A/N: Ok, so I just spit this out so it probably has a zillion mistakes. But I like it and I wanted to update. So Mark isn't going home this chapter, but he will be next. I'm glad a lot of you are excited about that. Please review this section, cause seriously, the speediness of my writing is dependent on my reviews.

Oh yeah… not my characters. Jonathan Larson created them.

I must have fallen asleep, because Joanne walking around the apartment wakes me up. I sit up slowly and look around, my head pounding. It takes me a moment to remember where I am, and why I am here. Then I look over at Joanne, and the memory of my talk with Maureen resurfaces. I look over at the couch where Mimi and Roger lie wrapped in each other's arms and my head does one last harsh pound. I lie back down and cover my head with the pillow, trying to convince myself the whole thing was a dream.

But it wasn't.

I sit up again and push myself off the ground. I hear the sound of coffee percolating before the smell hits me. I go over to the kitchen and sit down on one of the stools by the counter. The kitchen is actually very large considering the size of the apartment. Joanne is fixing herself lunch, her braided hair tied in a tight knot. Her designer suit probably cost more than my entire wardrobe, but yet it doesn't bother me the way Benny's trendy attire does.

"Good morning Jo." I speak to her back, and she shakes like I startled her.

"Mark, hey, good morning. I almost forgot you were here." She pours herself a cup of coffee. "Was I too loud?"

"No, you were fine, I just woke up… you know strange place."

She nods, and holds up her cup. "Want some?"

"Sure, thanks." She drinks her coffee black and slides a full mug to me. I search around for some sugar or cream, but do not find any, so I barely sip at the mug.

"Look, Mark, can I talk to you for a second?"

I look up at her, one glance at her expression and I know Maureen told her everything. "Joanne, I can explain."

She holds up her hand, "No need, Maureen explained everything. She kissed you, she told you that she was in love with you. That IS what you were going to say, right?"

"Isn't that leading the witness?" I ask timidly.

She doesn't even respond, just continues where she left off. "Look, it kind of relieves me actually. I mean, I always wondered how she could so easily shut off her feelings for you. Especially YOU. You are so smart and funny and cute…"

"Uh, Joanne?"

"Just listen. I figured, you are like the perfect boyfriend for a girl. So yeah, when she and I met, she was quote on quote, over you." She pantomimes quotations with her fingers, "I always wondered why. Seriously Mark, if I wasn't gay, I would go for you."

"Uh…"

"But the thing is, I just excepted that she came to terms with her sexuality and who she is. So I tried not to question it. Part of me always felt that her heart must be pretty damn cold to completely shut you out of it. So, now I know. I know that my Honeybear is capable and able to love." She puts down the coffee mug hard on the table. "Now, you just have to stay away from her."

"What?" I look up at her wide-eyed. "Joanne, there is nothing going on with Mau…"

"I know. But you both still love each other. And she and I love each other. And I love you too Mark, in a different way of course. I just think it would be best if you didn't stay here again, and just stay away for awhile."

The sincerity of her words, the look on her face, I can actually see she is jealous. "No, you got it wrong. I'm over her."

"Yeah, right. You don't "get over" Maureen." Again with the fake quotation marks. "I'm not trying to be a bitch, I just have to do what is right for me. Please don't hate me."

"I don't hate you. I just wish I could convince you that there is nothing to worry about."

She carries her empty mug to the sink and starts to wash it. "Just for a little while, ok? So she and I can figure things out?" She throws the dishtowel on the counter and I see a glimmer of tears in her eyes. "Please, Mark? She doesn't know what she wants anymore." She looks away from me, "She doesn't know if she wants me."
"Joanne," I walk over to her and pull her in for a hug and rub the wool fabric of her jacket. "You know what she is like. Every time she cheated on me, she had to figure out what she wanted. It used to piss me off. Here she did something wrong, and before I can make a decision about our future, she tells me she needs time away to figure things out.."

Joanne pulls back nodding, "Yeah, that is exactly what she did."

"See, it is just her way of taking control of the situation. By the time she is "ready" to talk," now I gesture the quotation marks, "you will have missed her so much that you are willing to forget everything." I take a deep breath and one of Joanne's hands.

"That bitch… she can't do that to me."

I smile at Joanne, "Look, I decided last night to go home for awhile anyway. So I won't be around. When I get back, I'll check in with you before I see her. You can let me know what the update is, ok?"

"Yeah, sounds good." She smiles and wipes the last of the tears. "You're going home to Scarsdale?" I concur, still debating if it is a good idea or not. "Are you sure? Maureen has told me about your family, especially about your dad."

I shrug, a little pissed. Maureen and Roger are the only ones who know about my dad, and I can't believe that Maureen told Joanne. But then, what else do I expect from her? "It will be fine." I rub the back of my neck looking down, "Is it ok if I leave a bunch of stuff here? I really don't want to carry it back and forth."

She hugs me, "Of course. Look sweetie, I got to go." She kisses my cheek. "Call me, ok?" Before I can respond she grabs her briefcase and is out the door.

Before I allow myself to think, dwell or change my mind, I go take a quick shower. I enjoy the clean towels and fancy shampoo and soaps in the small, but bright bathroom. No wonder Maureen left in a hurry. I open up their medicine cabinet and search for some hair gel, but the sight of a bottle lubricant makes me shut the door quickly. I dry off and get dressed in the same clothes as yesterday, defeating the purpose of the shower.

I walk out and I am surprised to find Roger, upright and rubbing his eyes. I sigh, I was hoping for a clean getaway. "Morning, Roger." I go over to my pile of belongings and start sorting through what I want to take with me, and what can stay here.

"Morning. What are you doing?"

"Organizing my life." I sit cross-legged on the floor as I sift through the bag of film reels and pictures, debating if I will actually do work in Scarsdale.

"Organize? Do you know the meaning of that word?" I hear him shuffle and his steps toward the kitchen. He picks up the percolator and finds it still pretty full. He congratulates himself as he grabs a mug.

"Haha, very funny. I'm trying to decide what to bring with me." I don't permit myself to look towards him. I don't want to know what he is feeling, if anything at all. I don't want to dwell on anything. It was a stupid game, I remind myself. It was an accident and a stupid game. He must know that, why don't I?

"Why where are you going?" I hear him take a sip of coffee and then swear as he burns his mouth.

"Home. I told you last night."

"Mark, do I have to remind you? Benny… Mr. Gray… the building being destroyed…"

"I meant home to Scarsdale."

Coffee comes flying out of his mouth in shock. "What?"

"I just told you, I'm going home to Scarsdale."

"The hell you are!" His voice is getting loud and I automatically look over to Mimi who is still sleeping soundly on the couch.

"Shh… be quiet, Mimi." I nod in her direction.

He lunges towards me, "What the fuck do you mean you are going to Scarsdale?"

I know what he is getting at, but I pretend I don't. "I mean, I am going to go to Port Authority, get on a bus and go visit my mom and my sister."

"What about your dad?"

I shrug, I honestly haven't thought about it.

"Mark, what about you dad?"

"I don't know. Maybe."

"Fuck this shit." He grabs my bag from my hands. "You aren't going anywhere."

"Roger, last I knew, I was able to make my own decisions."

"Do you want me to remind you why you left? Why you haven't been back in…" He stops to count, "Six years?"

"No, I know why." I stand up and reach for my bag, but he pulls it away.

"Mark, I will not let you go there."

"Give me my bag."

"No."

"GIVE ME MY BAG!"

"NO!"
"Oh Christ, this is ridiculous." I grab another bag and start filling it with clothes, "I don't need your fucking permission to go home."

"That isn't your home." I have my back to him, so I don't see his face. But the words he speaks sound desperate and honest. I quickly look to him. He straightens up, "Uh, you know what I mean."

"Look, why don't we just say what this is really about?" I stand up, grabbing my camera, pretending to inspect it, but really I'm waiting for his response.

"What are you talking about?"

"Last night. The kiss."

"Uh, there is nothing to talk about, it was a game, remember?"

"Yeah, I know, I just…" I'm not going to be the one to say it. Not if he really thinks it didn't matter. "Never mind."

He hands me my bag, practically throwing it into my chest. "Look, I'm sorry." I don't know what part he is apologizing for. For kissing me, acting like it didn't mean anything, for taking my bag… or for just everything in general.

"It's ok." I walk towards the door, my packed personal belongings and my camera in my hands. "I'll be back soon. Just need to get away."

He nods and goes to hug me. I can't return the hug without jeopardizing the perfect balance I have with my luggage. He pulls back, "Look, call me in you need anything. Someone to bitch to, a ride home or anything."

"Sure, no problem, except you don't have a phone… or a car for that matter."
He grins at me, that boyish grin that he saves only for me and Mimi. "You'll find me." He rubs my hair and opens the door for me.

I walk out onto the street and have to stop to reposition my belongings. I stand on the stoop long enough to hear Roger yell from the window for me to wait. I remain still and he comes running out the door.

"Here." He hands me a bunch of crumpled bills.

"Where did you…?" I look at the money, there has to be about one hundred dollars here.
"Don't worry about it. Just be safe ok?"

I nod.

He looks down, but his eyes are looking at me. "Look, I uh… I know what happened yesterday didn't not mean anything."

I nod again. I repeat his words, trying to sort out the double negatives and figure out what he is saying.

"I mean, I know it meant something. I just don't know what it meant." He doesn't look at me again and he turns back to the door. I am left standing, facing where he just was. He is about to go inside but he stops again, "I'm just afraid I liked it." With that he disappears and the door shuts loudly behind him.


Ack! What will happen??? I know! Well, actually I kind of know. Please let me know if you like what I am doing, if you hate it. Is the dialogue ok? Are they in character??? All that stuff. Joanne is a little hard for me, how did I do?