Author's Note: Okay, I was supposed to be writing the 3rd chapter to 'The Day We Couldn't Make 'The Toe' but it kinda got screwed up.
Ryan (The annoying younger brother): That's putting it lightly.
De: I'll admit it's weird but hey, I haven't had any inspiration in two weeks. I keep on missing Invader Zim, or the TV guide says they're gonna show it and then it doesn't * growls*. Anyway, I think it's better than 'The Day etc. etc." There's about 3 pages of pointlessness before something remotely resembling a plot comes into effect so just be tolerant. Heck, the site'll probably collapse as soon as I post this anyway.
Ryan: De doesn't own Invader Zim if she did it'd be on more often.
De: Right! Enjoy the fic!
Ryan: Can I have my five dollars now?
~~~
Invader Zim slowly made his way towards his home base. He felt a little like he'd been hit by a blast from a laser gun, jittery and tired at the same time. He wondered if he should have accepted the human drink called 'coffee' earlier that morning when GIR had offered it, but at the time he had valued his squeedily spooch to much to try it.
He threw open the door to his home base and was greeted by the parent robots. He looked around and spotted GIR using the primitive contraption known as a telephone.
"GIR!" yelled Zim causing the little robot to drop the phone.
"Yes my master?" responded the robot saluting, his eyes turning red for a brief moment; a very brief moment. "I GOT THREE WAY CALLING!" yelled the little robot, now back to his 'normal' self.
"That's great GIR," replied Zim in an over exaggerated and fake voice. "Now all we need is a third person," he added in a notably less happy voice.
"Oh, I already took care of that," said GIR casually.
"You what?" asked Zim, his mouth dropping open and his voice losing all expression.
"I called everyone from your skool with the student directory and told them our number and where we lived," replied the robot grinning. Zim just stood there with a blank look on his face. "I'M GONNA CALL ITALY!" shrieked GIR losing all interest in the dead conversation. He picked up the phone and started wildly hitting buttons.
"GIR, you didn't by chance tell them I was an alien bent on global domination did you?" asked Zim pleasantly.
"Noooo," replied GIR innocently. Zim breathed a sigh of relief. "I told them you were an alien bent on GALACTIC domination! Wow, did you know your eyes bug out when you're excited?"
"GIR, what did I tell you about blowing our cover?" asked Zim trying to keep his calm despite the fact that he felt like his head was about to explode.
"Uh, wash your hands first?"
"NO! Great, now I have to use the Memory Eraser again. You remember what happened last time I used it?"
"Yeah, Tod still thinks he's a chicken," answered a voice that was definitely not GIR's. Zim whirled around and (of course) there stood Dib.
"WHAT? How'd you get in here?" yelled Zim in disbelief, this day kept getting worse and worse.
"Why am I here… why am I hear?" Dib muttered to himself tapping his head. "Oh yeah!" he yelled throwing out his arms and accidentally hitting an approaching lawn gnome. "I've come to defeat you with the ray gun I got back from Mrs. Bitters's (And I will finish that fic…eventually-_-). Victory will be mine ALIEN SCUM!" yelled Dib, following his declaration up with a maniacal laugh.
"Where's your ray gun?" asked Zim evenly.
"I- uh…" said Dib suddenly realizing he didn't have it. He frantically searched his pockets then turned around to see if he had dropped it. It was then that he spotted a couple of squirrels dragging something that looked suspiciously like a ray gun up a tree. He turned around with a big forced grin on his face. "I'll be right back," he said with a nervous chuckle. He darted out the door, skidded to a stop. "Don't move a muscle!" he yelled over his shoulder, then took off after the squirrels. "Hey! Squirrels! Come back with my ray gun!"
Zim blocked out the sounds of Dib yelling and sighed. "Close the door GIR," he commanded in a tired voice.
"Yes my master!" GIR replied saluting, then he went into a giggling fit. "I'm gonna play with the squirrels!"
"And lock the door!" added Zim as an after thought. Sighing yet again he headed towards the garbage can entrance to his lab.
~~~ Several Galaxies Away In a Big Ship at the Head of the Big Space Ship Gang…er Armada..
"Look Red! I created a new drink!" said the purple Tallest proudly as he marched into the control room.
"And what would that be?" asked Red, not really interested at all.
"It's ground up beans soaked in hot water. It tastes like chalk!" replied Purple as he proudly presented his drink. Red thought it looked rather like runny mud.
"And what do you call this grand new concoction?" asked Red deciding to keep his opinions to himself.
"Well it made the guard I gave it to cough a lot so I guess I'll call it… K.. cough.. Koffee! yes that's it! It's called Koffee!" Red decided that Purple was really to excited about this.
"That's great! Now get it out of the control room."
"Why?"
"You're gonna spill it."
"I will not."
"Will to!"
"Will not!
"Will to!"
"I WILL NOT!"
"Just like you didn't spill the Guava Juice."
"That was an accident!"
"Exactly!"
"Look, I wont spill it," said Purple, he crossed his arms to give himself an air of confidence and in the process spilling the "koffee" all over the control panel. "Woops."
"What did I tell you! There you go again, ruining our equipment! Of course what can I expect from a guy who thinks smoke machines are better than lasers," said Red crossing his own arms.
"It was an accident! And smoke machines are much better than lasers!"
"Are not!"
"Are too!"
"Are not!"
"Are too!"
"Um sirs," interrupted one of the elite soldiers who worked in the command room.
"Stay out of this!" yelled Red and Purple at the same time.
"Sirs, the Trans-Galactic video communicator has activated and seems to be calling someone on a distant planet," said the soldier ignoring his leaders' characteristic arguing.
"Who are we calling?" asked Purple looking up at the communication screen.
"Oh no," said Red who had already figured it out.
~~~ Back on the Filthy Dirt Ball known as Earth
"Squirrel are cuuute," said GIR as he stared out the window at the squirrels who were currently tormenting Dib. A beeping noise drew GIR's attention away from the scene outside.
"Hello? Anyone there?" Came a voice from the screen/monkey picture on the wall.
"Good, maybe he's not home," muttered Red.
"HI!" yelled GIR, suddenly appearing on the screen causing the two Tallest to jump.
"Hello… er what was your name again?" asked Purple.
"MY NAME'S HERMAN! Oh yeah!" Yelled GIR. The Tallest watched alarmed as the small robot started to dance.
"Well if Zim's not home we can just call back," suggested Purple.
"Or not," added Red.
"GIR, who are you talking to?" Came Zim's voice from the kitchen.
"Those people in the monkey picture," GIR called back.
There came the sound of some crashes from the kitchen and then Zim appeared on the screen. "My Tallest," he said bowing to the two elite Irkens, who were beginning to sweat. "To what do I owe the honor of this call?"
"Er… uh… we just wanted-" started Purple.
"A report!" said Red thinking quickly. "Yeah, that's right, we just wanted a report." Both Tallest were amazed when the nervous chuckling didn't tip Zim off.
"Should have sent him to one of those exploding heads planets," muttered Purple.
"Shut up!" Red muttered back, elbowing Purple.
"The mission goes well," said Zim solemnly yet confidently.
"You're friends back!" yelled GIR.
"Nonsense, there is no one at the door," said Zim chuckling nervously.
"Sure there is," persisted GIR. "You know, your friend Dib."
"IknownothingofthisDibofwhichyouspeak!" said Zim quickly. He turned back to the Tallest grinning nervously.
"Yeah you do. You know the weird kid with black hair that goes like this…whoo-boosh!" said GIR, motioning with his arms to give an impression of Dib's unique hairstyle. And to make matters worse Dib was now pounding on the door and yelling something along the lines of "If you come out now I'll go easier on you but not much."
"Ignore the noise," said Zim still grinning nervously.
"Zim if this isn't-"
"No! It's just… the TV…. Yes! The TV! And oh what an annoying contraption that TV is." The Tallest just looked at each other.
"There's a crack in the door!" yelled GIR. "There's another crack in the door!" There was the sound of a ray gun charging and then a loud blast as Dib obliterated the door. "EWWW! The door's gone!" yelled GIR.
"Sirs, I think I'm going to have to sign off and shut off that TV," said Zim moving to end the transmission. However Dib pounced on him before he could do so.
"Stop struggling ZIM!" yelled Dib, putting the emphasis on his foe's name, as was his custom. "Don't want to damage the evidence but I will if I have to."
"Foolish human! You can never hope to over come an Irken Invader!" yelled Zim grabbing onto Dib's hair. The two continued to fight as the two very disturbed Tallest watched, each wondering if they should end the transmission or wait to see who won the fight; not that it really mattered to them all that much.
"I'M DANCING LIKE A MONKEY!" yelled GIR, coming back to stand in the center of the screen's view. He resumed the dance that Zim had interrupted earlier. The two rivals continued to fight in the background; and it was just mass chaos. Until something very strange happened. First Zim and Dib glowed blue and then vanished entirely.
"Oooooh, that's not good," said GIR, stopping his dance to look over at where his master and Dib had been just a moment earlier. "Oh well, buh-bye," said the little robot waving. GIR climbed up on the couch and turned off the screen so that it became a picture of a monkey again.
"That was odd," said Purple as the now blank screen retracted back into the ceiling.
"Very," added Red.
"Should we try to find out what happened to Zim?"
"Maybe." The Tallest thought about it for minute before shrugging to each other.
"Wanna get some soda instead?" asked Red.
"Sure," said Purple. And they headed for the kitchen.
~~~ Somewhere in the Universe (I don't know the exact location, so sue me)
"The two beings from the transmission we intercepted are being brought to the chamber over there with the advanced technology we stole from the people of Vlorch," said a blue, female, humanoid.
"Who ever thought rat people would think up something useful like this?" said another blue, female humanoid; the first one's sister.
"You sure we chose the right contestants?" asked yet another….blue thing (yep another sister). "I mean they looked…"
"Kinda dumb," finished the first.
"Yeah," said the third.
"Tessa, Tessa, that's exactly the point," said the first. "Our last two contestants were smart enough to escape, and you know how mother hates it when the contestants escape." All three of them shuddered at the memory.
"Fine Verandaz, but I don't see the point of doing all this if they kill each other before we even get them to the first obstacle," muttered Tessa.
"You worry to much," said Verandaz hitting some buttons.
"Yeah, that's what I keep telling myself," muttered Tessa.
"Well, here they are," said Verandaz gesturing to the chamber. "And according to my readings they're in one piece."
~~~
AN: What will happen to GIR home alone? What will happen to Zim and Dib? Will the second sister ever get more lines, or even a name? Will Mirage DeDreamer ever think of something to call her creations or will she have to keep calling them the blue things through out the rest of the fic? All these questions partially answered in a second chapter that will hopefully come out sometime before Christmas! Please r/r and give this author a reason for living!