Disclaimer: I don't own them. If I did, Roswell would be a totally different world. This wouldn't be necessary. And I would be SUCH a happy camper. Also, I don't own "She" by Elvis Costello. So please don't sue me.
Author's Note: Alex and Isabel didn't get to play out the story most of us know they deserved. Since the writers chose to kill off a wonderful character, and therefore can't tell the story that still needs to be told, I've decided to attempt it. This is the first instalment of what I like to call "The Stargazer Chronicles," and begins on the night of the prom. Obviously, in my AU world, Alex doesn't die. Feedback will keep me writing, so if you want more, you've got to tell me. If you love what I'm doing, tell me. If you have any suggestions, tell me. If you hate what I'm doing, tell me. (Get the idea?) Also, this is my first attempt at including a song in my fic – let me know what you think.
Distribution: Ask and ye shall receive.
Alex POV - She
"Okay, Alex, spill it."
"You've been holding out on us, Alex, and you know that's not a good idea!"
I looked from one face to the other. Liz and Maria, my best friends in the world. I wanted them to share my happiness, but did we really have to do it at 8 am?
It was as if they read my thoughts. "Yes, we have to do it at 8 am," they chorused, grinning as they strolled into my bedroom.
"We have ways to make you talk," Maria threatened, and then ruined it when she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.
"You know you always cave to tickle torture, Alex," Liz added.
I threw my hands in the air and gestured for them to sit on my bed. I hadn't slept since the night before, and truthfully, I really didn't want to. I was just too happy to waste time sleeping. And I'd get to see Izzy again in a few hours…life was good. "What do you want to know?"
"Well, for starters, how come you're grinning?" Liz asked, smiling at me.
"Where did you guys disappear to after the prom?" Maria questioned, doing her impression of a police interrogator.
"We went out to Fraser Woods and looked at the stars. And I'm grinning because I love her. And she loves me, too."
"Alex…are you serious? Isabel told you she loves you?" Maria asked softly, as if she was scared that saying it out loud would make it go away. But I knew better. Nothing could destroy what I felt for Izzy.
"Yeah…"
"Oh my god!" Maria shrieked.
She
May be the face I can't forget
A trace of pleasure or regret
May be my treasure or the price I have to pay
She may be the song that summer sings
May be the chill that autumn brings
May be a hundred different things
Within the measure of a day.
"But…I thought you'd moved
on. You said you'd given up on Isabel
when you were in Sweden," Liz said, her confusion clear.
"He might've moved on, but
that doesn't mean he stopped loving her. Did you stop loving Max when you gave him up?"
Maria was right. I may have said I was over her, but even then, I knew she'd always
have a place in my heart, no matter how much it hurt that she didn't want to be
with me. No matter how much it hurt
knowing that she'd never love me the way I loved her. I knew her face would always haunt my dreams. I knew I'd never really be happy without her in my life. I knew I'd always wonder 'what if?'
Now I won't have to
wonder. I'll know.
"No…but now I wish I had,"
Liz said softly.
I put my arm around her
shoulder. "Do you wanna talk about it?"
"No. Today is about you and Isabel. We'll talk about me some other time. Now, we want details! I have to live vicariously through someone,
you know!" she ordered, smiling at me and shaking her head when I began to
protest.
"I don't even know how to
explain everything I'm feeling right now. She's…wonderful. She's…my
everything. The girl of my dreams. Being without her…it's a hell I don't ever
want to experience again."
She
May be the beauty or the beast
May be the famine or the feast
May turn each day into a heaven or a hell
She may be the mirror of my dreams
A smile reflected in a stream
She may not be what she may seem
Inside her shell
I felt bad, because Liz
was obviously upset about something Max did, but I couldn't stop smiling if
someone offered me a million dollars. I've never been as happy in my life. Isabel…she really is the girl of my dreams. I thought I could only have her in my dreams. But now, I can have her in reality. I can walk up to her and wrap my arms around
her and kiss her hello. I can love the
girl I see inside, the girl she hides from the rest of the world.
She who always seems so happy in a crowd
Whose eyes can be so private and so proud
No one's allowed to see them when they cry
She may be the love that cannot hope to last
May come to me from shadows of the past
That I'll remember till the day I die
Liz and Maria…they thought
I was crazy, I know, for loving her for so long. They didn't see her the way I did. They just saw the girl that she showed the world, the beautiful
girl who hung out with the beautiful people and did all the right things, wore
all the right clothes.
They didn't see that she
was dying inside.
The Izzy I love is the
girl who cries alone in her room at night. The girl who is scared she'll betray her family. The girl who takes the problems of the world
on her shoulders and tries to make them better. The girl who loves me just as much as I love her.
That's the girl I saw on
the swings nearly ten years ago. That's
the girl I fell in love with. That's
the girl who was really happy, and not
just pretending as she goes through the motions with her popular
'friends.' The girl I thought I'd lost
forever until last night when she kissed me and told me that she loved me.
She
May be the reason I survive
The why and wherefore I'm alive
The one I'll care for through the rough and ready years
Me I'll take her laughter and her tears
And make them all my souvenirs
For where she goes I've got to be
The meaning of my life is
"We love each other, and
we're together. And I couldn't be
happier," I told them. My girls grinned
and enveloped me in an Alex-sandwich.
She, she, she