Title: A Lesson in Kabuki Theater
Chapter: N/A
Author: Chibi-Odango
Genre: Anime (Rurouni Kenshin)
Rating: PG
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Author's Note:
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I'm writing this as I go by. A drawing of Sanosuke in a kimono with a BIG frown inspired this story. (Obviously, it wasn't his choice.) Laugh if you will, but I think it'll turn out fine. And in case it doesn't, I'll just blame the marijuan-I mean, I'll just blame the little voice of reason in my head.
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Sanosuke didn't like this one bit. Anyway, why couldn't Kenshin be the girl? He looked more like one than Sanosuke's did. (For all those who think Kenshin was a girl in a past life.) Sanosuke grunted and put his wig on.
God! I hope no one I know is out there!>
The sound of Kenshin falling, which had, by now, etched its way into Sanosuke's memory, was heard which was abruptly followed by the sound of an audience bursting into laughter. Sanosuke gasped, it sounded like a lot of people were out there!
Oh no! I can't do this!>
As Sanosuke was walking away, he bumped into Kaoru and Yahiko.
"Why do you think you're going Sanosuke?" asked Kaoru with a kendo stick in one hand and a big glowing fist of attitude in the other.
"Uh…" Sanosuke stumbled with his words, nervously eyeing Kaoru's kendo stick and fist, "Nowhere Jo-Chan! Just wanted to uh…get used to walking in these shoes! That's it! No need to watch me!"
Sanosuke sweatdropped as Kaoru pointed towards the stage and said: "MOVE!"
Sanosuke reluctantly treaded towards the stage, he would've gotten there slower had Kaoru not poked the kendo stick in his back. He heard his cue (Kenshin saying the words: 'Kasumi-chan!') and walked onstage in a full kimono with a silk fan.
"Yes, Sazaki-sama?" Sanosuke asked in a VERY high-pitched voice.
Kaoru and Yahiko stared wide-eyed at Sanosuke's performance. Their jaws dropped at the sight of Sanosuke elegantly gliding around in a full-length kimono. Yahiko's gaze of amazement soon turned to a smirk. He clasped his hand on his mouth in a desperate attempt to keep himself from bursting out in laughter. His body convulsed as he was shook by wave after wave of hilarity.
Suddenly, Yahiko's eyes went blank and a huge bump had risen on top of his head. Kaoru had smacked him with her kendo stick, HARD. Yahiko fell forward, dropping towards the stage. Kaoru quickly caught him and hung him over her shoulder.
Yahiko, Yahiko, when will you learn?>
Kaoru exited the backstage area and went into the seats. He found two empty seats and flung Yahiko into the seat next to her. She looked back up and much to her surprise, it was Kenshin and Sanosuke's kissing scene. Her eyes widened as she saw the rurouni's and the tough-skinned gangster's lips met, locking in a passionate kiss.
Yahiko was awake by then and got up to see the unbelievable act. The curtain fell afterwards and Kaoru grabbed Yahiko's hand. She leaped out the exit and ran into the backstage area. She arrived just as Sanosuke was taking off his kimono.
Kenshin walked up to Sanosuke, Kaoru, and Yahiko and sighed.
"Let's never do something like that again!" he said, shaking his head.
"Well, I don't know about that, I didn't mind it that much," replied Sanosuke, who purposely didn't look at the others.
Everyone went wide-eyed as they heard Sanosuke's remark. Kaoru
fainted first, with Yahiko catching her before he too passed out.
They slammed into the ground. Kenshin didn't actually faint, but
he never has blinked since then.
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Wow! That was the funniest thing I've ever written! Please
R&R!
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Mr. Burns: They know too much! Smithers! Get out the Memory
Wiper!
Smithers: You mean the revolver?
Mr. Burns: Yes! And when you're done, make sure to wipe your own
memory.
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