Oh how cruel this stupid world is! What is the point
to make us if you just kill them in car accidents and plane crashes anyway? For
a few long days of misery I waited for my family's funeral while I stayed with
Jake's family. I slept in his bedroom while he was to sleep on the couch. I can
tell you sure-fire that I would have been thrilled to sleep in his
bedroom under any other circumstance but now I just slept and cried … Jake and
his mother Delilah tried to comfort me, but no use. I could hardly even eat. I
was very thankful to them though, especially Delilah because she was an
excellent cook and not to mention a wonderful listener.
The morning of the funeral I was zombie like, and
depressed as you can get. I wore a black party dress, the only black garment I
really owned, besides a black skirt and three black leotards no makeup, and too
small black Mary Janes. I didn't so much as cry during the sermon, just stared
blankly at the closed mahogany coffins, I would have just folded up on the ground
if not for Jake who I was leaning on. Another thing I would have been thrilled
about if not for this. I think I must have passed out half-way through 'cause
first thing I know there's our preacher droning about something about God's
children coming home and a half hysterical lady crying her eyes out, next thing
I know, Jake was dragging me to the car. I was terribly embarrassed, but then I
thought … who gives a damn, my family is dead, nothing matters anymore.
The following day I was all day in bed again. Why
does it matter if I never leave this bed? I'd rather be there than anywhere, I
thought. I suppose Delilah was getting worried because in the middle of the
afternoon she began to hover around asking if I'd like to do anything … go
outside, anything. But oh, no she couldn't possibly understand this! I could
not possibly do anything since my parents are dead! She even got Jake to tell
me to do things (ask me to do things) she was relentless. Now after a few days
of mourning … it seemed she couldn't take anymore of it, she came up to me with
what else but my pointe shoes! And she told me that I would dance …
not should dance, would dance. Sure I protested, but such things do no good if
one is determined enough. So there I was feeling silly in black leotards pink tights and pointe
shoes doing the exercises I used to practice every day. Demi-plie,
in first position, then tendus, a few small jumps, and I felt surprizingly at
ease ! As if I were in my own world where death and saddness goes away and
dancing is the only thing that matters. I imagined I was princess Aurora in
Sleeping Beauty and began to imatate what I had seen others do in the part,
occationally adding my own moves and a little of my style to the piece, twiling
and spinning in perfection, doing the best I ever did! I hadn't realized that
Jake and his mother had been watching until I heard clapping! And I would have been
overjoyed except for the fact that my parents were gone. But at least now I had
a reason the wake up in the morning.
For the days following, I danced every day, it was
slowly becoming everything to me! Oh and the joy I felt to hear and see Jake,
my Prince Charming once again! Though it felt as if I were slapping the poor
memory or my family in the face, I couldn't help but feel whole again. Imagine
how it was ruined when they took me away …
To be continued with the next chapter House on the
Hill please review!!!