A/N: Here is the latest and greatest chapter. It is pure Mark and Roger, which are my favorite to write because they are the most easy for me. I hope you all are still enjoying it. There won't be an update for a little while because I'm going away this weekend, to see Jim's show and then the city to see Chad… uh, I mean Rent.
I rush out of the house, explaining little to my
mother. On the way out of the door I
mention that I was going to pick up Roger and then walk out before any of her
questions could be answered.
I take my time driving, savoring my last few 'Roger-free'
moments. It has only been two days, but
I somehow feel different. A little more
confident; a lot stronger. I conquered
my dad. I faced the demon that has been
peering over me for years and chased it away. I wonder if Roger will even notice.
I turn into the bus station, and notice the lone figure
sitting on the sidewalk stand when it spots the headlights. I pull in front of him, lean over and unlock
the passenger side door. He casually
throws his few belongings, the guitar case, and a duffle bag, which I don't
recognize, in the backseat, and sits down. We don't speak for a few minutes.
"You hungry?" I finally say.
"Yeah, I could eat."
"Ok, then, there's a Denny's down the street, let's go
there." He nods and leans his head
against the glass of the window.
I pull into the Denny's and we go inside and the waitress
asks us 'smoking or non-smoking' and I'm about to answer and Roger spits out,
"Smoking." I look at him confused.
We are shown to our booth (more like it was pointed out
to us) and as soon as we sit, he lights a cigarette.
"Well this is new."
"I don't want to hear it, Mark," he sternly responds.
"OK, fine." I
pick up a sugar packet and start playing with it. "So what happened?"
He blows out a thin line of smoke and sighs deeply. "It just isn't the same, hasn't been for a
long time."
"What do you mean?"
"We fight constantly. You know that. I was sleeping in
the loft more than with downstairs with her." I nod. "It just got to a point
where it was easier to stay together than to break up."
"Well, what caused you to finally realize it?"
He shrugs as he flicks his ashes into the ashtray. "Long story."
I sit back against the booth, "We have all night."
"Ok, Maureen said we could stay with them as long as we
needed to. So last night, Mimi had to
work, and I was left alone in the apartment with her and Joanne. Well they were fighting, screaming really
loud." He looks at me strangely,
"Something about you actually. Care to
explain?" I wave him off and he
continues, "So I had enough of listening to them fight, and I wasn't in the
best mood to begin with, so I took off to visit Mimi at work."
"Oh no." I can
see where this is going.
"Yeah, exactly." He inhales deeply on the cigarette. "So I get there, and I'll give you one guess who else was there."
"Our former landlord?" He nods as he pounds the butt into the ashtray. "OK, so what, he was there, you know he
hangs out there."
He looks up at me, "She was dancing in front of him."
"Roger, that is her job." I try and gently remind him.
"Yeah, I know, but," He looks at me, "You just had to see
it for yourself." He laughs, "So guess
what I did?"
"Beat the shit out of him?"
"Not exactly." He laughs and points to his
face. I guess I haven't really looked
at him yet, because I finally notice that his cheek is bruised and swollen.
"Shit,
did Benny do that?"
"Not
exactly," he repeats.
"Uh…
ok, who then?"
He
pulls out another cigarette. "Mimi."
I stare
at him, a sound something caught between and gasp and a laugh escapes my
mouth.
He nods, and lights his cigarette. "Yeah."
"Ok, go on."
"Well, I go in and I see Benny sitting at a table by
himself. I push aside my anger and
jealousy," his expression changes for a minute, "A big step for me, I may add,"
I nod in agreement, "Anyway, I decide to sit down at the table with him."
"No shit, what did he do?" The waitress comes over with two mugs and fills them with coffee,
even though neither of us ordered it. She shoves two menus at us, but neither of us looks at them.
"He stood up and shook my hand. I told him I was sorry to hear about him and Alison, and he
apologized about the loft."
"That doesn't sound too bad."
"No, it wasn't." He glances down at the menu, purposely trying to add suspense to the
story. It works.
"Ok, what happened then?"
"What? Oh…" He grins, enjoying himself. Typical Roger. "So there's Mimi, dancing right in front of our table, she sees
me and starts to freak out. I'm not
sure why. I just sort of wave to say hi
and she runs off the stage."
"Weird."
"Yeah. That's
what I thought." He exhales and blows
the smoke in my face. I wave it away.
"Thanks." I roll
my eyes.
"Sorry. I just
needed them today."
I nod, "Last pack though, right?"
"Do you want to hear this story or not?"
The waitress comes back to take our orders. I'm suddenly starved and I realized that I
never ate at the country club. We both
order burgers and she leaves again.
"Ok, so Mimi runs off stage and I look at Benny and ask
him what's up. And he just shrugs, but
he gets this half grin on his face, you know the one? The one where he knows something you don't?"
"Yeah, I know exactly what you are talking about."
"So yeah, he grins and I ask him again, what is up with
Mimi, and he says I should ask her myself. So I repeat to him the question, and he tells me that she is just
upset. I ask him how he knows, and he
says she told him. I asked when, and he
said 'whenever'.
"Whenever?"
"Yeah, whenever. So I asked him what he meant by that and he says something about every
time I run back to you in the loft, she calls him and cries to him about what a
bastard I am."
"She does?"
"Yeah, so now I'm really pissed. I get up and step on the stage and go
backstage. This bouncer guy tries to
stop me, but Mimi sees me and yells to him in Spanish and he leaves me
alone." He puts out the cigarette and
the waitress brings us our burgers. "So
I go up to her and before I can say a word, she starts screaming at me."
I start picking at my fries, "What was she screaming
about?"
"Something about me checking up on her and that I don't
trust her. She said I should know by
now that she isn't fucking Benny and I'm the one that can't be trusted."
"You? You haven't
cheated on her, have you?"
"No, and that is what I told her. I yelled back that I just wanted to get out
of the apartment and visit her at work, and that I knew about the phone calls
to Benny. So she said something about
how I had you to lean on, and run away to, and she had no one. She said that Benny was a good friend and
that was it."
"So, do you finally believe her?"
"Uh, not exactly, I called her a whore and that's when
she hit me."
"Nice job, Roger."
"Look, I'm not proud, I was angry. We were yelling at each other, and I got
mad, it just came out."
"So is that how it ended?"
"No, she started crying and I sat her down, and we talked
a little more rationally. She said we
keep having the same fight over and over and that I was obviously never going
to trust her. I told her that it was
hard for me to trust people. And she
pointed out that I trusted you."
"Well, it is different with us."
"That is what I said, but she said that she knew that I
loved you more than I could ever love her. That was why I always ran back to you."
"No, you went back to the loft, because that was where
your stuff and your bed was. You kept in there for when you just wanted to get
away."
"Mark, if I only wanted to get away from Mimi, I wouldn't
go two flights upstairs."
"Yeah, but…" And then I got what he was saying. He was admitting what Mimi had said was
true.
"So we decided that it was better if we stopped seeing
each other. The thing is, this wasn't
like our other break ups. We weren't
screaming at this point. We were both
calm and we decided. It really is
over."
"Are you ok?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. I still love her, a part of me always will, but we just aren't meant for
each other, you know?"
"Yeah, I know." I
take a deep breath and push my plate away.
"So what about you? Have you seen your dad?"
I nod, and smile. "Yeah, I sort of told him off tonight."
"No shit, what happened?" I rehash the events of earlier this evening, which already seems
so far away and distant. This is what I
mean, the two different worlds. Each
world can almost make me forget about the other. Roger gets excited as I droll out the story. He starts banging on the table and actually
cheers for me when I'm done.
He
tells me how proud he is of me.
That
strikes me. I don't think he has ever
said that before. All I ever wanted was
to hear those words from my father, but hearing them from Roger is one hundred
times better. I respect and care and
love Roger so much more. Love, shit,
there is that word again. I try and
push it away.
Suddenly,
he shifts gears and gets serious again. "I'm sorry that I just showed up here. I didn't know where else to go."
"You
don't need to apologize."
"Yeah,
well, I guess I'm just proving Mimi, right."
"So?"
"So,
what if everything she said was right?"
"Like
what?"
"Like
that I'm in love with you." He
concentrates swirling his french fry in the pile of ketchup on his plate. I watch him for a few moments, not sure if I
should respond to that.
I
take the easy way out; I change the subject. "So are you ready to go meet my mother?"
"Hell
yeah." He takes out a wad of money and
throws it on the table.
"Where
did you get that?"
"Don't
ask." That is what he said to me
yesterday too.
We
walk out of the restaurant, "I'm asking, where is this sudden cash flow coming
from?"
"Nowhere,
the band has been playing a lot."
I
know that isn't true, but I drop it. We
get into the car and start towards my house. Each street the houses get bigger and more luxurious. We pull into my neighborhood and Roger
starts cracking up. He tells me that my
father was right, that I was stupid for giving this up to live in a crappy loft
in the East Village. I know he is only
joking and we laugh as I pull in the driveway, and into the garage.
I
open the car door and I'm about to step out, but he grabs my arm and stops me.
"Wait,
before we go in. What I said before,
well what Mimi said, are you freaked out?"
YES!
But I don't say it, "No."
"Really? Cause I am?"
I
smile, "Ok, yeah I am a little."
"Look,
please don't let this change anything. You are my best friend, I don't want you to feel like anything is
different."
"How
do you want me to feel?" Very rarely
does Roger show me this side of him. He
looks at me, with pure vulnerability.
"I
guess, I want you to feel the same way." I nod staring straight ahead. "But if you don't, I understand. I know this whole this is weird." I remain silent for a few more seconds, and his voice changes to harsh
embarrassment. "Look, forget I said
anything, ok? This conversation never
happened."
He
opens his door, and this time I grab his arm. I pull him towards me and I bring my face to his. He grasps the back of my neck and draws me
closer and we kiss each other. This
time, it isn't an accident, it isn't a game, it is real, and it scares me,
because it is real.
How the heck did this turn
into a slash fic? I swear, I had no
intentions of this. Blame Kait, and
her evil mind control and spork toting posse. Please review and tell me what you think. I… uh… sort of now have an ending in mind, but I'm not sure how
I'm going to get there. Ok, scroll down
and review now! Oh, and send me
Chadvibes for Saturday.
