Chapter Two...
Laura: The next morning, Kuja woke up feeling very sad. He remembered last night's dancing and play, but was terribly disappointed that his boy wasn't really alive. He got up and dressed, and walked out into the workshop to be very surprised! His creation, Vivi, had moved, and was sleeping on the floor! He was breathing!
Kuja: Oh! I'm moved to tears! *he begins crying dramatically* My creation has come to life! My wish has come true! (Geez, who wrote this!?)
*he runs over to Vivi and scoops him up, hugging him tightly and squealing like a girl*
*Vivi wakes up and sleepily opens his eyes*
Vivi: Huh...? *his eyes shoot open when he realizes that Kuja is hugging him* AHHHHHHHH!
*he manages to wiggle out of Kuja's grasp, kicking and screaming*
Vivi: AHHHHHHH! Zidane! Where are you Zidane!? I-i-it's KUJA!
Zidane: *waking up* I know...*yawn* He's your father.
Vivi: B-b-but...*shuffles feet* Well, yeah...I suppose I already knew that...But he's trying to kill me! He was trying to choke me!
Kuja: *sniffling and hurt* I was just trying to show my paternal affection...
Vivi: I h-have a hard time believing that, K-kuja!
Kuja: Okay, just because I called you a mindless puppet and a stupid doll and all that stuff, you're still mad at me? Let's put the past behind us, son! Can I call you Junior?
Vivi: NO! I'm V-vivi Orunitier, and that's what you'll c-call me!
Zidane: Ouch. Bet that hurts.
Kuja: My own son hates me! What will I do!?
Zidane: You should send him to Catholic School. That'll straighten any kid out.
Kuja: But we're not Catholic. We worship...uh...hmm...*looks to the narrarator* Laura, who DO we worship?
Laura: *is flipping through the guidebook to answer the question. Finding no answer, she looks up at Kuja sweetly*
Laura: We all worship you, Kuja-sama!
Kuja: Well, I mean...besides me! Don't we have some sort of deity?
Laura: *looks around her bedroom posters for a quick name to keep Kuja quiet*
Laura: You worship...uh...Xellos-sama!
Zidane: Wait, isn't he that demon from...
Laura and Vivi: SHHHHH!
Kuja (contented): Oh yeah! Now I remember.
All: *sweatdrop*
Kuja: Okay, so I'll send you to Xellosism school.
Vivi (trying to be brave): I'm not doing a-anything you tell me to!
Kuja: Ai-yi-yai...*is at a loss* Please, Vivi-chan---
Vivi: VIVI ORUNITIER!
Kuja: Fine, fine...but please, my son, please won't you go to school!?
Vivi: *faces away from Kuja and crosses his arms obnoxiously*
Zidane: *hops gracefully and lightly onto Vivi's shoulder* You know, Vivi-kun, school might be a good idea. *gets an evil grin* There are usually lots of cute girls in uniforms---
Vivi: *stares blankly at Zidane* You know, Z-zidane, I'll go to school if YOU want me to, but you d-don't have to bribe me with girls. I'm only nine, you know. Girls have cooties.
Kuja: Yes, they do! Ooops! I didn't say that aloud! *covers mouth primly and looks away*
Vivi and Zidane: *edge away from Kuja*
Vivi: Okay, Kuja, I'll go to school, but only because Zidane wants me to!
Zidane: *hops around* Oh-ho-ho-boy! Girls, here I come!
Kuja: *steps on Zidane with one delicate dainty little high-heeled boot* Oh, thank you, Vivi. But are you sure you want that mini bag of hormones trailing you?
Vivi: Zidane's my friend! S-so get your foot off him!
*Kuja disdainfully lifts his prissy little boot off of tinsy Zidane and Vivi scoops him up to put him on the brim of his hat, and they walk off together. Kuja watches them walk off and wipes away a little silver tear*
Kuja: My little boy...his first day of school! *sniff*
*****
Laura: So Vivi and Zidane set off down the road to school. Vivi skipped along happily chatting with Zidane tucked safely into the brim of his hat. Meanwhile, in an alley ahead of them, two men are watching the animated puppet and whispering.
Blank: Woah! Look at that! A real Black Mage doll!
Marcus: Walking all by itself, too! Isn't that amazing?
Blank: I bet we could sell it to Baku...he'd be able to use it, right?
Marcus: Suuuuure. The little squirt can probably act...and look, he's so cute!
Blank: Awww, he is. Let's get him!
Laura: Suddenly, Vivi tripped on a sword that had been stretched across the sidewalk.
Vivi: OOOF! *slowly gets up, adjusting his hat. He sees patched legs, patched body and a heavily patched face with a belt securing lots of spikey red hair*
Vivi: Oh, Hi Blank! *waves, and then sees as a short, sharp featured man steps out from behind Blank* Hey, M-marcus too? Cool!
Blank: *puts on a smarmy, oily smile* Well hello, little boy! Want to have some fun?
Zidane: *laughs through his nose* That sounds so wrong, Blank!
Blank: *flusters and re-reads his lines* Hey, this isn't what I rehearsed!
Laura: *smiling innocently* I changed the script a little...
Marcus: Ewwww! Blank, why didn't you tell me you're a pedophile?! I shared a BED with you!
Blank: *crying* I swear, I'm not like that! It's in the script! Laura made me say it!
Laura: *laughing hysterically*
All: *sweatdrop*
Marcus: *stares at the girl who is now red with laughter* Okay, I believe you.
Vivi: *extremely frustrated* WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!!?! What's up with everybody!? Freya-san was dressed as fairy, Zidane's all green and small, Kuja was hugging me for Heaven's sake, and you two were acting all slimy and weird!
*****
Blank: O.O
Marcus: O.O
Zidane: O.O Wow Vivi-kun! You said all that without stuttering once!
Vivi: *stares* Y-you're right. I did. But you're a-aren't answering me!
Laura: *sighs* I guess we can't keep him in the dark for too long. *laughs again*
Blank: Why is she laughing now?
Laura: I made a joke! -Vivi in the dark-...get it? You know, Vivi's face is always dark..get it?
Marcus: Now that is just scary.
Vivi: So Laura's controlling this whole thing?
Laura: You betcha, Vivi-chan!
Vivi: Okay, I'm starting to get the p-picture...people out of character, people in costume...people pulling out scripts...geez, Laura, I-I'm not stupid, I can figure out I'm in a play.
Laura: Aha! But do you know WHICH play?!
Vivi: ...How would I know? I'm from a video g-game world.
Laura: I give up. *hands Vivi a script* You can read from this from now on.
*Vivi pages through the script casually*
Vivi: WOAH! Y-y-y-yaoi lemon!
Blank, Marcus and Zidane: WHAT?!
Vivi: Geez, I was just j-joking...
Marcus: You had me scared for a minute there Vivi.
Blank: He's still scaring me. He's only nine and he's telling jokes like that...where does he pick up this trashy lemon stuff?
Zidane and Laura: *whistle whistle whistle*
Vivi: Sorry...okay, I can d-deal with this play...so I try to go to school but Blank and Marcus try to kidnap m-me?
Laura: Yes, let's start from that point, all right everyone?
All: Right!
****
Blank: *reading* Well hello, little boy! Want to have some fun?
Zidane: I still think that sounds nasty...
Vivi: *ignoring Zidane* What sort of fun?
Zidane: *unsuccesfully trying not to laugh*
All: Shut up, Zidane!
Laura: Look, Monkey-boy, if you don't cooperate and stop making fun of my script, you'll end up dipped in chocolate and sent to Africa! Crickets are a delicacy there, you know!
Zidane: ULP!
Laura: All right then, go on.
Marcus: Oh, we'll have lots of fun! It will be much easier than school. You'll be successful with hardly any work at all!
Vivi: But what about s-school? Isn't that f-fun?
Blank: Are you kidding? It's so dull! You just sit around all day reading or working or listening to some old lady or guy blather on about something nobody cares about!
Vivi: Ew! I want to g-go with you!
Zidane: No, Vivi-kun! You have to go to school and learn things! You have to learn history and math and spelling and lots of important things!
Vivi: I can learn all that?! Wow!
Blank: It's useless! You should come with us!
Zidane: They're lying, you know...school is sooo much better!
Vivi: L-let's go to school, Zidane!
Marcus: ...There's free candy where we'll take you!
*Zidane and Vivi shrug*
Blank: ...And lots of beautiful, and very very easy girls.
*Zidane's eyes open wide*
Zidane: Wait, Vivi! I just remembered, school was closed today. It's a snow day!
Vivi: But it's the middle of May.
Zidane: *shrugs* Freak accident. Let's go with these two. Where are we going, anyway?
Marcus (dramatically): The Theatre! This boy is destined to be an actor!
Blank: Glamour! Fame! Fortune! Women! It'll all be yours!
Zidane: Yeah! Yeah! Let's go, let's go!
Vivi: *nods and smiles*
Laura: So Vivi and his incompetant conscience followed Blank and Marcus to the theatre, where they planned to sell the living puppet to their leader, the puppeteer Baku.