A/N – WARNING! WARNING! I have contracted a servere case of angst, the symptoms shown in this fic are suicide, tortured Tai's and just a general sense of darkness! Voting on couples is still open so cast your vote in a review, there are a few lickle hints in here but most of them are subtle! Enjoy!
"Hello? Can anybody here me? Hello?"
Taichi Kamiya stood in the
darkness. The blackness that surrounded
him was so total and complete that he wondered if he had gone blind. A primal, almost childish, fear of the dark
threatened to overpower him, but he fought it, refusing to become a trembling
infant lost in the dark. "H . . .hello?"
he called again, once more receiving no answer. A shiver race up his spine and the back of his neck tingled like
it did when he was being watched.
"Ba . . .y! Yo . . .st be pun . . .ed!"
". . .ur fri . . .s le . . .alo . . .
in the . . .rk . . .ey d . . .ca . . !"
"Y. . .a . . .n't ne. . .ed . . .ny .
. .re!"
Tai wrapped his arms around himself as
the whispers surrounded him. /What's
happening?/ He thought frantically as his eyes strained against the darkness.
"Who are you?" Tai screamed. The only answer the voices gave him was to
grow louder until Tai was forced to cover his ears in an attempt to ease the
pain. "I don't understand!" Tai's head started spinning wildly and the
darkness was broken by bright swirls of light that danced in front of his
eyes. The voices around him began to
scream at the same time that Tai did. /Someone help me . . ./
* * *
"Tai! Wake up!"
The voice of his younger sister
filtered through the blackness of the void to gently brush his
consciousness. Tai's dark lashes
fluttered against his tanned cheeks, then opened to reveal dazed brown eyes.
"Kari?" Tai asked, struggling to get
his eyes to focus. "What happened? Is everyone alright?" his eyes flickered quickly across the
group. Kari, T.K., Sora, Yolei and Cody
were all looking at Tai closely, concern shining in their eyes. Matt stood slightly behind them watching
calmly as Joe quickly checked Tai's vitals. Davis stood aside and Tai was surprised to see a look of anger settle on
his features. Tai stood up, ignoring
both Joe's protests and the wave of black pain that washed over him. "Davis? You okay?"
Davis rounded quickly on Tai, the
younger boys eyes full of fury and what Tai though might have been a hint of
fear.
"What the hell did you do that!?" Davis demanded, his eyes blazing. Tai took a step backwards, shocked at his
reaction. "I can take care of myself
you know! You're not the leader anymore
Tai!" Davis yelled, his anger at
himself and fear at what might have happened making his words cruel. "You aren't needed anymore!" With a frustrated snarl Davis turned and
stalked away, Veemon scampering after him.
A cold chill wrapped around Tai's
spine as a strange feeling of familiarity washed over him. /I'm not needed./ the thought echoed in his mind, burying its way into his
psyche. Seeing the eyes of the others
upon him Tai quickly shook himself out of thought. He covered his hurt and
discomfort quickly, like he always did, plastering a fake grin onto his face.
"Geez, what crawled up his nose?" Tai joked, careful to keep his words light
as another wave of pain broke over him.
"Someone should go after him,"
remarked Sora, worry present in her voice.
"I'll go!" volunteered Yolei brightly,
before heading in the direction Davis had taken. "Lets go Hawkmon!" Tai
watched her go then studied the clearing slowly, realisation dawning on him.
"Hey! What happened to the bogus digimon?" he asked of no one in particular.
"She took off right after you were
hit, we didn't see where she went," Kari remarked, studying her brothers face
carefully. "Are you okay?" she asked
quietly. Tai flashed a cheerful grin in
her direction and replied easily.
"I'm fine!"
* * *
"Davis! Hey, wait up!" Yolei's yelled as she chase after the goggle headed boy. She caught up with him gasping for breath. "You okay?" she asked when she had finally regained her composure.
"I'm alright," Davis sighed. He looked up at the dark spire which loomed above them like an ill omen. "Its just . . .Tai . . .all of them, the older Digidestined, they always try to protect us. Haven't you noticed?" Davis asked, then sighed again; Yolei frowned at him in confusion.
"Yeah, of course I have, but its only 'cus they care. You didn't have to go all postal on Tai, he did save your life you know?"
"I know. . ." Davis relented. "I guess I just freaked out . . .but I have
a point, Tai isn't the leader anymore and he can't keep acting like he is!"
Davis shook himself out of his little rant and turned his attention to the
spire. "Hey Veemon? Feel up to digvolving again?" The small blue digimon nodded furiously and
quickly the familiar call of armour digvolving echoed across the digital world.
* * *
Taichi's head whipped around as a crashing sound filled the air, his eyes focused on the dust cloud that had been one of the emperors dark spirals.
"Hey guys!" Sora shouted to get
everyone's attention. "Yolei sent me an email; she and Davis are going to head
back to the real world. I guess we
should go to!" she cast a glance at Tai to see if he agreed, he nodded his head
sharply at her.
"Lets go!"
* * *
Tai shivered as once again he
found himself alone in the
darkness. Fear welled up inside him,
but this time he was expecting it and it was easier to ward off. He shove his fear to one side of his mind
and strained his ears as the voices began again.
". . .ur fri . . .s le . . .alo . . .
in the . . .rk . . .ey d . . .ca . . !"
"Y. . .a . . .n't ne. . .ed . . .ny .
. .re!"
"I can't understand you!" Tai cried
out in a desperate attempt to get a reaction from the mysterious voices. To his utmost surprise the voice suddenly
became clear and he found himself longing for the incoherent whispers to
return. Tai pressed his hands to his
ears trying in vain to block out the harsh accusations and observations he had
often made himself.
"Crest of Courage, it's a joke, you
are nothing but a pathetic coward!"
Your friends don't care about
you! They left you alone!"
"You aren't needed!"
"You aren't wanted!"
"You should end it."
* * *
"Davis wait!" Yamato yelled as he ran towards the younger boy. It had been about an hour since they had returned to the real world. Davis and Yolei had already left by the time they returned. Tai had left straight away, muttering something about soccer practise. Kari and T.K. had left together, Sora had to go mind the flower shop and Joe had to study. Matt decided to search for Davis and have it out with him. Matt knew Tai's feelings and been hurt even though he had done his best to hide it. He finally spotted Davis walking in the direction of the park. "Hey! Wait up!"
Davis sighed, he had known that one of
the older kids would come after him. He
stopped and waited for the blond too reach him.
"We have to talk!" Matt said firmly, his icy blue eyes bored
into Davis' dark ones. Davis opened his
mouth to respond but was cut off by the angry musician. "What the hell is up with you?" Matt asked
furiously, but continued before the other boy could even begin to think of an
answer. "Tai saved your life and in
return you have a go at him! Is it me
or is that just not right?!" Matt took
a breath, fully intending to continue on his little rant, but Davis saw the
opportunity and seized it.
"I know!" he exclaimed, suddenly
unable to meet Matt's eyes, he focused on the pavement. "I over reacted . . .I'm sorry . . ."
Matt blinked, surprised by Davis'
admission. His expression softened as
he looked at the younger boy.
"I'm not the one you should be
apologising to . . ." Matt let his voice trail off and shot Davis a meaningful
look. "Cya around Davis,"
The goggle headed boy watched Matt's
retreating form and set his jaw in determination. /Matt's right, / he thought
firmly. /I have to apologise to Tai. /
* * *
"You should end it."
Tai jerked awake with a start. That single sentence carried a promise of
release and oblivion that was almost to enticing for him to deal with.
" . . .end it."
The voice echoed through his conscious
mind once again and his body began to shake as he fought against temptation.
"End it."
This time the voice was no longer
suggesting, teasing, coaxing Tai into suicide. It was ordering him to do it. A
lone tear of helplessness escaped from a warm brown eye and trickled slowly
down his cheek, carving a path to his chin, where it fell into an oblivion that
Tai was soon to join.
No!" Tai's protest was loud and passionate, but there was nobody home to hear
it. Even before the final cry of
defiance had left his lips Tai felt his legs begin to move. He became a prisoner behind chocolate eyes
as his body move of its own accord. He
entered the bathroom and looked on in horror as his right hand picked up one of
his dads razor blades and placed it delicately over his left wrist.
/NO! Someone help me! / A thousand desperate thoughts flashed through his
mind and none of them did anything to stop the shiny sliver blade become
stained with red. Blood flowed freely
from his left wrist and seconds later it cascaded from his right wrist too.
Tai braced himself for pain which
never reached him. He didn't feel the
sting of the blade slicing through his skin, or the light-headedness of blood
loss, or his body hit the floor and his head smack against the side of the
bath.
Fear and defiance leaked from him like
his blood and left him pleasantly numb. The voices were right, he wasn't needed, he didn't have a purpose. The only place he truly belonged was the
void. As darkness slid over his vision
Tai made no attempt to fight it. Taichi
Kamiya's world faded to black.
To
be continued . . .
Thank yous:
Kousei – Thank you! ^_^ A lot of people want to see Taiora so it might just be in the cards, you'll have to wait and see!
2x1 forever – Happy now? I continued! And I'm going to again, I am going to finish this fic! U can hold me to that!
Taichi – Hehe, me too! I live to torture Tai!
The Pryoprincess – I'm glad you think so! There are a few Dalei/Daiyako hints in here, but there will also be a simdge of Davis/Kari.
V.A. – Thanks for reviewing, I hope you llike this chapter too!
Tai's_sweet_gal – Yamachi/Taito is my absolute fave Digimon paring, but I'm not sure if I can write it!
Becci 'D' – Hehe, another one 4 Yamachi, welllllll, I might do it, I'm not sure yet! Thanx 4 the review!
Kaden – Thanx for putting this up on your site! But you are not going to see a Sorato, sorry! I just don't like that coupling, although it makes for good Tai angst! ^_^
NOuSe4AnAme – Thanks 4 reviewing!
Digidestined of Courage – Hmm, another Taiora supporter, well it might end up being a Taiora. I'm not sure myself whats gonna happen next! I do know this much, there will be some Takari in the next chapter!
Shadow of a Rose – Thank you! ^_^ This is turning into a Taiora convention!
Lipaja007 – A fellow Sorato hater! Yay!
Melinda – Thank you and your welcome! Are you sure? I could have sworn Gatomon was a champion digimon!
Dragonee – Aww, thank you! You will see this finished . . .I hope! ^_^
Renegade – Thank you! And thanx for the corrections, I'll sort them out! I'm sorry I didn't ait 4 you to beta read this for me but I just couldn't wait to put it up! I'll modify it if there are any corrections needed! ^_^;;
Kuroi Shi – Thanks for your comments and for looking over this chapter for me!