Chapter 2
Daria is at home calling a psychiatrist's after thinking that there might be a tiny grain of substance in what people say about her. Anyway even if there isn't it might be fun to check out how it goes.
Picking up the phone I dialled the number for Dr Fanjove's office. I fiddled with the phone cord, wrapping it around my fingers as I waited for the receptionist to answer. I finally heard the upbeat, perky happy voice of "Caroline" that just made me want to throw up.
"Good afternoon Dr Fanjove's office" chirped Caroline
"Uh, hi my names Daria and I'd like to make an appointment" I replied
"Press 1 or 2 for multi personality disorders, press 3 repeatedly if you suffer from obsessive compulsiveness" Spurted the ever-happy Caroline. I realised this must be a recorded message and Caroline was probably meeting her ever-happy boyfriend for a lunch time date to make other people sick over there food. I sighed and stopped fiddling with the phone cord, it now resembled some form of modern art, I waited as the message continued.
"If you are manic depressive all our operators are to busy to take your call. If you are some kind of addict please select your drug of choice-press 5 for alcohol addiction, 6 for nicotine addiction or 7 for narcotic addiction, this will take you through to either alcoholics anonymous, the QUIT line, or narcotics anonymous. If you press 5 or 7 please have your name and address ready so we can mail you some details. If you believe you are a telepath then you must already know what number to press. If however, none of these categories fit you then please hold the line and one of our operators will be with you in a minute. Unless of course you are suicidal, then just hang up because nobody cares what you're going through."
I tapped my foot as I impatiently waited for an operator to pick up, I considered filling my nails but then if Quinn saw me she might think I actually care about my appearance or something equally ridiculous. A few minutes later a bored sounding operator picked up and I said, "Hi my names Daria and I was wondering if I could make an appointment for sometime?"
"Well, gee." Sighed the operator, "I suppose we could fit you in, say, Thursday? At about 4pm?"
"Sure" I replied. After I hung up I wondered about Thursday, I never thought ahead this far, I mean, what am I actually going to say to this guy? Tell him about my fears for world abomination or my plan to join the aliens in outer space? It was this I debated as I headed upstairs for another dose of Sick Sad World.
Thursday afternoon, at school. Daria meets Jane by their lockers to walk home from school.
I was pushing all my books from my Maths class into my locker when I heard the telltale shuffle of Jane's shoes approaching. Jane started putting her books into her locker, which is next to mine in silence, when all of a sudden she turned to face me.
"Hey Daria, did you do something to your hair?" asked Jane
"Uh, is that some kind of sick twisted joke?" I replied
"Heh." Said Jane "So, what are your plans for this evening?"
"Oh you know, planning how to either ship Quinn off to Alabama or air post her. Which would be easier do you think?" I said with a smile
"Air post would be quicker, but shipping easier" Said Jane, knowingly.
"Or I could just try and shove her into a letter boy and stick a stamp to her forehead" I said
"Come to think of it" said Jane "That idea is strangely appealing"
We grinned at each other good thing we both see the amusement in shoving Quinn into a small red box with "RETURN TO SENDER" or something similar stamped across her forehead. I said good bye to Jane and started walking to the psychiatrist's office and tried to shake off that feeling of impending doom.
At 4pm in Doctor Fanjove's office. Daria is sitting in a chair, in a richly decorated office. Doctor Fanjove is sitting opposite her across a table. There is a pad of paper and 2 pens on the table.
Dr Fanjove was my idea of a mad scientist. I was seriously debating the point of being in that office when he spoke.
"Well Daria, what seems to be the problem?" he asked.
"Well.." I began, rubbing my fingers along the overly nice upholstery of the chair I was sitting in at that time "Everyone seems to think there's something wrong with me just because I seem to have a slightly different out look on life to the majority."
"Hmmm…" said Dr Fanjove, making some marks on the paper in front of him, "Let's start at the beginning, I'd like you to draw on this piece of paper here whatever comes to mind, just right off the top of your head." He pushed a piece of paper and a pen over to me. I stared at the piece of paper and picked up the pen.
"Well, art isn't really my forte." I said, "But I'll give it a go I suppose." Trying to be as helpful as possible. I made a few marks of my own on the paper and then just generally scribbled a bit, I was having a pretty good time when I realised Dr Fanjove was looking at me with an interested gaze.
"So what have we got here?" asked Dr Fanjove, looking at my drawing.
"Uh, well at first it was a letterbox and then a ship, and then I decided to move away from transport and draw something to represent our government so I drew people blowing each other up. The I thought I might draw something cheerful so I drew Quinn getting onto a plane. Then I thought of that plane disaster that happened awhile ago, the one where every died and I drew that." I explained
"I see." Said Dr Fanjove, "Who is Quinn?"
"Quinn is a female, born from the combining of my biological mother and biological fathers DNA. I believe that I actually belong to another family entirely but some alien made a stupid mistake and implanted me in the wrong woman." I said
"Quinn is your sister" confirmed Dr Fanjove "Well Daria I think that's probably enough for now. I'd like to see you again on Tuesday if that's possible for you."
"I guess so" I nodded. I walked out of Dr Fanjove's office and the woman sitting behind the front desk gave me a plastic smile, I noted the nametag Caroline and tried to figure out how many facelifts she had had in the past 2 years. It would have been a figure between 6 and 7 at least. I left the office and headed home.