's sake." Max told him, his tone becoming annoyed. "I promised I wouldn't have anything to do with her - with any of them. I've kept my word until now haven't I?"
"Whatever. You just see that you keep it up. You know what's going to happen if you don't. You know what you promised to do and you know now what I can do." Michael threatened. "I don't want to have to hurt you Max, but I will." Liz saw Max swallow, look away from Michael's angry face. "Don't push me."
With that Michael stormed off into the woods. Liz let her breath out with woosh. She hadn't even realized that she had been holding it.
"Liz?" Max was staring right in her direction. She knew he was. Just as she could feel when he was near, he could feel her. It had always been that way, at least since he had healed her. "You can come out now. I know you're there." Liz couldn't tell if he sounded worried or annoyed. But there was no use trying to pretend she hadn't heard him.
Liz took a deep breath, stepped out of the shadows and into the increasingly bright clearing. Max was staring at her. His expression was shuttered. She could not figure out for the life of her what he was thinking.
"Max..." she began.
"What the hell are doing here?" He asked coldly.
To be continued...