Title: Gundanium Underpants, the MST3K! ^_^
Author: Sparkler. ;)
Disclaimer: The original "Gundanium Underpants" belongs to Underlord Backlash, who's supernice and talented and let me use it. ^_^ The characters are © whoever GW's respective creators are. ^_^
Summary: Sparkler lets her mind run rampant... ;)
Author's Note: This was based on an ICQ convo I had with my pal Lily, who originally sent this fic to me. ;)
Rating: I'd say R, just for the implications... ;)
~*~*~*~
GUNDANIUM UNDERPANTS
By Underlord Backlash
Here are some lines from Gundam Wing that are much more amusing with
the word "underpants" substituted into them.
And here is me, MST3King them! ;)
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1. Heero: "I'll eliminate all underpants."
REALLY Now?! O_o
2. Lady Une: "We won't be needing underpants any further."
Sounds like a major booty call to ME! ;)
3. Rashid: "There will be a day when the underpants will save us all."*
Yes, if your speaking of a fire-hazardous nudist colony, I completely see your point. ;)
4. Relena: "All of you are very mistaken, and the underpants
will soon come to rectify your mistakes."
Relena? Did you take your medication today dear girl? O_o
5. Zechs: "Those Gundam pilots are desperate, they'll battle
even if it means forfeiting their own underpants."
Maybe it's just me, but, does he seem hopeful??? O_o
6. Heero: "Underpants, accepted."
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY!!!!!!!!! ;)
7. Duo: "How's this for some underpants maneuvering?"
DUO!!!!!!!!! You horny devil you!!!!!!!!! ;)
8. Duo: "SoS as long as this peace continues, there's no need
for underpants."
Something that Heero will be glad to hear! ;) (His job is done! ;)
9. Duo: "So Wufei didn't bring his after allS" Quatre: "No, he
didn't; Heero and Trowa sent their underpants to me right away."
I have a feeling Wufei isn't into the whole "shagging like monkeys and sharing underwear as a trophy" thing... ;)
10. Preventer Ann: "One year ago, people did not have the peace of
mind to enjoy underpants."
Makes you wonder... ;)
11. Noin: "The Preventers only put out fires, these underpants
don't suit us."
You're really hard to buy for, Noin. I hope you know that. ;)
12. Dekim Barton: "There's nothing wrong with wishing for
underpants, but the question is, 'Is humanity ready for it?'"
If they're not then boy have the stockholders in underwear companies have something to worry about! ;)
13. Mariameia: "My father entrusted me with these Christmas
underpants, I've got to deliver them to the people."
OOOH!!!!! Are they the ones with candy canes?! ;D
14. Duo: "Anything at all, for the underpants you loveS"
15. Dekim: "UNDERPANTS! The time has come!"
Anybody else imagine that this could be the begginning of a musical number? O_o
16. Dekim: "And we shall be the symbol of underpants for the people!"
Hey now!!! Your taking away the fruit of the loom's guys jobs!!!! That is not cool...
17. Zechs: "If I may suggest, I'd like the name 'Underpants'S"
Zech's ol' boy, I know you get a lot of jokes about your name. But isn't this procedure a little drastic? ;)
18. Heero: "I've been underpants ever since the day I was born."
My life is fulfilled for knowing this. ;)
19. Doctor J: "But do you really believe Heero Yuy would be pleased
if we buried his underpants?"
No, but I firmly believe Duo would have a field day. ;)
20. Duo: "P.S. Don't blame us if they run out of underpants."
Not what you said in the panty-raid last night, dear. ;)
21. Duo: "Out of my underpants!"
Heero's going to be very hurt. ;)
22. Abdul: "Yeah, we wouldn't want to return only to find out
there's no more underpants!"
23. Duo: "Hey, I know this; I know this style of underpants!"
You would, wouldn't you Duo? ;)
24. Wufei: "I'll gladly accept your underpants!"
Oh, so you'll accept other people's, but you won't send yours? Methinks someone's goin' commando!!!!! ;)
25. Treize: "He got out of the underpants to fight me, and I respect that."
My poor dear Treize!!!!!!!!! What did he fight you WITH??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!
26. Relena: "HeeroS is he a little underpants?"
Ask Heero, he's the one that said he's been an underpants since the day he was born. ;)
27. Quatre: "We can't avoid some underpants."
Especially when they're on sale. ;)
28. Abdul: "Please! Take underpants with you, Master Quatre!"
Yes please do Quatre, the rest of us don't want to see that!!!!!!! (Excluding Trowa and all those fangirls. ;)
29. Trowa: "Operation Underpants, it's what they called the
Gundams' descent to Earth."
Well, at least no one suspected it with a codename like that, did they? ;)
30. Duo: "I'm not about to have my underpants here used as a tool
for massacre."
Can't say that I blame you, m'dear. ;)
31. Duo: "If it meant peace for this colony, I'd be the God of
Underpants any day."
That's the spirit!!!!!!! ;)
32. Duo: "THE GOD OF UNDERPANTS IS BACK FROM HELL!"
And he's bringing all the missing pairs of underpants with him!!!!!!!
33. Trowa: "I have no underpantsS"
Quatre will be very happy to hear this. ;)
34. Trowa: "I was feeling insecure without underpants, I wouldn't
mind taking hisS"
Trowa!!!!! You bad boy you!!!!!! Stop taking lessons from Duo! ;)
35. Noin: "Sally, were you able to confirm any new types of
underpants in the last battle?"
Briefs? Check.
Bikinis? Check.
Thongs? Check.
CHAINMAIL?! ...uhh... check. O_o;;
36. Quatre: "Take care everyone; say 'hi' to the Goddess of Underpants!"
Now I know Duo has long hair and is a bishounen, but you really have no room to talk Quatre. ;)
37. Zechs: "I guess there still is a place for people who just
can't get used to underpants."
Yup, it's called a nudist colony, Zechs, m'boy. ;)
38. Zechs: "I find I cannot sleep in my underpants, while Treize's
spirit is still roaming among us."
Well, that confirms all the rumors about Zechs and Treize now, doesn't it? ;)
39. Dekim: "If you continue to insist on getting in our underpants,
we will drop X-18999 onto Earth!"
40. Wufei: "Now then Earth, show me your true idea of underpants."
You wouldn't know, would you Wufei? Going commando n' all... *WEG* ;)
41. Duo: "I'll give you my best underpants."
Awwwwwwwwwwww..... ;)
42. Wufei: "And I will become underpants itself to find out!"
Now Wufei, I know you don't know what the concept of underpants is. But aren't you taking this just a bit too far??? O_o
43. Sally: "You were kind enough to leave me plenty of good underpants."
Must've been Quatre, since he has the stash. ;)
44. Heero: "The more you fight, the more sacrifice for underpants
becomes a waste! You must have realized that!"
O_o
45. Wufei: "So are you saying that soldiers who know nothing but
how to fight get underpants?!"
46. Wufei: "I'm fighting on behalf of all underpants, including you!"
I give up. O_o
47. Noin: "Who are you waiting for?" Zechs: "For those who hope
for underpantsS"
Then you'd better go over and wait with Wufei! He's willing to fight for them. ;)
48. Noin: "Zechs, I told you a year ago that I'll never leave your
underpants."
Ouch... you must get very sore then. ;)
49. Duo: "Let's only take the underpants, and war itself, along
with us to Hell!"
50. Wufei: "This Treize, is my underpants."
Wuf, you know I'm all for you getting underpants, it's a relief from going commando. But stop the exhibitionism!!!!! Quatre wants to see them, not Treize!!!!!!!!!!! My poor, poor Treize... ;)
51. Heero: "I'll relieve you of your underpants."
Duo will be very happy to hear this. ;)
52. Duo: "Underpants are things other people give you, there's no
point wasting time worrying; the important thing's that we have a
place to call home."
Sweet sentiment... I think... O_o
53. (Contributed by Amalia R. James) Otto: "LONG LIVE KING UNDERPANTS!"
I see you finally held out long enough, didn't you Zech's?? Yaay!!!! ;)
54. (Contributed by SilverStargazer) Relena:
"UUUUUNDEEEEEERRRPAAAANTS! I am right over here, so come and kill
me!"
Heero must really hate being called Underpants. ;)
55. Wufei: "Those who have no underpants do not have the right to fight."
Well now that you have underpants, your just being a hypocrite, aren't you? ;)
56. Relena: "But how can fighting lead to underpants?" Doctor J:
"It leads directly to underpants."
What kind of fighting are they talking about?! O_o Whooooooolllllle new meaning of the word... O_o
57. Trowa: "Beast only bear their fangs at enemies, they're true to
their underpants."
I'd hope so. ;)
58. Catherine: "Mysterious underpantsS"
Yes, thongs usually are. M'dear. ;)
59. Heero: "Change in ordersS That craft is carrying OZ underpants."
Oz?! You mean, they have flying monkeys on them?! COOL!!!!!!!!!!! ;)
60. Sally: "Right now, healing your heart is more important that my
underpants."
Whew!!!! ;)
61. Duo: "The best mechanics in the world couldn't repair a suit
without underpants, not like you and your leg."
I thought tailors repaired suits... ;)
62. Zechs: "Father, my underpants are too stained with blood
(^_^''); I'm completely unfit to lead the Peacecraft monarchy."
Owwwwww... poor Zechs, what did they do to you?! O_o
63. Trowa: "If you must call me something, just call me 'underpants.'"
Hey now! That's Zech's title! Don't touch that! ;)
64. (Contributed by Sylver Secret) Quatre: "Did you hear what I
said? Don't get any closer to my underpants!" Trowa: "Quatre,
what's wrong? These aren't the underpants I know"
You'd know, woudn't you Trowa? ;)
65. (Contributed by Sylver Secret) Mariemeia: "Underpants are much
like an endless waltz..."
Dear, what kind of underpants are you talking about?!
66. (Contributed by Sylver Secret) Heero: "What's the matter Quatre?
Not an underpants person?"
Not according to Trowa. ;)
67. (Contributed by Sylver Secret) Quatre: "Are underpants needed in
a war?" Heero: "Not during the fighting but it is for the rest of
the time"
Again... WHOLE new meaning to fighting. O_o
68. (Contributed by Sylver Secret) Relena's Friends: "Come on
Relena, show us your pretty underpants!"
Relena has either very horny friends, or she's moonlighting as a stripper. ;)
69. (Contributed by Sylver Secret) Heero: "My underpants are cheap."
So take Duo to get you fitted... ;)
70. (Contributed by The Optimistic God of Death) Professor G: "Duo,
Deathscythe is an excellent piece of underpants, try to come up with
something better to do with it than destroy it."
Duo: But Heero's the one with the superhuman strength! It was his fault!
Heero: *blush* #^_^#
71. (Contributed by Saiyan Witch Cat) Duo: "Anyone who sees me has
got a date with his underpants."
Not only is he a horny devil, but he's over-confident too! ;)
72. (Contributed by Saiyan Witch Cat) Duo: "Well, looks like you're
the underpants here!"
And what form of role-playing might this be? ;)
73. (Contributed by Heero Fooie, corrected by me) Heero: "Judging
by its speed, there's probably three underpants on board."
O_o
74. Duo: "Hey lady! I just saved your underpants!"
Well you don't have to get cocky about it! (Ohhhhhhh dear....)
75. Duo: "He knows Gundanium's impact tolerance, which means--
He's the mobile suit's underpants!"
Again, I ask, what form of roleplaying might this be?! ;)
76. Duo: "This is Duo here, I've destroyed the main underpants.
Now I just have to slice my way outta this battle!"
OWWWWWW!!!!!!!!! Does that create painful mental imagery for anyone else? ;)
77. Trowa: "Now that you've seen me, I can't let you live. My
secret mission was to destroy only the underpants, now I'll destroy
everything!"
Now isn't that a little drastic Trowa? I swear I won't tell anyone the size of it! Honest!
78. Trowa: "This is battle 001, pilot's nameS'Underpants', for the record."
Stealing Zech's name is not going to make you fall into favor with him, m'dear. ;)
79. Toonami Narrator: "Battles are waged with underpants, the key
to military dominance."
jots down notes You don't say...
80. Toonami Narrator: "The only hope for the colonies: five elite
soldiers and their legendary mobile suits, known asS. Underpants."
If that be the case, I have several pair I'd be willing to lend them. ;)
81. Toonami Narrator: "Now, these pilots will shake the underpants
of the alliance, and change the course of history."
This brings to mind disturbing mental images of the whole GW cast doing a number to "Shake Your Booty". O_o
82. Wufei: "You saw I was underpants and you underestimated me."
Again, Wuf, with the fascination... O_o
83. Quatre: "You shouldn't be underpants at all!"
Quatre's right, especially since you seem so fascinated Wuf. (Hmmmm.... Underpants Anonymous? This is not healthy!)
84. Aries pilot killed by Quatre: "Come get me, you underpaaaaaaants!!"
Wow, this must be a really big insult. ;)
85. Heero: "Say 'underpants'."
It's not that funny Heero. ;)
86. Heero: "WHAT'S WRONG WITH UNDERPANTS?!"
Nothing, but if you insist on wearing rhumba panties, SOMEONE is going to talk. ;)
87. Some soldier dude: "Get all underpants ready for combat!"
Whoooooollle new meaning of combat. ;)
88. Narrator: "However, the United Earthsphere Alliance gains great
military powers, and soon seizes control of one colony after another;
in the name of justice, and underpants."
Yaaaaaaaaay!!!!!!!! ;)
89. Some satellite dude: "Moving underpants confirmed, at La Grange
point AX--"
Moving underpants? They're probably Duo's.
90. Some other satellite dude: "Zechs is in the underpants, let him
know what we've found."
Zechs is in Duo's underpants?! AAAAAAIIIIIIEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! Well no wonder he turned Heero down... ;)
91. Zechs: "I told you, I am a true underpants."
And now that we've clarified that...
92. Flight attendant: "Minister Dorlain, the shuttle will soon
enter the atmosphere. Please remember to fasten your underpants, and
remain seated."
He must be a member of the mile-high club. ;)
93. Minister Dorlain: "I'm sorry, but my underpants keep getting in the way."
When your in the mile-high club, I could see where they would. ;)
94. Heero: (sounding like he's about to cry) "I'm finally here, I
made it to the underpants."
I didn't know it meant that much to you! ;)
95. Zechs: "No, no underpants for him."
Really now Zechs? ;)
96. Zechs: "Besides, if it's underpants he wants, I should at least
give him my very best."
97. Zechs: "He blew away two underpants with just one shot, not too shabby."
The guy Zechs is talking about must be a complete and utter horndog! (Duo! I bet it's Duo!)
98. Zechs: "That reckless pilot won't have underpants."
You'd like that, wouldn't you Zechs? ;)
99. Zechs: "There's no bright future for soldiers scurrying for
their underpants."
Oh, pilots can go commando but soliders can't? Now that's just a bit hypocritical, isn't it? ;)
100. Relena: "I'd better get underpants!"
Yes Relena, you'd better. ;)
101. Zechs: "We were up against a mobile suit made of underpants."
Well, just... blow them away. *WEG* ;)
102. Treize: Can't imagine otherwise, the Alliance's underpants is
far from sufficient."
Well what'd you expect, Treize? A Chastity belt? ;)
103. Treize: "Valuable combat resources? Are you talking about our
soldiers, or are you talking about underpants?"
From what I've heard, is there really any difference? ;)
104. Treize: "The Alliance military is getting too complacent during
this time of underpants."
HUH?!
105. Quatre: "Give up your underpants and surrender, and I'll spare
your lives."
Quatre, I know you have a collection (and possibly an addiction) to feed, but this is ridiculous. ;)
106. Wufei: "My name's Underpants, I'm not hiding anywhere."
The lack of underpants in his life has finally driven Wufei over the edge. ;)
107. One of Relena's friends: "That guy doesn't need any underpants."
Relena!!!!!!!!! Geeze, and I thought Duo was the complete and utter horndog there. He's got competition! ;)
108. Relena: "What kind of underpants is he?"
Boxers? Briefs? We may never know. ;)
109. Some guy: "Hey Heero, I hear you ripped up Relena's underpants
yesterday."
Now I've heard of experimenting... but I honestly didn't know Relena liked it rough! ;) I hope Duo doesn't mind... O_o
110. Zechs: "First, all underpants must be eliminatedS"
Zechs?! I thought you were for underpants!!!!!!!!! What changed your mind??? Well, Wufei's descent into madness would change mine too...
111. Zechs: "Underpants plunging to Earth, it's the only way to
achieve total pacifism!"
I think you've gone the way of Wufei... dear Lord. ;)
112. Lady Une: "I am like a body that has lost its underpantsS"
That's an interesting way to describe emotions... ;)
113. Relena: "Let's put an end to all of this, the underpants and
the battles."
Can we say threesome??? And at least now we know how Relena's undies got ripped up. ;)
114. Howard: "If those two underpants hit ground, the entire world
will be affected!"
Not quite what Zechs said! ;) Then again, we need to lock him up, just like ol' Wuf.
115. Trowa: "I've continually fought, and with each battle I've been
killing my own underpants."
Can we say ouch?!
116. Trowa: "Maybe my life doesn't have underpants anymore, but I
have to keep on living."
Trowa's going commando now?! Oh God... O_o
117. Duo: "Okay, when we're done here, we'll celebrate with some
expensive underpants!"
Good! Be sure to take Heero shopping, while your at it! ;)
118. Lady Une: "This isn't an order, it's a favor, as a fellow
believer of underpants."
That's not what you said before... but okay! ;)
119. Lady Une: "This year, in After Colony 195, the history of
underpants is finally about to come to an end."
Contradictory much Lady Une? ;)
120. Lady Une: "This battle is making each of us look for a solution
to secure underpants."
Guy must not be very good then, if you have to find a reason for him not to get inside. ;)
121. Heero: "You're the same as Treize, claiming to fight for peace
to protect the underpants."
Did Treize say anything about that?! Methinks Heero's drunk. ;)
122. Zechs: "It's the stronger who create the underpants!"
Well let's hope so. That'll prevent rips and tears. ;)
123. Heero: "You're underpants, Zechs."
That's only his codename you jackass. ;)
124. Zechs: "Not underpants."
Right. ;)
125. Zechs: "My underpants are smeared with blood, and I won't be
talked out of this transgression!"
Zechs, you poor baby you!!!!! :(
126. Heero: "Relena would be underpants."
Not even going to ASK what type of roleplaying... O_o
127. Quatre: "We'd better get out of here, cause we don't want to
get in Heero's underpants!"
No, because that's Duo's job. ;)
128. Heero: "UNDERPANTS WILL SURVIVE!"
Well let's hope so! ;)
129. (Contributed by Anika) Duo: "Just watch me I will become the
God of Death once again! But right now, I need some underpants..."
Man, people around here do a lot of roleplaying in the bedroom, don't they? ;)
130. Quatre: "Are youSare you telling me to get underpants?"
Well Quatre, the orgy's over, what do you expect? ;)
131. Duo: "As they say, 'evil attracts underpants.'"
I have to remember this. ;)
132. Treize: "The emotions of those who are thought to be underpants
are always filled with sorrow."
Well if people thought my only job was to be wrapped around someone's ass, I'd be filled with sorrow too!
133. Wufei: "NO WAY! Underpants want to keep fighting!"
As Wufei sinks deeper into madness... ;)
134. Quatre: "They're violent and dangerous, but they're all really
nice underpants."
Quatre... tell me you didn't opt for the "muskrat thong" they were offering. ;)
135. Quatre: "And if Underpants refuse?"
Then I guess we'll just have to resort to other measures of getting them off, won't we? ;)
136. Quatre: "Underpants up! And no funny stuff!"
You really must not've liked what you saw. ;)
137. Trowa: "I will correct the mistakes brought on by your underpants."
And let's hope that doesn't include the Lorena Bobbit way of solving things!
138. Trowa: "Without underpants we cannot fight."
That's not what Heero said!
139. Trowa: "You're underpants, you really are."
Trowa... are you okay? ;)
140. Duo: "Why don't you just give up and stop pretending to be underpants?"
I'd be tired of that style of role-playing too Duo... don't worry. ;)
141. Trowa: "Or should I be following your underpants?"
Any way my dick points, 'eh Trowa? ;)
142. Heero: "I was counting on those underpants right from the beginning."
Well I would be too if I had to count on a Laundromat in hell to wash them. ;)
143. Duo: "This time, try to use your underpants a little bit."
Duo, WHO are you coming on to? ;)
144. Dorothy: "You musn't fear underpantsS"
She said to Wufei as he backed away in fear. "I'll go commando 'till the day I die!!!!!" he screamed... ;)
145. Dorothy: "You're going to spoil this beautiful view of
the underpants?"
Dorothy!!!!!!!!! You horny devil you!!!!!!!!!! ;)