DAINTY FINGERS SHOULDN'T TOUCH A SHARP KUNAI
by Amaterasu
ACT ONE
One upon a time, in the faraway land of Japan, there lived Emperor Kenshin and his wife, Empress Kaoru. After years of trying, Kaoru finally bore a daughter whom they named Saemi.
There was a grand feast prepared for Saemi's baptismal. Empress Kaoru invited everyone in the land. She also invited three women to be Saemi's god mothers. They were Megumi, Tae and Ochika. They also invited three great men to be her god fathers. They were Okina, Hiko and Saitou.
But alas, there was someone sorely pissed off to have not been invited. It was Kamatari! The big-scythe wielder-crossdresser wasn't invited to the gathering because he had offended the Empress by showing her his...parts.
Full blown mad, Kamatari rushed to the palace, an evil plan in her head.
Meanwhile, at the party, everyone was cooing over the baby except for Megumi who was making out with someone tall, lanky and spiky haired at the garden.
" Oi. I need to go. They will look for me. " Megumi whispered to the man beside her.
" Chikuso! We haven't even started. Awwwww, please stay a few more minutes ? " then kissed Megumi again who can't do anything but kiss him back...
While Megumi is out in the garden with San- err... her young man, Kamatari descended upon the gathering with the force of a great wind.
" Now, I bestow upon you the gift of being the best cook there is! " Tae announced as she presented a large apron to the baby.
" And I, would like to wish you lithe and grace! " Ochika chimed in
" My dear lovely sweet Saemi, I give you the gift of being horn- I mean wise" Okina ammended, a lecherous gleam in his eyes
" And I, the genius that I am, will grant you some of this genius! " Hiko roared as Ochika's eyes turn into hearts
" .............. "
" What was that Saitou-san? " the empress asked,her eyes trained on the man
" Hmmm, ahou. "
" Why you! I'm an empress! You shouldn't be treating me that way! " then reached for the shinai
" Maa, maa. Come on Saitou just get on with it"
" Che. I wish you good health. There satisfied? "
The Empress nodded approvingly while the emperor continued to look around "Ano...
where is Megumi-dono? "
" Yeah! Where did Megumi run -off? " Kaoru asked looking very put out
A sudden gust of wind blinded everyone for the moment
" HOW DARE YOU NOT INVITE ME?? "
" Kamatari-san?? Is that you de gozaru?? " Kenshin asked, eyes closed
" YES! IT IS I! THE GREAT KAMATARI!! "
" Oh great. We got a cross dresser in here " Hiko remarked as he took another gulp of his sake.
" Oro? "
" How dare you show your face here? After you...you..." Kaoru turned red in the face making Ochika and Tae giggle.
" After I what Your Majesty?"
" Hmph! Just get out! You're not invited! "
" Well, I just wanted to wish a little something for our baby here. When you reach your 16th birthday, you shall prick your hand at a kunai and die!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" Then the scythe wielder disappeared in a puff of smoke.
" Die? Did she just say die? Did I miss something??? "
" MEGUMI-DONO!!! "
" Umm, am I missing something here? You all look shell-shocked. "
" You mean you don't know? Where the hell have you been anyway ? " Kaoru screeched her arms waving frantically
" Well, I was outside in the garden. "
A tick appeared in Kaoru's forehead "Well what were you doing in the garden when you should have been here? "
The other woman started toying with her hair " Well, I was..."
" You were?? "
" I was.... "
" ............."
Long moments passed.
Kenshin looked dazed (Orooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo @_@) :Þ
Kaoru looks mighty peeved.
Ochika started twiddling her thumbs.
Tae was clutching her tray.
Hiko looked on as he drank sake.
Saitou smoked his cigarette with a smirk on his face.
" SO TELL US ALREADY! " Kaoru exploded, her hand flailing and hitting her husband full in the face.
" Orororrooooooooooooooooooooooo! "
" Gomen ne Kenshin! "
Megumi cleared her throat " It's none of your business! "
(GENERAL FACEFAULT)
" Whatever! "
" Maa, maa. Calm down. I guess this means we should hide all the kunai in the country. "
" I guess so. " Kaoru replied
" But that will be a great loss to the Ninjas! " Okina remarked
" We could train with shuriken " Ochika suggested
" Then its settled. All kunai are therefore to be melted. " Kenshin announced
" But what if Kamatari comes back for Saemi-chan? "
" You'll have to hide her. " Hiko replied
Kaoru's face fell. A deep sadness started to blossom inside her.
" They're right koishii. She has to be hidden. " The Empress turned to her husband. Kenshin looked deep into his wife's eyes and read the pain it took for her to make this decision.
" Where would we hide her then? " Tae asked
Saitou spoke up " Someone who lives in a secluded place- "
" Chotto matte!!! What if she touches a kunai? Will she die? She will!!" Kaoru said
" Maybe I can do something about it . After all I haven't made my gift. " Megumi spoke up.
The pale woman moved closer to the infant "On your 16th birthday, you shall prick your finger on a kunai, but you will not die. You shall fall into a deep sleep until a Prince shall offer you his love. "
" How romantic! " Tae gushed
" As I was saying, she should live with someone who's hidden in somewhere secluded. Limited human contact and where only a few people know how to get there. "
All eyes turned to Hiko.
He turned a baleful stare at them " No. "
" But Shishou! There's no one else we could trust! " Kenshin rose and knelt before Hiko " Please master, do this for Saemi. "
The big man just looked at the smaller man kneeling before him. " All right. " He said grudgingly.
" So, the move shall be done by sunrise! "
END OF ACT ONE
::::::::::::::::::::::::::RAMBLINGS::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Backstage:
Saitou: That was the worst part I've ever been in. I didn't even get to say at least 10 lines! My talent is wasted here!
Sano: Shut up you megalo-maniac, you don't have talent!
Kaoru: (looking dazed) screech? proper ladies don't screech. i dont screech. oh why????????
Tae: I wonder where the director is? She really needs to work on the plot
Amaterasu: I heard that Tae! What were you saying about the plot?
Megumi: It sucks.
Amaterasu: Nandatte???????????? (turns battousai-mode)
Ochika: Hiko, lets go to our trailer NOW! I need my massage
Hiko: (wounded puppy look) Hai!
Okina: ummm, Ms. Director? Why am I portraying a lecherous old man?
Amaterasu: That's because you are one! (beats Okina to pulp)
Kamatari: My dear poor Okina! (gives Okina a hug )
Okina: Get off me you cross dresser!!!!!! (sends kamatari flying)
Kenshin:( gets hit by kamatari) Oroooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo @_@
Jap bits
sake : rice wine
shishou : master, teacher
nandatte : what did you say?
by Amaterasu
ACT ONE
One upon a time, in the faraway land of Japan, there lived Emperor Kenshin and his wife, Empress Kaoru. After years of trying, Kaoru finally bore a daughter whom they named Saemi.
There was a grand feast prepared for Saemi's baptismal. Empress Kaoru invited everyone in the land. She also invited three women to be Saemi's god mothers. They were Megumi, Tae and Ochika. They also invited three great men to be her god fathers. They were Okina, Hiko and Saitou.
But alas, there was someone sorely pissed off to have not been invited. It was Kamatari! The big-scythe wielder-crossdresser wasn't invited to the gathering because he had offended the Empress by showing her his...parts.
Full blown mad, Kamatari rushed to the palace, an evil plan in her head.
Meanwhile, at the party, everyone was cooing over the baby except for Megumi who was making out with someone tall, lanky and spiky haired at the garden.
" Oi. I need to go. They will look for me. " Megumi whispered to the man beside her.
" Chikuso! We haven't even started. Awwwww, please stay a few more minutes ? " then kissed Megumi again who can't do anything but kiss him back...
While Megumi is out in the garden with San- err... her young man, Kamatari descended upon the gathering with the force of a great wind.
" Now, I bestow upon you the gift of being the best cook there is! " Tae announced as she presented a large apron to the baby.
" And I, would like to wish you lithe and grace! " Ochika chimed in
" My dear lovely sweet Saemi, I give you the gift of being horn- I mean wise" Okina ammended, a lecherous gleam in his eyes
" And I, the genius that I am, will grant you some of this genius! " Hiko roared as Ochika's eyes turn into hearts
" .............. "
" What was that Saitou-san? " the empress asked,her eyes trained on the man
" Hmmm, ahou. "
" Why you! I'm an empress! You shouldn't be treating me that way! " then reached for the shinai
" Maa, maa. Come on Saitou just get on with it"
" Che. I wish you good health. There satisfied? "
The Empress nodded approvingly while the emperor continued to look around "Ano...
where is Megumi-dono? "
" Yeah! Where did Megumi run -off? " Kaoru asked looking very put out
A sudden gust of wind blinded everyone for the moment
" HOW DARE YOU NOT INVITE ME?? "
" Kamatari-san?? Is that you de gozaru?? " Kenshin asked, eyes closed
" YES! IT IS I! THE GREAT KAMATARI!! "
" Oh great. We got a cross dresser in here " Hiko remarked as he took another gulp of his sake.
" Oro? "
" How dare you show your face here? After you...you..." Kaoru turned red in the face making Ochika and Tae giggle.
" After I what Your Majesty?"
" Hmph! Just get out! You're not invited! "
" Well, I just wanted to wish a little something for our baby here. When you reach your 16th birthday, you shall prick your hand at a kunai and die!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" Then the scythe wielder disappeared in a puff of smoke.
" Die? Did she just say die? Did I miss something??? "
" MEGUMI-DONO!!! "
" Umm, am I missing something here? You all look shell-shocked. "
" You mean you don't know? Where the hell have you been anyway ? " Kaoru screeched her arms waving frantically
" Well, I was outside in the garden. "
A tick appeared in Kaoru's forehead "Well what were you doing in the garden when you should have been here? "
The other woman started toying with her hair " Well, I was..."
" You were?? "
" I was.... "
" ............."
Long moments passed.
Kenshin looked dazed (Orooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo @_@) :Þ
Kaoru looks mighty peeved.
Ochika started twiddling her thumbs.
Tae was clutching her tray.
Hiko looked on as he drank sake.
Saitou smoked his cigarette with a smirk on his face.
" SO TELL US ALREADY! " Kaoru exploded, her hand flailing and hitting her husband full in the face.
" Orororrooooooooooooooooooooooo! "
" Gomen ne Kenshin! "
Megumi cleared her throat " It's none of your business! "
(GENERAL FACEFAULT)
" Whatever! "
" Maa, maa. Calm down. I guess this means we should hide all the kunai in the country. "
" I guess so. " Kaoru replied
" But that will be a great loss to the Ninjas! " Okina remarked
" We could train with shuriken " Ochika suggested
" Then its settled. All kunai are therefore to be melted. " Kenshin announced
" But what if Kamatari comes back for Saemi-chan? "
" You'll have to hide her. " Hiko replied
Kaoru's face fell. A deep sadness started to blossom inside her.
" They're right koishii. She has to be hidden. " The Empress turned to her husband. Kenshin looked deep into his wife's eyes and read the pain it took for her to make this decision.
" Where would we hide her then? " Tae asked
Saitou spoke up " Someone who lives in a secluded place- "
" Chotto matte!!! What if she touches a kunai? Will she die? She will!!" Kaoru said
" Maybe I can do something about it . After all I haven't made my gift. " Megumi spoke up.
The pale woman moved closer to the infant "On your 16th birthday, you shall prick your finger on a kunai, but you will not die. You shall fall into a deep sleep until a Prince shall offer you his love. "
" How romantic! " Tae gushed
" As I was saying, she should live with someone who's hidden in somewhere secluded. Limited human contact and where only a few people know how to get there. "
All eyes turned to Hiko.
He turned a baleful stare at them " No. "
" But Shishou! There's no one else we could trust! " Kenshin rose and knelt before Hiko " Please master, do this for Saemi. "
The big man just looked at the smaller man kneeling before him. " All right. " He said grudgingly.
" So, the move shall be done by sunrise! "
END OF ACT ONE
::::::::::::::::::::::::::RAMBLINGS::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Backstage:
Saitou: That was the worst part I've ever been in. I didn't even get to say at least 10 lines! My talent is wasted here!
Sano: Shut up you megalo-maniac, you don't have talent!
Kaoru: (looking dazed) screech? proper ladies don't screech. i dont screech. oh why????????
Tae: I wonder where the director is? She really needs to work on the plot
Amaterasu: I heard that Tae! What were you saying about the plot?
Megumi: It sucks.
Amaterasu: Nandatte???????????? (turns battousai-mode)
Ochika: Hiko, lets go to our trailer NOW! I need my massage
Hiko: (wounded puppy look) Hai!
Okina: ummm, Ms. Director? Why am I portraying a lecherous old man?
Amaterasu: That's because you are one! (beats Okina to pulp)
Kamatari: My dear poor Okina! (gives Okina a hug )
Okina: Get off me you cross dresser!!!!!! (sends kamatari flying)
Kenshin:( gets hit by kamatari) Oroooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo @_@
Jap bits
sake : rice wine
shishou : master, teacher
nandatte : what did you say?