Disclaimer: I don't
own them. If I did, Roswell would be a
totally different world. This wouldn't
be necessary. And I would be SUCH a
happy camper. Also, I don't own "I'll
Stand By You" by The Pretenders. So
please don't sue me.
Author's Note: Alex
and Isabel didn't get to play out the story most of us know they deserved. Since the writers chose to kill off a
wonderful character, and therefore can't tell the story that still needs to be
told, I've decided to attempt it. Obviously, in my AU world, Alex doesn't die. Since we all know they can't live in a perfect world, I've
decided it's time they get a serious plot. And I always love feedback. It will keep me writing, so if you want more, you've got to tell
me.
Distribution: Ask
and ye shall receive.
Isabel POV – I'll Stand By You
I'm not entirely
sure why, but suddenly, I wake up. One
minute, I'm in dreamland, searching for Alex, and the next, I'm sitting up in
bed.
Then I hear it
again. A soft tapping against my
window, so quiet that it's almost unnoticeable from the pounding rain.
I slide out of bed
and open the curtains. Alex is perched
in the tree outside, carrying a backpack and soaking wet. "Come in," I whisper, opening the window. When he hesitates, I grab his hand and drag
him inside. "How long have you been out
there?" I demand, a little frightened when I see how cold and wet he is. His breath is mixed with tiny puffs of
vapour. It's January in New Mexico, and
it certainly isn't warm.
"Um…I've been
wandering around for a couple hours," he whispers, shivering.
"We've got to get
you warmed up." I wrap a towel around
his shoulders. Then I really look at
him. What I see scares me even more.
//Oh, why you look so sad,
The tears are in your eyes,
Come on and come to me now//
His beautiful eyes
are full of tears. He looks like a lost
little boy as I lead him to my bed. Quickly, I undo his jacket and shirt and dump them in a heap on the
floor and wave my hand over his pants to dry them. Then I pull him into my arms and stroke his damp hair. "What's wrong, Alex?" My heart is almost breaking at the
devastated look in his eyes.
He rests his head on
my shoulder and starts to cry.
//And don't be ashamed to cry,
Let me see you through,
'Cause I've seen the dark side too//
I whisper
meaningless words of comfort in his ear as he holds me like he's afraid I'll
disappear. I hum a melody I remember
from another time, another world, as we rock back and forth gently. He's always been my rock, and I'm so happy
he came to me, now, when he needs me. I
just hope I can help him, the way he's always helped me.
"I'm sorry," he
finally whispers, his breath coming in soft gasps. Sometime while he cried the
rain stopped, and now I can hear every breath he takes. The entire world is quiet. It's like we're the only two people n Earth.
I kiss his forehead
and wipe his tears away. "Alex, you've
been here with me through everything. How many times have I cried on your shoulder?" His lips tilt upward in a ghost of a smile. "I love you," I add as his lips capture my
own.
//When the night falls on you,
You don't know what to do,
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less//
Finally, we break
apart. He repositions us on the
bed. He's lying on his back and my head
is pillowed on his shoulder. His arms
are wrapped around me, and I know it's not just a gesture of affection. He's still holding me tightly, as if I were
a life preserver.
"Do you want to talk
about it?" I ask quietly.
My room is dark, and
the only light is the silver of the moon, peeking through the now-open
curtain. But it's enough to let me see
the uncertainty and desperation on his face.
"Aren't you tired?"
he questions, wrapping a lock of my hair around his finger.
"Whatever you need,
whatever you want, I'm right here," I tell him, kissing his cheek. My lips brush his mouth, and he captures me
in a desperate kiss. "I love you," I
say again as I break away. He looks
like he needs to be reminded.
And then he starts
to talk.
//I'll stand by you,
I'll stand by you,
Won't let nobody hurt you,
I'll stand by you//
"After I dropped you
off tonight, I went home. My parents
were waiting for me. They told me
they're getting divorced." His arms
tighten around me convulsively. "My
mom's leaving in the morning. She's
been having an affair, and she wants to marry the guy. She's leaving me and Dad for him!" His voice gets slightly louder as he speaks,
but he doesn't raise it above a whisper, in fear of waking my parents.
"I'm so sorry,
Alex." I know it's inadequate, but I
know he understands. My heart is
breaking for him. He's in so much pain
and I can't help him.
//So, if you're mad, get mad;
Don't hold it all inside,
Come on and talk to me now//
"I'm sorry I woke
you up."
I push myself up
until I can look into his eyes. "Don't
be sorry. Don't ever be sorry. There is nowhere in the world I would rather
be than here with you."
"I know…I'm just so
mad at her right now. I couldn't stay
there another minute. I thought I would
start screaming at her or something."
"It's okay to be
mad," I say, cupping his face in my hands. At first, he avoids looking me in the eye, then he finally gives
in. "She did a horrible thing. But that doesn't mean she stopped loving
you."
//And hey,
What you got to hide?
I get angry too,
Well, I'm a lot like you//
"I laughed when she
told me," he tells me, his voice low and miserable. "It just seemed so…crazy. I thought they were happy, you know? Have I really been that distant that I didn't even see what was
happening?"
I kiss his forehead,
his eyes, and his nose, and he pulls me back onto his chest. "You didn't see it because they didn't want
you to see it."
He pulls away from
me and rolls on his side. His face is
fierce, angry – nothing like his usual easygoing expression. "I didn't wee it because I didn't
want to see it. And they've been hiding
the divorce from me, too. It'll be
final in another couple of months."
I can read between
the lines. I know him well enough to
know what he's afraid to say. I wrap my
arms around him from behind. "Alex,
listen to me. You are not
responsible for this. This is their
mess. It affects you, I know, but it
is, ultimately, their relationship, and it's up to them to deal with it."
"I know." He doesn't sound angry anymore. He sounds defeated. And I think that scares me even more.
"Would you want your
parents to interfere in our relationship, if we were having problems?" He shakes his head hesitantly. "If we have children someday, wouldn't you
want to protect them from our problems? Isn't that what parents do?"
"Yeah…but I would've
liked a little more warning. God, Izzy,
I was totally blindsided…"
"I know," I whisper
soothingly. "But it is not your
fault. And it's okay to feel whatever
you feel."
//When you're standing at the crossroads
And don't know which path to choose,
Let me come along,
'Cause even if you're wrong//
He turns to face me
and pulls me down on his chest. "There's something else you should know." His voice sounds serious.
"What?" I ask. I try to ignore the shiver that runs down my
spine.
"Mom asked me if I
wanted to live with her."
"Oh."
"She's moving to
Texas with him."
"Oh." I think my vocabulary has been reduced to
that one word. Oh. I'm scared to say anything else. I don't want to hear the answer to my
unspoken question. Because whatever he
does, I'll feel guilty. Guilty if he
stays, because we both know he would be staying, at least in part, for me. And guilty if he goes, because I didn't beg
him to stay, because I love him enough to let him go but wish I didn't.
//I'll stand by you,
I'll stand by you,
Won't let nobody hurt you//
I know in my heart
that I would follow him to the ends of the galaxy. I know we are meant to be together forever. I know I would stand by him though anything. Love him through anything.
I just don't know if
I can live without him.
"I told her no," he
says softy. I can hear the tiny tremor
in his voice. "I can't leave
Roswell. Not yet. It's not my time. Dad's here, Liz and Maria and everyone…and you're here."
I took a deep
breath, knowing this was probably the hardest thing I would ever have to
say. But I know it has to be said, or
else I really would be Vilandra. "Alex…pretend for a moment, I wasn't in the picture. Would you go with your Mom?"
//I'll stand by you,
Take me in into your darkest hour,
And I'll never desert you,
I'll stand by you//
He looks me in the
eye. "No." I can see the truth of that single word in his eyes.
I wonder briefly if
I'm a bad person because of the relief that's flowing through my veins right
now. And then I promptly put aside that
question as something to ponder during one of my many sleepless nights.
I smile at him and
kiss his cheek. Then I pull the
blankets over both of us and curl up beside him. "Let's get some sleep, okay?"
//And when, when
the night falls on you, baby,
You're feeling all alone,
You won't be on your own//
He tries to hide a
yawn and fails miserably. "Are you sure
it's okay for me to stay here? What
about your parents?"
I wave my hand
toward the door, effectively locking it, and cuddle closer to him. "I don't want you to be alone tonight." I can see him smiling in the moonlight – his
first real smile of the night – and I grin back. "Sweet dreams."
"I love you," he
says, closing his eyes.
//I'll stand by you,
I'll stand by you,
Won't let nobody hurt you//
Slowly, as he drifts
deeper into dreamland, his features relax. He looks like a little boy again, but this time, I can see that he feels
safe. I'm glad I can give that to him.
I watch him as he
sleeps. I know I won't sleep again
tonight – I'll just spend the night thanking whatever force in this world that
brought us together. "I love you, too,"
I whisper.
//I'll stand by you,
Take me in into your darkest hour,
And I'll never desert you.
I'll stand by you//