"Dimensional Whiplash"
By Aleenia Rheese

Chapter Fourteen - A Royal Tush Too Sore For the Throne

South Figaro alleys

Shadow wandered around, not really trying to find Alie. If she feels like coming back, she'll come back.


That was when he saw it. A big guy was pestering a slim, dark-haired figure clad in blue raiments. Alie. But she was holding her ground.


The man advanced, and Alie delivered a roundhouse to his ribs. The guy staggered back, surprised. Then he growled, took out a knife, and charged.


They were on a landing attached to the Relic shop, so the girl had little room to maneuver. But she merely flipped over him, and kicked the attacker in the butt. He crashed into a wall headfirst, the added momentum given by running knocking him out.
The redheaded guy slumped there, and Alie tossed her hair. "Serves you right, bub," she remarked. Shadow watched her check the man's pulse, then walk down the stairs connected to the landing to the cobblestone path below.


That was when she saw Shadow. Alie made the tiniest "eep" noise, then slipped off in another direction. Clyde, a.k.a. Shadow, followed, smiling under his mask. Anyone Shadow wanted to follow, Shadow kept track of.

A few moments later...

Alie ducked into an alley next to a building, looking behind her to make sure Shadow hadn't followed her. "Looking for someone?" came a slightly muffled voice. Alie jumped. Shadow was right behind her.


Aleenia gulped. "How, how did you do that?"


"Do what?" Shadow asked innocently, arms folded in front of his chest.


"Sneak up on me like that!" Alie growled. "And I don't appreciate being followed, Mr. Arrowny." Alie glared at the assassin. Shadow remained silent. "You're creepy, you know that?"


"....."


Alie sighed.


Finally, Shadow spoke. "I saw the way you handled yourself. How much do you know?"


"How much do I know?" Alie repeated flatly.


"How much martial arts?"


Alie gaped. "Er, I just know what self-defense Cammie was teaching me. Not that much," she answered.


Shadow turned, and started heading to the Inn. "I and Sabin know quite a bit. I'm sure if you ask nicely, Sabin will teach you what he knows. I'll also help train you, to an extent."
Alie started, then jogged after the ninja. "Huh? Uh, wait - that would be wicked cool, but you should've seen the scene I made in the Inn! I can't go back there!"


"I saw. They are a forgiving lot. They will still accept you," Shadow said in a matter-of-fact tone.


"Yeah, whatever."

In South Figaro's Inn

A few minutes later, Alie was leaning against the wall, trying not to fidget. Relm was looking at her worriedly, and so were Terra and Celes. Edgar just kept looking at her quizzically. Sabin was talking to Shadow. Strago was playing chess with Cyan.
I really should apologize to Cyan, Alie thought. And Celes. She sighed. She bowed her head and closed her eyes. Then she felt a small hand slip into her own.


Surprised, Alie looked down to see Relm standing next to her, smiling. "So Daddy's going to teach you Ninja skills?" she asked sweetly.


Alie sighed again. "Yeah, I guess," she murmured.


Finally, Sabin nodded. "Okay. I'll help teach Alie how to fight. On one condition. Alie agrees to not argue with psychopaths, and lets Cyan train her in swordplay." He shot Alie a glance.


Alie gritted her teeth. "Oh, you ARE asking for it. I've argued with psychos all my life, though. Fine. Okay. I'll learn to use a sword." She glared at Sabin as she spoke. "But I'm gonna do a half-assed job at it!"


Locke laughed, and Edgar tried to hide a smile behind his hand. Terra giggled. Cyan smiled and nodded. "Thou art a lass with a fine spirit. Me thinkest thou shalt do well," he said.


Sabin was frowning. "You shouldn't be joking like that, Aleenia. Kefka WILL kill you, I'd bet my life. We need to prevent that."


Alie sighed. "Oh, you're no fun. The thing about life is to live it; not cower from it. I want to live it up, and I guess it'll be fun to be able to kick someone's butt when they irk me." She gave Sabin a warning glance. "Oh, and Edgar; cut it with the long speeches. I was bored out of my mind," she added. She then emphasized with an exaggerated yawn, tapping her mouth with her hand.


Edgar looked surprised, then pouted. "Hey, I was just worried about you two young ladies."


Terra smiled. "We believe you, but Alie does have a point." Terra winked at Alie.


Edgar looked crestfallen. "Fine! BE that way! Just go and fight, why don't you!"


Alie had a sudden idea. "Okay. I'll fight you, Your Majesty. I will kick your butt from here to the moon without trying!" Alie stood up straight, feeling smug.


Shadow smiled under his mask, and almost chuckled. Edgar, on the other hand, gaped. "Wha, what? You might get hurt!"


Alie froze up, and when she caught the King Edgar Figaro's gaze, her eyes were clouded over, darker than before with cold anger. "You have a lot of nerve, Chuckles."


Relm giggled. "I've got it! I've been trying forever to find out Edgar's middle name! If Alie wins, I get to know, but if Edgar wins, I won't bring it up again!" she said triumphantly.


Edgar's jaw dropped. "Excuse me?"


Sabin said, "Big Brother, are you afraid of losing?" He got a cold glare for that. "Well, I think Alie should get more than your middle name. How about a favor?" Edgar smirked.


"Fine. If Alie accepts, when I win, she will be in debt - she will owe me one favor of my choice," the king said.


Alie grinned. "Okie-dokie, Chuckles. But you wait; you are going to regret that!"

Somewhere in the Town of South Figaro

Fifteen minutes later, all of the Returners were standing outside. Edgar and Alie were preparing to face off. Shadow was standing in the Shadows. Sabin was beginning to worry about his big brother. From what Shadow had told him, Alie knew more about how to protect herself than she let on.


Terra was also worried, and was trying to talk the two hotheads out of sparring. Locke and Celes sat side-by-side on a bench. Setzer was gathering bets from bystanders and from Locke, Mog, Shadow, and even Strago. Gau and Relm sat together, and watched with awe. Alie and Edgar were now in stances. Alie had made sure Edgar wouldn't use magic or his special Tech Weapons.


It was all-out sparring, no holds barred, the good, old-fashioned way. Hand-to-hand.
Shadow gave the signal, and the fight was on! Alie charged Edgar, then flipped over him. When she landed on the other side, she kicked him square in the royal tushy!


He staggered, then delivered a roundhouse to Alie's chin. When it connected, Alie's head snapped to the side, and her body went along for the ride. She was spun around by the hit. Relm winced, and Terra put a hand to her mouth.


Alie looked at Edgar in surprise, nonplused by his actions. Then she wiped the blood off her mouth, spit the rest out, and punched him. In the jaw. Hard. That was followed by Alie's palm connecting with Edgar's chin, snapping HIS head back.


Setzer's jaw dropped, as did Locke's. Celes smirked, and Terra gasped.


Alie finished the High and Mighty King of Figaro off with a snap kick to his gut. Edgar sprawled out on his back, then sat up and clutched his chin, then his stomach, and then his chin again, not sure what hurt more. Yet somehow, Alie had prevented from making the Figaran bleed.


Alie's head felt like it had been kicked. Wait, it HAD been kicked! Alie cradled her jaw, as she swallowed the coppery blood that flowed from the cut lip and bit tongue she now had.


Relm ran up to Edgar, who merely said, "It's Roni, okay? I need a potion..."

Back in the Inn

Sabin couldn't help but notice how easily Edgar had been beaten by Miss Rheese. Of course, Edgar Roni Figaro hadn't done a lot of fighting, as of late.


Edgar sat in a corner sulking as Relm teased him about his middle name. Alie sauntered over, looking all sweet. "Y'know, it might make you feel better to know that I have a friend named Roni." Edgar lifted and eyebrow. Alie nodded. "Yeah! I know you'd just love my friend. SHE is the nicest person!" Edgar groaned and buried his still-bruised face in his hands. Alie giggled, then placed a hand on Edgar's shoulder. "Hey, at least it isn't your first name! If it were, I most likely would be trying not to start laughing my head off every time I talked to you."


"Oh, you're SO kind," the King of Bruised Egos muttered through his hands.


Alie plopped in a chair. "If it's any help, people used to call me Al. I was also teased badly because I wore glasses. Even my aunts would pester me and remind me of how much I looked like a boy, when I was little."


Edgar eyed her warily. "You definitely DON'T look like a boy to me."


Aleenia shrugged. "I grew up. You have to, obviously. Or maybe not, you're so sensitive about a name. And a middle one at that," she scoffed.


Edgar just glared at her. He groaned. "I'm in debt to a smart-ass kid from another world..." he sighed.


Alie smiled. "No, you're not. We didn't shake hands."


Edgar looked at her sharply. "Huh?"


Relm gaped at Alie. She had been enjoying this immensely. " 'Scuse me?" The fourteen-year-old hopped up from her seat on one of the four beds. "You can't be serious!"


Alie nodded. "My old man taught me this trick - when gambling, which, I might add, would be illegal in most states at home, to never bet seriously without shaking hands. Not only does it leave you free if you lose, but it keeps things from getting messy."


Setzer was clearly interested. "So?"


Alie grinned. "Sooo, Edgar's off the hook! It wasn't a finality, AND I'm too young, according to American laws, to be gambling!" She turned to the slumped king. "You owe me nothing."


Edgar looked at Alie for a long time. "Huh?"


Locke laughed. "She just said you aren't a total loser, Eddie." The thief smirked. "Though, losing to a girl, I can't say I agree with her."


An argument ensued.