Sailor Senshi Deathmatch
Episode 4: The Inner Senshi & Usagi vs. The Inner Scouts & Serena
By Fire Angel & Satan's Angel
Disclaimer: None of the characters in this deathmatch belong to us. So don't go trying to sue us
because… well, just don't. We know that this disclaimer is practically identical than any other
one, but if you e-mail us and tell us that… you'll die, just like 'Mister Happy' did in episode
three. Anyway, enjoy! Ja ne!
A Very Small Note from Fire Angel: I know this sort of thing has been done before (as in Japanese
senshi vs. American scouts) and frankly, I don't give a damn. Satan's Angel and I wanted to add
the 'Angelic Touch', as I like to call it. So go screw yourself before even thinking about
complaining (please don't take that the wrong way; I love all my fans and don't wanna lose any).
A Very Small Note from Satan's Angel: Hi. Please excuse Fire Angel's 'don't give a damn'
attitude. And as for the 'go screw yourself and don't take it the wrong way' business, I think
that's a little too gross, if ya know what I mean. Well, I'd like to say a quick… AMERICA CAN'T
DUB FOR SHIT!!! And I'll seeya in hell!!! bAi bAi.
Chibi-Usa: Heeeeeeeellllllllooooo!!!!!! Welcome to episode four of Sailor Senshi Deathmatch, the
show where my mama and her friends kick a…
From the audience… Neo-Queen Serenity: Don't say that word, honey.
Chibi-Usa: *sweatdrop* Bottom. Anyway, I'm Tsukino Chibi-Usa, who everyone knows as the cutest
warrior around, Sailor Chibi Moon! Yay!!!!
Rini: You're not the cutest warrior around, I am! I am Rini, otherwise known as Sailor Mini Moon
and you're taking my hairstyle!
Chibi-Usa: I am not taking your hairstyle, it's my mama's. But anyway, in case you haven't
guessed, our challengers for the Sailor Senshi are… err… the Sailor… umm… er, sorry, I can't read
English very well… Skurts? The Sailor Skurts?
Rini: It's not Skurts, it's Scouts, you dumba…
From the audience… the other Neo-Queen Serenity: Don't say that word, honey.
Rini: *sweatdrop* Bottom. You dumbbottom, you.
Chibi-Usa: *sweatdrop* Okay, so for today's battle, we have the super-cool Inner Senshi with my
mama! Usagi-sama, Ami-sama, Rei-sama, Mako-sama and Minako-sama!
Inner Senshi: Konnichiwa, minnasan!
Rini: And the challengers, the even cooler Inner Scouts, with my mommy! Serena, Amy, Raye, Lita
and Mina!
Inner Scouts: Err… Hello.
Rini: Woohoo! Let the battle begin!
!!DING!!
Serena: Quick girls, let's transform before they do! Moon Crystal Power!
Amy: Mercury Star Power!
Raye: Mars Star Power!
Lita: Jupiter Star Power!
Mina: Venus Star Power!
Inner Scouts: Sailor Scout Power!
Rini: Yay! They did it before yours, they did it before yours! Nah nah nah nah nah!
Chibi-Usa: That's only because MY mama's is more impressive! Come on, Sailor Senshi, transform
already!
Usagi: You heard her girls! Let's go! Moon Eternal, Make Up!
Ami: Mercury Crystal Power, Make Up!
Rei: Mars Crystal Power, Make Up!
Makoto: Jupiter Crystal Power, Make Up!
Minako: Venus Crystal Power, Make Up!
Inner Scouts: *sweatdrops* Eh?
Sailor Moon: I have a feeling they are far more powerful than us. Waaaaahhhhh, I wanna be more
powerful than they are!
Eternal Moon: You will never be more powerful than us! Because we are the original Sailor Senshi!
You… are just a cheap copy with a screwed up voice! I don't like it when people rip on my show!
For love and justice, I am the pretty, sailor-suited fighter, Sailor Moon! In place of the moon,
I will punish you!
Sailor Moon: No, it's… I am Sailor Moon, champion of luurrve and justice. In the name of the
Moon, I will right wrongs and triumph over evil… and that means you!
Rini: Hurry up and pull her hair or something, mommy!
Sailor Moon: Oh, heaps cool idea! Thanks, Rini!
*Sailor Moon pulls Eternal Moon's hair. With a cry of anger, Eternal Moon pulls Sailor Moon's
hair. Sailor Moon pulls Eternal Moon's hair again. It continues*
Chibi-Usa: *sweatdrop* Uhh… mama? Mama, pulling her hair isn't going to hurt her much. Mama?
*sighs* Well, come on, Ami-sama, give Amy something to weep about!
Rini: Amy! Use Mercury Bubbles Blast or something!
Chibi-Usa: Mercury what what? What's th… oh. It's Shabon Spray. Well, folks, Dub Sailor Mercury
just used… er… Mercury Bubbles Blast… which is commonly known as Shabon Spray. There's one small
thing she forgot though… Ami-chan is also Sailor Mercury… she can see through it.
Super Mercury: Try this on for size, you weak copy of myself! *pulls out her harp* Mercury Aqua
Rhapsody!
Sailor Mercury: What's Mercury Aqua Rhapsody? AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Chibi-Usa: Heehee! Ami-sama's copy has just been frozen! Heehee!
Super Mercury: Mercury Aqua Magic!
Rini: No! Amy! Ewwwwwww… oh yuck, that's disgusting.
Chibi-Usa: *cheerfully* For those who had to turn away from the television set, Ami-sama's attack
was too much for her frozen double, who exploded upon impact. Now there's bits of frozen Sailor
Mercury all over the arena.
Super Mercury: Oops.
Rini: Oops is right! You just killed Amy! AMMMMMYYYYYYYY, WAKE UP!!!!!
Chibi-Usa: She's not gonna wake up, Rini.
Rini: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
Chibi-Usa: Okay, let's see what Rei-sama and Mirror Mars are doing. Ooohh… this is interesting.
Their powers seem to be almost evenly matched. Seeing as Raye also has the fire power within her,
her power seems to be building off of Rei-sama's…
Rini: Maybe Raye'll become strong enough and kill Rei!
Chibi-Usa: I don't think so, little copy of me. *pats Rini on the head* I don't think so, but
it's nice to dream, I guess.
Sailor Mars: Why do you keep attacking me? You realise I'm just absorbing your power and becoming
even stronger than ever.
Super Mars: Yeah, I know.
Sailor Mars: Then why are you doing it? Are you stupid?
Super Mars: Y'know, if I'm stupid, so are you, because you're based on me. And to answer your
question, no, I'm not stupid. You've fallen right into my trap.
Sailor Mars: *blankly* What trap?
Super Mars: *sweatdrop* Oh, how can my own double be so… vague? Well, Raye, I've got something
interesting in store for you! Rin, pyou, tou, sha, kai, jin, retsu, sai, zen... Akuryo Taisan!
Rini: Oh no, what's going on?! One of Amy's exploded hands has flown up and is strangling Raye!
Hey, that mystical power is only supposed to be used for good!
Chibi-Usa: That's in your crappy dub. This ain't no crappy dub. This is the real thing, you
little fu…
The REAL Neo-Queen Serenity: SMALL LADY!
Chibi-Usa: Funny person you. Anyway, Rei-sama is right; Dubby Mars has fallen right into her
trap! The stupid version of Sailor Mars uses a fire attack to blow the hand off… which is pretty
stupid, considering the fact she's been absorbing all that energy…
Rini: Aaahhhhh! Oh no, she's burning to death! Oh, this is horrible!
Chibi-Usa: STAY STILL WHILE YOU BURN, DUB RAYE! YOU'LL MAKE SOMETHING CATCH ON FIRE!
Rini: Oh no, she's made Lita catch on fire! Someone, put Lita out, or she'll burn to death too!
Sailor Moon: *stops pulling Eternal Moon's hair* Don't worry, Lita! I'll save you! Does anyone
have any water?
Super Jupiter: *pulling a bucket out of nowhere* Here ya go. Use this.
Rini: Well, gee Makoto, that was pretty stupid. You just stopped another Scout from dying… I
wouldn't be surprised if your friends kill you!
Super Jupiter: I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't! Supreme Thunder!
Rini: Ohhh… NOOOOOOOO, LITA!
Chibi-Usa: That Andy Heyward dude has really made you lot stupid, hasn't he? I can't believe
Moonbrain and Thunderhead fell for it!
Rini: Stop calling my mommy stupid, you sh…
The FAKE Neo-Queen Serenity: RINI!
Rini: Sugar-plum fairy, you.
Chibi-Usa: Meanwhile, the two Venuses seem to have decided that they are equally matched, and
have turned to the audience to pick who they like best.
From the audience… Zidane Tribal (Final Fantasy 9): Hey, you. The guy with the cowboy hat and big
jacket. Which one do you like better?
From the audience… Irvine Kinneas (Final Fantasy 8): Either one, as long as she'll give me sex.
Zidane: Yeah, man. I totally agree with you.
Rini: Mina! Offer them sex, and then they'll let you kill Minako!
Sailor Venus: *anxiously* Oh Rini, I can't do that! I have SO many American girls looking up to
me, and it would ruin my image TOTALLY if I did that! Oh, I can't do that, I just can't!
Super Venus: *raises an eyebrow as she hitches her skirt up just a little higher* I'll give you
sex.
*every single male member of the audience starts to look just a little horny*
From the audience… The guys: YESSSS, GO JAPANESE VENUS!!!!
From the audience… Selphie Tilmitt (Final Fantasy 8): That's it, I've had enough of you, Venus!
You're always, always, ALWAYS flirting with my guy! *pulls out her nunchakus* Well, I'm not
standing for it anymore!
Chibi-Usa: Oh no, Minako-sama! Selphie threw the nunchakus, and they've hit Venus in the face,
giving her a nasty black eye and a bloody nose!
Super Venus: THAT'S IT! I am SICK to DEATH of having my FACE, my beautiful FACE, bashed into a
PULP!
Sailor Venus: Hah hah, now they'll never pick you, double! With blood pouring out of your nose
and a black eye, you're not half as beautiful as me… So Zidane, what are you doing tonight?
*gasps* Oh, no! My reputation!
From the audience… Dagger (Final Fantasy 9): I'm getting sick of this. Zidane, do you have that
knife? The one that I chopped all my hair off with?
Zidane: Yeah, just be careful with it though.
Dagger: Alrighty! I won't hurt myself… I'll just hurt that stupid cow that keeps hitting on you!
YAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Rini: VEEEEEEEENNNNNUUUUUSSSSSS! Oh no, Mina's been stabbed in the chest by Dagger's… er… dagger.
There's blood all over her sailor suit… oh no, this is awful!
Chibi-Usa: Yes! That's four impostors down, one to go! Come on, mama! Get rid of that stupid c…
The REAL Neo-Queen Serenity: SMMMMAAAAAALLLLL LLLLLAAADDDDYYYY!!!!!
Chibi-Usa: Err… clown. Yeah, get rid of the stupid clown!
Sailor Moon: You'll never win against me! I am Sailor Moon!
Eternal Moon: Yeah? Well I'm Eternal Sailor Moon! Silver Moon Crystal Power Kiss!
Sailor Moon: Moon Scepter Elimination!
Rini: Oh, my God! The attacks seem to be cancelling each other out! What's happening? Are they
both going to die?
Sailor Moon: If I have to die, I'm taking you with me! And it doesn't matter anyway, because
whenever you die, I always seem to find a way to live!
Eternal Moon: Well whenever I die, I always pop up alive again anyway! And besides, the original
is always far stronger than a stupid copy! In place of the Moon, I'll punish you! Onegai,
Ginzuishou! Give me strength!
Chibi-Usa: Woohoo! Go the real Sailor Moon! Go, mama!
Rini: Nooooooo, MOMMY!
*The FAKE Neo-Queen Serenity mysteriously disappears from the audience as Sailor Moon dies*
Rini: What's going on? I'm fading away! Oh, no! With no mommy, I don't exist! NO!
Chibi-Usa: Heehee. Looks like the senshi win once more. Tune in next time for Sailor Senshi
Deathmatch, everyone's favourite show. Only on the Anime Channel. Have fun, and we'll see you
next week. Ja mata!
Episode 4: The Inner Senshi & Usagi vs. The Inner Scouts & Serena
By Fire Angel & Satan's Angel
Disclaimer: None of the characters in this deathmatch belong to us. So don't go trying to sue us
because… well, just don't. We know that this disclaimer is practically identical than any other
one, but if you e-mail us and tell us that… you'll die, just like 'Mister Happy' did in episode
three. Anyway, enjoy! Ja ne!
A Very Small Note from Fire Angel: I know this sort of thing has been done before (as in Japanese
senshi vs. American scouts) and frankly, I don't give a damn. Satan's Angel and I wanted to add
the 'Angelic Touch', as I like to call it. So go screw yourself before even thinking about
complaining (please don't take that the wrong way; I love all my fans and don't wanna lose any).
A Very Small Note from Satan's Angel: Hi. Please excuse Fire Angel's 'don't give a damn'
attitude. And as for the 'go screw yourself and don't take it the wrong way' business, I think
that's a little too gross, if ya know what I mean. Well, I'd like to say a quick… AMERICA CAN'T
DUB FOR SHIT!!! And I'll seeya in hell!!! bAi bAi.
Chibi-Usa: Heeeeeeeellllllllooooo!!!!!! Welcome to episode four of Sailor Senshi Deathmatch, the
show where my mama and her friends kick a…
From the audience… Neo-Queen Serenity: Don't say that word, honey.
Chibi-Usa: *sweatdrop* Bottom. Anyway, I'm Tsukino Chibi-Usa, who everyone knows as the cutest
warrior around, Sailor Chibi Moon! Yay!!!!
Rini: You're not the cutest warrior around, I am! I am Rini, otherwise known as Sailor Mini Moon
and you're taking my hairstyle!
Chibi-Usa: I am not taking your hairstyle, it's my mama's. But anyway, in case you haven't
guessed, our challengers for the Sailor Senshi are… err… the Sailor… umm… er, sorry, I can't read
English very well… Skurts? The Sailor Skurts?
Rini: It's not Skurts, it's Scouts, you dumba…
From the audience… the other Neo-Queen Serenity: Don't say that word, honey.
Rini: *sweatdrop* Bottom. You dumbbottom, you.
Chibi-Usa: *sweatdrop* Okay, so for today's battle, we have the super-cool Inner Senshi with my
mama! Usagi-sama, Ami-sama, Rei-sama, Mako-sama and Minako-sama!
Inner Senshi: Konnichiwa, minnasan!
Rini: And the challengers, the even cooler Inner Scouts, with my mommy! Serena, Amy, Raye, Lita
and Mina!
Inner Scouts: Err… Hello.
Rini: Woohoo! Let the battle begin!
!!DING!!
Serena: Quick girls, let's transform before they do! Moon Crystal Power!
Amy: Mercury Star Power!
Raye: Mars Star Power!
Lita: Jupiter Star Power!
Mina: Venus Star Power!
Inner Scouts: Sailor Scout Power!
Rini: Yay! They did it before yours, they did it before yours! Nah nah nah nah nah!
Chibi-Usa: That's only because MY mama's is more impressive! Come on, Sailor Senshi, transform
already!
Usagi: You heard her girls! Let's go! Moon Eternal, Make Up!
Ami: Mercury Crystal Power, Make Up!
Rei: Mars Crystal Power, Make Up!
Makoto: Jupiter Crystal Power, Make Up!
Minako: Venus Crystal Power, Make Up!
Inner Scouts: *sweatdrops* Eh?
Sailor Moon: I have a feeling they are far more powerful than us. Waaaaahhhhh, I wanna be more
powerful than they are!
Eternal Moon: You will never be more powerful than us! Because we are the original Sailor Senshi!
You… are just a cheap copy with a screwed up voice! I don't like it when people rip on my show!
For love and justice, I am the pretty, sailor-suited fighter, Sailor Moon! In place of the moon,
I will punish you!
Sailor Moon: No, it's… I am Sailor Moon, champion of luurrve and justice. In the name of the
Moon, I will right wrongs and triumph over evil… and that means you!
Rini: Hurry up and pull her hair or something, mommy!
Sailor Moon: Oh, heaps cool idea! Thanks, Rini!
*Sailor Moon pulls Eternal Moon's hair. With a cry of anger, Eternal Moon pulls Sailor Moon's
hair. Sailor Moon pulls Eternal Moon's hair again. It continues*
Chibi-Usa: *sweatdrop* Uhh… mama? Mama, pulling her hair isn't going to hurt her much. Mama?
*sighs* Well, come on, Ami-sama, give Amy something to weep about!
Rini: Amy! Use Mercury Bubbles Blast or something!
Chibi-Usa: Mercury what what? What's th… oh. It's Shabon Spray. Well, folks, Dub Sailor Mercury
just used… er… Mercury Bubbles Blast… which is commonly known as Shabon Spray. There's one small
thing she forgot though… Ami-chan is also Sailor Mercury… she can see through it.
Super Mercury: Try this on for size, you weak copy of myself! *pulls out her harp* Mercury Aqua
Rhapsody!
Sailor Mercury: What's Mercury Aqua Rhapsody? AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Chibi-Usa: Heehee! Ami-sama's copy has just been frozen! Heehee!
Super Mercury: Mercury Aqua Magic!
Rini: No! Amy! Ewwwwwww… oh yuck, that's disgusting.
Chibi-Usa: *cheerfully* For those who had to turn away from the television set, Ami-sama's attack
was too much for her frozen double, who exploded upon impact. Now there's bits of frozen Sailor
Mercury all over the arena.
Super Mercury: Oops.
Rini: Oops is right! You just killed Amy! AMMMMMYYYYYYYY, WAKE UP!!!!!
Chibi-Usa: She's not gonna wake up, Rini.
Rini: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
Chibi-Usa: Okay, let's see what Rei-sama and Mirror Mars are doing. Ooohh… this is interesting.
Their powers seem to be almost evenly matched. Seeing as Raye also has the fire power within her,
her power seems to be building off of Rei-sama's…
Rini: Maybe Raye'll become strong enough and kill Rei!
Chibi-Usa: I don't think so, little copy of me. *pats Rini on the head* I don't think so, but
it's nice to dream, I guess.
Sailor Mars: Why do you keep attacking me? You realise I'm just absorbing your power and becoming
even stronger than ever.
Super Mars: Yeah, I know.
Sailor Mars: Then why are you doing it? Are you stupid?
Super Mars: Y'know, if I'm stupid, so are you, because you're based on me. And to answer your
question, no, I'm not stupid. You've fallen right into my trap.
Sailor Mars: *blankly* What trap?
Super Mars: *sweatdrop* Oh, how can my own double be so… vague? Well, Raye, I've got something
interesting in store for you! Rin, pyou, tou, sha, kai, jin, retsu, sai, zen... Akuryo Taisan!
Rini: Oh no, what's going on?! One of Amy's exploded hands has flown up and is strangling Raye!
Hey, that mystical power is only supposed to be used for good!
Chibi-Usa: That's in your crappy dub. This ain't no crappy dub. This is the real thing, you
little fu…
The REAL Neo-Queen Serenity: SMALL LADY!
Chibi-Usa: Funny person you. Anyway, Rei-sama is right; Dubby Mars has fallen right into her
trap! The stupid version of Sailor Mars uses a fire attack to blow the hand off… which is pretty
stupid, considering the fact she's been absorbing all that energy…
Rini: Aaahhhhh! Oh no, she's burning to death! Oh, this is horrible!
Chibi-Usa: STAY STILL WHILE YOU BURN, DUB RAYE! YOU'LL MAKE SOMETHING CATCH ON FIRE!
Rini: Oh no, she's made Lita catch on fire! Someone, put Lita out, or she'll burn to death too!
Sailor Moon: *stops pulling Eternal Moon's hair* Don't worry, Lita! I'll save you! Does anyone
have any water?
Super Jupiter: *pulling a bucket out of nowhere* Here ya go. Use this.
Rini: Well, gee Makoto, that was pretty stupid. You just stopped another Scout from dying… I
wouldn't be surprised if your friends kill you!
Super Jupiter: I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't! Supreme Thunder!
Rini: Ohhh… NOOOOOOOO, LITA!
Chibi-Usa: That Andy Heyward dude has really made you lot stupid, hasn't he? I can't believe
Moonbrain and Thunderhead fell for it!
Rini: Stop calling my mommy stupid, you sh…
The FAKE Neo-Queen Serenity: RINI!
Rini: Sugar-plum fairy, you.
Chibi-Usa: Meanwhile, the two Venuses seem to have decided that they are equally matched, and
have turned to the audience to pick who they like best.
From the audience… Zidane Tribal (Final Fantasy 9): Hey, you. The guy with the cowboy hat and big
jacket. Which one do you like better?
From the audience… Irvine Kinneas (Final Fantasy 8): Either one, as long as she'll give me sex.
Zidane: Yeah, man. I totally agree with you.
Rini: Mina! Offer them sex, and then they'll let you kill Minako!
Sailor Venus: *anxiously* Oh Rini, I can't do that! I have SO many American girls looking up to
me, and it would ruin my image TOTALLY if I did that! Oh, I can't do that, I just can't!
Super Venus: *raises an eyebrow as she hitches her skirt up just a little higher* I'll give you
sex.
*every single male member of the audience starts to look just a little horny*
From the audience… The guys: YESSSS, GO JAPANESE VENUS!!!!
From the audience… Selphie Tilmitt (Final Fantasy 8): That's it, I've had enough of you, Venus!
You're always, always, ALWAYS flirting with my guy! *pulls out her nunchakus* Well, I'm not
standing for it anymore!
Chibi-Usa: Oh no, Minako-sama! Selphie threw the nunchakus, and they've hit Venus in the face,
giving her a nasty black eye and a bloody nose!
Super Venus: THAT'S IT! I am SICK to DEATH of having my FACE, my beautiful FACE, bashed into a
PULP!
Sailor Venus: Hah hah, now they'll never pick you, double! With blood pouring out of your nose
and a black eye, you're not half as beautiful as me… So Zidane, what are you doing tonight?
*gasps* Oh, no! My reputation!
From the audience… Dagger (Final Fantasy 9): I'm getting sick of this. Zidane, do you have that
knife? The one that I chopped all my hair off with?
Zidane: Yeah, just be careful with it though.
Dagger: Alrighty! I won't hurt myself… I'll just hurt that stupid cow that keeps hitting on you!
YAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Rini: VEEEEEEEENNNNNUUUUUSSSSSS! Oh no, Mina's been stabbed in the chest by Dagger's… er… dagger.
There's blood all over her sailor suit… oh no, this is awful!
Chibi-Usa: Yes! That's four impostors down, one to go! Come on, mama! Get rid of that stupid c…
The REAL Neo-Queen Serenity: SMMMMAAAAAALLLLL LLLLLAAADDDDYYYY!!!!!
Chibi-Usa: Err… clown. Yeah, get rid of the stupid clown!
Sailor Moon: You'll never win against me! I am Sailor Moon!
Eternal Moon: Yeah? Well I'm Eternal Sailor Moon! Silver Moon Crystal Power Kiss!
Sailor Moon: Moon Scepter Elimination!
Rini: Oh, my God! The attacks seem to be cancelling each other out! What's happening? Are they
both going to die?
Sailor Moon: If I have to die, I'm taking you with me! And it doesn't matter anyway, because
whenever you die, I always seem to find a way to live!
Eternal Moon: Well whenever I die, I always pop up alive again anyway! And besides, the original
is always far stronger than a stupid copy! In place of the Moon, I'll punish you! Onegai,
Ginzuishou! Give me strength!
Chibi-Usa: Woohoo! Go the real Sailor Moon! Go, mama!
Rini: Nooooooo, MOMMY!
*The FAKE Neo-Queen Serenity mysteriously disappears from the audience as Sailor Moon dies*
Rini: What's going on? I'm fading away! Oh, no! With no mommy, I don't exist! NO!
Chibi-Usa: Heehee. Looks like the senshi win once more. Tune in next time for Sailor Senshi
Deathmatch, everyone's favourite show. Only on the Anime Channel. Have fun, and we'll see you
next week. Ja mata!