Discalimer: (I forgot one for ch2, so this applies for that too) I don't own FF8. I'm too depressed to say something funny.
Fatal Misunderstanding
Chapter 3
An hour later, Squall was feeling more depressed than he had ever thought possible. He just couldn't figure out why Rinoa wanted to end the relationship. It must be his fault, but what had he done wrong?
He went over the possibilities in his head, and none of them made sense. It wasn't his lack of commitment, that was for sure. When Rinoa had mentioned marriage a few months ago, he had agreed that it was a good idea. And it wasn't that he was moving to fast either. He hadn't pressured her into anything, but waited until she was ready. There was one other reason in his head, but unless she was the best actress ever, he knew he was satisfying her in bed.
'But maybe someone else is even better' replied the small, annoying voice in the back of his head. 'After all, with all the guys in Balamb garden, you didn't think she'd be loyal forever, did you?'
But that was exactly what he had thought. And what he still thought. Rinoa just wasn't the cheating type. So what could it be?
He guessed it didn't matter. For whatever reason, it was over. She would probably come to his dorm later that night, and tell him they needed to talk. She'd say something like, "It's not you, it's me," or "I just don't think it's working out." And then of course, she'd tell him, "I still want to be friends," and he would agree. But they wouldn't be friends. They would feel uncomfortable around each other, and eventually, would completely forget each other.
At least, that was what he wanted to happen. He wanted to just forget her, and move on. Maybe get another girlfriend, and eventually marry her. But he knew it wouldn't happen. No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't accept the fact that he would have to live without Rinoa. 'You shouldn't be surprised,' spoke up the voice in his head, 'After all, no one you care about ever stays with you. And once you and Rinoa break up, Zell, Selphie, Quistis, and the rest of them will all take her side, and you'll be completely alone again.'
The thought shouldn't have upset him. He'd been alone, and doing fine, until he became a SeeD, and he had continued thinking he didn't need anyone right up until the battle with Ultimecia. So why was it that now, when he thought of losing everyone again, he felt tears brimming in the corners of his eyes?
He wiped the tears away, and turned off his light. It was only seven o'clock, and he hadn't eaten since lunch, but he didn't care. He just wanted to go to sleep and forget everything. In fact, he realized, what the really wanted was to go to sleep and not wake up.
~~~~~
He didn't get what he wanted. He did wake up, at exactly nine thirty the next morning. It was Saturday, so there were no classes. It was a good thing too, because he knew there was no way he could concentrate today.
He was supposed to be meeting Zell in the training center after lunch, but there was no way he could face anyone today. In fact, there was no way he was going to leave his dorm. It was the only place where he could be sure of not seeing Rinoa.
The phone rang, and he picked it up. "Hello sir," said a voice on the other end, "Would you like to buy..." Squall hung up. A second later, it rang again. "I'm sorry, we got disconnected," the voice said, "As I was saying.."
"Fuck off," Squall told the man, before hanging up again. The man apparently got the message, because the phone stayed silent. Squall sat on his bed, wondering what to do. He walked over to his closet, to get some clothes. But even dressing seemed like too much effort. Everything did. So he just fell back on the bed, and lay there, trying to think.
Why was it bothering him so much? He was supposed to be the antisocial jerk who pushed everyone away. He wasn't supposed to care, and he definitely wasn't supposed to be lying on his bed in his boxers, too depressed to do anything, just because his girlfriend was leaving him.
He tried to snap out of it, but couldn't. There were too many memories. The SeeD graduation ball, the time he had carried her away from Balamb garden on his back when she was in a coma, realizing he loved her and going into space to save her, and, most of all, the kiss they had shared during the celebration party after time compression.
He wished that he hadn't made the decision to stop using Guardian forces. If he had kept them, maybe he wouldn't remember, and maybe he'd be able to shrug this off, like he had with so many other things.
He tried to convince himself it wasn't the end of the world. After all, that was life. As long as you were alive, bad things would happen. 'Then again,' spoke up the pathetically annoying voice in the back of his mind, 'Once you stop living, the bad things stop.'
For once, that pathetic little voice had said something worth listening to.
End of Chapter 3
Author's notes: It's been a whole six minutes since I wrote the author's notes for chapter two, and I'm still depressed. Even my usual depression cure (listening to "bodies" by drowning pool) isn't working. Maybe I'll try some Eminem. Oh by the way, I don't own any of those songs or artists.