For the Love of a Child
by Star Kindler
Chapter Five
Disclaimer: I don't own GW, never have and never will…
Author's Note: *ugh* Writer's block is really frustrating… Anyway, sorry it's taken so long to get this chapter out. I just have not been motivated to write anything.
Warnings: Yaoi, slight angst
***
1:43 a.m.
That's what the clock on my car radio said. I had been driving for hours, not anywhere in particular of course, just around the city. I was so upset with Duo; I just did not feel like facing him right now. Honestly, I believed I had every right in the world to be upset, I mean who wouldn't be? As much as I loved Duo, I couldn't honestly say I loved him enough to accept this kid. He had betrayed me; damn it, the least he could have done was tell me he had a daughter. I don't know if our relationship would have gotten as far as it has if I would have known, but at least he would have been honest with me. Humph. Now he expects me to help him. I don't have to; it's not my kid.
The roads were empty; I suppose at this uncivilized hour, that made sense. I was getting so tired, I knew if I continued I would probably fall asleep at the wheel. I also needed to go to work in the morning, but I didn't want to go back and face Duo…not at all. He had hurt me too damn much. I couldn't believe it; there were actually tears forming in my eyes. Why was I so hurt? Was it the fact that Duo failed to mention Ayanna's existence to me? Or was it because our relationship was shattering because of it? That's it, my emotions were getting the best of me; I had to stop somewhere. Off to the side of the road, I saw a glowing neon sign stand in front of a large two-story building lined with rooms. The words 'Motel' and 'Vacancy' blinked on and off in a bright yellow. Sighing, I decided to stay there for the night. Turning into the almost empty parking lot, I thought of what Duo's reactions would be when he found that I was not home in the morning. I knew he would be hurt, but I was angry and just didn't care. But if that was the truth, then why could I feel a single tear trail down my cheek?
***
I woke up that next morning feeling rather groggy. For some reason I was lying on the couch, which was very unusual in itself. But as I sat up, the events of the previous evening flooded in my mind. Suddenly I could still hear the anger and hurt in Heero's voice as he walked out the door.
Heero.
It's morning; he had to have been home! I just had to talk to him. Standing up I ran back to our bedroom, but much to my dismay he was not there – our bed was in perfect condition. In a panic, I sprinted throughout the house glancing in each room. But he was so no where to be found. Finally, I glanced out the window just to see if his car was in the driveway. I felt a small sob escape my throat; his car was not there. Wandering back to my place on the couch, I slumped down and sighed. Apparently Heero had not come home last night. 'Oh god, has he really left me?' was the only thing I could think. No, that couldn't be right…Heero would never do that, he loves me! He vowed he would love me forever and never leave my side. Why was he so angry about this whole thing with Ayanna? She was just a child; even he should have taken to her instantly.
Technically, I didn't lie to him and I don't believe I betrayed him at all. I never expected him to find out about Ayanna; hell, I didn't expect to ever see her, so what was the problem?
As a small tear escaped my eye, the phone rang causing me to jump; I guess I was lost in my thoughts. I gasped. It could have been Heero on the phone! Trying to steady my voice, I took a deep breath and picked up the receiver.
"Hello?" I said, hoping with all my heart that it would be Heero's voice that responded.
No such luck, for the voice that replied was a woman's and she sounded very panicked.
"Duo? Duo, is that you?" The woman asked.
"Yeah. Who's-" I was cut short.
"Duo, terrible news! Kalista died an hour ago!" She said quickly; it sounded like she had been crying.
The words hit me hard. "Wh-what? She's d-dead?" 'What about Ayanna? How is this going to affect her?'
"It wasn't supposed to happen yet…"
"I'm sorry. Looks like you may get Ayanna this afternoon."
"What!? How am I supposed to explain her mother's death to her?" I sighed. "I wasn't expecting this so soon…"
"I'm sorry, Duo." She whispered. I now realized this was the woman who was taking care of Ayanna for the time being.
I sighed. "Well, what's going to happen now?"
"I'm waiting for a call from the social worker. As soon as I get her okay, I'm going to bring Ayanna over. Is that all right?" She inquired.
"I…uh…" No, actually it wasn't all right. I had no idea where Heero was and damn it, I was feeling more than a little depressed at the moment. But then I had to think about Ayanna. She had just lost her mother. Though I never knew my mother, I can imagine how painful this will be for her.
"Yeah, that's fine. I am correct aren't I? She doesn't know Kalista is dead, does she?" I asked hesitantly.
I heard a loud groan. "No, that's your job to explain it to her. She's only five, so she won't totally understand right now."
"Okay, then-" I began, but she cut me off.
"Oh, sorry Duo. There's a call on the other line; it may be the social worker! I'll phone you when I'm bringing Ayanna over."
Oh god, no. This was all happening way too fast. "No! Wait-!"
I head a click as the line went dead. With a sigh, I hung the receiver up and settled back in the couch. So many thoughts were racing through my mind; I was worried about my daughter – God knows what emotional agony this will cause her. And I was worried about my relationship with Heero. I was scared that we were through – I had totally screwed up and I just knew he wasn't coming back. What was I going to do? I couldn't handle Ayanna by myself…or maybe I just didn't want to. I wanted to share my daughter with Heero. There's a strong bond between parents, and I wanted to feel that bond with the love of my life. Was that so wrong?
At that moment, I was torn. My first priority had to be my daughter, and my second had to be Heero. Maybe Heero was jealous because my attention would be diverted from him to Ayanna. I didn't know what his true reasons for leaving were, but I sure as hell wished he would come back.
I leaned forward in the couch and placed my chin in my palms. Silently, I waited for that call that would be the beginning of my new life.
***
Comments? Criticism? I wanna know what you think! ~Star Kindler