"Dimensional Whiplash"
By Aleenia Rheese

Chapter Twelve - The Clown Returns...

In Terra's World...

Somewhere in Figaro Desert

Terra took a step back. "No... no, you're dead! You died! We destroyed you!" she cried, eyes wide with fear.


To Aleenia Rheese, the man who stepped out of the portal seemed to be a short, blond clown without his face paint. His clothes were a large, green robe over puffy red pants and red boots. His shirt was yellow and puffy as well.


She stared. "Who the hell is that clown?!" she muttered. Sabin, who had pulled his mount close to Alie as if to protect her, gasped. He gulped when the 'clown' turned his crazy-eyed stare at the group. The 'clown' grinned.


"Oh, my my! Hee ho, this little girl has a bit of a smart mouth!" he said in his high-pitched voice. "Hmmmm… strange how this kid doesn't know who I am, though!"

Edgar leapt off Kork, his chocobo, and ran up next to Terra. "How the hell did you survive, Kefka?!" he yelled, blue eyes flashing. His blonde hair stood practically on end.

Alie gasped. "You're Kefka?!" she began. "Sabin, I thought you guys said he was dead! Jesus, Mary and Joseph!" She gaped at the short man about forty feet away. Oi, she thought, and I thought it was gonna be a good day! Craaaap!

Kefka laughed, high-pitched, squeaky laughter, that hurt everyone's ears. "Oh-ho! So the young child has heard of me! Good! Then she should know what I can do!" He raised his hand, and, grinning, screamed, "ICE 3!"

Alie felt the sensation of being knocked out of her saddle, and being narrowly missed by something very bad, and very cold. Looking up, she saw that Sabin had saved her. But he was staring where she was a moment before. Alie swiveled her head to see behind them, and screamed.

Eevee, in a rearing position, was now an ice sculpture. "NO!" Alie cried. She rushed over to the now-frozen bird. The girl touched the ice gingerly. That was almost me... she thought.

Kefka cackled maniacally. Terra clenched her fists. "Leave Alie alone! She had absolutely nothing to do with the War!" she exclaimed. Kefka only laughed harder.
Until his nose was broke by a large, sun-heated rock, followed by another.

Relm was now up in front, and hopping mad. "You jerk! I named that bird!" The little teenager threw the rock in her hand. This one didn't make it quite as far. In a flash,

Relm's rock was fried in a red beam. "Uh oh..."

The beam blasted forward and sent Relm Arrowny flying. She screamed. The scream was mixed with shouts from her friends, her granddad, and her father.

Alie ran to the younger girl's side. Checking her pulse, Alie sighed in relief. Only unconscious. "You cow-@#$%ing son of a bitch!" she screamed. "What the hell is your major malfunction, you sick freak! I oughtta tear you a new piehole!" All the years of being a military brat were paying off. Mr. Alexander Thornton Rheese had the most colorful tongue in the Air Force. Alie learned from the best.


Kefka choked in anger. His face turned red. He screamed in rage. Locke was staring at Alie in awe (at her colorful language. He didn't expect it from such a young woman), his eyes filled with fear brought on by Kefka's screech.


"YOU WILL PAY, KID! YOU JUST WAIT! I'LL GET YOU FOR THAT! YOU'LL DIE SLOWLY, ONCE I DECIDE HOW!" With that, Kefka was gone.


All of the Returners, excluding the unconscious Relm, were staring at Aleenia. "What?"

South Figaro's Inn

At the inn in South Figaro, Edgar was giving Terra and Alie both long, LONG lectures on the do's and don'ts of dealing with a very powerful maniac. Relm was recovering nicely from her assault with the help of an X-Potion.


Sabin leaned over to Locke, saying, "And it's usually Cyan who gives the boring lectures." To this, the 'Treasure Hunter' nodded. Celes was off somewhere buying some supplies. Alie looked about ready to fall asleep.


"And never, ever mock someone like Kefka, Alie! Now you're a prime target for him! And you, Terra! You should know better than to jump in front of the group! That makes it very easy for our enemies to separate us!" Edgar was saying.


Oh, God! Alie thought. He's even worse than Dad! Even Berk didn't talk so much! Hmm. Berk. He was kinda cute. So was that new boy, Raoul... Alie's mind wandered off down the long, lovely road into the wonderful world of guys, guys, guys.


Pretty soon, Celes was back. Her arms were full of supplies. She shoved the young king out of her way, and dumped the pile next to Alie and Terra. Alie jumped nearly ten feet in the air. "Wha-what's that?!" she asked.


Celes pulled a wicked looking sword out of the pile. "You are going to learn to use this. You will also be taught some basic magic for your own protection," she said. Her tone of voice left no room for argument. Locke chuckled softly.


Cyan spoke up. "I wilst teach the lass th'art of swordplay." He took the light sword from Celes, analyzing it. "Aye, this shall do for a beginner, such as the lass."


"Ahem, the 'lass'? Excuse me?" Alie said. "And who says I'm gonna learn to use a sword?! No-ho, way! No thank you! I appreciate the gesture, um, Cyan, but I don't think so!" She jumped out of her chair, and made for the door. A strong hand grabbed her wrist. "Hey!"


"You obviously don't get it," Sabin replied, his booming voice shrinking Alie to a bite-sized worm. She had a tendency to be intimidated. "You were dumb enough to talk nasty to Kefka - he isn't happy. And I don't think he makes idle threats, Alie."


She shook her hand free. "Look, I don't plan on being here that long. I will find a way to get home, Sabin. You just watch." With that, Alie stormed off. Which was pretty dumb, considering she didn't know her way around South Figaro.


Strago shook his head. "That young woman has a shorter fuse than Relm!"


Off in an alley, Aleenia leaned against the inn's wall, out of sight, crying. I'm full of it. I'll never get home...

________________________________________________________________________

Will Alie get home? Will Sam? How can two dead guys still be alive? Is it just me, or was Sabin being a bit harsh? Is it a) out of worry for Alie, b) the stressful day they have been having, or c) he got up on the wrong side of the bed? Find out in the next chapter [maybe] of Dimensional Whiplash!