Disclaimer: I don't own them. If I did, Roswell would be a totally different world. This wouldn't be necessary. And I would be SUCH a happy camper. Also, I don't own "It's My Life" by Bon Jovi. So please don't sue me.
Author's Note: Alex and Isabel didn't get to play out the story most of us know they deserved. Since the writers chose to kill off a wonderful character, and therefore can't tell the story that still needs to be told, I've decided to attempt it. This is the first instalment of what I like to call "The Stargazer Chronicles," and begins on the night of the prom. Obviously, in my AU world, Alex doesn't die. Feedback will keep me writing, so if you want more, you've got to tell me. If you love what I'm doing, tell me. If you have any suggestions, tell me. If you hate what I'm doing, tell me. (Get the idea?) Also, this is my first attempt at including a song in my fic – let me know what you think.
Distribution: Ask and ye shall receive.
Isabel POV – It's My Life
Max says I'm crazy.
Maybe I am. I must be. I mean, since when do I go around and declare my undying love to
someone?
But it wasn't
someone. It was Alex. I love him. I'll shout it from the rooftops if I have to.
And if someone wants
to object, then they can just bite me.
//This ain't a song for the broken-hearted
No silent prayer for the faith-departed
I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd
You're gonna hear my voice
When I shout it out loud//
"You what?" Max asked, incredulously. "Have you lost your ever-loving mind?" He had been half-comatose when I dragged him to Michael's
apartment this morning at 8 am, but he was sure as hell awake now.
"Congratulations!" Michael
called from the kitchen.
"Thanks," I say as he
plops onto the couch beside Max. Then I
begin pacing. It's oddly comforting, in
a way. I'm pretty sure this is not
going to be a pleasant experience, to say the least, from the expression on my
brother's face.
"Why did you decide you
love him now?" Max asked. "I thought you said you would never be with
him. That it was for his own good. What changed? Have you had an unscheduled lobotomy? Fallen and hit your head? Been abducted by aliens? What?"
"Leave her alone," Michael
said as he shovelled a spoonful of cereal into his mouth.
"I had a dream."
"You had a dream?" Max cried. "You love him because of a dream?"
Oh, yeah. Long morning. I pivot to face him, mid-pace. "Max, you got to be with Liz. Michael's with Maria. If I want
to be with Alex, I will be. It's my
life. I'll live it however I
please. You're my brother, not my
keeper."
//It's my life
It's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive
(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said
I did it my way
I just wanna live while I'm alive
It's my life//
"Isabel…what about
destiny?"
"Screw destiny. That's what we decided last year. I can help our people without marrying
Michael. You're with Liz, Michael's
with Maria. And I want to be with
Alex."
"I'm not with Liz
anymore. I'm with Tess," Max said
softly.
"You what?" I parroted. I flopped onto the floor where I stood. I couldn't make it to the couch if my life depended on it, I was so
shocked. What happened to the brother I
knew, once upon a time? Who was this
stranger?
Michael's head swivelled
between me and Max as he observed the verbal tennis tournament. "You're with Tess?"
"I had to try it. Liz doesn't want me – she made that clear when
I slept with Kyle. I've got to at least
try it with Tess. I owe that to our
people."
"Max. You can do whatever you want, be with
whomever you want, and still help our people. If you want to be with Liz, then so be it. If you want to be with Tess, fine – even though I'm pretty sure
you'll end up miserable. That's your
choice. Alex is mine."
//This is for the ones who stood their ground
For Tommy and Gina who never backed down
Tomorrow's getting harder make no mistake
Luck ain't even lucky
Got to make your own breaks//
"What about our mother, Iz?" he asks softly.
I jump up and begin pacing
again. "Diane Evans is my mother,
Max. Not some alien woman who gave
birth to me in my former life. And my Mom
– both of them, if they really love me – would want me to be happy. Alex makes me happy. And he's the one I'm going to be with. I don't love Michael that way, and he sure
as hell doesn't love me like that, either. We'd just be making ourselves miserable." I paused. "I'm not going
to back down on this, Max," I added softly.
Max looks incensed. "Isabel, you have to do what I say."
"If you've got a problem
with me, Max, you can -"
Michael jumps into the
conversation, probably as an effort to keep me from clawing our fearless
leader's eyes out. "What was the dream
about, Iz?"
//It's my life
And it's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive
(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said
I did it my way
I just want to live while I'm alive
'Cause it's my life//
I began wringing my hands
as I paced. "I've been having it for
weeks now. Ever since we got back from
Vegas. It's really weird – like I'm
watching everything that's happening, but I'm not a part of it. It starts out in the cemetery. Maria's singing Amazing Grace, and I'm wearing a black dress. I can see myself throw a piece of paper and
a rose on a casket as its lowered into the ground. We're all there. Everyone
except Alex. That's the point in the
dream when I realize what's happening. We're burying Alex. Then, the
dream-me faces me and says, 'Tell him. Do what I didn't get to do. You
know we both love him, so take what you can get. Live your life the way you want to. Love him and let him love you.' And then everything changes, and we're at the Crashdown with Alex. The dream-me is telling him she loves him,
and he tells her that they both know that he loved her, too. And then he turns away a little, and says he
has to go…and that she probably won't see him anymore. That's when I wake up."
Both of them stared at me
like I really had lost my mind.
"I'm not going to let that
happen, Max. The dream-me…she was so
sad, so bitter. She scared me. I always knew I loved him. I just always thought he'd be waiting for me
when I was ready to be with him. The
dream made me realize that maybe he wouldn't. I'm going to take what I can get now."
//Better stand tall when they're calling you out
Don't bend, don't break, baby, don't back down//
"Isabel…it's just a
dream. Alex is fine."
"I know that, Max. I'm not crazy. But the dream made me wake up. It made me realize what I was missing. I'm not going to risk losing that. I'm not going to risk losing him."
//It's my life
And it's now or never
'Cause I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive
(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said
I did it my way
I just want to live while I'm alive//
"So
you're going to risk his life because of a dream?"
"Max…he's a part of
this. He has been for a year now. He made his choice. I've made my choice, too. I choose to love him. I choose to live my life the way I want
to. With him. I want to live while I'm alive, Max. I don't want to look back, years from now, and wonder 'what
if?' I'm going to spend whatever time
we have with Alex." I bit my lip. "And now it's time for you to choose, Max. You can be my brother and my friend, and be
happy for us…or you can be my king. It's up to you. But just know –
this is my life, and I'll live it
however I damned well please."
//It's my life
And it's now or never
'Cause I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive
(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said
I did it my way
I just want to live while I'm alive
'Cause it's my life!//