*Thanks for the response everyone! Talk about an inspiration to write more.
~
Sometimes everything becomes too much for one person to handle, like your brain wasn't meant to process so much information and emotion. Sometimes you just need an objective listener so you can talk through the confusion. Sometimes you just need a little help.
"Excuse me, but when does Dr. Legaspi's shift start?"
"I'm sorry miss, but Dr. Legaspi is no longer with the hospital. Nobody told you?"
"No, they didn't," Abby replied to the receptionist in the psych ward. "Well, could you tell me who's on right now?"
"Dr. Walker is in his office right now and I believe he's free," she explained. "Would you like me to page him?"
Abby hesitated.
"Um, no. It's alright," she said. She turned and began to walk away, but then stopped and turned around. "Well, yeah. Could you?"
She scratched her head, uncomfortable with the decision before her.
"Never mind," she then decided and then started walking away. She stopped in her tracks again, but before she could say anything she heard the receptionist pick up the phone.
"Dr. Walker?" Abby heard her ask. "Are you free right now?"
Abby walked over and put her elbows on the desk.
"Yes," the lady continued. "There's a..." She paused to get her name.
"Abby Lockheart. I'm a nurse in the ER."
"A Nurse Lockheart here to see you. All right. Thank you." She hung up her phone. "He has time to see you now, if you like."
Abby nodded in acknowledgement and then slowly made her way to his door. She hesitated again.
"No," she said out loud to no one in particular. "This is wrong."
She shook her head as she walked away.
~
It had been a week since John Carter kissed her. It had also been a week since they last spoke. They weren't avoiding each other anymore, but rather they exchanged awkward glances. Neither of them could think of anything to say. Neither of them could forget about that kiss either, and until they could, there wouldn't be anything to say.
"Abby," said Luka as he approached her. "I just got off for lunch. Do you want to get a bite to eat with me?"
"No thanks," she replied. "I'm not very hungry."
"You know, you haven't been eating much lately. You're going to wither away into nothing."
Abby forced a smile.
"Are you alright?" Luka asked. "I'm beginning to worry about you."
"Luka I've told you, I'm alright. If I needed help I'd ask for it." Abby didn't mean for her frustration to shine through so brightly, it's just that "are you alright" was all Luka seemed to ask anymore. Didn't he get it? There wasn't anything she needed to talk about, at least not with him.
"Okay," he said, slightly hurt. "If you need me, I'll be at Doc Magoo's."
He walked away slowly, and immediately Abby regretted having been harsh with him. Ever since Carter kissed her, though, she was uncomfortable around him. It was as though the fact that she liked the kiss meant she betrayed him.
"I'm sorry," she whispered just before starting down the hall again.
"Hey Abby?" called a voice from the room she was passing. It was Jing-Me Chen.
"Yeah Dr. Chen?" she replied.
"Could you go get me some gauze? There's none in this room and I'm having too hard a time setting this fracture to leave to get it myself."
"Sure."
Abby walked on again, this time with a new destination. She opened the door to the supply closet and was startled when she turned on the light. Carter had been standing there in the dark.
"Oh, I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't know you were in here."
"Yeah, I have a bad headache," he explained. "I took some aspirin, but I thought the dark and the quiet would help it go away faster."
"I just need to get some gauze," she said as she inched past him to reach it. She felt his hands take a hold of her hips as she did so, and a chill swam up her spine. They locked eyes for a moment, but then Abby's arm came between them. She had gotten the gauze, so there was no more reason for her to be so close to him.
"I just needed some gauze," she repeated.
"I'm sorry I haven't been talking to you, I just don't know what to say," he whispered.
"It's alright," she said. "I understand. You don't have to explain."
"I can't stop thinking about that kiss," he said.
"I've been thinking about it a lot too," she confessed just as one of the florescent bulbs about their head began to flicker.
Carter wanted to get closer, but Abby was holding the gauze to her chest, her arms preventing him from doing so.
"I really liked kissing you," Carter said.
"So did I, but-"
"But what? If you liked it, what else is there to think about?" He did lean closer then, despite the obstacle of her arms.
Abby struggled to find her answer, but she couldn't seem to find the words.
When she didn't answer, Carter took that as a sign to lean in some more. Just as his lips were about to touch hers again, she finally found what she was wanting to say.
"I can't do this to him."
Carter stopped, taking in what she had just said. He leaned back to his original position.
"I can't break that man's heart," Abby explained further.
"You don't have to explain," he said, letting go of her hips.
Abby stood in front of him for a moment, mad at herself for hurting him. She let out a sigh and then headed for the supply room door.
"Do you want me to turn the lights back off?" she asked him.
He nodded, and mouthed the word "yeah."
~
Abby opened her locker and sighed. It had been a long day, and she was looking forward to going home and taking a long hot bath. Just as she was putting on her jacket, Dr. Weaver entered the room.
"Abby?" she asked. "I know your shift just ended, but a couple of the nurses just called in sick and I was wondering if you would be willing to work an extra shift tonight."
"Sure," she said. "Why not?"
"Thanks a lot," she said. "I really appreciate it."
Weaver left and Abby took her jacket off again. She really didn't want to work, but she didn't mind it either. At least she'd get paid for being there. She poured herself a cp of coffee and then downed it before leaving the lounge. Luka was waiting for her by the front desk.
"Where's your jacket?" he asked.
"A couple nurses called in sick and Weaver asked me to stay on an extra shift tonight," she explained to him.
"Oh," he said with disappointment in his voice.
"I'm sorry," she said. "I was kind of looking forward to a quiet night at home."
"It's okay," he replied as he forced himself to cheer up. "Do you want me to go get you some dinner?"
"Yeah," she smiled. "That would be great."
"Good. What do you want?"
"Surprise me, just not with Thai."
Luka laughed.
"All right. I'll be back in a little while." He leaned down and kissed her on the cheek and then squeezed her hand before leaving.
Abby smiled, and as she turned around to face the front desk, she saw Carter out of the corner of her eye and her smile dropped. He looked angry and hurt.
She started to feel very depressed. She cared about both these men, and whatever she decided, she was going to hurt one of them. It tore her up inside to think that she could do that to either one of them, but she had to do something. She couldn't string them both along.
"Work," she decided. "I'll bury myself in work."
~
"There you are," Luka said when he entered the lounge. He was carrying a big brown bag.
"I'm sorry," Abby replied. "I didn't know you were here. I didn't mean to hide."
"It's alright. How does Italian sound?" he asked as he started unloading the contents of the bag onto the round table.
"It sounds great," Abby said just before her stomach let out a growl. "I'm starving."
Luka held up two round containers.
"Alfredo or marinara?" he asked.
"Marinara," she said with a smile.
"Good," he said, and handed her the proper container. "I wanted the alfredo for myself. I got some bread too."
"Thank you so much," she said as she took a bite of her pasta. "I owe you one."
Luka smiled as he watched her eat. Even when she was eating, she looked beautiful to him.
"Don't worry about it," he told her. "I'm glad to see you're happy again."
Abby gave him a curious look. She hadn't even realized she'd been smiling.
"Uh, thanks," she said, wiping her mouth.
"Abby?"
"Yes?"
"I think I'm falling in love with you."
Abby froze and her smile dropped, but, realizing she had food in her mouth, swallowed it down.
"You're what?" she said shocked.
"I think I'm falling in love with you," he repeated with a smile.
"Don't," she said firmly.
"Don't what?"
"Don't fall in love with me."
"What are you talking about Abby? You know I can't help myself."
"Well stop it. Don't love me," she said, growing more and more upset by the minute.
"I don't understand," Luka told her, growing more and more confused by the second.
"I won't be anything but a disappointment to you."
"I think that's for me to decide."
"I sorry, but please, don't fall in love with me," Abby pleaded. "I don't want to see you get hurt."
"Abby, is there something you need to tell me?"
"No, there's not. I just know myself better than you do. I know I'll disappoint you. You can do better than me, Luka. I'm not worth loving."
Abby abruptly got out of her chair and left the room, leaving Luka to sit there with his thoughts.
Sometimes Abby was very confusing to him. Every time he thought he was doing the right thing, it ended up being the opposite of what she wanted. He didn't know what to do anymore. He didn't know what she needed from him, and it was getting harder and harder for him to try and understand her. Every time he tried, it seemed, he was wrong.
Luka felt a lump rise in his throat. He was falling in love with Abby, and he wanted more than anything for her to open up to him. He wanted to show her what a great person she was, but he was running out of ideas.
He swallowed down the lump before he began to clean up their dinner. He left the hospital then, and took a long walk.
~
Sometimes everything becomes too much for one person to handle, like your brain wasn't meant to process so much information and emotion. Sometimes you just need an objective listener so you can talk through the confusion. Sometimes you just need a little help.
"Excuse me, but when does Dr. Legaspi's shift start?"
"I'm sorry miss, but Dr. Legaspi is no longer with the hospital. Nobody told you?"
"No, they didn't," Abby replied to the receptionist in the psych ward. "Well, could you tell me who's on right now?"
"Dr. Walker is in his office right now and I believe he's free," she explained. "Would you like me to page him?"
Abby hesitated.
"Um, no. It's alright," she said. She turned and began to walk away, but then stopped and turned around. "Well, yeah. Could you?"
She scratched her head, uncomfortable with the decision before her.
"Never mind," she then decided and then started walking away. She stopped in her tracks again, but before she could say anything she heard the receptionist pick up the phone.
"Dr. Walker?" Abby heard her ask. "Are you free right now?"
Abby walked over and put her elbows on the desk.
"Yes," the lady continued. "There's a..." She paused to get her name.
"Abby Lockheart. I'm a nurse in the ER."
"A Nurse Lockheart here to see you. All right. Thank you." She hung up her phone. "He has time to see you now, if you like."
Abby nodded in acknowledgement and then slowly made her way to his door. She hesitated again.
"No," she said out loud to no one in particular. "This is wrong."
She shook her head as she walked away.
~
It had been a week since John Carter kissed her. It had also been a week since they last spoke. They weren't avoiding each other anymore, but rather they exchanged awkward glances. Neither of them could think of anything to say. Neither of them could forget about that kiss either, and until they could, there wouldn't be anything to say.
"Abby," said Luka as he approached her. "I just got off for lunch. Do you want to get a bite to eat with me?"
"No thanks," she replied. "I'm not very hungry."
"You know, you haven't been eating much lately. You're going to wither away into nothing."
Abby forced a smile.
"Are you alright?" Luka asked. "I'm beginning to worry about you."
"Luka I've told you, I'm alright. If I needed help I'd ask for it." Abby didn't mean for her frustration to shine through so brightly, it's just that "are you alright" was all Luka seemed to ask anymore. Didn't he get it? There wasn't anything she needed to talk about, at least not with him.
"Okay," he said, slightly hurt. "If you need me, I'll be at Doc Magoo's."
He walked away slowly, and immediately Abby regretted having been harsh with him. Ever since Carter kissed her, though, she was uncomfortable around him. It was as though the fact that she liked the kiss meant she betrayed him.
"I'm sorry," she whispered just before starting down the hall again.
"Hey Abby?" called a voice from the room she was passing. It was Jing-Me Chen.
"Yeah Dr. Chen?" she replied.
"Could you go get me some gauze? There's none in this room and I'm having too hard a time setting this fracture to leave to get it myself."
"Sure."
Abby walked on again, this time with a new destination. She opened the door to the supply closet and was startled when she turned on the light. Carter had been standing there in the dark.
"Oh, I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't know you were in here."
"Yeah, I have a bad headache," he explained. "I took some aspirin, but I thought the dark and the quiet would help it go away faster."
"I just need to get some gauze," she said as she inched past him to reach it. She felt his hands take a hold of her hips as she did so, and a chill swam up her spine. They locked eyes for a moment, but then Abby's arm came between them. She had gotten the gauze, so there was no more reason for her to be so close to him.
"I just needed some gauze," she repeated.
"I'm sorry I haven't been talking to you, I just don't know what to say," he whispered.
"It's alright," she said. "I understand. You don't have to explain."
"I can't stop thinking about that kiss," he said.
"I've been thinking about it a lot too," she confessed just as one of the florescent bulbs about their head began to flicker.
Carter wanted to get closer, but Abby was holding the gauze to her chest, her arms preventing him from doing so.
"I really liked kissing you," Carter said.
"So did I, but-"
"But what? If you liked it, what else is there to think about?" He did lean closer then, despite the obstacle of her arms.
Abby struggled to find her answer, but she couldn't seem to find the words.
When she didn't answer, Carter took that as a sign to lean in some more. Just as his lips were about to touch hers again, she finally found what she was wanting to say.
"I can't do this to him."
Carter stopped, taking in what she had just said. He leaned back to his original position.
"I can't break that man's heart," Abby explained further.
"You don't have to explain," he said, letting go of her hips.
Abby stood in front of him for a moment, mad at herself for hurting him. She let out a sigh and then headed for the supply room door.
"Do you want me to turn the lights back off?" she asked him.
He nodded, and mouthed the word "yeah."
~
Abby opened her locker and sighed. It had been a long day, and she was looking forward to going home and taking a long hot bath. Just as she was putting on her jacket, Dr. Weaver entered the room.
"Abby?" she asked. "I know your shift just ended, but a couple of the nurses just called in sick and I was wondering if you would be willing to work an extra shift tonight."
"Sure," she said. "Why not?"
"Thanks a lot," she said. "I really appreciate it."
Weaver left and Abby took her jacket off again. She really didn't want to work, but she didn't mind it either. At least she'd get paid for being there. She poured herself a cp of coffee and then downed it before leaving the lounge. Luka was waiting for her by the front desk.
"Where's your jacket?" he asked.
"A couple nurses called in sick and Weaver asked me to stay on an extra shift tonight," she explained to him.
"Oh," he said with disappointment in his voice.
"I'm sorry," she said. "I was kind of looking forward to a quiet night at home."
"It's okay," he replied as he forced himself to cheer up. "Do you want me to go get you some dinner?"
"Yeah," she smiled. "That would be great."
"Good. What do you want?"
"Surprise me, just not with Thai."
Luka laughed.
"All right. I'll be back in a little while." He leaned down and kissed her on the cheek and then squeezed her hand before leaving.
Abby smiled, and as she turned around to face the front desk, she saw Carter out of the corner of her eye and her smile dropped. He looked angry and hurt.
She started to feel very depressed. She cared about both these men, and whatever she decided, she was going to hurt one of them. It tore her up inside to think that she could do that to either one of them, but she had to do something. She couldn't string them both along.
"Work," she decided. "I'll bury myself in work."
~
"There you are," Luka said when he entered the lounge. He was carrying a big brown bag.
"I'm sorry," Abby replied. "I didn't know you were here. I didn't mean to hide."
"It's alright. How does Italian sound?" he asked as he started unloading the contents of the bag onto the round table.
"It sounds great," Abby said just before her stomach let out a growl. "I'm starving."
Luka held up two round containers.
"Alfredo or marinara?" he asked.
"Marinara," she said with a smile.
"Good," he said, and handed her the proper container. "I wanted the alfredo for myself. I got some bread too."
"Thank you so much," she said as she took a bite of her pasta. "I owe you one."
Luka smiled as he watched her eat. Even when she was eating, she looked beautiful to him.
"Don't worry about it," he told her. "I'm glad to see you're happy again."
Abby gave him a curious look. She hadn't even realized she'd been smiling.
"Uh, thanks," she said, wiping her mouth.
"Abby?"
"Yes?"
"I think I'm falling in love with you."
Abby froze and her smile dropped, but, realizing she had food in her mouth, swallowed it down.
"You're what?" she said shocked.
"I think I'm falling in love with you," he repeated with a smile.
"Don't," she said firmly.
"Don't what?"
"Don't fall in love with me."
"What are you talking about Abby? You know I can't help myself."
"Well stop it. Don't love me," she said, growing more and more upset by the minute.
"I don't understand," Luka told her, growing more and more confused by the second.
"I won't be anything but a disappointment to you."
"I think that's for me to decide."
"I sorry, but please, don't fall in love with me," Abby pleaded. "I don't want to see you get hurt."
"Abby, is there something you need to tell me?"
"No, there's not. I just know myself better than you do. I know I'll disappoint you. You can do better than me, Luka. I'm not worth loving."
Abby abruptly got out of her chair and left the room, leaving Luka to sit there with his thoughts.
Sometimes Abby was very confusing to him. Every time he thought he was doing the right thing, it ended up being the opposite of what she wanted. He didn't know what to do anymore. He didn't know what she needed from him, and it was getting harder and harder for him to try and understand her. Every time he tried, it seemed, he was wrong.
Luka felt a lump rise in his throat. He was falling in love with Abby, and he wanted more than anything for her to open up to him. He wanted to show her what a great person she was, but he was running out of ideas.
He swallowed down the lump before he began to clean up their dinner. He left the hospital then, and took a long walk.