Disclaimer: I'm too poor to own anything. And no one will share with me.

Author's notes: *turns on music* I was gonna work on my fic, until I got high. I was gonna post it sooner, but then I got high. Now this chapter is really late, and I know why. Cuz I got high, becuz I high, becuz I got hiiigh!!!!

In other words, don't shoot me. I'm sorry this chapter took so long to post. I actually wasn't high, I was just WAAAAAAAAAYYYYY to busy. I spent Wednesday and Thursday getting ready for school (only supply shopping, not clothes yet, poor me), and Friday and Saturday were spent babysitting for an adorable, but slightly whiny, three year old :( (and I didn't get paid all that well either). I got maybe three hours of computer time all together since Thursday, and since I had to spend some of that chatting, reading fics, and checking out other sites (yes, HAD to, I was tied in the chair and forced to type urls) Not to mention the fact that I had writer block for awhile. Oh well, at least it's up.

Chapter 8

Selphie looked up when she heard voices coming from the infirmary office. She was feeling better, although the thought that Squall was dead was still hard to believe. Standing up, she steadied herself and walked out of the room. Standing beside Zell was...

"Sir Laguna!" she exclaimed in surprise, "What are you...." she trailed off, mentally yelling at herself for asking something so stupid. "I mean..."

Laguna held up his hand. "Don't apologize. I know it's hard to believe someone like me could be Squall's father." Selphie looked into the eyes of the man she had once had a crush on. Laguna usually looked so happy and energetic, but today he looked tired. As if he hadn't slept in days, which, Selphie reminded herself, was probably likely. She knew she hadn't slept very well since hearing about Squall. But it wasn't just the lack of enthusiasm. Laguna's eyes looked completely lost, as if he was simply an empty body, with no soul or feelings. He looked, she thought, like a man who had lost all reason for living.

Glancing in the mirror, Selphie saw that she looked horrible as well. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying, and her face was streaked with tear stains. He hair fell limp, and there were stains on her hospital gown from the times she had thrown up or dropped food. She was a mess. But, unlike Laguna's, her eyes didn't look completely void of life.

'He's lost so much,' she thought. 'First his wife, then his son. He has no family left, unless you count.....' "Where's Ellone," she asked, surprised that Squall's "sis" wasn't here.

"She was on a trip to the Island closest to heaven when this happened," Laguna told her, "She'll be home tomorrow."

Selphie nodded and said, "Well, I guess you have to go see him." She hadn't seen Squall's body, and wasn't planning on it, at least not until the funeral, so she excused herself, and left the infirmary, wanting to take a shower and change her clothes.

She had to pass Squall's dorm on the way to hers, and when she walked by, she heard a noise inside. Who would be inside Squall's dorm? She checked the door, and found it unlocked. Bursting in, she saw the depressed faces of Irvine and Zell.

"Hey Selphie," Irvine said, trying to smile, "Glad that you're outta the infirmary. I'll be over in about half an hour, 'k babe?" Selphie nodded, and left.

When she opened the door to her dorm, she couldn't help but let out a small scream when she saw someone sitting at her desk. "Quistis?" she asked when she recovered.

The blonde girl nodded, and Selphie could see she'd been crying, which was no surprise. But what she said next was. "Selphie, I had to talk to you. I think I know why Squall killed himself."

~*~

At the look on Selphie's face, Quistis wondered if perhaps she should have told someone else. But Selphie was Rinoa's best friend. If anyone would know what to do, it was her.

Quistis had spent the entire day going over her encounters with Squall during the week before his death. Then she had finally remembered the one detail that she had been trying so hard to remember.

She had been heading towards the cafeteria for a late lunch, when she had met Squall, going to see her. He had asked for, and been given, the day off. He had also asked about Rinoa. When she had asked if they had gotten in a fight, he hadn't said yes, but he hadn't quite said no either. Could he have been mad enough at Rinoa to kill himself? At first, it had seemed ridiculous, but she was sure it was the only answer.

She began to tell Selphie her theory, watching as the younger girl's face took on an expression of horror and sadness. When she finished, Selphie told her, " As far as I know, they never really got in an argument, but Rinoa did storm out on Squall during lunch that day. She said it was because...." she stopped, and her eyes grew wide.

"What?" Quistis asked, beginning to get scared.

Selphie looked up at her, and seemed to be almost in shock. "Rinoa got Angelo put to sleep the same day Squall killed himself. The week before that, she'd been getting pretty depressed about it. Maybe Squall thought she was being like that 'cause she was mad at him....."

She trailed off, beginning to cry, and Quistis sank down into a chair. If Selphie was right, and Squall had killed himself because he thought his girlfriend hated him, it would break Rinoa's heart. "What are we going to do?" Quistis asked, "She's going to figure it out for herself soon, and then she'll be even worse."

"I don't know," Selphie replied through her tears, "would you mind leaving me alone for a while? I'm really tired."

Quistis nodded, and walked out of Selphie's dorm, heading towards her office, wishing she could go to sleep too. She hadn't slept more than two hours at a time since this had started. As headmistress, she had to keep the school running. There was still a lot of work to do, even with classes cancelled.

She reached the office and sank down in her chair. Her mind went back to her conversation with Squall. If that had been the reason, then maybe it had been all her fault. After all, she should have known something was wrong when she talked to him. She should have done something about it before it was to late. But she hadn't. If she had, Squall would probably be training or teaching his class, not lying in the infirmary dead.

"How ironic," she said out loud, although no one was there to hear it, "I always tried to look out for him,. but in the end it's my fault he's dead."

Someone knocked on her door, and walked in. Looking up, she saw it was Laguna Loire. "Mr. Loire," she began, "I'm sorry I wasn't able to speak with you earlier." She stood up, but he didn't seem to notice.

"I'm going now," he told her. "The funeral will be five days from now. You, Zell, Rinoa, Selphie and Irvine may stay with me when you arrive if you like."

"Thank you," Quistis told him, "Shall I see you out?" He shook his head, and left.

Sitting back down, Quistis let her mind drift back over the events of the past few days. There were so many emotions she was dealing with. Along with the sadness, frustration, and pity, she was surprised to realize she was angry. Not at herself, as she had thought, but at Squall. 'Why did he have to be so stupid?' she found herself thinking, 'It's all his fault. And we're all suffering because of it.'

She instantly felt regret for thinking it. Unable to think straight any longer, she lay her head on her desk and began to cry, wondering why her entire world seemed to be collapsing around her.

~*~

The next day went by without anything happening, for which she was grateful, Rinoa seemed to be slowly coming out of her depression, the student body had accepted their commanders death, although those who knew him best were still often found in the company of the school grief counselor. It would be a long time until the Garden would be back to normal, but eventually, it would be.

Soon, it was time for the memorial service. As Quistis put on a simple black dress, tied her hair back, and put on a strand of pearls, she wondered whether she would have the self control to get through her speech. Fixing her lipstick, she left her room, and headed towards the gym.

~*~

Zell looked up as Quistis entered the gymnasium and took her place at the front. She was coping with the tragedy remarkably well, as he knew she had still had feelings for Squall. Despite his own sorrow, he found himself noticing how nice she looked. Even at a time like this, she looked pulled together and composed. Her blonde hair was twisted into a simple yet elegant style, and her dress was fashionable, but respectful. In other words, he thought, she was beautiful.

He snapped himself out of his daze when Quistis began to talk. She spoke for a few minutes about how Squall had been a great commander, a great student, and a great friend. By the end of her speech, quite a few people looked as if they were trying to hold back tears. Then she called Zell up to say a few words.

As he spoke, he wasn't really aware of what he was saying. He had lost his best friend, man who he had always respected and admired, and he knew that, although his speech had the same effect as Quistis's, it didn't really express how he felt. When he left the stage, Quistis gave him a small smile, as if to tell him he'd done good. He returned it, then sat back down, trying to listen to the other speeches, although his thoughts were alternating between the loss of his friend, and his growing fondness for the blonde headmistress.

The service was short. When it was finished, Squall's friends all met in the staff room. The other instructors understood that they needed time off, and were taking care of their duties.

"Rinoa said she need to go shopping for a dress for the funeral," Selphie told them, "I'm going to go with her tomorrow. She seems to be better." Zell noticed her shooting looks at Quistis, and wondered what the two of them knew that he didn't.

"Yeah," Irvine agreed, "She actually cried yesterday. The doc says she'll be ok."

Quistis told them about Laguna offering them a place to stay, and they all agreed it would be good.

"We'll probably only stay there a day or two anyway," Zell said, " After all, we're going to have to start classes soon. SO what are we doing about the press conferences?"

"I'm going to have you take the one in Galbadia, and Irvine and Selphie handle the one in Trabia, " Quistis told him, "I turned the rest of them down."

Soon, Irvine and Selphie left to go get some rest. Zell looked at Quistis. "Well, I guess I should go to," he told her, "Make sure you get some sleep. In fact why don't you take tomorrow off. I noticed you've been working to hard. I could take care of things."

"Would you really?" she asked, smiley tiredly, "I could use some rest I suppose."

"No prob," he told her, smiling, "Have a good sleep."

He started to walk out, but she stopped him, "Zell?" He looked back, wondering if she was going to ask him why he had been staring at her earlier.

She opened her mouth, then hesitated and said, "Thanks." He nodded, and left. Despite the sorrow he was feeling, Zell was pretty sure he was in love.

End of Chapter 16

Author's notes: Weird...I kinda zoned out, and when I snapped back into the real world, this fic was turning into a Zistis, or a Quell, or some sort of Zell and Quistis romance thingy! Another weird thing, I just checked my thesaurus, and Quell means to put down, or subdue. Interesting. Anyway, I mostly snapped outta my writers block now, so ch.9 should be up by Wednesday or Thursday. Maybe even Tuesday if I have time. Bye-bye.