I will remember you
THE STARGAZER CHRONICLES

Never Let You Go

Part One– I Will Remember You

Disclaimer: I don't own them. If I did, Roswell would be a totally different world. This wouldn't be necessary. And I would be SUCH a happy camper. Also, I don't own "I Will Remember You" by Sarah McLachlan (my Canadian roots are going to be shining through with the next few instalments). So please don't sue me.

Author's Note: Alex and Isabel didn't get to play out the story most of us know they deserved. Since the writers chose to kill off a wonderful character, and therefore can't tell the story that still needs to be told, I've decided to attempt it. Obviously, in my AU world, Alex doesn't die. Since we all know they can't live in a perfect world, I've decided it's time they get a serious plot. And I always love feedback. It will keep me writing, so if you want more, you've got to tell me.

Distribution: Ask and ye shall receive.

Isabel POV – I Will Remember You The worst has finally happened. It's not like I haven't been expecting it. I've felt like we were living on borrowed time ever since the night I told him I loved him. I was willing to let him in, let myself get hurt, if that was the price I had to pay to be with him. And I've never regretted that. I will never regret a moment I spend with him. It still shocked me, though. I couldn't believe it was happening now, when I was finally truly happy. When I had everything I ever wanted. All this time, I've been waiting for the other shoe to drop. Nothing about my life has ever been easy and normal, and I knew the peace and happiness we were experiencing was a momentary lull. I'm surprised it lasted this long. The other shoe dropped today. No, actually, it was more like a bomb. //I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories// I was writing a history paper in my room when it happened. Max and Michael came tearing up the stairs, screaming at me to turn on the news. Before I could even reach for the remote control, Michael leapt over my bed and dove for the television. Max was frantically dialling Tess' number. "What's wrong?" I exclaimed. Neither of them answered me. Max was ordering Tess to turn on her TV, and Michael was busily flipping stations. And then my blood ran cold. I knew what was wrong instinctively. There was only one thing that could possibly freak my brothers out like this. Tears began to trickle down my cheeks and visions of every moment Alex and I shared over the past ten months flashed through my mind. The Special Unit is back. And they're out for blood. Our blood.

//Remember the good times that we had?
I let them slip away from us when things got bad
How clearly I first saw you smilin' in the sun
Wanna feel your warmth upon me, I wanna be the one//

From the first moment I saw him, back when we were nine years old, I knew there was something different about him. It was like my soul recognized him. I just couldn't articulate it back then.

When I grew older, and really started to know him, I recognized the difference again. He wanted to see the real me. Not many guys want to do that – most of them just lived to try and grope me. And he was willing to stand by me throughout everything. He let me into his heart, no questions asked and no strings attached. I just couldn't do the same for him. I will forever regret that.

Then we finally found each other again – when I was finally ready to let myself be with him – and my life was perfect. He makes me feel like I can do anything, be anything. I love him more than I ever thought possible.

//I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories//

And now I have to leave him. Max has ordered us to pack our things. We're getting the hell out of dodge. Spring Break's coming up, and we've told our parents that we're going camping again.

Going camping. Even those two words bring tears to my eyes. All I can think about is our trip last summer.

We don't know how long we'll be gone, or even if we can ever come back. But the FBI's been swarming through Roswell, and we know it's only a matter of time before they find us. So our bags are packed and we're ready to go.

The only thing left is to say goodbye.

//I'm so tired but I can't sleep
Standin' on the edge of something much too deep
It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word
We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard//

I haven't slept in two days. Not since we found out. Horrible nightmares plague my dreams, where faceless men in white lab coats pry me out of his arms and throw me in a white room.

I tap on his window. I know he's inside, sleeping, and I hate to wake him, but I can't wait any longer. If this is our last night, then I want to spend it with him. I don't want to miss a second of our time together.

//But I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories//

"Isabel?" he whispers sleepily as he opens the window and helps me inside.

I don't say anything at first. I just throw myself in his strong arms and cry into his chest.

He strokes my hair and leads me over to his bed, whispering soft words of comfort in my ear. I'm struck by how familiar this is – it's only been a month since he appeared at my window in tears. But I know that this can't be fixed as easily as his broken heart. By the end of the night, both our hearts will be shattered.

//I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to lose
Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose
Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night
You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light//

My sobs end in an inelegant hiccup, and I know my eyes are swollen and red, but I'm beyond caring. "What's wrong?" he finally asks, sensing that I'm finally able to speak.

Then I look into his eyes and I don't have to say anything at all. He can read everything in my eyes.

"You're leaving?" he whispers hoarsely. I nod, fighting back my tears. "When?"

"In a few hours," I whisper miserably. In that moment, as I explain Max's plan, I would give up everything, all my powers, to stay with him forever. But I don't have a choice.

The only light in the room is from the streetlight outside as he pulls me on his lap and wraps his arms around me. He gently kisses me, and I can feel the tears start again as the flashes envelope both of us.

Finally, we break apart. "I'm not letting you go, Isabel. Not now, not ever. I'm coming with you."

My heart skips a beat for a moment before reality breaks in. "Alex, you can't. It's too dangerous."

He shakes his head furiously. "Yes, I can, Izzy. I will not leave you. And if you don't let me come, I will pack my bag and follow you."

I momentarily consider what the others will say - then I tell my mind to go to hell and listen to my heart. I knew from the moment Max told us we had to leave that I would not be leaving with out him. I could never let him go. Not even my desire to keep him safe can compare with my need to have him next to me. "Okay," I whisper, kissing him. "But what about your Dad? Can you really leave him?"

He smiles at me sadly. "I wish it hadn't come to this, but I can. I would do anything to be with you," he adds as he hauls a duffle bag out of his closet and begins stuffing clothing in it.

I watch him as he packs. I smile a little as he throws in some clothes and the picture of us I gave him last Christmas. Max had told us that we could only bring a bag apiece, so the majority of mine was packed with clothes. But I had also managed to squeeze in the stargazing book Alex gave me two years ago and a photo album filled with pictures of my family, my friends, and my love. I was almost out the door when I ran back to grab Bo Bunny, a ratty old stuffed animal that has seen better days. My dad gave it to me the day I was officially adopted, and I've never left him behind since. I even dragged him camping last summer, even though he's lopsided because some of his stuffing fell out and patched of his fur have been rubbed off.

"Is it okay if I take my laptop?" he asks, gesturing to his desk. I nod, realizing that having a secure computer would probably help us in the long run. Then he takes a backpack from his closet and disappears.

A few minutes later, he returns. I quirk one eyebrow and look questioningly towards the bag. He grins. "Look inside," he says, grabbing two pillows and a couple of blankets from his closet and tossing them on top of his bag.

I open the bag and start to laugh. He's packed a bag of snacks – soda, Tabasco sauce, chips, fruit, cookies, and sandwiches. "I figured we wouldn't have much time to stop," he says, glancing up from the letter he's writing for his father.

Have I mentioned my boyfriend is perfect?

//And I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories//

He stores his duffle and laptop under the backseat of my jeep as I pace nervously. It's only an hour until dawn, and we're at Buckley Point, waiting for the others to join us. I wonder briefly how I'll explain Alex's presence to the others, and then I decide I don't really care. We belong together, and if the don't want him with us, I'll stay in Roswell with him and take my chances.

I watch him pile the pillows and blankets in the backseat and sling his backpack on the floor of the jeep. On our way here, we stopped at the 24-hour drugstore and bought necessities like shampoo, soap, and toothpaste. We figured that no one would remember them in their hurry to pack. And I halfway suspected that I wouldn't be the only one bringing my human counterpart with me.

My suspicions were proved correct when I saw Max pull up with Liz sitting in the jeep beside him and Michael and Maria in the back. Tess and Kyle arrived a moment later, each carrying their bags and gripping hands.

"Guess we all had the same idea," Max says unnecessarily. I smile and grab Alex's hand.

"We'd better go," Tess says, wiping tears from her cheeks as she hugs Michael tightly. She and Kyle toss their bags in next to Alex's and mine.

"Isabel and Tess know the destination. We'll each take different routes and meet up in a week. If the other group doesn't show up after three days, go to the second meeting point and wait a week. If there's still no word, assume the worse has happened and hide as best you can," Max orders. Then he and Michael hug me goodbye. I can only hope this won't be the last time I see my brothers. I'm crying so hard I can't see as Alex buckles me into the back seat and Tess gets behind the wheel.

"It'll be okay," he whispers, kissing my tears away. "I love you."

//And I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Weep not for the memories//