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Six o'clock in the morning. The green eyed boy was already awake, in fact, he hadn't slept the whole night. He was lying on his bed, staring at the blank cell and his mind was working; hard. Alone? Yes, because this is my private apartment, nobody's supposed to be here. The others; Quatre, Duo, Wufei and Heero should be at Quatre's mansion by now, arranging for the party. I still remember when Quatre asked me why I refused to stay with them, still remember when Duo yelled at me that I ruined his plan of traveling around the world together, Wufei when he said that I acted like a dead man, and Heero.. he just stared at me.. just stared. And walked away.. I have my own reason for that and I don't want to share it with anyone. My feelings told me...it's better this way. I looked out the windows, morning light begining to shine through the bamboo curtain. I have to get up. It was still early when I left my apartment. I still had enough time to take a walk. I should have had breakfast but my stomach didn't say so, looks like I lost my appetite during the time I was alone. I usually ate when Duo called for me. He always made everyone hungry by talking about how dinner smelled and tasted. Besides, Quatre usually invented a new recipe. I shook my head a little and decided to take black coffee; it always lightened up my day. The street wasn't crowded as it should be in the morning, the stone pavement still damp from last night's rain. I handed a quarter to the begger, as Wufei told me to do. He said that this country should give more opportunities to these people and every year Quatre donates his money to many foundations. I walked along the street to the center square, a hundred of white pigeons were gathered because of the bird food vender ran his business here. The old vender walked towards me and asked me if I wanted to feed the pigeons. I nodded and paid him. I sat at the bench nearby and began to scatter the bird food in front of me. These pigeons have their freedom, they're free to fly anywhere they want, like Heero told me when we saw the bird vender. After that he bought the bird and set it free.. When I finished, I stood up and spotted a little girl. She was sitting on the stone ground at one corner of the square, crying, a cone of melted ice cream was in front of her. I walked towards her and asked why she was crying. She said she was lost and tried to find her parents. I soothed her long brown hair and asked if she wanted a new ice cream. She was still sobbing but her lips curved into a smile. I picked her up and bought an ice cream from a pushcart vender. She reminded me of Duo, little body and long brown hair... besides, if Duo got mad, Heero could made him cool down with snacks too. Not a long time after that her parents thanked me for taking care of their daughter. I walked across the square to the flower shop. I saw the display bouquet and thought of them. Duo said love is like a rose; it grows, it blossoms but it don't last long. Wufei said white mean 'justice' and 'purification'. Quatre told me that crimson indicated 'passion'... so I chose white roses decorated with a white feather and a dark crimson ribbon, it turned out to be good. The flower girl smiled at me and asked curiously if I was going on a date. I tried to curve a smile and shook my head lightly. Yes, she saw the sadness in my eyes and didn't asked anything further. I walked down the street a bit and I reached the cemetery. I saw a group of men and women in black dresses and suits. They were crying and mourning over the granite tombstone, they might have lost someone important.. the god of death might have called back their beloved... but there were so many ways of 'lost' and death was just one of them... I passed those grievous people to the marble church ahead, the black limo was parked in front of its open door. I found a bench under the tree, not far from the church door but far enough to hide myself. I sat there and waited... I told myself to stop shaking... Was I prepared? Yes, I was. I held my breath and the most cruel melody in the world was welled up, followed with the loud voice of Duo while he threw up a thousand petals to the sky and slowly...very slowly...they fell on two bodies...Heero and Relena. They appeared from the door, among the white dressed people; Duo, Quatre, Wufei, Sally, Hilde, Noin, Zechs and Dorothy. They were hugging and laughing together. Relena kissed Heero's cheek and she turned back to throw the bouquet up... the one who caught it was Sally. Duo pushed Wufei to stand beside her, both blushing and Duo seemed to continue teasing them. I sighed.. seemed like even I go on living a separate life from them and him, he was still going nowhere in my head. I still miss him. I know I need him.. God, but I can't go back... I couldn't make up my mind. If I could bare those feelings anymore, the feeling when he looked at me and talked to me. It hurt so bad. Nobody can help me and nobody will. He has his own way of life and I have mine. Sometimes they may cross... but they'll never comply... I didn't have to hold back my tears, because they
were already dried. I smiled bitterly at the roses in my hand. I placed
it beside me on the bench. I got up, shrugged and walked away...
=========================================================== Kai: hea' hea' my first 3+1, this fic doesn't have conversation so I think Trowa will work this way.. Comment Please... I need it so BAD (*^_^*) Edited by : Becky Chan! Thanks!
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