I couldn't think of a better name, so I just choose "Carved in Stone." So…yeah. Like said in the summary, a sad Kouyako from Miyako's point of View. You'll notice that I use the Japanese versions of the names of the Digidestined…I don't know why I did that…I just did.
~*Carved in Stone*~
~*Miyako's point of View*~
The impact shattered through my body like nothing I had ever felt before. The pain wasn't pain…it was beyond pain. Pain so painful, that I couldn't even think straight.
I know you've probably heard that before, many times. But you don't know what it's about until you actually feel it.
I guess I lied. I could think…but only of depressing thoughts. The only thing running through my mind was, 'no, it's not true! It can't be true. Impossible!'
I had never felt such pain before…and so, I didn't even really understand it. My ears rang with it, my head pounded, my vision doubled, then tripled, then went back to normal. My body swayed, and I feared that I would just collapse. Maybe it would have been better if I had. They say that it's always easier to bear the pain when you're not dealing with the pressure of standing on your own two feet.
But no. He wouldn't want that. And I didn't want that. I would go through this, standing up. I wouldn't cry…at least not now. Not with everyone watching.
He wouldn't want it. I didn't want it. I wanted to be strong…just like he always was. Later…the time to cry was later, when I was alone, when no one could see my tears.
Maybe that's wrong. I guess it's easier, sometimes, to just show you're grief…it's also easier for others, sometimes, to see that you cared so much, that you can't even keep you're emotions under control. I guess maybe it looked like I didn't care…just standing there, head down, as the pastor's voice droned on and on.
Don't get me wrong. I cared…God, how I loved him! But I couldn't cry. No, I would remember him quietly.
I wished I could cry, though. Maybe it would have comforted me. But he always said that I was so strong…and I wasn't about to let him down now, not even in his death. After all…he was watching me. He was…I knew it! He had to be. He had gone to heaven, and I knew it. If he hadn't, I would be able to feel it.
"…Ashes into ashes, dust into dust…"
No! I wouldn't listen. If I listened to the words, then his death would become reality. If I listened…then he would really be gone.
That's stupid, Miyako. He's already gone.
I felt a sob catch in my throat. No…not here. Later. When everyone left, and I would be alone with him. Just me and the silence, as I stared at the freshly carved gravestone…
I looked around, noticing each person. Sora and Mimi cried uncontrollably.
What must everyone think? They can cry over him, yet I, the one that loved him, cannot.
Hikari just looked stricken…like she couldn't believe it. And the guys…all of them, just stood there. Takeru had his arm around Hikari, but it looked as if it might be more to comfort him than to comfort her.
And then, there was me. Miyako Inoue. The one who loved him, and the one that he loved back. Dressed completely in black, I felt that that was the new color of my world. Black. Nothing but black…not even the darkest shades of gray.
Just black.
"…Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death…"
It's not him, Miya. They're not talking about him. He's talking about someone else…someone you've never seen before. I held onto that thought with all I had. It wasn't Koushiro. No, it was…it was Bob. It was Bob that he was talking about. That's right. Someone that I had never met before, and I was just here to pay my respects. Bob.
"Oh, Koushiro!" I heard his mother cry.
No! I wanted to shout. It's not Koushiro! It's Bob, lying there in the coffin! Kou-kun will be here any minute.
A defense mechanism, I guess. But if it would get me through today, then I gladly welcomed it. I only needed to get through the next little while…then I could break down.
"…And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever…" His voice sounded so…dull, almost.
It doesn't suit him, I wanted to yell. Koushiro was never that sad. He was always happy. He deserves more than just words of grief. He deserves to be remembered as he really was!
He did deserve the grief…he deserved every tear that fell for him, every sob that was heard. But he did deserve more than that.
He had made my life so meaningful. Every morning, I had awakened with a bounce in my step, just because I knew that I would get to see him. He made my life worth living. He always had something special to say…something to brighten up my day. I just loved him so much.
I don't know how long my thoughts went on like that…all I know is, that when I raised my head, no one was there. Everyone had left. No one had tried to make me leave…I guess they had figured that I needed some time alone.
Without a word, I slowly, cautiously walked towards the gravestone that stood, seeming to tower over the ground. It looked so…new.
With a gentle, almost caressing hand, I traced the words that had been carved there, and softly read them aloud.
"Koushiro Izumi
1987-2003.
Never will someone's knowledge be more missed,
Never will someone's words be more longed for."
That was all. Nothing more. I guess that wasn't unusual…but I guess…I thought that he deserved more than those four lines. There was no mention of his time in the Digital World…of how he helped save the world.
I pressed one palm against the smooth stone. It was so cold…so cold…
At this, I broke down. Finally, I could let the tears run down my face, finally I could express the full extent of my grief. Finally, I could cry.
"You loved him almost as much as I did, huh?"
The familiar voice made my head snap upwards. I had been alone…surely, no one was watching me, seeing my tears…
"Tentomon. You came. I didn't see you…I'm glad you came."
"Me too. I never would have forgiven myself. I had to see him one last time."
I nodded, the tears still coursing down my face. Tentomon was the only one that I could feel comfortable crying in front of. Most likely because he had been Koushiro's closest friend.
"It'll never be the same with him gone." Tentomon sounded just as miserable as I felt.
All I could do was nod. Closing my eyes, I tried to banish all thoughts from my mind. But pictures of Koushiro kept flooding into my head.
Koushiro typing at his computer. Koushiro in the Digital World. Koushiro laughing with me, as we worked on my computer. Koushiro at school, at home, with his friends, with me. Koushiro everywhere!
I just wanted to sit there and cry for all eternity. I wanted to beg him to come back, plead with him to come to life again. Ask him for the chance to say goodbye, just once more.
But that would never happen. Never again would I awaken, knowing that I would be able to see him. Never again would I hear his voice, or see him smile at me. I just felt so…empty.
"He'll always be there, though," Tentomon finally spoke up again.
I looked up, recognizing the familiar words. I had thought them, just less than an hour ago. I nodded. "But it's not the same."
No, nothing would ever be the same again. Nothing would seem right without Koushiro.
The rain began to fall then, the large droplets floating to Earth, burying themselves into the ground, just like the tears that fell from my cheeks. I could no longer tell if the wetness on my cheeks was from my tears, or if it was just the rain. Maybe it was both.
And I reached out to touch the gravestone again, noticing once more just how cold it was.
"It's so cold," I could hear myself murmur. "It's not right. It's just too cold."
But death was cold.
And I knew that I would never feel warm again.
THE END.
Okay. I have no idea when Koushiro was born…so I just put 1887. Anyway…yes. I killed Koushiro/Izzy. *cries* Please review! I desperately want to know what you think of my first Kouyako!
Gatomon_1