Sailor Senshi Deathmatch
Episode 2: Inner Senshi, Sailor Moon & Sailor Chibi Moon vs. The Animorphs and
Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill (uh… Ax)
By Fire Angel & Satan's Angel
Disclaimer: None of the characters in this deathmatch belong to us… except for Satan's Angel
(yeah, she's in this one). So don't go trying to sue us because… well, just don't. We know we
said all that crap before, but… oh well. We don't give a damn, and neither should you! Have fun,
and enjoy life! Beeeeeeee Happy! By the way, we haven't read any Animorphs books past #32, so
things mighta happened that we don't know about (although we know Visser Three is Visser One now).
So we guess that it's done from the vantage point of just after book #32. Yeah.
A Small Note from Fire Angel: Upon looking at the reviews for the last episode, I noticed that
some people were upset that we'd made Venus look like a mega tart/slut/whatever you would like to
call it. The reason we've done this, I guess, is cos we're exaggerating every character. Ami is
an analysis freak, Mako's… just Mako, Rei's a mega sarcastic bitch, and Usagi whines more than
usual. So Minako's a slut. There we go. Have fun! PS: A Barney episode *will* be coming up soon,
promise!
A Small Note from Satan's Angel: If you don't read Animorphs, some of this might be a little hard
to understand, though we've tried to make it as explanatory as we could without sounding
longwinded. Please review this story; we LOVE getting reviews, and we LOVE you! (Not in that way,
but… you know…)
Hotaru: Domo domo, minnasan! Welcome to the second episode of Sailor Senshi Deathmatch, the show
where our favourite female warriors kick… ahem… butt. I'm Tomoe Hotaru, the protector of the
planet of ruin. And with me today is, um, an… android by the name of Erek King.
Erek: Hi. Today's opponents for the Sailor Senshi are the Animorphs.
Hotaru: Animorphs? I beg your pardon?
Erek: The Animorphs are a group of five humans that fight an alien race, the Yeerks. They are
assisted by Aristh Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill, an Andalite from a faraway planet.
Hotaru: Aristh Aximili-who-what?
Erek: Just call him Ax. Anyway, these five humans are going to fight with their morphing power, a
gift given to them by a dying Andalite, Prince Elfangor-Sirinial-Shamtul.
Hotaru: *eyebrow raised* You're saying that these… humans… have the ability to turn into any
animal at will?
Erek: Sure, once they've acquired its DNA. Now, to introduce the Animorphs: Jake, Rachel, Tobias,
Cassie, Marco and Ax! Besides Ax, all of these warriors are human. Tobias, the hawk, has actually
been trapped in his morph… the price you pay for staying in a morph for more than two hours.
Marco: Woohoo! I always knew that we'd be on TV for this someday!
Aximili: Television? We're on television?! Are we young and restless?
Rachel: Ax, shut up. We are not on The Young and the Restless. This is Sailor Senshi Deathmatch,
and we're the challenging team! Yeehah, this is gonna be fun!
Hotaru: And everyone's favourite female warriors, the Sailor Senshi!
Sailor Senshi: Hontoni arigato, Hotaru-chan! Konnichiwa, minnasan!
Hotaru: Woohoo, on with the battle!
!!DING!!
Erek: The Animorphs start to morph their best battle morphs, while the Sailor Senshi stand there,
bewildered. Ax, meanwhile, is… Ax?! What the heck is he doing? Ax? Why in the world are you
morphing a human?
Aximili: *approaching Ami* Hello. I am Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill. I have been told that you are
extremely… exxx-treeeeee-mleeee intelligent. I therefore would like to find out if you know
anything… enn-eee-theeeng… about Sario Rips.
Mercury: *confused* Sa-riyo Rip? A variation in the use of a rip? What are you talking about, you
Andalite nincompoop?
Aximili: Nincompoop? Nincompoooooop? *angrily* do not call me a nincompooooop, you human fool. I
am talking about a Sario Rip, a rip in the flow of time. I remember the equations, where t is
time, z is zero-space, and w inversely cubed represents the nexus of…
Hotaru: SHUT UP, Andalite fil… I mean, shut up and fight, you strange creature. We want action
here! Action! Action action action! Come on Ami-chan, use your wit and kill all Andalites!
Erek: I beg your pardon? Kill all Andalites?
Hotaru: Ahhh… *sweatdrop* he was annoying me. Anyway, can we get on with this, now that your
precious Animorphs have finished transforming? Please?
Erek: Alrighty then, let's boogie. For those who have been watching Ax and Sailor Mercury, the
Animorphs have finished morphing! Jake is a tiger, Rachel is an elephant, Marco is a… cobra…
Cassie is a wolf. Tobias is still a hawk, and Ax is resuming Andalite form… ooh! And without
warning, Cassie lunges at Sailor Venus!
Cassie: This is for using make-up that's tested on animals!
Venus: Aah, no please don't! Not my face, not my face! NOT MY FACE!
Hotaru: Minako-sama, why don't you attack?! ATTACK, don't run, you imbecile! Sailor Venus, no…
stop running! Turn around and fight!!!
Erek: Great one, Hotaru. You just ruined a perfectly good running scene! Sailor Venus turns
boldly to face Cassie, who swipes her across the face!
Venus: Aaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiii! This is so unfair; my face got scratched last time! I'm gonna be
covered in scars! You bitch, Cassie! You're going to die for this! VENUS LOVE ME CHAIN!
From audience… Edgar Figaro (of Final Fantasy 6 fame): Love to love you, baby!
Mars: How come, every freaking episode, some guy hits on Minako-chan? (To the ground) Damn you,
you stupid creators of this thing. Why can't some really hot guy hit on me for once?!
From somewhere in the depths of hell… Satan's Angel: Because Minako is the slut of the sailor
senshi, brains. Now keep fighting or die.
Hotaru: While King Figaro has been doing his best to hit on Venus-sama, she has whipped her
love-heart chain around Cassie's neck and is… ooh, you could hear that a mile away… she just
broke Cassie's neck with a deafening crack!
Erek: Aah, no! Cassie, demorph! DEMORPH already, Cassie! Come on, this isn't happening! The
Animorphs can't lose!!!!
Jake: CAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Rachel: You fucking bitch, Venus! You're going to pay for this!
Hotaru: What the… what is Venus doing? She's beginning to use another attack on Cassie's already
almost dead body! *under her breath* Woohoo, go Venus. Hack her up with your sword or something.
Jake: CAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Erek: What was that?!
Hotaru: Err… nothing. Nothing at all… and Mars is running over, trying to stop Venus from using
the other attack… she's saying Cassie's dead already, let them have a body to bury… Mars, let her
attack, you fool! Disintegrate her!!! KILL!
Jake: CAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Erek: Mars is shaking Venus, trying to get her to stop… oooooohhhhhhh my God, this is disgusting…
Oh, I can't look…
Hotaru: Oh my God, Mars and Venus! Rachel just sat on Venus, and because her elephant butt is so
big… oh my God, she's standing up again… Mars and Venus are nothing more than bloody specks on
the floor of the arena.
Edgar: VVVEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!! No, you can't die! I love you too
much!
Jake: Dammitcassiemorphout!!!!! Comeonwakeupsnapoutofitalready! Youcan'tdiecassie! CASSIE!
Marco: Holy cow, this is not happening. This is so not happening!
Jupiter: Holy thunderbolts, I'm afraid it is. I'm so afraid it is! *pokes her tongue out at Marco
and then looks viciously at Rachel* How would you like to die for killing Rei and Minako? We'll
make elephant shish kabobs.
Marco: Rachel isn't going to die. You are, Jupiter. *mimics Jupiter* I am Sailor Marco, and in
the name of Planet Cobra, I will right wrongs and kill anyone by the name of Mako. And that…
means you!
Rachel: Good. You can start with her. Then bite yourself, too.
Marco: Shut-up, Xena. I will kill anyone by the name of MAKOTO… and that… means you, Sailor
Jupiter!
Eternal Moon: You stupid American buff, you. It's… 'In place of the Moon, I will punish you!',
not 'I will right wrongs and triumph over evil… and that means you!'. Man, those American guys
suck.
Hotaru: Cobra-man is staying extremely well hidden, I must say. Jupiter is talking to him but she
can't see him. In fact, I can't see him.
Erek: He's sitting on the back of Jupiter's right boot, about to bite her leg.
Hotaru: No he's not! No he's… oh my God, Sailor Jupiter! This is sooooo not happening. All the
Senshi are dying! No way! And… oh my God, Cassie's a human and she's fully okay again! This is so
unfair; they can heal themselves! Unbelievable.
Erek: Marco just bit Jupiter. Now she's dying. Dying… dead.
Marco: I'm afraid it IS happening, miss commentator.
Chibi Moon: Get your own phrase, you big meanie!
Aximili: Shut-up, you insecure little human girl. You are young and pink-headed. You are odd.
Very odd.
Chibi Moon: I'm not the one that's blue with a big disgusting tail and four hooves, you Andalite,
you!
Tobias: Leave Ax alone, pinkie! And stop dissing Andalites! I'm part Andalite! Prince Elfangor
was my FATHER! And he never TOLD me!!!!
A voice from the heavens… Fire Angel: Just a small note, all. Elfangor actually left a letter for
Tobias, detailing everything. You'll probably only understand that quip if you've read my Final
Fantasy 8 fic, Father. If you haven't read it, please do. And review, review, review!
*everyone gasps*
Erek: Well, Tobias' shocking outburst has caused Rachel to faint, squishing both Sailor Chibi
Moon and Sailor Moon. Well, that's five out of six senshi dead, four of them squished by Rachel.
A new record!
Hotaru: Erek, I'll be back in a moment. I have to go make a phone call. It's kind of important,
okay?
Erek: Why? Why are you making a phone call? The fight's not over yet! There's one more to go!
Hotaru: Sorry, Erek. I'll be back. It's ultra-important.
Erek: Err… okay. Cool. Ahem, I… am Erek King. I think you know that, but I just wanted to make
myself feel important. Anyway, the fight in the arena below has reached its climax, with only one
senshi standing against six Animorphs. The remaining senshi, Sailor Mercury, is heading
cautiously towards Aximili, her computer sitting gingerly in her hand.
Mercury: *clears throat nervously* Umm… hi. I know we got off to a bad start, but… er, I was
wondering if you'd let me join your little Animorph group. Uh, yeah. That's what I wanted to ask.
I'm VERY brainy, and I can come up with good solutions to any problems, and I'm good at strategic
work too. I know I don't have morphing powers, but… I am a Sailor Senshi!
Marco: Exactly, you're a Sailor Senshi. You die.
Jake: Ax. Kill her.
Aximili: But Prince Jake, with all due respect, she is being nice.
Tobias: Shut up, Ax. Kill her.
Aximili: But… the people who are young and restless never do such things.
Cassie: JUST DO IT!
Rachel: Ax, the 'people who are young and restless' kill nice people all the time. So if you
kill her, you'll be just like them.
Aximili: I'll be young and restless?
Cassie: And… we'll buy you a life-time supply of cinnamon buns.
Aximili: Cinnamon buns? Young and restless? In that case…
Erek: And with a loud swack, Mercury's head goes rolling across the arena. She's dead. The
Animorphs are declared the winners! From now on, this will be known as Animorphs Deathmatch,
where your favourite Yeerk-fighters go up against…
Hotaru: Not so fast, Chee!
Erek: Huh? Hotaru? What are you doing down on the arena? Just a warning… the Animorphs will
probably kill you.
Hotaru: You stupid fool. You stupid, stupid fool. Actually, Visser Three is the stupid fool. He
thought you were all Andalites. Oh well, you win some, you lose some.
Aximili: Yeerk? You're a Yeerk?
Hotaru: Visser Two. Pleased to meet you.
Jake: You think you can capture us, just on your own?
Visser Two: *laughing* I'm not on my own, human. Surrounding this arena, and outside, are plenty
of Hork-Bajir warriors. There are also several human-Controllers in the audience.
Edgar: *mocking* Hello, my little Animorphs.
Visser Two: Shut-up. Somebody kill him for me. Anyway, *smiling as a Dracon beam disintegrates
Edgar* you can either come peacefully or be forced.
Rachel: You'll never take us alive!
Visser Two: We'll see about that. Remember our old friends, the Helmacrons? Well, we stole their
little shrinking ray. So, big bad elephants aren't really a threat to us. We'll just un-shrink
you when we get to the Yeerk pool.
Cassie: You won't get away with this!
Visser Two: Oh, I think we will. Chapman, get that shrinking ray in here!
Chapman: *coming down from the audience* I honestly can't believe that these children from my own
school were involved with all of this! *gives Visser Two the shrinking ray*
Visser Two: Chee, you're the commentator. Commentate!
Erek: Uhh… well… uhh… Visser Two just shrunk the Animorphs, and they're carrying them off in a
jar… all except for Ax. They've stuck him in a cage, and they're unshrinking them again. What are
they doing?
Visser Two: Hah-hah! Visser Three will not be the only Yeerk with an Andalite host body now!
Hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!
Aximili: NOOOOOOOOO, Yeerk filth!
Erek: Oh my God, Ax is screaming his head off as Visser Two leaves Hotaru's head and enters his
own… oh, God. Aximili Esgarrouth Isthill is a Yeerk. Oh my God.
Hotaru: Oh, no! What's happened? Oh God, this is terrible!!!!
Erek: *coming down to the arena* Yeah, I know. The world is doomed.
Hotaru: Not that! The senshi are dead…
Visser Two: Hah-hah!!!! The world is doomed to fall to the Yeerks. Finally, we will have taken
over the human race… all thanks to me, Visser Two. Soon to be Visser One, now that that human
fool has been demoted.
Hotaru: Hang in there, Sailor Senshi! I can fix it all up again. *closes her eyes and starts to
focus on her healing powers*
Erek: Oh my God, the senshi are coming back to life… and bit by bit, Hotaru is fading away!!
She's becoming a little girl! The senshi are alive, but Hotaru is a little girl. Whoa, this is
way out of my league. I'm leaving.
Visser Two: What extraordinary powers.
Young Hotaru: Yaaayyyy!!!!! All the senshi are alive again!!! Yaaaaayyyy! The senshi win, the
senshi win!!!! Yaaayyyyyy!
Eternal Moon: *laughs* Well, as you can see, the senshi have once again prevailed. See you next
time, but for now, ja mata!
Episode 2: Inner Senshi, Sailor Moon & Sailor Chibi Moon vs. The Animorphs and
Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill (uh… Ax)
By Fire Angel & Satan's Angel
Disclaimer: None of the characters in this deathmatch belong to us… except for Satan's Angel
(yeah, she's in this one). So don't go trying to sue us because… well, just don't. We know we
said all that crap before, but… oh well. We don't give a damn, and neither should you! Have fun,
and enjoy life! Beeeeeeee Happy! By the way, we haven't read any Animorphs books past #32, so
things mighta happened that we don't know about (although we know Visser Three is Visser One now).
So we guess that it's done from the vantage point of just after book #32. Yeah.
A Small Note from Fire Angel: Upon looking at the reviews for the last episode, I noticed that
some people were upset that we'd made Venus look like a mega tart/slut/whatever you would like to
call it. The reason we've done this, I guess, is cos we're exaggerating every character. Ami is
an analysis freak, Mako's… just Mako, Rei's a mega sarcastic bitch, and Usagi whines more than
usual. So Minako's a slut. There we go. Have fun! PS: A Barney episode *will* be coming up soon,
promise!
A Small Note from Satan's Angel: If you don't read Animorphs, some of this might be a little hard
to understand, though we've tried to make it as explanatory as we could without sounding
longwinded. Please review this story; we LOVE getting reviews, and we LOVE you! (Not in that way,
but… you know…)
Hotaru: Domo domo, minnasan! Welcome to the second episode of Sailor Senshi Deathmatch, the show
where our favourite female warriors kick… ahem… butt. I'm Tomoe Hotaru, the protector of the
planet of ruin. And with me today is, um, an… android by the name of Erek King.
Erek: Hi. Today's opponents for the Sailor Senshi are the Animorphs.
Hotaru: Animorphs? I beg your pardon?
Erek: The Animorphs are a group of five humans that fight an alien race, the Yeerks. They are
assisted by Aristh Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill, an Andalite from a faraway planet.
Hotaru: Aristh Aximili-who-what?
Erek: Just call him Ax. Anyway, these five humans are going to fight with their morphing power, a
gift given to them by a dying Andalite, Prince Elfangor-Sirinial-Shamtul.
Hotaru: *eyebrow raised* You're saying that these… humans… have the ability to turn into any
animal at will?
Erek: Sure, once they've acquired its DNA. Now, to introduce the Animorphs: Jake, Rachel, Tobias,
Cassie, Marco and Ax! Besides Ax, all of these warriors are human. Tobias, the hawk, has actually
been trapped in his morph… the price you pay for staying in a morph for more than two hours.
Marco: Woohoo! I always knew that we'd be on TV for this someday!
Aximili: Television? We're on television?! Are we young and restless?
Rachel: Ax, shut up. We are not on The Young and the Restless. This is Sailor Senshi Deathmatch,
and we're the challenging team! Yeehah, this is gonna be fun!
Hotaru: And everyone's favourite female warriors, the Sailor Senshi!
Sailor Senshi: Hontoni arigato, Hotaru-chan! Konnichiwa, minnasan!
Hotaru: Woohoo, on with the battle!
!!DING!!
Erek: The Animorphs start to morph their best battle morphs, while the Sailor Senshi stand there,
bewildered. Ax, meanwhile, is… Ax?! What the heck is he doing? Ax? Why in the world are you
morphing a human?
Aximili: *approaching Ami* Hello. I am Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill. I have been told that you are
extremely… exxx-treeeeee-mleeee intelligent. I therefore would like to find out if you know
anything… enn-eee-theeeng… about Sario Rips.
Mercury: *confused* Sa-riyo Rip? A variation in the use of a rip? What are you talking about, you
Andalite nincompoop?
Aximili: Nincompoop? Nincompoooooop? *angrily* do not call me a nincompooooop, you human fool. I
am talking about a Sario Rip, a rip in the flow of time. I remember the equations, where t is
time, z is zero-space, and w inversely cubed represents the nexus of…
Hotaru: SHUT UP, Andalite fil… I mean, shut up and fight, you strange creature. We want action
here! Action! Action action action! Come on Ami-chan, use your wit and kill all Andalites!
Erek: I beg your pardon? Kill all Andalites?
Hotaru: Ahhh… *sweatdrop* he was annoying me. Anyway, can we get on with this, now that your
precious Animorphs have finished transforming? Please?
Erek: Alrighty then, let's boogie. For those who have been watching Ax and Sailor Mercury, the
Animorphs have finished morphing! Jake is a tiger, Rachel is an elephant, Marco is a… cobra…
Cassie is a wolf. Tobias is still a hawk, and Ax is resuming Andalite form… ooh! And without
warning, Cassie lunges at Sailor Venus!
Cassie: This is for using make-up that's tested on animals!
Venus: Aah, no please don't! Not my face, not my face! NOT MY FACE!
Hotaru: Minako-sama, why don't you attack?! ATTACK, don't run, you imbecile! Sailor Venus, no…
stop running! Turn around and fight!!!
Erek: Great one, Hotaru. You just ruined a perfectly good running scene! Sailor Venus turns
boldly to face Cassie, who swipes her across the face!
Venus: Aaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiii! This is so unfair; my face got scratched last time! I'm gonna be
covered in scars! You bitch, Cassie! You're going to die for this! VENUS LOVE ME CHAIN!
From audience… Edgar Figaro (of Final Fantasy 6 fame): Love to love you, baby!
Mars: How come, every freaking episode, some guy hits on Minako-chan? (To the ground) Damn you,
you stupid creators of this thing. Why can't some really hot guy hit on me for once?!
From somewhere in the depths of hell… Satan's Angel: Because Minako is the slut of the sailor
senshi, brains. Now keep fighting or die.
Hotaru: While King Figaro has been doing his best to hit on Venus-sama, she has whipped her
love-heart chain around Cassie's neck and is… ooh, you could hear that a mile away… she just
broke Cassie's neck with a deafening crack!
Erek: Aah, no! Cassie, demorph! DEMORPH already, Cassie! Come on, this isn't happening! The
Animorphs can't lose!!!!
Jake: CAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Rachel: You fucking bitch, Venus! You're going to pay for this!
Hotaru: What the… what is Venus doing? She's beginning to use another attack on Cassie's already
almost dead body! *under her breath* Woohoo, go Venus. Hack her up with your sword or something.
Jake: CAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Erek: What was that?!
Hotaru: Err… nothing. Nothing at all… and Mars is running over, trying to stop Venus from using
the other attack… she's saying Cassie's dead already, let them have a body to bury… Mars, let her
attack, you fool! Disintegrate her!!! KILL!
Jake: CAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Erek: Mars is shaking Venus, trying to get her to stop… oooooohhhhhhh my God, this is disgusting…
Oh, I can't look…
Hotaru: Oh my God, Mars and Venus! Rachel just sat on Venus, and because her elephant butt is so
big… oh my God, she's standing up again… Mars and Venus are nothing more than bloody specks on
the floor of the arena.
Edgar: VVVEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!! No, you can't die! I love you too
much!
Jake: Dammitcassiemorphout!!!!! Comeonwakeupsnapoutofitalready! Youcan'tdiecassie! CASSIE!
Marco: Holy cow, this is not happening. This is so not happening!
Jupiter: Holy thunderbolts, I'm afraid it is. I'm so afraid it is! *pokes her tongue out at Marco
and then looks viciously at Rachel* How would you like to die for killing Rei and Minako? We'll
make elephant shish kabobs.
Marco: Rachel isn't going to die. You are, Jupiter. *mimics Jupiter* I am Sailor Marco, and in
the name of Planet Cobra, I will right wrongs and kill anyone by the name of Mako. And that…
means you!
Rachel: Good. You can start with her. Then bite yourself, too.
Marco: Shut-up, Xena. I will kill anyone by the name of MAKOTO… and that… means you, Sailor
Jupiter!
Eternal Moon: You stupid American buff, you. It's… 'In place of the Moon, I will punish you!',
not 'I will right wrongs and triumph over evil… and that means you!'. Man, those American guys
suck.
Hotaru: Cobra-man is staying extremely well hidden, I must say. Jupiter is talking to him but she
can't see him. In fact, I can't see him.
Erek: He's sitting on the back of Jupiter's right boot, about to bite her leg.
Hotaru: No he's not! No he's… oh my God, Sailor Jupiter! This is sooooo not happening. All the
Senshi are dying! No way! And… oh my God, Cassie's a human and she's fully okay again! This is so
unfair; they can heal themselves! Unbelievable.
Erek: Marco just bit Jupiter. Now she's dying. Dying… dead.
Marco: I'm afraid it IS happening, miss commentator.
Chibi Moon: Get your own phrase, you big meanie!
Aximili: Shut-up, you insecure little human girl. You are young and pink-headed. You are odd.
Very odd.
Chibi Moon: I'm not the one that's blue with a big disgusting tail and four hooves, you Andalite,
you!
Tobias: Leave Ax alone, pinkie! And stop dissing Andalites! I'm part Andalite! Prince Elfangor
was my FATHER! And he never TOLD me!!!!
A voice from the heavens… Fire Angel: Just a small note, all. Elfangor actually left a letter for
Tobias, detailing everything. You'll probably only understand that quip if you've read my Final
Fantasy 8 fic, Father. If you haven't read it, please do. And review, review, review!
*everyone gasps*
Erek: Well, Tobias' shocking outburst has caused Rachel to faint, squishing both Sailor Chibi
Moon and Sailor Moon. Well, that's five out of six senshi dead, four of them squished by Rachel.
A new record!
Hotaru: Erek, I'll be back in a moment. I have to go make a phone call. It's kind of important,
okay?
Erek: Why? Why are you making a phone call? The fight's not over yet! There's one more to go!
Hotaru: Sorry, Erek. I'll be back. It's ultra-important.
Erek: Err… okay. Cool. Ahem, I… am Erek King. I think you know that, but I just wanted to make
myself feel important. Anyway, the fight in the arena below has reached its climax, with only one
senshi standing against six Animorphs. The remaining senshi, Sailor Mercury, is heading
cautiously towards Aximili, her computer sitting gingerly in her hand.
Mercury: *clears throat nervously* Umm… hi. I know we got off to a bad start, but… er, I was
wondering if you'd let me join your little Animorph group. Uh, yeah. That's what I wanted to ask.
I'm VERY brainy, and I can come up with good solutions to any problems, and I'm good at strategic
work too. I know I don't have morphing powers, but… I am a Sailor Senshi!
Marco: Exactly, you're a Sailor Senshi. You die.
Jake: Ax. Kill her.
Aximili: But Prince Jake, with all due respect, she is being nice.
Tobias: Shut up, Ax. Kill her.
Aximili: But… the people who are young and restless never do such things.
Cassie: JUST DO IT!
Rachel: Ax, the 'people who are young and restless' kill nice people all the time. So if you
kill her, you'll be just like them.
Aximili: I'll be young and restless?
Cassie: And… we'll buy you a life-time supply of cinnamon buns.
Aximili: Cinnamon buns? Young and restless? In that case…
Erek: And with a loud swack, Mercury's head goes rolling across the arena. She's dead. The
Animorphs are declared the winners! From now on, this will be known as Animorphs Deathmatch,
where your favourite Yeerk-fighters go up against…
Hotaru: Not so fast, Chee!
Erek: Huh? Hotaru? What are you doing down on the arena? Just a warning… the Animorphs will
probably kill you.
Hotaru: You stupid fool. You stupid, stupid fool. Actually, Visser Three is the stupid fool. He
thought you were all Andalites. Oh well, you win some, you lose some.
Aximili: Yeerk? You're a Yeerk?
Hotaru: Visser Two. Pleased to meet you.
Jake: You think you can capture us, just on your own?
Visser Two: *laughing* I'm not on my own, human. Surrounding this arena, and outside, are plenty
of Hork-Bajir warriors. There are also several human-Controllers in the audience.
Edgar: *mocking* Hello, my little Animorphs.
Visser Two: Shut-up. Somebody kill him for me. Anyway, *smiling as a Dracon beam disintegrates
Edgar* you can either come peacefully or be forced.
Rachel: You'll never take us alive!
Visser Two: We'll see about that. Remember our old friends, the Helmacrons? Well, we stole their
little shrinking ray. So, big bad elephants aren't really a threat to us. We'll just un-shrink
you when we get to the Yeerk pool.
Cassie: You won't get away with this!
Visser Two: Oh, I think we will. Chapman, get that shrinking ray in here!
Chapman: *coming down from the audience* I honestly can't believe that these children from my own
school were involved with all of this! *gives Visser Two the shrinking ray*
Visser Two: Chee, you're the commentator. Commentate!
Erek: Uhh… well… uhh… Visser Two just shrunk the Animorphs, and they're carrying them off in a
jar… all except for Ax. They've stuck him in a cage, and they're unshrinking them again. What are
they doing?
Visser Two: Hah-hah! Visser Three will not be the only Yeerk with an Andalite host body now!
Hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!
Aximili: NOOOOOOOOO, Yeerk filth!
Erek: Oh my God, Ax is screaming his head off as Visser Two leaves Hotaru's head and enters his
own… oh, God. Aximili Esgarrouth Isthill is a Yeerk. Oh my God.
Hotaru: Oh, no! What's happened? Oh God, this is terrible!!!!
Erek: *coming down to the arena* Yeah, I know. The world is doomed.
Hotaru: Not that! The senshi are dead…
Visser Two: Hah-hah!!!! The world is doomed to fall to the Yeerks. Finally, we will have taken
over the human race… all thanks to me, Visser Two. Soon to be Visser One, now that that human
fool has been demoted.
Hotaru: Hang in there, Sailor Senshi! I can fix it all up again. *closes her eyes and starts to
focus on her healing powers*
Erek: Oh my God, the senshi are coming back to life… and bit by bit, Hotaru is fading away!!
She's becoming a little girl! The senshi are alive, but Hotaru is a little girl. Whoa, this is
way out of my league. I'm leaving.
Visser Two: What extraordinary powers.
Young Hotaru: Yaaayyyy!!!!! All the senshi are alive again!!! Yaaaaayyyy! The senshi win, the
senshi win!!!! Yaaayyyyyy!
Eternal Moon: *laughs* Well, as you can see, the senshi have once again prevailed. See you next
time, but for now, ja mata!