I DON'T OWN ANY OF THIS, THO I WISH I DID…it all belongs to jk rowling

I DON'T OWN ANY OF THIS, THO I WISH I DID…it all belongs to jk rowling

Harry, Ron, and Hermione were walking down the third floor corridor, now fifth years.

"Hey, where's Draco, I miss him…" Harry said, looking at the floor. (no this isn't slash, eww!!)

"I locked him in McGonagall's closet," Lockhart exclaimed matter-of-factly as he passed on by, giving them a stupid grin.

"Okay," Ron said, watching him go before smashing into an invisible pole. Hermione laughed so hard she crapped her pants.

They entered the Great Hall moments later.  Harry spotted his latest crush, Millicent Bullstrode.

"Look at her, she's beautiful…" Ron and Hermione stopped and looked up at her just in time to see her pull the last of the long, white dog hairs off of her cloak.  She then took the ball of hairs and rubbed it against her face as if in heaven.

"The dog-hair queen is yours!" Ron stomped away, spitting madly. He accidentally slipped on the last step into the Great Hall just as Draco hit him with a full body-bind. He fell, flat as a board, with his arms stuck at his side face-first onto the ravenclaw table. No one noticed.

"Really? Thanks!" Hermione ran over to say hi, but was stopped by Filch, who had come over to clean her pants of the poop.

Harry say down next to Colin Creevy and Neville Longbottom.  They were busy talking about buttons, but as soon as Harry sat down, they immediately dropped the subject, knowing Harry wasn't too fond of buttons. 

"Good morning Harry I would love to see your flamingo dance again," Colin said, staring spacingly at Harry.

"Well, I would, but I think Snape would rather show you today," and with a snap of Harry's hands, Snape was up on the teacher's table with both of his hands stuck out in front of him, one leg up in the back, and his cheeks sucked in like a fish's.  Before long everyone was standing up clapping for him.  He was moving jerkily across the table before getting down on his hands and knees and humping it.  At that, Dumbledore became very upset…

"How can everyone just watch him hump the table???" Dumbledore stared dumbly at everyone, "let's all join in!" they watched as his faced went from angry to happy. He got up on the table and did the same.  Soon, McGonagall joined. 

Harry didn't seem to notice, he was too interested in Millicent Bulstrode. Hermione was carefully pulling hairs out of Millicent's mouth. Harry drooled with anticipation, he wanted to be Hermione.  He just couldn't take it. He ran over there as quickly as he could, ripped Hermione off of Millicent just in time to pull the last hair out.  Then, he stared at her massive body, and let out a sigh of relief and exhaustion.

 

Dumbledore, Snape, and McGonagall had moved from the head table to the house tables now, and didn't even notice they were humping Ron, for he was lying on the Ravenclaw table.