The PokeMon T.V. Show
I don't own Pokemon, any of the celebs mentioned (but I wish I did. Naw, just kidding) or anything like that, so don't sue me.
Ok, before I start, I just wana say that I have nothing against Pokemon. I like the classic red and blue a lot. It's the T.V. show I'm dissin here, so no fireballs or nutin. Oh yeah, this is a true story.
Link: (me Link, not Link Link.) There's nutin on TV! This sucks.
Goes to channel 2, the TV guide station.
Link: Ben Stien. No. Oprah. Nooooooo. Hey, baseball!
Flips to baseball station.
Link: Eeeeeeew, the Yankees!
Flips back.
Link: There is nothing on!
PokeMon is on.
Link: O.O Pokemon. I'll watch it, but ONLY TO MAKE FUN OF IT!!!
Looks around to make sure no one is looking.
Turns to the Pokemon station.
Narrator: We join our friends as they battle some guy in some statium.
Link: AGAIN?? Man, they are running raw on these ideas.
Guy Ash is facing: P*nisaur, I choose you!
Link: o.O P*nisaur?? They're running out of Pokemon ideas, too.
Ash: Bulbs-ass-is-sore (Bulbasaur), I choose you!
The screen spilts into multiple groups. One shows, Ash, another shows the other trainer, the Pokeball, Bulbasaur, Misty's pants, that guy that they're with, Togepi, Pikachu, a sweatdrop on Ash's forehead, a guy in the audience, and Marylin Manson.
Link: -V.V to they always have to do the split screen thingy? And why did Ash use his Bulbasaur on a Venesaur?
Navi: Hey!
Link: Go away.
Navi: Hey!
Link: Shaddup!
Navi: Listen!
Link:If you shut up I'll tell you who Tatl is!
Navi: O.O
Link: That's better.
Navi: .
Navi: Hey!
Link Ok, what do you want?
Navi: It's not Venasaur, it's P*nisaur!
Link: . What's the difference????
Navi: ^.^ Well, a Venisaur is a grass-type
Link catches her in a bottle.
Navi: . Ooh, not again
Other Trainer Dude (OTD): P*nisaur, use your
Link: *COUGH COUGH COUGH*
OTD: attack!
P*nisaur: Pppp******nnnnnniiiiiiissssssaaaaaauuuuuurrrrrr!
He jumps in the air and the background behind him gets all swirly.
Announcer:And he hits Bulbasaur!
Link: No sh*t, Sherlock.
Bulbasaur is lying on the ground.
Split screen Bulbasaur, P*nisaur, Ash, OTD, Link, Cidny Crawford.
Link: Hey, why am I in there?
Navi: I don't know!
Link: I wasn't asking you!
Navi: But
Link: Don't make me use the Goron Mask! Remember what happened last time I did that?
Navi: Oh, yes, I still have that scar.
Link: Gooooooood.
Misty: I hope Bulbasaur is ok.
Other guy (Is he Tracy? I thought Tracey was a girls name.):Yeah. Me too.
Togepi: Breeeee.
Ash: Come on, Bulbie, get up!
Bulbasaur: What did you call me?
Ash: Er.nothing!!!
Bulbasaur: Goooooood.
Link: Hey, that's my line!
Ash: Bulbasaur, use your growl attack!
Bulbasaur: Uh growl.
P*nisaur flies backwards and is knocked out.
OTD: O.O My P*nisaur! Return to your Pokeball!
Link: *cracks up* Heeey, a growl can't kill a Pokemon!
Neebs: Proves how inaccurate the show is.
Link: Touche`. BTW, when did you get here?
Neebs: Did you just say BTW? Dude, you only use that in chat rooms.
Link: Doooohh! I knew I should have spent 15 ours on AOL!
Neebs: o.O Anyhoo, I just came to party.
Link: Coo.
Neebs: o.O Coo?
Link:. Just keep watching
OTD: MikaYakson, I choose you!
He throws a Pokeball and out pops a MikaYakson.
Link: Michael Jackson?
Navi: Noo
Link starts making Goron noises.
Navi: Ok, ok, ok
Ash: Bulbie
Bulbasaur gives him a look.
Ash: BULBASAUR! Use your razor leaf attack.
Bulbasaur jumps up and the screen behind him gets all swirly.
BAM! MikaYakson gets hit.
Announcer: And what a shot!
MikaYakson: OW!
Split screen with Mika, Bulbie
Bulbasaur: Bulbasaur!
Bulbasaur, Ash, OTD, and Faith Hill.
Neebs: No comment.
MikaYakson: I am OKAY!
OTD: That's nice. Judo chop!
Mika gets up. Screen swirels.
Mika: Hoooooiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Hits. Split. Bulbasaur, Mika, OTD, Ash, and Christina Agulara.
Misty: I hope Bulbasaur's ok
Tracy: Me too.
Togepi: Breeee.
Link: -.- I'm beginning to notice a pattern.
Neebs: Gee.
Lizard Man: WAZUUUUUUUPP!
Link: You're here, too?
Lizard Man: Yeah, I came to party!
Link: . Ok, what's up with this party?
Neebs: Sit down, we're watching watching Pokemon.
Lizard Man: But I wana play Goldeneye!
Link: No, you'll whoop our tails. And BT By the way
Neebs: *Snigger*
Link: Did you bring Harvest Moon to give back to me?
Lizard Man: Noo
Link: . Arghhh.
Lizard Man: You never told me to!
Neebs: Common Sense!
Ash: Bubasaur, return! I choose you
He chucks a pokeball.
Ash: Squirtle!
The camera swivels around the seen, while Squirtle and MikaYakson stand there, unmoving.
OTD: MikaYakson, use your really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really high note move!
MikaYakson jumps up in the air. Swirly. He takes a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig breath.
Mika: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
The windows shatter. Everyone in the statium falls down. Link, Neebs, and Lizard Man all shudder.
Mika: HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Split screen. Mika, Squirtle, OTD, Ash, LeAnn Rhymes.
Misty: I hope Squirtle's ok.
Tracy: What??? I can't hear you.
Togepi: Breeeee.
Lizard Man: Whoa, that WAS really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really high!
Link: I didn't even know my TV was capable of that!
Neebs: Hey, it's a big screen
Ash: Squirtle!!!
Ash gets very emotional.
Link: *drip*
Neebs: WILL YOU QUIT MAKING THAT NOISE WITH YOUR MOUTH!!!
Link: It's not my mouth; it's my finger. *drip*
Neebs tries to do it but he can't.
Ash: Squirtle
Lizard Man: He sounds constupaded.
Link: Probably is.
Ash is back in action.
Ash: Charizard, I choose you!
Neebs:Why didn't he send out his Carizard in the first place? It's his best Pokemon!
Link: V.V Cuz he's an idiot.
OTD: MikaYakson, use your really really ect. high note!
Crowd: Boooo!!
OTD: What?
A guy comes up and whispers in OTD's ear.
OTD: I'm not allowed to use the same attack twice? Why not?
Guy: It's just not dramatic that was!
Tracy: What a newbie.
Link: Haha, it IS newbie, NOT newb.
Neebs: .
OTD: OK, ok, use your head butt!
Lizard Man: Teehee he said butt!
Neebs and Link look at him.
MikaYakson jumps up. You know the drill.
Ash: Charizard, use your flamethrower attack.
Charizard also jumps up. Swirly.
Charizard attacks first. Mika is barbequed, and falls to the ground. SPLIT. Mika, Chary
Charizard: Charizard!
Charizard, OTD, Ash, Link, Neebs, Lizard Man, Drew Barrymore.
MikaYakson: Extra Crispy!
OTD: Mikayakson, return!
He returns.
OTD: Batman, I choose you!
Neebs: Well, it IS the same TV station.
Batman: Martini. On the rocks. Shaken, not stirred.
Ash: Charizard, use your firespin attack!
(annoyed Tom Hanks voice.) Charizard jumps. The screen get swirly. He attacks. Batman dies.
Link: Because he's a looser!
Tom Hanks: Don't interuppt me! The split screen. Charizard. Batman. OTD. Ash. Britney Spears. OTD returns Batman. Is that all?
Link: Yep, your done.
Tom: Wo-hoo!
He runs away.
OTD: Allright, I got three Pokemon left.
Ash: Me, too!
OTD: No, you have 4.
Ash: *brakes down in tears* NO I DON'T! I HAVE THREE! I'M ALWAYS RIGHT! ALWAAAAAAYS!
OTD: Okaaaaaay. Do it, Anomn!
Ash: Don't you have ANY real Pokemon?
OTD: Uhhhhhnope.
Lizard Man: What's Anomon?
Link: Digimon.
Neebs: You watch Digimon?
Link: . Uh.no! Nope, not me! A-heh-heh
Neebs: o.O
Anoman: AAAAANNNNOOOOOMMMMMOOOOONNNN!!!
Neebs: I thought Digimon could talk.
Lizard Man and Link look at him.
Neebs: Uh, I mean, I don't KNOW, but, uh
Navi: The reason Anomon can't talk is because too many of OTD's OTHER PokeMon can!
Link: I didn't want to do this, but
Link: Rrrrghhh rrrrrggggghhhh AUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!
Navi: No, no! Please, no! NO! NOOOOOOO!
The following scene has been edited out I want this story to at least be PG-13.
Ash: Charizard, use fly!
Charizard flew. Anomon, like all Digimon, became scared and couldn't attack. I mean, I don't know this, but
Swirl attack. SPLIT SCREEN AGAIN! The usual peps andI'm running out of ideas! UhLeslie Carter! Ooh, what a b*tch
OTD: Anomon! Digivolve! Now!
Anomon digivolve into uh Bonomon?? See, I don't watch the show.
OTD: Anomon, use some Digimon attack that I don't know because the author never watches Digimon!
Oy vey. You know the drill, do it yourself. And the teen star isoh, fudgeReese Witherspoon!
Misty: I hope Charizard it ok
Tracy: me, too.
Narrator: Is Charizard ok? Does OTD have a Pokemon? Will Ash ever use Pikachu? Will my computer enot let me add anymore swirly screens? Will I run out of female stars? Will Lizard Man ever give Link back Harvest Moon? Will anyone ever admit they watch Digimon? Find out and join our heros next time on The PokeMon T.V. Show!