Rated 'PG'
BY:
*****~*****
--Caroline knew Richard would be showing up for work soon... he was almost always exactly 30 minutes late. She had learned, after many an argument, to just simply tell him she wanted him in a half hour earlier than she actually did... that way, he would show up on time... but still 30 minutes late in his mind. She smiled as she thought about her little deception...
*Well, it's not like it's hurting anyone...* she thought to herself, but her thoughts quickly moved on to other concerns... *I wonder if I'll act differently knowing how he feels. I wonder if he'll see it...* She didn't have long to dwell on it... the sound of a key in the door snapped her out of her thoughts and back into the moment.
--Richard started to let himself into Caroline's apartment, as he did most every day, but today felt different. The night before, Caroline had kissed his cheek... and she ran her hand through his hair. A simple enough gesture from a good friend... but it sparked in him emotions he had been trying desperately to bury. He paused before walking in after unlocking her door...
*I just have to keep my emotions in control. She is a friend... a good friend... nothing more...* He took a deep breath as if that would give him the strength to face her, then entered the loft...
--"Good morning Richard." Caroline greeted him in her typically cheerful way.
"It is? Why wasn't I informed?" Richard replied sarcastically.
"Consider yourself informed..." she chuckled as she watched him head for the partners desk... "Is something wrong?"
"No." Richard replied distantly... "What do you want me to get started on?"
*All business...* Caroline thought to herself as she rummaged through the 'Caroline' sketches... *He's trying to distance himself again...*
"Here..." she said, handing him some finished panels... "Start with these Sunday strips till I get done with the new 'Happy Birthday' card sketches."
"Fine..."
"Speaking of 'Happy Birthday'... I see you're wearing the shirt I gave you for your birthday yesterday. It looks very nice on you!"
"It does?" Richard asked, his guard dropping slightly...
"Yes! You look very handsome in blue!" Caroline replied, taking advantage of the break in his rigid facade... "You look very handsome in most colors..."
Richard could feel his face become flush and he turned away, hoping that Caroline wouldn't notice. She did notice, however, and she bit her lip to keep from smiling...
"Even red..." she added, referring to the shade of embarrassment he had just turned.
"Excuse me..." he spouted abruptly, then sprinted to the bathroom.
*That went well...* Caroline criticized herself... *He probably thinks I've lost my mind! I don't know... maybe I have. I mean, me and Richard? What if he's right? What if it doesn't work out? Would we still be able to be friends?* Caroline started to have doubts... but she quickly squashed them... *No! I'm not giving up on the idea of 'us' based on the fear that it might not work out!* she told herself emphatically... *Now... if I could just get him to say something to me...*
--Richard closed his eyes tight and splashed water on his face...
*Like that's going to do any good...* he ridiculed himself... *You can't change what happened now... by splashing water on your face. You ran from the room like a frightened child over a comment about clothes. Asinine.* He patted his face dry and glared at his reflection in the mirror. *You can't hide in here forever.* he told himself... *Get it together and get back out there before she sends a search party in here after you!*
--Caroline looked at Richard with concerned eyes when he finally came out of the bathroom...
"Are you alright?"
"Yeah. I think I might have a cold or something..." he replied, trying to cover for his quick run to the bathroom.
"Really? Do you have a fever?"
"No. I don't think so..."
"Let me check..." Caroline offered, taking a step towards him. He quickly took a step away...
"No! That's ok... I can tell I don't have a fever..."
"Stop being such a baby! I'm just going to feel your forehead..." She took another step towards him...
"I can feel my own forehead..." He took another step back.
"Don't be silly! You can't feel your OWN forehead to check for a fever!" she informed, taking another step towards him. This time he didn't step back... he couldn't... he was up against one of the windows. She reached her hand out, touching the back of her hand to his forehead, then she paused a moment to determine if he felt warm. Richard looked like a wild animal caught in a trap and the expression did not escape Caroline's attention. He was nervously fidgeting and Caroline scowled at him in response... "Just hold still Richard..." She started feeling his neck along the jaw-line and her expression was one of concentration...
"What are you doing?"
"The doctor always does this when I'm sick. I'm checking your glands..."
"Why?"
"To see if they're swollen..."
"Thank you Dr. Duffy, but I'm fine..." Richard said as he pushed his way out of the corner she had him boxed into... "Let's just get to work now... ok?"
"Ok... but I was going to say... if you don't feel good maybe you should take the day off and go home and rest..."
"Oh. Well, maybe I should. You know... just in case..."
"Nope! Too late! You said you were fine... you don't have a fever, and your glands aren't swollen. Today... you work!"
"Fine... slave driver..." Richard whispered under his breath...
"I heard that!" Caroline snapped with lighthearted indignation.
"I'm happy for you..."
*****~*~*~*~*~*****
--It felt like five o'clock would never come... to Richard. To Caroline, it came much too quickly. Every minute with Caroline was like torture to Richard, so the sooner he distanced himself from her physically, the better... in his mind. He hastily made his way to the door and put his coat on to leave...
"You sure you don't want to stay a while? Maybe talk?" Caroline asked. She wanted him to stay, so she could talk to him, and hopefully get things out in the open... but she wanted to be subtle...
"Talk about what?"
"Oh, I don't know... about life..."
"Life sucks. End of discussion. See ya tomorrow Caroline..." Richard replied as he opened the door to leave...
"Ok... fine. Bye Richard. See you tomorrow..." She barely got the comment out of her mouth when the door shut. She scowled at the door and sighed.
--Richard paused at the elevator and closed his eyes as he leaned against the wall. He silently cursed his actions and his inability to control his feelings for Caroline. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts he didn't hear Annie come out of her apartment...
"Hey Richie!" she announced her presence, causing him to jump. Annie couldn't help but laugh... and Richard glared at her for it. "Whatcha doin?"
"Nothing..." Richard replied distantly.
"Uh-huh. Why were you standing there with your eyes closed?"
"It's been a long day. I'm tired..."
"Uh-huh. So, you decided to take a nap while standing in the hallway?"
"I'm waiting for the elevator!"
"Uh-huh. You know... it will come much faster if you push the button..." Annie teased. Richard just stood there, confused for a moment... then he shook his head in frustration...
"I said I was tired! I just forgot to push it!" he snapped, irritated by the conversation and the direction it was going in.
"Uh-huh..." Annie smiled. Richard just rolled his eyes and headed for the stairs... "See ya Richie!"
"Unfortunately..."
--"Hey Caroline..." Annie said as she entered Caroline's loft and headed for the kitchen...
"Hey Annie..." Caroline didn't sound like her cheerful self...
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing... it's just... Richard just left--..."
"Then why do you sound sad? When he leaves... I'm happy!" Annie interrupted... "Of course... that's just me..." she added, noticing Caroline's slightly upset expression over her comment.
"Annie, what am I going to do about Richard?"
"I don't know, tar and feather him? Ooo... I got it! Strip him naked, crazy glue him to a chair, shave off all his hair, and leave him in the middle of Times Square! Then take pictures and put them on the internet!"
"Annie! That's not what I meant! And that's NOT nice!" Caroline scolded...
"I know... I know..." Annie admitted, seemingly remorseful... but within seconds she was laughing hysterically. Caroline cracked a tiny smile, but quickly wiped it off her face...
"Annie! C'mon! Help me out here!"
"Ok, ok... I'm sorry..."
"I need to know how to get him to admit his feelings for me..."
"Flirt with him! Find reasons to touch him. A certain look... smile... wink... that can speak volumes!"
"And if those things don't work?"
"Hit him over the head with your club and drag him into your cave by his hair!" Annie joked...
"Not helping..."
"Sorry. Those are the things I would normally do... of course... Richie isn't exactly normal..."
*****~*****
--Richard entered his apartment, a small bag from the local fast-food place in hand. He tossed his portfolio and coat onto the bed and hit the 'messages' button on the answering machine...
"You have no messages." the computerized voice informed.
"Of course... who would call me?" he said to himself with sad indifference as he took his small dinner out of the bag. He poured himself some brown water from the tap, but immediately poured it down the drain... "It's a darker shade of brown today... think I'll pass..." He sat down and had just started to eat when there was a knock at the door. He grumbled softly to himself, then got up and headed for the door. To his utter surprise, it was Caroline.
"Hi..." she said softly when he opened the door.
"Hi. What are you doing here?"
"I wanted to... see you..."
"Ok, well, now that you've seen me, is that it? Or did you want to come in too?"
"No, I'd rather stay out here and watch the drunk guy puke in your hallway..." Caroline quipped.
"His wife kicked him out again..." Richard informed as he stood aside so Caroline could enter his apartment.
"How do you know that?"
"Paper thin walls..."
"Oh..."
"So, why are you really here?" Richard asked as he picked up some of the items and clothes that were strewn about.
"Do I need a reason?"
"No... you don't NEED a reason... but I bet you HAVE a reason..."
"I just wanted to... maybe... talk with you a bit..."
"Why?"
Caroline was starting to get frustrated... "Why are you making this so hard Richard?"
"Making what hard?"
"I'm just trying to talk to you. You know, like friends do?"
"I don't deal well with conversations..."
"Of course you don't. You don't deal well with most things. Is there ANYTHING you deal well with?" Caroline was irritated, and Richard could tell...
"Being alone. I do well by myself..."
"Fine. Guess I'll just go home then. Sorry to bother you..."
Richard could tell Caroline was hurt, but he wasn't brave enough to make it right. Instead, he just let her go...
"Ok. See you tomorrow..." Richard said softly, then walked her to the door, opening it for her. She paused just outside the door, then stepped over the drunk guy who was now passed out in the hall without looking back.
--Richard didn't feel like eating any more... he was too perplexed. Caroline had been acting weird all day... for the past two days actually. Since his surprise birthday party...
*What happened on my birthday that would account for her odd behavior?* he asked himself, deep in thought. *I arrived at work... there were no decorations. Odd, but that doesn't explain her actions. After work I went out to that restaurant with Del. Annoying... but that had nothing to do with Caroline. Then we stopped off so Del could get the lunchbox sketches...*
Just then a look of horror came over Richard's face...
"Del. I told Del about my feelings for Caroline..." Richard grabbed the phone and dialed Del's number... "He promised he wouldn't say anything!" he said to himself as he waited for Del to pick up. His answering machine did instead... "Damn!" he barked, slamming the phone down... "Now what?"
He looked around like the answer would come popping up from somewhere in the apartment. He paced back and forth, frustrated and nervous... then an idea came to him...
"Annie! Caroline tells her everything! If anyone knows what Caroline is thinking... it's Annie!"
He grabbed the phone and dialed Annie's number...
"Busy! I'm just gonna have to go over there..."
He grabbed his coat and headed out the door.
*****~*****
--"Yeah? Well, there's not going to be a next time buster! You had your chance and you blew it! You break a date with Annie Spadaro, you don't get a second chance!" Annie barked into the phone, then slammed it down... "Men!"
The knock at the door startled her. She looked out the peephole and a bewildered look came to her face...
"Richard? What are you doing here?" she asked when she opened the door. Richard pushed his way in and shut the door... "What are you doing?"
"What is with Caroline?" he asked abruptly.
"What?"
"She's been acting... weird. Why?"
"How should I know?"
"Cause you two talk about everything!"
"Why do you even care? She's just your employer... right?"
Richard could tell she was playing games, and he was starting to get more than just a little irritated...
"Annie! You know something! Spill it!"
"Even if I did know something... which I'm not admitting to knowing anything--"
"There's something to brag about..." Richard interjected sarcastically. Annie just shot him a dirty look and continued...
"Even if I did know something... why should I tell you?"
"You know what? I am not in the mood for your games!" Richard started to leave, but Annie stopped him...
"Look, just go talk to her... ok? And this time, try LISTENING to her..." Annie said with a slight grin. Richard just looked at her a moment, then turned to leave. He immediately walked over to Caroline's door, and Annie smiled as he knocked, then she went back inside her apartment.
--"Richard... what are you doing here?" Caroline asked, shocked to see him.
"I felt bad about the way I treated you earlier. I was in a mood..." Richard replied apologetically.
"You're always in a mood Richard." Caroline quipped, smiling at him. He did not return the smile...
"Yeah, well... can I come in?"
Caroline signaled for him to enter and he stepped inside... the more-serious-than-usual look on his face catching her attention...
"Is something wrong?"
"No. Well, not really... but, I have been getting the impression... that something may be wrong with you..."
"Wrong with me?"
"Yeah. You've been acting... well... odd... lately. And you have asked me more than once to talk with you... but I pushed you away. I just thought... maybe you might need someone to talk to?"
"Thank you Richard. That's sweet." Her smile made Richard nervous...
"Yeah... so, what did you want to talk about?"
Now it was Caroline's turn to be nervous...
*What do I say now? I can't just come right out and ask him how he feels...* She hadn't thought far enough ahead... now she was stuck...
"You want something to drink?" she asked, stalling for time.
"Sure."
"Coffee? Tea? Wine? Water?"
"Coffee... is fine..." Richard sat down on the couch and watched as she poured the coffee...
*She seems nervous...* he thought to himself, trying not to stare... *Maybe she wants to fire me!*
"Are you unhappy with my work?" he blurted out before he thought it through.
"What? No! Why would you think that?"
"Just trying to understand..."
"Trying to understand what?" Caroline asked as she handed Richard his coffee...
"Thanks." he said as he took the coffee... "I'm just trying to figure out... why you're acting so... different..."
"Different? Different how?"
"I don't know... I'm not sure..." He feared the direction the conversation was going...
"Well, what am I doing that is so different? Give me an example."
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because..." Richard replied, fidgeting under the scrutiny of her stare.
"You know... I'm not gonna get mad or whatever... if that's what you're worried about..." she said softly, putting her hand on his knee. Richard jumped away from her touch like he had just been burned and Caroline was startled by the abrupt action... "What?! What I do?"
"Nothing. Nothing. I shouldn't have come. I should go..." Richard put his coffee down and started to walk towards the door, but Caroline quickly walked after him...
"Richard. Wait. Wait a sec... what's wrong?" she asked, maneuvering so that she was between Richard and the door.
"Nothing." he replied, his eyes wide and nervous. Caroline put her hand on his shoulder and smiled...
"Richard... something is wrong. I can tell. Come on... sit down and talk to me..."
"No. Really... I should go..."
"Why?"
"Because I don't want to say something I'll regret later..."
"What are you talking about?"
"Nothing. I'll see you tomorrow..." He pushed his way past Caroline and sprinted out the door and toward the stairs...
"Richard! Richard!" Caroline called after him, but he just kept going.
--Annie could hear Caroline from inside her apartment and she poked her head out curiously...
"What's going on?" Annie asked a flustered Caroline. She signaled for Annie to follow her into her loft, then marched inside, Annie close on her heals...
"Ok... Richard likes me... right?"
"Right."
"Ok, so... what am I doing wrong?"
"I don't know... what are you doing?"
"Flirting! I've done the 'smile', the 'look', the 'touch'... he just runs further and further away..."
"He's afraid of rejection." Annie stated with certainty... "Hang on... I'll be right back..." She walked out of Caroline's loft, but returned moments later with a piece of paper in hand... "Here." she said to Caroline, handing her the paper.
"What's this?"
"It's a letter Richie wrote to you... I found it out on the sidewalk the day you two delivered Vicki's baby. He tossed the entire box of 'Thank You' notes out the window."
"Why?"
"Cause he didn't want you to see this..." she replied, pointing at the paper.
"This is the letter he was telling Del about..." Caroline whispered, almost to herself. Annie just nodded softly.
Caroline read the note, tears splashing down her face...
"Oh my God, Annie... I have to talk to him. We have to get this out in the open..."
"Just don't tell him where you got the letter..."
"He's gonna know... if I bring it up. You're the only one who has it!"
"Ok, ok... just TRY not to bring it up. You know, only mention it as a last resort..."
"Ok... I'll try..."
*****~*****
--Richard entered his apartment and slammed the door... his emotions making him antsy. His first thought was to leave... run away again... like he had all those months prior. His second thought was focused on Caroline... and her actions.
*It can't be what I think... she can't have feelings for me. How could she have feelings for me?* He paced back and forth, trying to make sense of her behavior... trying to decide what to do next. *Well, I can't just leave. I can't do that to her again. I can't do that to ME again.*
He grabbed his painting shirt and threw it on, then he grabbed his paint and squeezed various colors onto the palette, mixing them to create new colors. He poised himself at the canvass and stood silent, trying to clear his mind. Slowly, he began to relax... and then, he started to paint. He painted well into the night... finally collapsing in the early hours of the morning from exhaustion and lack of sleep.
*****~*****
--When 9:30a.m. came and went without Richard showing up for work, Caroline started to become concerned. She worried that something bad might have happened to him... and she was afraid that he might have run away again, like he had before. Finally, not being able to wait any longer, Caroline picked up the phone and called Richard...
--The sound of the phone ringing woke Richard from his sound sleep...
"What?" Richard answered the phone sleepily...
"Richard? Were you... ummm... coming to work?" Caroline asked nervously.
"What time is it?"
"Almost ten-thirty..."
"Oh my God... Caroline, I'm so sorry. I overslept! I'll be right in!"
Caroline breathed a sigh of relief... "Ok..."
Richard hung up the phone and rushed to get ready. He didn't know what he would say to her... about last night and his rushing out so abruptly... but he would have to worry about that later. After the short version of his usual morning routine, he rushed out the door for Caroline's.
*****~*****
--"I am so sorry..." Richard announced as he bounded through Caroline's door... "I was up painting and I guess I didn't hear the alarm--..."
"It's ok Richard. I just thought that... maybe... you weren't coming in..." Caroline admitted sheepishly.
Richard stopped rushing around and just looked at her... "Why would you think that?"
"Well, it wasn't THAT long ago that you took off to Paris. Without saying a word..."
Richard closed his eyes tightly and hung his head... "Yeah..."
"I'm sorry... I was just worried."
"I'm sorry for making you worry..."
"It's ok..." Caroline accepted his apology, then held up some finished panels... "You can start with these..."
Richard was thankful to be leaving the uncomfortable conversation behind and getting started with work... "Ok, great. No problem..." He eagerly took the panels from Caroline and sat at his side of the partners desk.
Caroline watched him closely as he started to color. She knew it was only a matter of time before he realized what was in front of him.
At first, Richard wasn't paying any attention to the actual 'Caroline' strip... just the colors needed and his concentration in coloring them. But after a few minutes, he started to really see the strip, then, he started to read it...
The
The
In the
In the
Richard just stared at the strip without saying a word.
Caroline knew he had read the strip. He wasn't coloring it anymore, he was just staring at it motionless.
"Richard?" Caroline tried to get his attention...
"What?" he replied, his eyes still focused on the paper in front of him...
"You wanna talk?"
Richard hesitated before answering... "How long have you known?"
"Since your birthday. I was here... upstairs... when you were talking with Del..."
Richard looked up at her with a shocked expression...
"I had come back to get your birthday present... cause I had forgotten it. I wasn't trying to eavesdrop. I wasn't trying to invade your privacy..." Caroline defended her actions.
Richard nodded and looked back down at the desk... "And the letter?"
"Annie gave it to me last night."
Richard nodded again. "What do we do now?" Richard braced himself for rejection...
"Richard, read the first frame again."
Richard did, then looked up at Caroline with questioning eyes...
"I'm talking about you Richard... in that frame. I have been flirting with you like crazy... but you weren't taking notice!"
"I thought I was imagining it. That I was misreading your intentions..."
Caroline approached him slowly, as if a faster movement would frighten him away... "I want to give 'us' a try Richard..." she said as she wrapped her arms around his neck. She kissed him passionately, then pulled back and looked him in the eyes... "If you want..."
"I want." Richard could barely speak the words, he was so overcome with emotion. Caroline smiled, then grabbed the 'Caroline' strip off the desk...
"I'll just put this somewhere safe. It was for your eyes only... but it might be neat to show our grandkids... someday..."
Richard sighed deeply... a smile crossing his lips. He sat down in his chair, then he whispered softly to himself...
"Sincere Amore..."
The love you never have to question. He never thought he would find it, and neither did Caroline, but they did... and with each other...
THE END
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