When we last left our hero, Knuckles certainly had his work cut out for him . . . being unconscious. Now, take a journey into the mind of the youngest Guardian of the Floating Island in :
The Double Doo-Doo Saga
Part Four:
Bombs, Toasters, Pepto Bizmol, and the Truth about Sabre's Coffee
Written by Anna-mathe with help from Clovis.
Knuckles the Echidna and related characters are property of Sega and Archie Comics.
Zorak and related characters are property of Cartoon Network.
Colonel Pepsi is property of Gloria.
Changeling is the property of my mother.
Chika is property of Clovis.
Other characters belong to me. I don't mind that you use them, as long as you let me know and
note it somewhere that I created them.
Oh, and by the way, Chika really does exist, and is every bit as terrifyingly adorable as is portrayed in this tale.
Espio once again pulled himself out of a hole. Spitting the dirt out of his mouth, he sat down and tried to figure out what the heck was going on.
"Yuck," Changeling sputtered next to him. "Hey, what just happened?"
"Well," Espio answered, "one moment, we were busy antagonizing Zorak, and then we got turned into fuzzy pink giraffes with no heads, and I vaguely remember digging this hole."
"Then POOF?"
"Yup. POOF."
"And so we're ourselves again. Yeah, I got that part. I'm talking about anything after that."
"I'm not sure. Maybe the Island collided with something?"
"Like what?"
"As if I know." Espio stood up and dusted himself off. "Let's see if the other Chaotix can explain it."
-----The Delirium---
Knuckles opened his eyes and sat up with a headache.
"Yo?" he asked, rubbing his head and looking around. "What the hoo-ha's goin' on around here?" He squinted. "Wherever here is, anyway." Dang! I'm talking to myself again!
The scene before him looking suspiciously like the surface of the Mobian Moon (which he'd seen first-hand in Issue #8) except for one distinct difference: the area was covered with scattered cornstalks and hordes of purple wombats.
O-kay . . . I can build on this.
A wombat jumped over his head, and he figured that he'd better try to remember what had happened. And so he did. Try, that is. His memory drew a blank.
The Emerald . . . I'm sure the Emerald fit into this mess somewhere . . . why the heck can't I remember?
"*Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-yyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!*" came a haunting voice somewhere to his right.
"What the-" Knuckles blurted before remembering not to talk to himself again.
"*Knuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucklllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllessssssssssssss!!!!*"
Okay. Okay. Don't spaz out, Knuckles warned himself as his felt the urge to do just that. Just because you suddenly find yourself in a cornfield in outerspace with wombats and disembodied voices who know your name . . .
"*HEY!! Are you listening?!*"
"Yes, I'm listening!" he snapped at the voice. "What do you want?"
"*Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooone of your friggin business*!!!!"
Knuckles crossed his arms and glared defiantly at what sounded like the direction from which came the voice.
"In that case, why don't you shut up and let me think?!"
"*Thhhhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnkkkkkkkk!!!!*"
"I'm trying to, you creep!"
"*Creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-*"
"WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!" Knuckles shouted.
There was a short silence.
"*Coooooooooooome tooooooooooooooooooooooo meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!*"
"No way! You are freaking me out, man!"
"*IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII can explaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain eeeeeeeeveryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyythiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinggggggggggggg!!!!*"
Sighing, Knuckles considered his options. There weren't very many of them. Another purple wombat jumped over his head, and he grudgingly began to walk toward the voice.
When Charmy woke up from the smash Hyper-Ivy had given him, it was with a lot of pain.
"Ow," he said, proving the point. Looking around, he found himself sitting in a hospital in Echidnaopolis. "What the heck? I don't get it!"
In the next bed over, Mighty also began to wake up.
"You don't get it?" he groggily asked. "Why do I feel like I stuck my hand in an electrical socket?"
"Simple," said a familiar voice. Archimedes appeared from nowhere. "You," he said, pointing to Charmy, "got smashed into a pulp, and you, " he now pointed to Mighty, "got a nice, straightforward zapping."
"Oh, well that explains everything."
"Hey, you got any Evil Plumber Tricks to get us outta this one?!" Colonel Pepsi snapped at Fish as they both high-tailed it as far away from Rainbow Valley as they could run before tripping over rocks and landing in puddles.
"Evil Plumbers don't, as a rule, deal with space travel!" she hissed back at him. "Besides, I'm helpless without my mighty plunger!"
"Oh please!" Colonel Pepsi shouted. "How are you going to have your evil universally recognized if your only weapon of destruction is a toilet plunger?!?!?!?!"
"Because I specialize!!" she explained. "Someone like Zorak needs to have a whole arsenal of bombs and ray guns, while an Evil Plumber needs only a worthy plunger to-"
"OI! BOMBS!"
"Eh?"
"Fish, do you still have any of those plastic explosives?"
"I never go anywhere without 'em. Why?"
"So we can blow up stuff, you fool!"
"But-but-but . . . how's that going to get us off this crazy planet?!"
"I don't know! But at least we can have a little fun while Zorak recovers!"
Zorak was, during this time, moping about, complaining about everything, looking for Pepto Bizmol and chewing gum, and looking for another good rock to hide under.
Terri-lu spun around in her office chair, seething because she still didn't have any gum.
She was in the midst of a long stream of muttered complaints when the door swung open, and Constable Remington, Sonic, Geoffery, the Hippy, and a few other ESTers that had been involved in the recent incident burst into the room.
"Oh, welcome back!" she told Remington. "How'd it go? And, uh, why is there a hippy with you?"
"This," Remington snapped, jabbing a thumb towards the Hippy, "is the guy who made us lose to Hyper-Ivy."
"Listen, I'm only trying to bring to the world a little love - "
"Oh, for goodness sakes, shut your mouth!!" Remington ordered, finally blowing up at the character.
The Hippy stood in a corner and sulked about government officials running everything.
"I don't get it," Terri-lu stated.
"We have a problem," the Constable told her.
"Danged right."
Everyone in the room turned in surprise as Espio and Changeling entered. "What's going on around here?" Espio asked.
"Apparently, Knuckles took out Hyper-Ivy, but the other plants went haywire and jumped Island!" Remington explained.
"Say what?" Terri-lu asked.
"They skidaddled, and since we're over land, now -"
"We're what?!" Espio gasped, interrupting Sonic.
"Yup. Your Island's a little off course," Sonic continued. "Anyway, from what we could tell, the plants are heading for Mobotropolis."
"So let's go nuke 'em!" Changeling suggested.
"Not so fast, there!" Geoffery stated, and proceeded to explain the situation of the daisy population of the city. "There's nothing we can do there until we're ready to take on a few thousand-plus hungry weeds."
A thought occurred to Espio.
"Who the heck is Hyper-Ivy?" he asked.
"Oh. Ivy ate the Master Chaos Emerald," Remington told him.
"No way!"
"Yup."
"Well, uh, where're Knuckles and the others?"
"Intensive care, with the exception of Vector."
Espio blinked, soaking it in.
"And, uh, where's Vector?"
"Who knows?" Sonic shrugged. "Last we saw him, he was mumbling something about finding some really big hedge-clippers."
"I guess these could serve as hedge-clippers," Vector decided, surveying the collection of artillery he'd scrounged up from what the plants had left in the Grand Conservatory. He had, in fact, stumbled upon the collection of portable concussive blasters which Ivy and his cohorts had missed.
"Haha," he chuckled, firing one of them up and finishing his cup of coffee. "Tonight's menu . . . Vegetable Pizza!"
Fish and Colonel Pepsi, through some twist of fate, ran SPLAT into Zorak, dropping the massive armfuls of toasters they'd been lugging along.
"Where the heck have you two been?" Zorak demanded. "And whatever you've been doing, has it been particularly evil?"
"Er, you tell 'im, Fish."
"N-no, you can have the honor, Colonel Pepsi. After all, I'm only a staff plumber."
"Yes, but, ladies first!"
"Oh, come on! You-"
"SHUT UP!!" Zorak shouted, putting an end to their ramblings. "Now . . . what exactly do neither of you want to tell me about?"
"The fact that the chameleons have dismantled the Phantom Cruiser and turned the parts into toasters," Colonel Pepsi replied, gesturing to the sprawling pile of toasters on the ground.
"They WHAT?!?!?!'
"This is all your fault, you know," Remington informed the Hippy. "If you hadn't shown up when you did, the plants would be gone, and Knuckles wouldn't be in a coma, so he'd be able to get the Island back on course, and the other plants would never have been able to get to the land to get help."
"That doesn't change the fact that you were wrong to want to wipe out the plants!"
"Oh, yeah, and like this situation is right?!?!"
The group of them, chameleons excluded, had headed to the Hall of Science to see what progress was being made in finding a way to stop the plants on a global scale. Changeling's suggestion to just nuke everything was considered, but dropped when Sonic told them what Princess Sally would likely do to them if they destroyed Mobotroplis when the reconstruction was almost completed. They now sought a more . . . neat approach.
Now, Professor Doodlemuncher came forward with his findings.
"It's really quite simple," he told them. "All you have to do is get all of the plants to jump off a very large cliff . . . "
"Um, I'm not so sure that's an option," Remington impatiently informed him.
Doodlemuncher was not daunted.
"In that case, young man, you should take this bomb," and he held up a bomb to illustrate his point, "and detonate it within the upper atmosphere. It should take them all out."
"Should?" Sonic asked pointedly. "You don't know?"
"I would know a bit more if Remington over there had tested the smaller bomb I made before."
Remington threw a very evil glance at the Hippy.
Locke and Sabre were trying desperately to get the Floating Island back on course with their links to the Master Emerald, but they weren't having much good luck.
"I think . . . that Knuckles . . . put the Emerald in crooked," Locke stated, going cross-eyed in his concentration.
"Maybe so," Sabre said, standing up and heading out of the room.
"Where are you going?" Locke called after him.
"To get some coffee."
Locke jumped to his feet.
"Oh no you don't!" he snapped. "Are you forgetting that fact it's only been two hours since you recovered from your last caffeine overdose?!"
"No," he said. "But don't worry. I'll make up some fresh-"
He stopped talking because Locke threw a shoe at him.
"If you take one more step towards that door, I'm going to be forced to hurt you, father."
Sabre raised his hands in defeat.
"Anyway, what's the news on Knuckles?"
Locke sighed.
"He's still in a state of delirium. Goodness only knows when he's going to come out of it."
"Oh. Do you want your shoe back?"
"Yes, actually."
As Knuckles walked along, the scenery grew steadily weirder. The wombats slowly became sparse, and then they disappeared altogether. So did the cornstalks. In their place sprouted giant poison ivy plants and a herd of giraffes.
"*Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy have you stoooooooooooooooooooopped?*" demanded the voice.
"Because . . . because I'm starting to remember something," Knuckles stammered, grabbing at the vague memory the plants and animals prompted. "Whatever happened has something to do with . . . with poison ivy and giraffes?"
"*Coooooooooooooooommmmmme clooooooooooooooooooooooooooooser! I have your aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnsssssweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrssssssssssss!!!!*"
"Dang it who are you?!"
"*IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII aaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmm yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyoooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr drrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammmm!!!!*"
"Dream . . . am I sleeping?"
"*Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!!!!*"
"Then . . . this is just a dream? I could wake up at any time?"
"*Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!*"
"No, um, it's not a dream?"
"*Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!*"
"No it isn't not, or no it is not?"
"*Um, one of the two I'm suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure.*"
"Um, do you mean I can't wake up?"
"Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssssss!!!!*"
After the was said, Knuckles found himself feeling very very nervous. He still didn't know what was going on, where he was, or how on Mobius he'd gotten here, but this definitely did not seem to him to be a very good sign of things to come.
"Am I . . . dead?" he finally got the nerve to ask.
"*Nnnnooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetttttt . . . *"
"You know, you are no help at all!"
"Yyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssssssssssssssssss!!!!*"
"Stop that spooky voice thing! You're giving me a headache!!"
"*What's your point, foooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool?*"
A giraffe knocked Knuckles over when he wasn't watching. Getting back up and grumbling, he again began to walk towards the voice.
Espio and Changeling had declined the invitation to join Constable Remington and the others in visiting Professor Doodlemuncher, choosing instead to hunt down the Chaotix. When they reached the hospital, Dr. Loony seemed very relieved to see them and all but threw Mighty and Charmy out the door at them.
"Hey, were you two giving them a hard time?" Espio admonished.
"Espio, I am shocked you would ask that!!" Mighty exclaimed in a hurt voice. "I mean, of COURSE we were!"
"Where's Vector?" Charmy asked.
"Good question," Changeling muttered.
"We don't know where he is, but I think he may have finally gone honestly berserk," Espio said. "But here's another question: do either of you know where they're keeping Knuckles?"
Charmy and Mighty exchanged a look.
"Um, did something happen to Knuckles?"
Vector may not have felt berserk, but he was feeling pretty good as he headed towards the Island's edge, wielding two armfuls of laser blasters with his walkman cranked to the max.
"On a Sunday, riding my bike -" he sang, turning to blast a non-sentient tree into particles. "Heh heh," he said, surveying the ash. "I could get to like this." At this point, he reached the edge of the Island and peered over. "Okay!" he shouted at the ground, miles below. "I forgot my bungee cord!" He took one last drink of coffee. Then he shrugged. "Oh well."
"For goodness sakes!" Archimedes exclaimed, watching the scene on a screen with Semper Fidelis.
"I'll get the croc, you go tell his pals that he's flipped," Semper told him.
"Fine."
Vector spotted Mobotropolis below and jumped off the Floating Island.
Of course, the moment he was airborne, Semper materialized next to him, clinging to his walkman cord, and transported him back to Echidnaopolis where Archimedes and the other Chaotix were waiting.
"Vector, I can't believe you would do something so dumb!" Espio snapped.
The croc's reaction was to point a concussive blaster in the chameleon's face.
"YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS!!!!!!!!!" he screeched.
Espio disappeared before he got blown into smithereens.
"Calm down, Vector!" Mighty urged. "Don't disintegrate Espio! He's your friend!"
"I AM CALM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he bellowed, now pointing a concussive blaster at Mighty, who raised his hands and took an involuntary step back. "IF I WERE ANY MORE CALM, I'D BE DEAD!!!!!"
That was Espio's cue to reappear behind the psychotic crocodile and whack him over the head.
"Ouch!" Vector yelped, dropping all but one blaster and rubbing his noggin. "Oh," he said, looking around. "Thanks. I needed that." Then he passed out.
"I don't get it," Charmy sighed.
"Euh, I think exposure to two Chaos Entities battling it out drove him over the edge," Semper suggested.
"Or maybe he picked up a stray bit of chaos," Archimedes added.
"Or maybe he's just gun-happy," Espio remarked, stopping over and plucking the remaining concussive blaster from Vector's grasp. "Hmm. He might have the right idea, though. We've gotta do something about those plants, and I don't mean napalm the whole lot. We've gotta get rid of them, and fast."
"What's the rush?" Mighty asked.
Espio glared at him.
"Hello? Because they're conquering the world!!!"
"Memo to myself," Terri-lu typed in her computer. "Next time plants try to conquer the world and universal-domination-bent aliens stop by, put in for a nice long vacation."
She sighed and drank some coffee, waiting around to hear what was going to happen next, and still managing to perform her usual daily tasks. Sometimes being the Constable's secretary wasn't all it was cracked up to be.
Hey, wait a sec! she thought. There's something strange about this coffee. She took another sip. Yup. There is definitely something strange about this coffee.
Frowning, she left her desk and headed for the staff lounge. Searching through some cupboards, she found what she was looking for: the coffee mix.
Fresh stuff. Just brought in yesterday. Hmm.
A squeal behind her caught her attention. Turning, she was just in time to see two of her coworkers pass out, coffee mugs close at hand.
Terri-lu shook her head, dumped her own coffee down the drain, and went back to her desk.
"Memo to myself: Don't drink the coffee. I think it was sentient."
Leaning back in her chair, she searched through her desk drawers and found a candy bar. Munching contentedly, the implications of what she'd just typed all at once set in.
Hel-lo! If those coffee beans came from sentient plants . . . that would explain why the coffee tastes a bit more succulent than usual . . . and it would explain why my two coworkers just passed out in the lounge . . . and it might explain why we've been getting so many reports of temporary insanity during the last few hours . . .
The phone rang and knocked her out of her revelation.
"EST HQ, this is Constable Remington's office, how can I help you?" she said in a bored voice.
"Hello, Terri-lu," came a raspy voice on the other line.
"May I ask who's calling?" she asked, taking another bite out of her candy bar.
"Do you like scary movies?"
Terri-lu spit out a mouthful of chocolate.
"Dang it! Don't even!!!" she snarled.
"I am Zorak, Lone Mantis of the Apocalypse!"
She dropped her candy.
"You!!" she snapped. "You stole all that gum!"
"That's right!"
"What do you want?"
"I want to inform you that I and my two henchmantisses have wired enough plastic explosives through this city to turn the Floating Island into a duststorm! Hoohoohoohaha!"
Terri-lu blinked and made sure the conversation was being recorded and traced. It was.
"What do you want?" she asked again.
"We want safe passage off this planet! Your beloved chameleons have turned our space ship into TOASTERS!"
"Toasters . . . listen, I can forward your request, but -"
"I'll call back in two hours! If you don't have a ship for us by then, POOF!!! Hoohoohoohaha!"
"POOF?"
"Yes! POOF!!! Hoohoohoohaha!"
There was a click, and the line went dead.
The Hippy had been dumped off, and only Constable Remington, Geoffery, and Sonic returned to EST HQ. They had, in their possession, two of the bombs made by Professor Doodlemuncher and the small grenade that the Hippy's arrival had caused to not be detonated. These three bombs were liable to set off on any impact, so they were being carried with a good deal of caution, and therefore there was a good deal of upset when Terri-lu stormed out of Remington's office and almost knocked them all over.
"Terri-lu, what -" Remington began, but she cut him off.
"Zorak's wired the city to blow unless we get him off the planet in two hours!" she exclaimed.
Remington blinked.
"Zorak's . . . oh great. Terri-lu, track down the Chaotix. We're gonna need 'em for this."
"Right!" she merrily acknowledged and streaked past them.
Remington plopped down in his chair and spun around in some circles.
"Okay," he finally said. "If anyone's gonna be able to set the mantis straight, it'll be the Chaotix . . . but their leader's still in a coma."
"Have no fear, good Constable!" Sonic assured him. "In the absence of the echidna, I see it only fitting that the hedgehog should step up to the plate - "
"We're doomed!" Geoffery moaned.
After a few minutes, Vector woke up feeling much more like his usual lovable self, ("Hey, man, I am spending TOO MUCH time unconscious in this story!") and the Chaotix considered their options.
Changeling had gone back to Rainbow Valley to check on the situation there, so it was now just the four of them, Mighty, Vector, Espio, and Charmy.
"So what do we do now?" Charmy asked, stating the obvious question. "The planet's been conquered by plants, Knuckles is in a coma, and we still have three hyper-active mantisses lurking around!"
"I wonder if the Constable and the others found any answers at the Hall of Science," Espio said.
"Let's go find out," Mighty suggested. "Meanwhile, Changeling's out to find out what's up with the mantisses in Rainbow Valley . . . "
A blue blur swept up beside them.
"No need," Sonic informed the Chaotix. "We've got a bomb to get rid of the plants, but the mantisses have lined the city with plastic explosives."
"Oh! Hang on, where did I put my concussive blaster - "
"Shut up, Vector!" Espio snapped.
Terri-lu sprinted up to them.
"Oi!" she called. "Message from headquarters! Zorak and his henchmantisses are thought to be hiding out about three miles south of here. The Constable wants you to see if you can get a hold of their detonator and . . . I dunno . . . blow it up."
"Good call! And, uh, what are you doing here?" Vector asked Sonic.
"Hey, pal, I've been put in charge of this little operation!"
Terri-lu's cellular phone chose that moment to ring.
"Yeah, now what, Constable?" she said in greeting. "Oh? Really! Well well, imagine that!" She hung up the phone. "Get this! Zorak's done it again!"
"Turned people into fuzzy pink giraffes with no heads?" Espio asked in alarm.
The secretary shook her head adamantly.
"No, silly! He's bumped off another convenience store! Still after Pepto Bizmol . . . "
Knuckles looked around him. The farther he walked, the more he seemed to almost remember what had happened.
The Voice had been silent for some time, and he could only hope he was still going in the right direction. In any case, he was now walking through a jungle of bombs, toasters, and Pepto Bizmol. Feeling closer to memory than he had yet, he again stopped walking to try and piece it all together.
Poison Ivy, giraffes, bombs, toasters, and Pepto Bizmol. I just don't get it.
"*Keeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep moooooooooooooooooooooooving!!!!*"
Knuckles had a sudden whim. He turned and plucked a bomb from a strange-looking tree and hurdled it towards the Voice.
"Take that, Preppy!" he bellowed.
The sound of the explosion wasn't a loud quick bang like he'd expected. Instead, it was low and rumbling, and seemed to shake his head apart.
"*Yooooooooooooooooooooooooouuuuu FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLL!!!!!!!!*" the Voice cried, sounding almost tearful.
The Guardian wasn't really paying much attention to the Voice now, because his head seemed to hurt more and more as the shaking from the explosion grew stronger.
"*Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit's nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot toooooooooooooooooo laaaaaaaaaaateeeeeee, Guuuuuuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrdiiiiiiiiaaaaaaaaaannnnn!!!!*"
"Too late for what?!?!?!" Knuckles screamed as a toaster flew past him.
Everything was flying past him, being swept into a huge vortex somewhere behind him.
"*Yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu . . . *"
Deo Volente stood glumly watching over Knuckles's unconscious body.
"Oh peachy," he muttered.
Archimedes appeared beside him.
"What's going on?" he asked.
Deo gestured to the echidna.
"His vital signs just dropped drastically."
"But-but I thought he was getting better!"
"He was! Now it's like, I dunno, a bomb blew up somewhere in his brain."
The two fireants looked nervously at Knuckles, wondering what would happen next.
"*Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!*"
Knuckles didn't stop to think. He clamped his hands to his head and ran to the Voice as fast as he could.
"*Dooooooooooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnn't stoooooooooooooooooooooooooooop!!!!*"
He didn't. He just kept on running . . .
Zorak gulped down his Pepto Bizmol happily.
"Yes! I feel more like my usual evil self!" he gleefully exclaimed.
"But Zorak," Colonel Pepsi argued, "aren't you worried that perhaps an invisible chameleon will have followed the trail of Pepto Bizmol from the leaky bottle and followed us, and may in fact be watching us right now?"
"Waddya talkin' 'bout, fool? There's no one here but us evil mantisses!"
When Espio heard these words from where he was hiding in a tree watching them, he almost laughed out loud.
Zorak, you have got to be, without a doubt, the biggest idiot I've ever tortured.
"So what's the word?" Mighty asked upon Espio's return to the group, about half a mile from the mantisses hideout.
"Zorak's got the detonator. They're keeping it heavily guarded . . . for them."
"No challenge?"
"None."
"What kind of detonator are we looking at?" Sonic asked. "I've gotta know what it looks like before I can go destroy it."
Vector raised his eyebrows.
Let me explain something. Ever since Vector woke up from his little insanity attack, he's been acting just a little bit . . . strange. In a nutshell, he was being awfully overactive . . . even for Vector. The other Chaotix tacked it up to something he ate (or maybe drank?) and let it go, concentrating on more important things.
"Okay, man," he snapped at Sonic. "I can understand that maybe the Constable wants you to call the shots until Knuckles comes out of it, but don't go forgetting you're on our turf now!"
"Hey!" Sonic snapped back. "I've been doing this sort of thing to Robotnik for years, while your approach has always been to go blow stuff up! I know what I'm doing!"
"I know what you're doing, too!" interrupted a new voice that gave the Chaotix a start. "You're leaving, that's what!"
"Excuse me?!?!" Sonic quipped sarcastically.
"Oh no. Not you," Vector grumbled, shaking his head. "Say it's not you!"
"Sorry, Vector! It's me!"
Charmy stepped in.
"I thought you were on vacation, Julie-su!" he exclaimed.
There she stood, in all her glory: Julie-su, former(?) henchwoman of the Dark Legion.
"I was," she admitted. "But it got all ruined by a bunch of plants."
"Well that explains it then," Espio mumbled under his breath.
"Okay, okay," Sonic said, waving his hands around for silence. "I don't quite get this, but I would like to get what you mean by saying that I'm leaving!"
"I mean that I'm takin' over this operation!" Julie-su informed him. "I've hung out with the Chaotix for quite a bit longer than you have, hedgehog!"
"Which means what, exactly?!" Sonic demanded, now beginning to seethe a bit.
"Which means I'm way more entitled to lead the Chaotix in Knuckles' absence than you are!!"
"Oooooo, you're pushin' some wrong buttons, babe!"
"You know," Mighty told the other Chaotix while Sonic and Julie-su proceeded with a very loud and obnoxious argument, "I'm getting sick of this. Those two are making so much noise, the mantisses have probably already heard 'em and blown up the city."
"Hmm." Espio regarded the situation for a moment, shrugged, and suggested, "Okay. I'm the oldest, so I'll lead."
"Fine!" Vector happily agreed. "Now let's get on with this show!"
Terri-lu entered the Hall of Science, clutching at her specimen.
"Oh, you've arrived!" Professor Doodlemuncher said by way of greeting. "Did you bring it?"
"Sure did, Professor!" she assured him. "This here's a pot of the office's coffee. There's something severely twisted about it. It tastes funny, and everyone who drinks enough of it goes berserk."
"And how did you happen to notice this?" Doodlemuncher asked her.
She squared her shoulders and said proudly, "I was a taste-tester through college. I know these things."
"Hmm. Very interesting. Well, let's just see what we've got here, eh?"
Knuckles just kept on running. When he finally got too tired to run any longer, he jumped as high into the air as he could and glided along until he got his breath back, when he began to run some more.
The voice was beginning to worry him.
"*HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! HAAAAAAA!!!!*"
"Shut up!" the Guardian gasped between breaths. "Stop laughing like that! You're making me nervous!!"
"*Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrvoooooooooooooooooooousssssss!!!! HAHA!!!!*"
At once, Knuckles felt himself slam up against an invisible brick wall.
"Oof!" he exclaimed in surprise, finding himself knocked to the ground. "What the hoo-ha?"
"*Hoo-ha! That's funny! Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnyyyy!!!!*"
"What the . . . " Knuckles rubbed his eyes and stared through the invisible barrier at the being who stood in front of him.
It was the Voice.
The Voice.
The Voice was a fuzzy pink giraffe with no head!!!!
Knuckles did the only thing he could think to do. He screamed.
Midscream, a bright flash of light blinded him, and he felt a jolt run through his body.
He finished his scream and then just sat there, panting and looking around.
"Well well! I was beginning to wonder if you were going to come out of it!" said Archimedes who was standing on a table near him.
Knuckles looked over at Archimedes and the other two ants, Deo Volente and Semper Fidelis.
"Okay, that's it. Will someone tell me what the heck is goin' on around here?!?!?!?!"
Mighty and Vector were hidden in the trees surrounding the mantisses hideout, watching the proceedings. Charmy was up in the sky, keeping an eye on things from there.
The plan was, Espio would get in position, then they'd make a distraction, he'd run off with the detonator, they'd pummel the mantisses, and then they'd all head back to Echidnaopolis merrily and get some donuts.
"So what happens if they can't get a ship?" Colonel Pepsi asked Zorak.
"Oh, they will. Or else their city will be leveled! Hoohoohoohaha!"
Fish was guarding the detonator, armed with a new plunger she'd swiped at the convenience store along with the Pepto Bizmol. What she didn't know was that Espio was creeping up behind her, waiting for her to move away from it just enough for him to nab the bugger without her setting it off.
"Frankly, I don't see why we didn't wire the Chameleon Valley, instead of the city," she pouted. "After all, it's they're fault we're in this mess!" She turned away from the detonator and glared at Zorak.
At that moment, Espio grabbed the detonator (which was shaped like a toaster) and split.
"What the - - - CHAMELEON!!!!!" Zorak shouted, pointing at the detonator which was quickly moving away. "AFTER HIM!!!"
"I don't think so!!" came a voice from the shrubbery.
"Huh?" Colonel Pepsi had been asking, when Vector jumped out and smashed a large hunk of wood over his head. "Oh. Ow." He fell over and landed in a puddle of Pepto Bizmol.
"Oh, not again!" Zorak yelled, not wanting to endure another slugfest. He turned in time to see Mighty hurdling through the air towards him, and quickly grabbed a toaster as a shield.
"UNGH!!" Mighty grunted, colliding with the toaster.
Fish threw a toaster at Vector, and Colonel Pepsi crawled out of the puddle in time to hit Charmy with another one.
"So!" Zorak gloated to the stunned Chaotix. "You are now beaten with the same thing with which you thought you'd beat us! Now the tables have turned! Hoohoohoohaha! Colonel Pepsi, Fish, tie them up! The other one may have gotten away with the detonator, but now we have some new bargaining pieces! Hoohoohoohaha!"
"And furthermore - " Sonic had been snapping at Julie-su when an interruption appeared in a puff of smoke. "Oh! Knux! You're back!"
"Darn right! What's the deal with this? Where's the Chaotix?"
"They're over there . . . or maybe not," Julie-su said, noticing for the first time that the four were gone. "Hmm. That's a good question."
"There wouldn't've been a problem if you hadn't shown up when you did!" Sonic accused.
"Me? If you hadn't been here in the first place - "
"Both of you clam up!" Knuckles ordered. "I'm very cranky when I first regain consciousness! Now we've gotta figure out where they've gone, and deal with Zorak before - "
"Forget it," said Espio as he materialized next to them. "I've got the detonator," he said, handing it to Knuckles, "but Zorak's got the other Chaotix."
"Oh. Archy, take this back to Constable Remington," Knuckles told the fireant, handing the toaster-like detonator to him. "We'll go deal with Zorak and Co."
"Right!" Archimedes conceded, vanishing and taking the detonator with him.
Now Knuckles turned his attention to Sonic and Julie-su, who were facing opposite directions with sulky expressions.
"If you two don't cut it out, I'm just gonna leave you both behind."
"WHAT?!?!?!" they screamed.
"No way!!" Sonic snapped. "Just because Madam Dark Legion here had to throw a wrench in the works - "
"Oh shut up! You've no right to be here at all, Freedom Fighter - "
"C'mon, Espy. Let's go take down the mantisses on our own."
"Good call, Knux."
"Wait!" the two combatants yelled.
"Okay," Julie-su relented. "I'll lay off if he does."
"She started the whole thing anyway. If she shuts her yap, I'll shut mine," Sonic stated in a stalwart voice.
Knuckles and Espio exchanged an uncertain glance, then decided to let them come along.
"Hoohoohoohaha! You are my captives!" Zorak gloated to his captives. "Your job is to stay captive, and not run up the electric bill!!"
"How do you expect us to do that?" Mighty demanded.
"If you run up the electric bill, you're gonna pay it, fool!"
"He's serious!" Colonel Pepsi warned. "I should know."
Fish stood off in a corner and sneered at everyone.
"You just wait!" Charmy snapped. "Our friends will save us, and then you'll never get anymore Pepto Bizmol in your life!"
Zorak snickered. "Yeah, whatever. No one's gonna save you!"
Right then, Espio appeared in a tree and threw a toaster at Zorak's head.
"Freeze, chameleon!!" Zorak sneered, not daunted for a moment. A bit dented, yes, but not daunted. He had the situation in check. "Observe!"
Espio, cautious while his friends were in the mantis's possession, observed.
Zorak pointed the tree the three Chaotix were chained to.
"Note the large amount of toasters lining the base of the tree?"
The chameleon nodded, saying nothing.
"HOOHOOHOOHAHA!!!!" Zorak yelled. "Each one of those toasters is a bomb! And to make matters worse, Colonel Pepsi has the detonator! If you make one move to urk him, and he's very nervous by nature, your pals go POOF! Hoohoohoohaha!"
"POOF?" Espio repeated, aghast.
"Yes! POOF! Hoohoohoohaha!"
Fish pointed the plunger she'd bumped off from that last convenience store at Espio's head.
"So we recommend you get your chameleonic buns down here and surrender before we blow these three into the next time zone!"
The three mantisses were so rapt in glaring at Espio that they didn't notice the grappling hook shoot through the air and grab onto one of the higher treetops.
"O-okay!" Espio stammered, raising his hands to indicate defeat. "Just don't blow up my friends!"
Mighty, Charmy, and Vector looked at him like he was nuts.
"So, you see reason at last, do you, you snippy little chameleon?" Zorak observed. "Good! Get down here, before - "
He never finished his sentence, because at that moment, a blue blur shot through the air and swept up all the toasters surrounding the captive Chaotix. Simultaneously, a pink figure swung through the trees and grabbed the detonator from Colonel Pepsi, and a flash of red came up behind Fish and swiped her plunger. Espio, once free from the plunger's glare, leaped from the tree and knocked Zorak to the ground.
"Woo-hoo!" Vector whooped. "We're home free, now!"
"Yes!" Julie-su shouted from the treetop she'd landed in.
At that moment, the tree-branch she was standing on snapped, and she plummeted to the ground. After making a painful-sounding splatter, she just sorta sat there as Colonel Pepsi jumped over to her, grabbed, the detonator, and hit the "BLAST" button.
As you should remember, Sonic was now holding the bombs, so when they went off, the force of the explosion hurtled him through the air and accidentally flattened Knuckles, who, startled, released his hold on the plunger, which was quickly reclaimed by Fish, who swung it like a golf club at Espio, dislodging him from Zorak's throat and flattening him also.
"Uh . . . uh . . . " Zorak sputtered, coughing. "Well! We sure showed them! Chain 'em up, Colonel Pepsi!"
"You got it, Zorak!"
"Maybe we should join a union," Mighty sighed to Vector and Charmy, who grimly agreed.
Okay, dear reader, this does indeed look bad for the Chaotix and Company. However, Fate does not hate them as much as it may seem to at this moment, as you will see.
Having checked in at home, Changeling had been trying to find Espio for some time, and had eventually caught up with him just before they made their raid on the mantis hideout. Now, after watching the proceedings of that raid and the results, he set back for Rainbow Valley, suddenly realizing that there was only one way they could stop these mantisses.
This required a move on the part of the chameleons that had never been seen in his lifetime, or that of anyone else on the Island, for that matter. The power that had to be called upon had been left at rest for hundreds of years, since before the establishment of the Guardians, and then some. Many times, over the centuries, such an action had been considered, but never actually put to use. Now, however . . .
He reached Rainbow Valley and filled everyone in on what had happened.
"Jeez," Shift mumbled. "How could anyone so dumb as those mantisses capture them all?"
"Fate," Shadow sighed. "Man, I tell ya, Fate is really hating us about now."
"What can we do?" Shift asked no one in particular.
Changeling cleared his throat.
"Guys, you know there's only one being who can save us."
Shadow gasped and Shift clamped his hands over his mouth.
"You mean - "
"Yes," Changeling replied with firm resolution. "We need to summon . . .
CHIKA THE MALEVOLENT!
"No!!" Shift cried. "Not . . .
CHIKA THE MALEVOLENT!
"Yes!" Changeling replied. "Yes . . .
CHIKA THE MALEVOLENT!
Shadow looked confused.
"Chika the Malevolent?"
"No, you fool!" Changeling snapped. "No . . .
CHIKA THE MALEVOLENT!
"Oh," Shadow mumbled. "How do we summon . . .
CHIKA THE MALEVOLENT
?"
"We must consult the Valley Elders," Shift grimly stated.
Half an hour later, the three chameleons approached the mantis hideout.
They exchanged a look.
"Ready, guys?" Shadow asked in a solemn voice.
"As we'll ever be," they replied in an equally solemn voice.
"So then," Shift said, cracking his knuckles, "let's do it."
They then trompsed right into the middle of the not-so-well-hidden hideout and confronted Zorak and his henchmantisses head on.
The mantisses were so startled to see them just tromps in like that, that they just stood and gaped at them.
"Zorak," Shadow greeted simply.
"What?" he answered in a dark tone.
"We suggest that you release our friends," Shift suggested, "or else."
"Or else what?" Zorak inquired.
"Or else . . . we'll be forced to use . . . this!" Changeling warned, producing the ancient and powerful artifact he'd been entrusted with for this mission.
It was indeed a heartstopping sight: a small ball, about one inch in diameter, with a tiny . . . bell in it.
Zorak looked at it and shuddered. Then he broke up laughing.
"Whaddya talkin' 'bout, fool?!" he chortled. "You expect to defeat us with that stupid ball?"
"N-no, listen, Zorak," Shift urged. "For your own good, just let our friends go."
"Hoohoohoohaha!" Zorak bellowed. "If anything, you'll beat us today, because I'm laughing so hard that my gizzard could explode at any moment."
"Zorak," Shadow said in a low, dark, tone, "this is your last chance. Let our friends go, or else we'll be forced to use that thing."
"Go ahead!" Zorak giggled. "In fact, I DARE you! Gimme your best shot with that little ball with bell!"
"No!" Espio called frantically from where he was tied up, earning himself some very strange expressions from the other Chaotix. "Don't do it, guys! No one deserves that!!!"
Zorak glared at him.
"Don't think you can fool me so easily! I'm not letting anyone go free today, including you three!" he shouted, pointing at the three chameleons in question.
Shadow sighed in resignation.
"You heard him, Changeling. Do it."
Changeling was so choked up with the magnitude of what he was about to do that he couldn't say a word. Silently, he took the small ball with the tiny bell and rolled it across the ground. It came to a grinding halt at the feet of the three mantisses.
"Here goes," Shift mumbled. He cleared his throat. "Here, Chika!"
BANG!!!!
The sky shattered!
A huge clap of thunder shook the world, and the very land beneath them trembled as the malevolent force awakened.
"What the hoo-ha?" Zorak exclaimed, looking up into the black clouds above.
The clouds parted all at once, and a dark blur shot down from the heavens . . .
And landed daintily on the ground!
When Zorak finally worked up the nerve to uncover his eyes, it was to the horrifying sight of . . .
A terrifyingly adorable little black kitten, batting the ball with bell around in a terrifyingly adorable manner!
"No - " he choked, taking an involuntary step back. "no . . . I've seen this form of power only once before, in all my travels of the universe! This . . . malevolent creature . . . it possesses the power of terrifyingly adorable cuteness . . . to the magnitude where it could destroy the universe as we know it!"
The three chameleons looking on had run for the nearby shrubberies, taking refuge from the force at work. Espio passed out with fear and awe, while the others just sat there, trying to figure out what the heck was going on.
"Colonel Pepsi! Fish! Run! Run for the suburbs!" Zorak yelled. "Bail, while you still can! Don't just gawk like that, you fools!"
They continued gawking.
"But, Zorak," Fish murmured, "she's so . . . cute! Can we keep her?"
"No, no, you idiot! She has you in her terrible power! Fight it, Fish, fight it!"
"Gee, Zorak, lay off!" Colonel Pepsi objected. "She's just a terrifyingly adorable cute little kitten! Let's just stand here and observe her playful ways."
"No! No! Oh, my poor henchmantisses! You're forever doomed to her cuteness!"
Chika looked up and batted at a passing butterfly.
"NNOOOOO!" Zorak screamed. "You can't defeat me! I'll fight you! You . . .
CHIKA THE MALEVOLENT
" - shall not overcome Zorak, Lone Mantis of the Apocalypse!"
Chika turned towards him and fluttered an ear.
"Meow?" she mewed in a plaintive tone that made everyone watching's heart melt.
Everyone except Zorak.
"No, you ancient power of terrifyingly adorable cuteness! It'll take more than your cutest to overwhelm Zorak, Lone Manti - . . . what? What are you doing?"
Chika had abandoned her little ball and scampered over to the one-antennaed mantis. Looking up at him trustingly, she, with one swift, fluid motion, lunged at his chest, baring her claws and - . . . climbed up to his shoulder, where she curled up and went to sleep, purring in his ear.
" - no . . . " Zorak whispered. "No . . . no, I can fight you . . . I can . . . oh, dang it all to heck and back. How did I not notice what a cute little kitty you are! Come here, I'll get you a saucer of milk."
And so, the three mantisses and the tiny, malevolent ball of terrifyingly adorable cuteness scuttled off into the sunset, and they lived happily ever after.
"I don't get it," Knuckles grumbled. "How did that kitten just defeat Zorak?"
Espio, who was still trying to regain his senses fully, replied, "That was . . .
CHIKA THE MALEVOLENT
" - the single most powerful being to ever roam the planet Mobius. Her powers of terrifyingly adorable cuteness will twist and conquer any evil hearts to her sweet, benevolent, and yet somewhat evil ways."
"Oh, no," Julie-su retorted. "She's just a cute little kitten. Can I keep her, Knux?"
"Oh no!" Knuckles cried. "She's under the spell of . . .
CHIKA THE MALEVOLENT
"Dang, Vector!" Mighty mused. "You were right all along. Julie-su really is evil!"
"Well well," Vector mumbled. "That really was one cute cat." He looked at the alarmed glares of the other Chaotix. "Just kidding. I hate cats."
From over the horizon came a loud growl.
Vector now looked alarmed.
"Sorry, Your Malevolence!" he called.
A contented purr reached them, and that was the last any of them ever heard of . . .
CHIKA THE MALEVOLENT
Changeling strode over and reclaimed the little ball with the bell.
"To be saved for another case of dire emergency," he informed the others.
Sabre rubbed his eyes in disbelief.
"Locke . . . was that . . . "
Locke didn't blink, just sat there, watching the screen.
"Yes," he replied. "That was . . . an ancient power of terrifyingly adorable cuteness . . . at work here on the Floating Island . . . "
The two of them stared at the screen for a few moments longer, then fell to their knees.
"We're not worthy!!"
"We're not worthy!!"
"We're scum!!"
"We suck!!"
Terri-lu was confirming matters with Professor Doodlemuncher about the coffee when the Chaotix, Knuckles, Sonic, and the other three chameleons all stormed into the Hall of Science.
"Glad you're here!" Doodlemuncher greeted before any of them could say a word. "We've discovered something very interesting here."
Knuckles blinked.
"How interesting?"
Terri-lu jammed a cup of coffee under his nose.
"This stuff is what has been making people act strangely all over the Island!"
"No way!" Vector denied. "It's just coffee!"
Before anyone could stop him, he grabbed the cup from Terri-lu and chugged it down.
"YOU FOOL!!!" Doodlemuncher yelled. "Now you're gonna go crazy again!!"
Vector feigned offense.
"I'm not crazy!" he denied. "I prefer the phrase . . . mentally impaired!! HAHAHAHAHA!"
Then he turned tail and bailed, saying something about finding a chainsaw.
"Chainsaw?" Shift murmured. He and Shadow exchanged a glance, then took off after him. "HEY! WE WANNA SEE THE CHAINSAW!!! COME BACK!!!!!!!!"
Mighty scratched his head, and Espio pretended he didn't know them.
"So what's the deal with the coffee?" Sonic asked.
Doodlemuncher wiped off his glasses.
"Terri-lu discovered that the coffee beans were sentient."
"No way!" Charmy exclaimed. "You mean people all over the city have been drinking sentient life?!"
"Yup."
"Eewwwwww!" groaned the Chaotix, exchanging expressions of disgust.
"Okay, we all agree that's pretty gross, but what's the big deal?" Sonic pressed, thinking about Mobotropolis overrun with all those plants.
"Well," Doodlemuncher explained, "taking this into consideration, Terri-lu got the Constable to hunt down some living beans and interrogate them."
"You interrogated . . . beans?" Knuckles repeated in disbelief.
"Sure did!" Terri-lu sang, "Under pain of torture! Never heard beans squeal so fast before!"
"Under pain of torture?!" Mighty nervously asked.
"Of course!" The secretary was enjoying this tale far too much. "See, unless they spilled the beans - no pun intended - we'd make 'em drink their non-sentient cousins!" She looked at the horrified glares of her audience. "What?"
Knuckles shook his head.
"We can argue about ethics later. What did you find out?"
"That there is only one way to get rid of the plants without killing them all and getting the world population of hippies on our backs," Doodlemuncher answered. "And that is through their stomachs."
"Got that right," the young echidna had to agree. "They do have extreme appetites."
"So what can we do?" Sonic asked.
"Simple. Get them all to jump off a large cliff - "
"For real, Doodlemuncher!" Espio snapped.
"All right, all right! Kids these days . . . we lure them all into a space ship and shoot them to another planet, where they can wreak their havoc somewhere else."
"Basically, we dump our problem on someone else," Terri-lu explained.
"And uh, whatever happened to those bombs you made?" Sonic asked Doodlemuncher.
"The bombs? We're keeping them to wipe out anyone who refuses to leave."
"Great," Knuckles mumbled under his breath. "Our society . . . "
"Don't worry, Knux," Espio reassured him. "We can always blame any inhumane acts of the government, just like everyone else."
"Hey!!" Terri-lu snapped.
"One problem," Constable Remington pointed out after Terri-lu had explained everything to him. "We don't have a spaceship." "No problem there," Geoffery declared.
Everyone turned to regard him with surprise and awe.
"You see, I have my very own personal space craft standing by. Secret Service Standard Issue," he added with a wink.
"Ooooo-kay . . . " Knuckles drawled out with an incredulous expression. "Fine. We have a ship and we have the plants congregated mainly in Mobotropolis. Now the question is: how do we get them from Mobotropolis to Geoff's standard issue space ship?"
"Doodlemuncher said the key was through their appetites," Sonic pointed out. "So we just need to bait it. Now, what . . . or should I say . . . who have the plants seemed more intent on chomping than anyone else?"
Slowly and yet simultaneously, everyone turned to regard the person in question.
Geoffery realized with a sinking feeling that everyone was looking at him.
"H-hey, guys, now, uh, you, uh, wouldn't, uh, want me to, uh . . . "
Remington clouted him on the back.
"For king and country, right, you little Secret Service twerp?"
Glowering, Geoffery grumbled something incoherent and jumped out of a window.
"Notify the king," Remington told Sonic. "Tell him that the moment we catch that dude, we're gonna rid the world of the sentient plants!"
"And about time, too," the hedgehog stated. "While we're on the subject, do you plan on doing anything about those Brobdingnagian Fungi?"
"I can't believe I'm doing this. I can't believe I let those Island creeps talk me into this. This is so embarrassing . . . "
This was the course of Geoffery's ramblings as he was lowered by a rope around his waist down to the doorway of his vast space craft - Secret Service Standard Issue model, of course, for all that it was actually big enough to house over a thousand sentient plants.
"Okay," Remington said to the hippy, who had returned to haunt them. "Does this make you happy? Maybe, just maybe, they'll find a home . . . somewhere . . . out there . . . "
The hippy sniffled and burst into tears.
"That is so beautiful!" he sobbed. "Yes, yes, a better solution could never have been found!" Then he left.
"YES!" Remington whooped. "He's gone! Now let's get down to business!"
"We just need to wait for one of the plants to notice him," Knuckles decided. "Then the rest of 'em'll probably charge in like a raving horde."
"Woah! Raving horde!" Vector exclaimed in joyful anticipation, still suffering from the effects of that coffee.
Remington, Knuckles, Sonic, the Chaotix, Shadow, Shift, and Changeling were all leaning over the edge of the Island, waiting to pull Geoffery out at just the right moment.
"Look!" Charmy shouted, pointing.
A strawberry had come up to Geoffery, and was sniffing at his shoes.
"There!" Mighty yelled, pointing as a raging horde of sentient plants all charged at the Secret Service Agent.
"Dang!" Vector drawled, wrinkling his nose as the carnage began. "Shouldn't we pull him out?"
"Not just yet," Remington retorted. "We want to get all the plants in there that we can."
The raging horde continued, but eventually Geoffery was pulled back to the relative safety of the Floating Island.
"You," he scowled, pointing at Remington. "Why did you leave me down there for so long? Look at me!!"
Indeed, the skunk had been chewed at drastically, and looked like it.
Remington shrugged.
"All in the interests of the world," he airily replied.
Geoffery gave one last scowl and stormed away, leaving Remington and Sonic to burst out laughing.
"Here goes!" Knuckles warned, holding the launch control pad for the space craft.
"Go for it, Knuckles," Espio encouraged. "This whole adventure has gone on for far too long."
"Yeah, man, do it before I get knocked out again!" Vector exclaimed.
"Do it before the plants escape!" Charmy urged.
"Do it before that hippy changes his mind!" Remington almost begged.
"Do it before I get bored," Sonic ordered.
"Do it before we bring back . . .
CHIKA THE MALEVOLENT
" - !!!!!" snapped the three chameleons.
Knuckles grinned and pushed the button.
The ten of them stood on the edge of the Floating Island and watched the plants disappear into outer space, never to trouble their world again.
"Wow," Sabre sniffled. "I just love happy endings."
"Oh, go and get some coffee," Locke grumbled. He wasn't very good at happy endings.
Archimedes, Semper Fidelis, and Deo Volente laughed.
Terri-lu watched the scene on T.V. with Professor Doodlemuncher, and then the two of them went out to buy some chewing gum.
Zorak, Colonel Pepsi, Fish, and Julie-su were eventually released from the power of . . .
CHIKA THE MALEVOLENT
But that's another story.
The End
Or is it?
Oooooooooo . . .
-----Epilogue-----
The plants landed on a strange, distant planet. When they emerged from the Secret Service Standard Issue Spacecraft, though, it was to the sight of . . .
A fuzzy pink giraffe with no head!!
"Hold still," ordered a mantis who was pointing a strange-looking gun at it, and then fired.
The fuzzy pink giraffe with no head popped back up into . . .
"SPAAAAAAAAAAACE GHOOOOOOOOOOST!! Yay! I'm back, and ready to crush evil as it approaches!"
"Oh, shut up," snapped the mantis.
Then they both turned and saw the thousand plus sentient plants glaring at them hungrily.
"Euh . . . why are you looking at us like that?"
Willow glanced at the other plants and winked.